FabSwingers.com forum: Loneliness

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

I've seen a few threads like this popping up over the last couple of weeks and I was wondering; what do you do when you're feeling low and alone? Do you have a favourite film you like to watch or do you exercise to get those endorphins going etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put on a podcast. Usually cheers me up. But I also like my own company so dont feel lonely that often so I guess that's lucky

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By *itKerryMaleMan
over a year ago

kerry

try and stick with a daily routine

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It depends on how bad I'm feeling. If it's really bad I'll call the Samaritans or try to sleep it off. Otherwise I'll try to reach out to friends or work on my self help techniques (why I'm ok as I am combined with some sort of distraction usually)

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Exercise. Usually a long walk although i seldom get lonely as like being by myself.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Is it bad that as soon as I read the heading "loneliness" I started singing Britney bloody Spears in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get out, get busy and hug my dog. Even those surrounded by people can be lonely? Some of us live too much in our heads and not enough in the real world. I know that's easier said than done for some though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being alone is different things to different people. I have a few things that I do to keep myself busy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Sleep.

Forum.

Eat.

Cry.

Listen to an audio book.

Then start getting into healthier options for distraction.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Not feeling low, but when alone I lose myself in drawing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go out for a ride on my bike, that usually works. I’m still learning and adjusting to living alone, I don’t mind my own company, it just is lonely sometimes.

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

Walk. Headphones on and choose my music carefully. A good long walk sometimes helps.

Pre lockdown it was also the gym or the beach

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By *ngel_vs_devil33Woman
over a year ago

i’ll let you know

Usually turn the music up and get lost in singing like no one is listening, pretty much what I’m doing now,

music

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sleep, I sleep a lot when I'm down. It's the depression, so rather than sit up alone every evening I just go to sleep

I work 9-5 then I'm in bed by 7:30pm same time as the 5 year old, I try not to stay awake because my mind wanders to bad places.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually turn the music up and get lost in singing like no one is listening, pretty much what I’m doing now,

music "

What music is on atm?

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Is it bad that as soon as I read the heading "loneliness" I started singing Britney bloody Spears in my head

Not wrong, definite blast from the past though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put my all time favourite romcom - "About Last Nite" (1986, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore), crack open a bottle (or two) of Champagne, ( whatever Sainsbury's has on discount ), and sigh, lots of sighing ... because big boys don't cry.

Oh and Walking at Night like after midnight has become a huge habit lately...

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Fuck knows, probably cry

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Weirdly I feel the most lonely when surrounded by lots of people. So my normal coping mechanism is to head off to the hills for fresh air, all the better if it isn't raining and I can take a book to read on my trek too.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more. "

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you"."

100% . At stage in my life I'm fed up been the one that reaches out.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

You okay, OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you"."

Never be afraid to reach out, people are incredibly responsive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you"."

Ah, this.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who lives on their own, with no housemates, pets, partners, kids.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I put my all time favourite romcom - "About Last Nite" (1986, Rob Lowe, Demi Moore), crack open a bottle (or two) of Champagne, ( whatever Sainsbury's has on discount ), and sigh, lots of sighing ... because big boys don't cry.

Oh and Walking at Night like after midnight has become a huge habit lately..."

Rob Lowe is amazing so I'm fully behind this coping.

P.S Every one can cry. It's okay to as well.

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By *ngel_vs_devil33Woman
over a year ago

i’ll let you know

"Usually turn the music up and get lost in singing like no one is listening, pretty much what I’m doing now,

music

What music is on atm?"

Right this second it’s George Michael version of somebody to love, great for singing too,

before that was - one republic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am one of the loneliest people on the planet. I just make do and mend to get through each day.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I am one of the loneliest people on the planet. I just make do and mend to get through each day."

(((hug)))

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I sleep, I sleep a lot when I'm down. It's the depression, so rather than sit up alone every evening I just go to sleep

I work 9-5 then I'm in bed by 7:30pm same time as the 5 year old, I try not to stay awake because my mind wanders to bad places. "

Sending you hugs, I get the sleeping coping. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am one of the loneliest people on the planet. I just make do and mend to get through each day."

Hugs xx

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I go to the beach for some meditation

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you".

Ah, this.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who lives on their own, with no housemates, pets, partners, kids."

Even with the aforementioned things you can still be alone. You can always message me if you feel like that, you know that Lily x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and Walking at Night like after midnight has become a huge habit lately...

Rob Lowe is amazing so I'm fully behind this coping.

P.S Every one can cry. It's okay to as well."

Sure, I have on occasion let a tear or two flow - but it quickly turns into THAT scene from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 - where the Earl cries -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc2o1AiJx6E

hee ... also laughing does make me feel a lot better too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you".

Ah, this.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who lives on their own, with no housemates, pets, partners, kids.

Even with the aforementioned things you can still be alone. You can always message me if you feel like that, you know that Lily x"

I will bear that in mind chickie xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you"."

I would always rather be 'burdened' than not if ever anyone ever needed to talk. I can listen till the cows come home. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sleep, I sleep a lot when I'm down. It's the depression, so rather than sit up alone every evening I just go to sleep

I work 9-5 then I'm in bed by 7:30pm same time as the 5 year old, I try not to stay awake because my mind wanders to bad places. "

I also do the sleeping thing , finish work straight to bed and sleep , then your mind can’t play games and make you worse , I think of a good time in my life like a holiday and then I go off to sleep , depression is the bane of my life

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By *ightowlingWoman
over a year ago

Near Taunton

[Removed by poster at 05/07/20 19:29:57]

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By *ightowlingWoman
over a year ago

Near Taunton

Sleep or watch something brainless on Netflix. Wish I had more productive coping mechanisms! :D

Just given up on OLD so I'll be Netflix-ing sons of anarchy tonight and feeling glum, hoping the feeling has passed by tomorrow :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bike ride, walk, cook, eat, wine, read YouTube, Forum, Netflix.

