FabSwingers.com forum: Friends bf on dating app

By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

So hopefully this won't get too controversial.

But I have a friend (female) who has been with her boyfriend a long time.

Not an open relationship or anything. However before lockdown they had a few ups and downs. They are still together, I asked how they are and she says they are fine now and are back looking at houses.

However someone I know also knows her boyfriend. And has seen him on a dating app. He told her he was single a couple of days ago.

What would you do? The right thing is surely to tell her as she is your friend. But at the same time could get very messy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay out of it. None of anyone else’s business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell her.

People will tell you ‘it’s not your shit show!’ but I’d rather know. If my husband was doing something like that, I’d want to know about it.

They’re looking at houses? Fuck that. Tell her.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I’d stay out of it

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her. "

My friend sent me a screenshot

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

She deserves to know.

My OH is on tinder (obvs with my knowledge) so luckily I can just say ‘it’s ok I know’.

Yes, it might cause a shitstorm but it will also open dialogue between the pair to either split up or open their relationship or whatever.

My #1 rule is ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’ and you telling her Is factual. That’s just my opinion anyway.

*disclaimer - I do believe you have to be really close to someone to be able to do it though. Not just someone you ‘know to say hello to’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

My friend sent me a screenshot"

Forward the screenshot, say you’re sorry that you’re the one who’s showing her, but your pal showed you and you’d rather she knew about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She deserves to know.

My OH is on tinder (obvs with my knowledge) so luckily I can just say ‘it’s ok I know’.

Yes, it might cause a shitstorm but it will also open dialogue between the pair to either split up or open their relationship or whatever.

My #1 rule is ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’ and you telling her Is factual. That’s just my opinion anyway.

*disclaimer - I do believe you have to be really close to someone to be able to do it though. Not just someone you ‘know to say hello to’ "

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

The key word is that she’s your friend if you know for sure I think she deserves to know

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Personally I wouldn’t say a thing, I noticed someone on here that seemed to look familiar and it turned out to be a friends on off bf, as it happens he’s a bit I’d a twat anyway and she came to that conclusion all by herself without any input from me. Plus you could potentially get the blame for breaking up or causing issues in your friends relationship

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

My friend sent me a screenshot

Forward the screenshot, say you’re sorry that you’re the one who’s showing her, but your pal showed you and you’d rather she knew about it"

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would tell her.

People will tell you ‘it’s not your shit show!’ but I’d rather know. If my husband was doing something like that, I’d want to know about it.

They’re looking at houses? Fuck that. Tell her. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

My friend sent me a screenshot

Forward the screenshot, say you’re sorry that you’re the one who’s showing her, but your pal showed you and you’d rather she knew about it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having thought about this a bit more I think it would depend how close a friend. If it was my best friend/brother/sister then I think I’d maybe speak to the person in the wrong and not the friend. Anyone else I’d stay out of it. I really don’t believe in getting involved in others people’s business. At all!

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

My friend sent me a screenshot

Forward the screenshot, say you’re sorry that you’re the one who’s showing her, but your pal showed you and you’d rather she knew about it"

This

those I class as friends I would be sure to let them know, if it was just a someone I knew to say hi to & polite chat I'd stay out of it tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would tell her.

People will tell you ‘it’s not your shit show!’ but I’d rather know. If my husband was doing something like that, I’d want to know about it.

They’re looking at houses? Fuck that. Tell her. "

Agree with you totally.

Tell her. A friend deserves honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) would want telling, and I'd feel utterly betrayed if my friends knew and didn't tell me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have to stick your nose in, speak to him about it, not her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have to stick your nose in, speak to him about it, not her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was an acquaintance I'd stay out. A friend, she deserves to know. Yes it's shitty and being the barer of bad news isn't great but she should know. It's also saving her as people will see him on tinder and if people are talking behind her back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would tell her.

People will tell you ‘it’s not your shit show!’ but I’d rather know. If my husband was doing something like that, I’d want to know about it.

They’re looking at houses? Fuck that. Tell her. "

Very much this!! What friend would let her just carry on oblivious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So hopefully this won't get too controversial.

But I have a friend (female) who has been with her boyfriend a long time.

