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Judgemental people ?

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth

When we went into swinging, we had a lot of fun at the start but when s few people we knew found out they judged us as freaks !!!!!!!! Why do people judge swingers as freaks and does it bother you if so called friends judge you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It annoys me if people judge me. But no-one knows the 'real' me. And if they do judge.... They aren't really friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It annoys me if people judge me. But no-one knows the 'real' me. And if they do judge.... They aren't really friends. "

Here here!!! My sex life is my own, I won't just tell everyone. How did your friends find out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When we went into swinging, we had a lot of fun at the start but when s few people we knew found out they judged us as freaks !!!!!!!! Why do people judge swingers as freaks and does it bother you if so called friends judge you ? "

"So called"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't care, won't care what peeps may think about me being on FAB and a member of Chams.

Except for my mum as she is old and of a different generation, and consider everything I do as being wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont tell anyone but i dont exactly keep it a secret.

I dont mind what anyone thinks of me because i know that i am basicaly, a nice person.

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"It annoys me if people judge me. But no-one knows the 'real' me. And if they do judge.... They aren't really friends. "

Well said hun x this is what i said to Penny when it was decided we should give it a break x they are not real friends and very narrow minded x life is for living and enjoying things like this doesnt harm others but enhances our own sex lifes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When we went into swinging, we had a lot of fun at the start but when s few people we knew found out they judged us as freaks !!!!!!!! Why do people judge swingers as freaks and does it bother you if so called friends judge you ? "

The 'friends' that judged you feel threatened not by you but by the way you undermine their principals. They see love as an exclusive street and by realising that you can love each other yet make love to other people you are shaking their conviction as to what love really is. Ultimately, by rejecting you they reaffirm their fragile feelings for each other.

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"Don't care, won't care what peeps may think about me being on FAB and a member of Chams.

Except for my mum as she is old and of a different generation, and consider everything I do as being wrong! "

I think most parents from the older generation would be the same hun x

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"I dont tell anyone but i dont exactly keep it a secret.

I dont mind what anyone thinks of me because i know that i am basicaly, a nice person."

Well said hun x we are all human and i wopuld like to think we are also nice people x

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"When we went into swinging, we had a lot of fun at the start but when s few people we knew found out they judged us as freaks !!!!!!!! Why do people judge swingers as freaks and does it bother you if so called friends judge you ?

The 'friends' that judged you feel threatened not by you but by the way you undermine their principals. They see love as an exclusive street and by realising that you can love each other yet make love to other people you are shaking their conviction as to what love really is. Ultimately, by rejecting you they reaffirm their fragile feelings for each other."

Thank you for your nice comments xx

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

My good friends know I'm a swinger, a couple of them disapprove of my lifestyle choice and have said so, some say they envy me having "the guts" to do it, others have no feelings either way.....they are still my friends and not one of them has been nasty to me - I have a bloody great gang of mates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When we went into swinging, we had a lot of fun at the start but when s few people we knew found out they judged us as freaks !!!!!!!! Why do people judge swingers as freaks and does it bother you if so called friends judge you ?

The 'friends' that judged you feel threatened not by you but by the way you undermine their principals. They see love as an exclusive street and by realising that you can love each other yet make love to other people you are shaking their conviction as to what love really is. Ultimately, by rejecting you they reaffirm their fragile feelings for each other."

That's not far from the truth at all

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"My good friends know I'm a swinger, a couple of them disapprove of my lifestyle choice and have said so, some say they envy me having "the guts" to do it, others have no feelings either way.....they are still my friends and not one of them has been nasty to me - I have a bloody great gang of mates "

Wish all friends were the same x it caused us numerous problems x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My good friends know I'm a swinger, a couple of them disapprove of my lifestyle choice and have said so, some say they envy me having "the guts" to do it, others have no feelings either way.....they are still my friends and not one of them has been nasty to me - I have a bloody great gang of mates

Wish all friends were the same x it caused us numerous problems x"

Just how many of your friends know and why did you feel the need to share?

Surely basic common sense is that not everyone will approve of this sort of lifestyle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trust me dude your in the right place to be surrounded by so called friends and you can bet ya life there all judging you good luck and have fun

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"My good friends know I'm a swinger, a couple of them disapprove of my lifestyle choice and have said so, some say they envy me having "the guts" to do it, others have no feelings either way.....they are still my friends and not one of them has been nasty to me - I have a bloody great gang of mates "

I d echo that. Some, not all of my friends know that I am a swinger and are neither judgmental nor overtly curious about my lifestyle whcih means to me that they are comfortable with what I am/do and equally happy with their own lifestyle.

I d agree with Wishy (What... again??? lol) that people who judge are usually the ones who feel threatened in their "black and white" polarised outlook on life.

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"My good friends know I'm a swinger, a couple of them disapprove of my lifestyle choice and have said so, some say they envy me having "the guts" to do it, others have no feelings either way.....they are still my friends and not one of them has been nasty to me - I have a bloody great gang of mates

Wish all friends were the same x it caused us numerous problems x

Just how many of your friends know and why did you feel the need to share?

Surely basic common sense is that not everyone will approve of this sort of lifestyle?"