However someone I know also knows her boyfriend. And has seen him on a dating app. He told her he was single a couple of days ago.

What would you do? The right thing is surely to tell her as she is your friend. But at the same time could get very messy. "

Stay out of it!none of your business

Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go round punch his lights out and run away with her, she deserves better, especially if they are buying a house together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say it depends entirely on your relationship with this friend. Are you close enough that you would hope that she would tell you in similar circumstances or are you sufficiently removed that you feel it wouldn’t be any of her business?

It’s a hard one but only you really know what your dynamic is with this friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She deserves to know.

My OH is on tinder (obvs with my knowledge) so luckily I can just say ‘it’s ok I know’.

Yes, it might cause a shitstorm but it will also open dialogue between the pair to either split up or open their relationship or whatever.

My #1 rule is ‘you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors’ and you telling her Is factual. That’s just my opinion anyway.

*disclaimer - I do believe you have to be really close to someone to be able to do it though. Not just someone you ‘know to say hello to’ "

I agree. I probably wouldn't tell a work colleague.

A man at work was having an affair with another woman at work. Everyone knew except his wife. It was horrible when she found out because she felt betrayed by not just him but her friends and colleagues too.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"If you have to stick your nose in, speak to him about it, not her"

Exactly this, it's a big if too. But go speak to the boyfriend and have a chat. Nobody knows what's happening and before throwing a hand grenade you need to find out. Having said that. Not sure you need to get involved at all.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her. "

Agreed as it's then not hearsay, I would be taking screenshots as proof though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her.

My friend sent me a screenshot

Forward the screenshot, say you’re sorry that you’re the one who’s showing her, but your pal showed you and you’d rather she knew about it"

Absolutely this

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By *ove2lickJemWoman
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

The right thing is to tell her, but that has so many variables. She does need to know though. The middle ground could be to send her the screenshot from an anon source then you're not the messenger but have done the right thing telling her, and can be there as a friend without it messing your friendship up.

One caveat though. A lot of people genuinely don't know you have to deactivate your account not just delete the app so there's an outside tiny chance of innocence, but she should still know so he can sort it if that's the case.

Good luck.. Xx

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

Why doesn’t the guy who supposedly saw the evidence for himself and knows the bf speak to him?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

As long as you don't have an interest in her romantically or sexually as well OP. Sorry, forgot to add that.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Thanks for all the replies. Very split on opinions as I thought there might be.

She's a good friend. Nothing between us or any interest not trying to steal her or anything. Just a good friend.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

And just on the app situation. The girl he messaged who I know told him she knew me. He then deleted the app.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

The girl I know who he spoke to doesn't think it's her business which is fair enough. She isn't pals with either of them. Just knew him from school.

She has told me and it's up to me if I tell my friend.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"And just on the app situation. The girl he messaged who I know told him she knew me. He then deleted the app. "

That adds new feeling. Least the app has now gone but the intent was 100% there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The girl I know who he spoke to doesn't think it's her business which is fair enough. She isn't pals with either of them. Just knew him from school.

She has told me and it's up to me if I tell my friend. "

See already it’s too he said she said for me. I’d stay well clear if I was you.

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

Oh boy, the old can of worms....same people all over again voting against and same people voting in favour... God these forums are getting so old.

Just do whatever you want to do...if you need a forum to help you make a decision then you're most likely doing it wrong, follow your guts.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yeh he's clearly deleted the app in a panic she will tell me he's on there. So he's obviously guilty and didn't want caught.

That to me makes me think she deserves to know. Because how many other girls has he chatted to on there or potentially met up with.

So tricky

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

For me it depends how good a friend she is.

If it was good friend, someone I was close to then well....

It not a good friend I'd stay out of it

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

if its my best friend, hell yes. she be really upset with me if she found out later i withheld this information from her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you want her to tell you if it was the other way round? Imagine if she finds out herself and finds out you knew all along

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Ok thanks everyone. Mind is made up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok thanks everyone. Mind is made up "

Just rem_mber, the messenger gets shot

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

"And just on the app situation. The girl he messaged who I know told him she knew me. He then deleted the app. "

Has he deleted the app or just blocked the other lady?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok thanks everyone. Mind is made up

Just rem_mber, the messenger gets shot "

Not always

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

If you were my friend and I was in that situation, I'd want you to tell me.

If I were him, I'd be expecting her to find out at somepoint, as it's only a matter of time till more of her friends see him.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"If you have to stick your nose in, speak to him about it, not her

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Interesting dilemma.

I wonder how many men are on here without their wives knowing.

Send it to her anonymously and be her shoulder to cry on. After two months tell her how you feel about her. And Bingo she is yours.

During those two months while you are waiting it might be worth putting a profile on a dating app. She will never know....and it's not as if your dating yet...

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Interesting dilemma.

I wonder how many men are on here without their wives knowing.

Send it to her anonymously and be her shoulder to cry on. After two months tell her how you feel about her. And Bingo she is yours.

During those two months while you are waiting it might be worth putting a profile on a dating app. She will never know....and it's not as if your dating yet... "

He doesn’t want to be with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No keep out of it. Unless you grew up with her like she was a sister. Family is the only time I think I would intervene and even then reluctantly. The little glow you might get from being helpful won't last long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know nothing about this. Could be an old profile from when they were split up... she could not be on the same page as him and living in hope... they could swing... could even be an old screen shot.

Mind your own business and tell your friend too aswell. If they have a problem they should go to him... not to you to go to her.

You're just a middle man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't bother saying owt, life's hard enough without someone else's shite on your hands.

Anyway, Chances are if the shoe was on the other foot they'd not bother telling you.

Pays to be selfish 99% of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From another angle, You can't be 100% sure this profile isn't a catfish, the person may have deleted the app after being sussed out he wasn't who he was supposed to be.

Personally I'd keep out of it, could get messy unless you are 100% it's definitely him and have more than a photo to prove it was him.

My two pence worth

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

It's definitely him. He unfriended the friend in common on social media

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Also it's not an old profile. The screenshot was taken yesterday. The profile is now gone but on that app you can still see messages to people who are no longer active

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

So got a screenshot of him saying he's single a day ago.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Anyway cheers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% tell her. Be non judgemental, show her the screenshot and say you wanted her to have all the information but support her whatever she decides.

I was with someone where my gut told me he was cheating but I never had any proof. He managed to convince me I was the problem and my self esteem and mental health plummeted. Finally I found out I was right - I just wish someone had told me sooner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He’s toast lol

That is all x

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"100% tell her. Be non judgemental, show her the screenshot and say you wanted her to have all the information but support her whatever she decides.

Thank you

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By *ove2lickJemWoman
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL

"Ok thanks everyone. Mind is made up "

Promise to update us all what happens please! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So hopefully this won't get too controversial.

But I have a friend (female) who has been with her boyfriend a long time.

However someone I know also knows her boyfriend. And has seen him on a dating app. He told her he was single a couple of days ago.

What would you do? The right thing is surely to tell her as she is your friend. But at the same time could get very messy. "

Is she a best friend ? And is it 100% true x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd do more with my best friend than I would with others. Generally it's wise to stay out of it. I'd probably give a general, vague guide to them to ensure that they are being fully honest with each other about trying to meet others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not your circus, not your monkeys. "

Does it directly concern you or is it actually any of your business

Keep quiet say nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever hears the phase...

Shoot the messenger

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Steer clear, it will only ever bounce back onto you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Why do you have to tell her? Tell him

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Why do you have to tell her? Tell him"

But surely he will just lie and le his way out of it. Liars lie don’t they.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Why do you have to tell her? Tell him

But surely he will just lie and le his way out of it. Liars lie don’t they. "

Weedle *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are a true friend then you need to tell her....simple as.

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

I’ve been in this situation. I called my friend (hadn’t chatted in a while) to generally ask how she was doing. She opened up saying marriage struggling, they were trying to fix things. At that point I had to tell her I’d seen a profile on tinder saying he was already single, and ready to date! He’d cheated on her before and screwed her financially so she needed to know.

I wasn’t judgemental, and she took another year to finally leave him, but she was grateful I told her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say look someone I know has sent me this and now I’ve seen it I can’t unsee it. I would hate for you to find out and know that I knew but didn’t tell you.