Well we openly told a couple then a few others found out and we were freaks lol

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Most are just scared of the life we lead the only difference is we live life n grasp it with both hands they just dream the life as they ant got balls to just go for it

I agree with all the above

Mind over matter......them that mind don't matter

Just live life your true friends will accept you warts n all the others are fair weather friends

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

swingers judge other swingers, so why is it surprising non swingers would judge swingers...

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

the worlds full of gossipers n curtain twitchers they talk about us n our lives because inside they're jealous n ant got lives of ther own

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"swingers judge other swingers"

Are they allowed to do that?

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"the worlds full of gossipers n curtain twitchers they talk about us n our lives because inside they're jealous n ant got lives of ther own "

I reckon ur right its jealousy

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"swingers judge other swingers

Are they allowed to do that?"

of course, swingers are above it and are ok passing judgements on others but don't want it returned to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of my colleagues know what I get up to, however, they all have the good grace to keep it at "wink wink hush hush" level, as I do not go on about it, or jam it down their throat so to speak, and they respect my privacy outside work.

My best friends and some of my family friends know about it too. Again, they respect my privacy, and I do not tell them what I get up to.

It does not come as a surprise to all those in the know, as they have all been exposed to my unconventional and independent streaks!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"the worlds full of gossipers n curtain twitchers they talk about us n our lives because inside they're jealous n ant got lives of ther own

I reckon ur right its jealousy"
they have obviously got lives of their own. I don't think its jealousy either..I think its more to do with their lack of knowledge about the swinging scene in general

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"the worlds full of gossipers n curtain twitchers they talk about us n our lives because inside they're jealous n ant got lives of ther own

I reckon ur right its jealousythey have obviously got lives of their own. I don't think its jealousy either..I think its more to do with their lack of knowledge about the swinging scene in general"

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Personally, I'm always surprised people feel the need to share their "private" life with all and sundry, then are shocked when people don't share their _iews.

On any given day on this site for "like minded people" people judge. Why the surprise those outwith judge?

We all judge others in some shape and form.

I know my family and friends wouldn't understand what I do and would think me a freak. I don't think that makes them jealous, insecure or repressed. It makes them different from me sexually, but I was them five years ago.

I suppose if we don't want our sexual exploits discussed, keep it to yourself. Loose lips and all that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I am asked about what happens at a swingers club such as Chams, I would tell the enquirers the way I see things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it”

Oscar Wilde.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Most are just scared of the life we lead the only difference is we live life n grasp it with both hands they just dream the life as they ant got balls to just go for it

I agree with all the above

Mind over matter......them that mind don't matter

Just live life your true friends will accept you warts n all the others are fair weather friends "

Do you honestly believe people can only have a life if they're promiscuous?!! Haahaahaahaa!!! Really?!!

If I've misinterpreted your post I apologise unreservedly.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

jesus read back previous threads posted on here hourly, daily, weekly, monthly....

judgements, judgements, judgements...

if married and playing away... judged by some

if married and don't like people not playing with them... judged by some

if people dont want to play... they are too fussy ... judged by some

if we don't like look of people ... judged as riff raff by some

and so on and so on and so...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

only god can judge me...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"only god can judge me..."

and i do my son....

keep up the good work..

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"Personally, I'm always surprised people feel the need to share their "private" life with all and sundry, then are shocked when people don't share their _iews.

On any given day on this site for "like minded people" people judge. Why the surprise those outwith judge?

We all judge others in some shape and form.

I know my family and friends wouldn't understand what I do and would think me a freak. I don't think that makes them jealous, insecure or repressed. It makes them different from me sexually, but I was them five years ago.

I suppose if we don't want our sexual exploits discussed, keep it to yourself. Loose lips and all that!

"

Good point raised there , thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"jesus read back previous threads posted on here hourly, daily, weekly, monthly....

judgements, judgements, judgements...

if married and playing away... judged by some

if married and don't like people not playing with them... judged by some

if people dont want to play... they are too fussy ... judged by some

if we don't like look of people ... judged as riff raff by some

and so on and so on and so...

"

Oooh I must've missed that!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"jesus read back previous threads posted on here hourly, daily, weekly, monthly....

judgements, judgements, judgements...

if married and playing away... judged by some

if married and don't like people not playing with them... judged by some

if people dont want to play... they are too fussy ... judged by some

if we don't like look of people ... judged as riff raff by some

and so on and so on and so...

Oooh I must've missed that! "

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I agree with _iew...some people aren't happy unless they have their superior heads on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all judge, it's perfectly natural. The problem is you're often judged harshly and you wish you weren't.

Frankly, if anything comes across as holier than thou or superior it's those people who accuse others of being judgemental just for having opinions on things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree with _iew...some people aren't happy unless they have their superior heads on "

Oi carnt foind moi superior 'ead Arnt Sally...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most of my close friends know I swing (to the small extent that I do) and they all find it interesting. no one judges me at all.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I agree with _iew...some people aren't happy unless they have their superior heads on

Oi carnt foind moi superior 'ead Arnt Sally...