Do what you want with the information, I won’t judge you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why do you have to tell her? Tell him

But surely he will just lie and le his way out of it. Liars lie don’t they. "
,

Yep and he'll lie to her too if the op tells her and she confronts him. If it is him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why do you have to tell her? Tell him

But surely he will just lie and le his way out of it. Liars lie don’t they. ,

Yep and he'll lie to her too if the op tells her and she confronts him. If it is him. "

It's second hand information after all

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Thinking about it.. I would keepy trap shut.. they may live happy ever after..

Most men cheat a little

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By *eeds Horny BuggerMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Think if was me I’d like to know. I’ve been cheated on myself in the past. Your friend might be wasting her time in relationship if her boyfriend is already looking elsewhere, better to get out now. Granted not a ideal situation for you o/p tho

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Thinking about it.. I would keepy trap shut.. they may live happy ever after..

Most men cheat a little "

Do they?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The op hasn't seen him on a dating site, someone else has. I'd be very hesitant to tell a friend something I hadn't actually seen for myself. Without witnessing it personally it's just gossip, the only person I would tell would be the man himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a difficult one

Rem_mber that if they remain together you will no longer be friends.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When I was cheated on it turned my world upside down. It wasn't the cheating itself that caused me problems it was the lies, the deception and the fact other people knew and didn't tell me.

I knew in my gut it was happening but everything had an excuse, every disappearance had a "valid reason" and some of those were using mutual friends as scapegoats.

He was absolutely adamant even when I kicked him out that he hadn't cheated, that he was innocent.

15 months later the woman he WAS cheating on me with came to me cos they had split up, she told me everything, which all added up to those times I knew in my gut it was happening.

I asked her why he didn't just leave and live with her, why wait for me to kick him out?

..... "because he wanted to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out so he could be the victim"

From that point I had no idea who I could trust, I had no idea what from the last 11 years had been real and what hadn't. It knocked me badly. My confidence and trust in others hit the deck, to the point I had a full on breakdown and was off work for 9 months.

That's my story. I couldn't let someone else go through what I went through.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I can honestly say that when I worked away from home that most married men were unfaithful...

There ones who were not unfaithful were the ones who could not pull in a tug of war contest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stay out of it. None of anyone else’s business. "

Best advice right here... Plus she probably won't believe you.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Stay out of it..

Stay clear..

She doesn't want to hear it

She won't thank you..

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

"When I was cheated on it turned my world upside down. It wasn't the cheating itself that caused me problems it was the lies, the deception and the fact other people knew and didn't tell me.

I knew in my gut it was happening but everything had an excuse, every disappearance had a "valid reason" and some of those were using mutual friends as scapegoats.

He was absolutely adamant even when I kicked him out that he hadn't cheated, that he was innocent.

15 months later the woman he WAS cheating on me with came to me cos they had split up, she told me everything, which all added up to those times I knew in my gut it was happening.

I asked her why he didn't just leave and live with her, why wait for me to kick him out?

..... "because he wanted to make your life so miserable you either killed yourself or kicked him out so he could be the victim"

That's my story. I couldn't let someone else go through what I went through.

"
Yes a terrible ordeal you went through with him If he can do what he did to you no doubt he,ll do it again to someone else and perhaps more people to think people like him exist in the outside world is scary thou they have always existed it certainly shows a very dark side of the human psyche.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

The reason I was unsure about getting involved is she's a good friend and I don't want to break her heart. But I feel she deserves to know

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

The reason I was unsure about getting involved is she's a good friend and I don't want to break her heart. But I feel she deserves to know "

And make her own mind up. I'm not going to tell her to do anything. Purely just give her the info and then it's up for her/ them to work out or decide what to do.

If I tell him he will deny point blank.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I'd tell her. I wouldn't make a huge deal of it but I'd pass the info on.

If I found out a friend knew about a partner cheating but didn't tell me I don't think I could be friends with them any more.

If it's innocent (which it's not) then he can explain it.

The question I'd ask is "if she were my sister would I want someone to tell her?"

Good luck OP in whatever you decide

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

The reason I was unsure about getting involved is she's a good friend and I don't want to break her heart. But I feel she deserves to know

And make her own mind up. I'm not going to tell her to do anything. Purely just give her the info and then it's up for her/ them to work out or decide what to do.