"

*Giggles*...oh you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

everyone is judgmental at some point?

whether its shaking your head at some chick faslling out a pub blind d*unk in the afternoon or a guy peeing out in the street,,

it happens

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would that be lacking in tolerance rather than judgemental?

I admit to having low tolerance to unsociable behaviours at my old age!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we find the same...people do tend to judge swingers as freaks and believe that what we do is wrong!!at the end of the day we are all having harmless fun and everyone involved is enjoying themselfs!!we think that given half the chance all these people that do judge us would love to live our lifestyles!!lol..carrying on swinging all u horny peeps!!

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"we find the same...people do tend to judge swingers as freaks and believe that what we do is wrong!!at the end of the day we are all having harmless fun and everyone involved is enjoying themselfs!!we think that given half the chance all these people that do judge us would love to live our lifestyles!!lol..carrying on swinging all u horny peeps!!"

well said we are not freaks we love life so fuck the narrow minded twats lol

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"most of my close friends know I swing (to the small extent that I do) and they all find it interesting. no one judges me at all."

thanks for your comment xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree. Everyone has opinions, things they like, things they don't or indifferent. Just because someone doesn't share the same _iewpoint doesn't make them jealous or insecure...isn't that being presumptuous and judgemental of them to think so?

Does it really matter what others think as long as you are happy and not doing harm to others? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry - the completely agree bit - was to a post further up about about it doesn't make people jealous just because they express a _iewpoint! Clearly can't copy and paste (don't judge my crap computer skills ha ha)x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yeah all swingers love this lifestyle...

until they can't get a meet, they then rant their complete LOVE of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"everyone is judgmental at some point?

whether its shaking your head at some chick faslling out a pub blind d*unk in the afternoon or a guy peeing out in the street,,

it happens

auds xx"

I think that is a very valid point! And it then depends on what you think/ do next...where "judgmental attitude" comes in.

Being judgmental is also, in my _iew, about making assumptions , drawing conclusions from somebody's looks or behaviour to other parts of their personality.

Just my tuppence worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"everyone is judgmental at some point?

whether its shaking your head at some chick faslling out a pub blind d*unk in the afternoon or a guy peeing out in the street,,

it happens

auds xx

I think that is a very valid point! And it then depends on what you think/ do next...where "judgmental attitude" comes in.

Being judgmental is also, in my _iew, about making assumptions , drawing conclusions from somebody's looks or behaviour to other parts of their personality.

Just my tuppence worth "

Ooops.. meant to add it was "her"

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By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman
over a year ago

amersham

My sex life is my business. Don't feel the need to share and know family and work would be very disapproving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some think if your married or boyfriend girlfriend how could you let a person ner your other half as most vanillas would kill them , lol if thay did go ner there loved one . lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

well if you go round discussing your sex life with all and sundry your going to expect some to be judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"everyone is judgmental at some point?

whether its shaking your head at some chick faslling out a pub blind d*unk in the afternoon or a guy peeing out in the street,,

it happens

auds xx"

Why...?

If I saw someone falling out of a pub d*unk... Id go see if they were ok... They could be celebrating a promotion or drowning sorrows having just come from a family funeral....

When you just have to piss... There are very few public toilets around... And he might have a serious bladder problem...

One doesnt "know"... One doesnt need to judge...;-)

'Course... I could be wrong...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Several of my friends and work colleagues know about what i do, and not one has raised an eyebrow or given me that look...infact, im the first persons office they stop by on a Mon morning at work to see what ive been up to over the weekend lol! If anyone ever judged me for this, then i think that says more about them than it does me, and i truly dont give a crap

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By *ick0305 OP   Man
over a year ago

plymouth


"Several of my friends and work colleagues know about what i do, and not one has raised an eyebrow or given me that look...infact, im the first persons office they stop by on a Mon morning at work to see what ive been up to over the weekend lol! If anyone ever judged me for this, then i think that says more about them than it does me, and i truly dont give a crap "

well said , thats the spirit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get judged all the time and labelled because im a single guy.

you get the feeling being single means your not allowed to swing and thats its only reserved for couples.

i say fuck them! dont like me, bite me

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By *haz toriaWoman
over a year ago

sunderland

Let them get on with it

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"everyone is judgmental at some point?

whether its shaking your head at some chick faslling out a pub blind d*unk in the afternoon or a guy peeing out in the street,,

it happens

auds xx

Why...?

If I saw someone falling out of a pub d*unk... Id go see if they were ok... They could be celebrating a promotion or drowning sorrows having just come from a family funeral....

When you just have to piss... There are very few public toilets around... And he might have a serious bladder problem...

One doesnt "know"... One doesnt need to judge...;-)

'Course... I could be wrong..."

precisely what I meant

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

[Removed by poster at 10/06/12 21:21:20]

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I have never felt the need to talk about my private life to my everyday friends......works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

noone i know knows i use sites like this or go to swinging clubs etc so never come across this, if you dont want to be judged keep your private ike private

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We keep our private life private! We don't feel our friends need to know and to be honest don't really want them to know! Saves getting judged that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we keep our private life ,,,just that,,,private.

if your going to tell folk you swing be prepared thats all im saying.

auds xx

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