If I tell him he will deny point blank."

how can he if you have screen shots?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

I think showing screenshots sounds really vindictive

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

I think showing screenshots sounds really vindictive "

There's nothing vindictive about it. I'm just trying to look out for a friend. Nothing more. I'm not out to ruin the relationship. But as my friend I feel she deserves to know and then make her own mind up.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

The screenshots are really just so if she does decide to act on it and the boyfriend denies then she can prove it. But again that will be her choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

I think showing screenshots sounds really vindictive

You're not exactly going to be doing anything positive for the relationship

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Again thanks for all the opinions. Night all

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Sorry just on the ones that say she won't believe me or its hearsay. I have screenshots so it's true and I have the evidence as such.

I think showing screenshots sounds really vindictive

You're not exactly going to be doing anything positive for the relationship "

No but I might for her long term future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing with fire

This could all turn around and burn you

It's none of your business it don't directly involve you

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Sure you don't have feelings for her yourself? Sounds a bit like you do.

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

As somebody who discovered by herself that her husband was cheating recently I honestly wish somebody had told me if theyd known.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Sure you don't have feelings for her yourself? Sounds a bit like you do. "

I'm sure. I actually thought he was a decent guy. And perhaps they can work it out. Not in this for myself.....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sure you don't have feelings for her yourself? Sounds a bit like you do.

I'm sure. I actually thought he was a decent guy. And perhaps they can work it out. Not in this for myself....."

you're in a difficult position. All you can do is what you think is best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just rem_mber the saying "no good deed goes unpunished".

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

op out of interest how would you react if a married or partnered woman asked to meet you from here?

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By *borofucktoyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I would rather know..nothing worse than finding out somethings been going on for months under your nose..and the longer you leave it while knowing the bigger the fall out would be if she found out you knew! If this is someone you care about then its your duty to tell her.

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By *isstonguetasticjoWoman
over a year ago

widnes

I started chattin yo someone on here the other week who was telling me some fella started chattin him up on here askin yo meet him n stuff

Wen he went on his profile reckonised his face

Turnes out the fella who has been chaatin to him is the bf of this ones good mate who he has known her since school

She loves the bobes of him lookin to move in together but he is chattin him up

Now he is the same doesnt know wether to tell her her fella is chattin him up on here,

Of which he has told her he is on here

Or does he mention to him that his gf is this ones best mate.

Im the same really n stay out of it

Even tho good mates

Its their lives to sort out

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

So glad to hear this you definitely done the right thing she deserved to know

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

I'm glad you made the right choice for you and your friend. She can go forward making an informed choice now.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

Glad you didn't listen to the 'not my business' posters.

If you have a good friend, you look out for them. That's your business.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

blimey that all happened quickly. I hope it works out ok for both of them whatever they decide to do.

One of the reasons we try to ensure that we meet genuinely single men is because we don't want to enable situations like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

Ah I’m proud of you! Well done. It’s not easy being the one to tell someone bad news, but you’re right - it was the right thing to do.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Imagine they split up and she finds out you knew and net told her , how would you feel?

For me if she’s close I’d tell her what you know and who told you , it’s about where you loyalty lies and how much of a friend you are

If you just want to stay out of it that’s fine, I’d do that if I didn't care much about the people involved

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

Ah I’m proud of you! Well done. It’s not easy being the one to tell someone bad news, but you’re right - it was the right thing to do.

I'm proud of you too, I wish I had a friend like you when I was being manipulated, deceived and told I was crazy.

I always say, I'd rather be stung by the truth than stabbed in the back by a lie.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Tell her. If you have some form of reasonable evidence (screenshot etc).

What’s worse, a difficult conversation now, or trying to support your friend through a breakup and a house sale, maybe even a divorce?

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By *anicmouseMan
over a year ago

Greater London

Just ask yourself the same question, with or without evidence, would you want to know? Theres your answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell her. If you have some form of reasonable evidence (screenshot etc).

What’s worse, a difficult conversation now, or trying to support your friend through a breakup and a house sale, maybe even a divorce? "

Perhaps he'll still have to support her through the breakup now that he has told her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want her OP

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

If she is looking to join fab for revenge sex we are happy to help out.

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By *ercedes60Man
over a year ago

waterford

She should join. Privacy is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If she is looking to join fab for revenge sex we are happy to help out. "

good answer

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

Right decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want her OP"

What makes you think he ‘wants’ her?

Because he is friends with her and showed her proof her boyfriend was cheating? You reckon he had an ulterior motive for doing this?

Maybe, just *maybe* some men are friends with women because...they enjoy their friendship! A platonic friendship! Not every man befriends women to fuck them, then moan about the ‘friend zone’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want her OP

What makes you think he ‘wants’ her?

Because he is friends with her and showed her proof her boyfriend was cheating? You reckon he had an ulterior motive for doing this?

Maybe, just *maybe* some men are friends with women because...they enjoy their friendship! A platonic friendship! Not every man befriends women to fuck them, then moan about the ‘friend zone’"

Fake news...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

Ah I’m proud of you! Well done. It’s not easy being the one to tell someone bad news, but you’re right - it was the right thing to do.

I'm proud of you too, I wish I had a friend like you when I was being manipulated, deceived and told I was crazy.

I always say, I'd rather be stung by the truth than stabbed in the back by a lie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just for those who wanted to know. Spoke to my friend and told her.

She has confronted her bf and despite initially denying he then admitted once she showed him the screenshots.

She said she really appreciated me telling her and we are all good.

What happens going forward is up to her. But definitely was the right thing to do.

You are a great friend. She is lucky to have you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a SIM card from the shop for 99p put in in your phone and send her the details she will not know it was you. She will have the proof of what he is doing

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"It's all heresay, you know nothing for sure. Dont get involved.

If you saw him on an app, then maybe you can tell her. "

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

The op built a fake dating profile to break them up, then moved in for the kill.

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"So hopefully this won't get too controversial.

But I have a friend (female) who has been with her boyfriend a long time.

However someone I know also knows her boyfriend. And has seen him on a dating app. He told her he was single a couple of days ago.

What would you do? The right thing is surely to tell her as she is your friend. But at the same time could get very messy. "

Unless you can benefit the situation, I would keep quiet.

Is it your business to get involved?

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Thanks for the nice comments guys.

appreciated.

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By *ungscotsman26 OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"You want her OP"

#troll

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"So hopefully this won't get too controversial.

But I have a friend (female) who has been with her boyfriend a long time.

However someone I know also knows her boyfriend. And has seen him on a dating app. He told her he was single a couple of days ago.

What would you do? The right thing is surely to tell her as she is your friend. But at the same time could get very messy.

Unless you can benefit the situation, I would keep quiet.

Is it your business to get involved?

Unless you can benefit from the situation

You know what? If you have absolute proof, then why turn a blind eye.

People die every day because others turn a blind eye. People get abused because others turn a blind eye.

People get taken for cunts because others turn a blind eye.

People get away with murder because others turn a blind eye.

I'm not suggesting we all start spying on our neighbours and attempt to change the world by actively looking for things to preach about or "interfere" with, but.... if we all open our eyes just a little bit wider then maybe, just maybe we can change the world for a few.

If telling someone the truth means I potentially lose a friend, well, I'd rather lose a friend and KNOW it was because I cared for them and was brave enough to stand up for their future, cos that's what you're doing when passing on the knowledge, you're standing up for them. You're giving them the information that gives them choice.

If you're mate was getting ripped off by someone financially most people would point it out, yet when people are getting ripped off emotionally is "ohhhhh fuck all to do with me lalallalalalala"

I just can't imagine going to a friends funeral and thinking to myself "awwww bless them, they dedicated their life to someone who was taking them for a fool, but at least it's over now and ya know, what they didn't know didn't hurt them. Rest in peace"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I still find it difficult to accept that the first choice in these cases is to tell the partner rather than the person themselves. What's the reasoning behind that? I know that "he will just deny it" is the stock answer but how do you know that? How can you predict how that person will react?

Also in this age of stolen identity with pictures easily available to copy how on earth is it possible to verify that it's actually that person behind the profile?

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