I'm used to being alone as I don't have any friends nearby - only a couple of flakey family members I'm not close with.

I've made my peace with it.

Now I'm not working I do feel like I'm in Groundhog Day - and I can no longer shop because I'm broke

But at least my soul is intact and isn't being destroyed daily by a toxic environment!

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By *luemarraMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

Ive had some dark moments over the last couple of years.

The one thing that is always there is music . Love listening to it whatever my frame of mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following to get some ideas for future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm lucky in that I'm quite happy to be alone a lot of the time and do have friends locally for film nights and the like but there have been moments over the lockdown where I've missed company. Usually I watch a favourite film of TV show, binge something new, listen to some records while reading a book - that kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would always withdraw and shut myself away from people but in company put on a brave face, but now I'm older and read around self help books etc and along with my work I've developed better ways to cope when I feel down, lost or lonely. I live alone and am single but i have an amazing daughter who I am blessed to have around. I use walking and exercise to boost my mood, the endorphins definitely help. I find cooking relaxing and takes my mimd off things bothering me. I've met some lovely fab friends who are really supportive and more so than my vanilla friends to be honest. Without them the lockdown would have been difficult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a very busy house and I also enjoy my own company mostly.

I feel loneliest when I’m happiest, when I have exciting news and no one to share it with or when I’m alone and content in the evening, when some company would make it perfect... I don’t really do anything about it. Just put it to the back of my mind.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

Being alone is very different to being lonely.

I very much enjoy my own company, there’s always so much to do.

On the rare occasions I feel lonely, my solution is to call a good friend or family member.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not lonely as such for me, but more generalised low mood, i tend to put my comfort music on (old Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks) and watch films that are reassuringly familiar, like Practical Magic, Sense & Sensibility and just have a bloody good cry as and when i’m alone.

If it’s looking like it will last a few days then the latin dance music comes out and i get walking in nature.

I also scroll endlessly on Pinterest and try to read positive uplifting words, like a positive thoughts mood board kind of thing. I also have different music playlists for my different moods, which helps and like to browse spotify for new inspiration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t feel lonely but if my mood is low I like to go for a walk to clear my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sleep, I sleep a lot when I'm down. It's the depression, so rather than sit up alone every evening I just go to sleep

I work 9-5 then I'm in bed by 7:30pm same time as the 5 year old, I try not to stay awake because my mind wanders to bad places.

These!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/07/20 19:49:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sleep, I sleep a lot when I'm down. It's the depression, so rather than sit up alone every evening I just go to sleep

I work 9-5 then I'm in bed by 7:30pm same time as the 5 year old, I try not to stay awake because my mind wanders to bad places. "

Feel free to message me if you’re ever in a low place, we can discuss (argue)! as to who really is the best..Turks or Jacks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exercise.I go for a bike ride.I did one today.You feel good connect with nature and get a good night sleep.I also watch early Mel Brooks films ie Blazing sSaddles,Gene wlder/Rihard Pryor films ie Stir Crazy off-kilt!1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sleep.

Forum.

Eat.

Cry.

Listen to an audio book.

Then start getting into healthier options for distraction. "

How funny... pretty much this!

it's what I'm doing now and this made me smile.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more. "

Go sit elsewhere, listen to music, keep away from others. Check for messages umpteen times a day. Watch a film.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"Not lonely as such for me, but more generalised low mood, i tend to put my comfort music on (old Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks) and watch films that are reassuringly familiar, like Practical Magic, Sense & Sensibility and just have a bloody good cry as and when i’m alone.

If it’s looking like it will last a few days then the latin dance music comes out and i get walking in nature.

Oh I can lose time very happily on Pinterest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been 'lonely' until March this year when it felt like my world had come to an end. I've coped through most days by putting on a front with friends, family and customers to the point where I've convinced myself that its alright.

Throwing myself into DIY and helping with other peoples projects has also helped.

Sundays have been the worst, the shops closed, phones are silent, place feels empty, even facebook has stopped sending me notifications

My heart goes out to any of you that are isolating alone. I only have to deal with it one day a week and it's difficult. I can't imagine what it must be like. Willing to lend an ear or a shoulder if needed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few threads like this popping up over the last couple of weeks and I was wondering; what do you do when you're feeling low and alone? Do you have a favourite film you like to watch or do you exercise to get those endorphins going etc? "

I go swimming with endorphins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But in all seriousness I haven’t had human contact in 3 months and I’m getting a little bit fucked off with it now, there’s only so much running and cycling you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pour a glass of red, read, and have a bath.

Being lonely sometimes can be a little overwhelming, but I remind myself that nothing is worse than being lonely whilst in a relationship.

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

I don’t often get lonely preferring the company of my own old bones. There are times when I get down and I remind myself that I am blessed, that times have been harder, and that I have more friends today than I have ever had.

These last few months I have made myself more available to those people who I have come to realise are important to me. I genuinely miss the laughter of those friends and thought again about my desires to live a solitary life.

I have to come to realise that for me being lonely is a selfish act and I move forward endeavouring to be a better friend

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I don't know what this lonely thing is?! I love being on my own.

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

"I am one of the loneliest people on the planet. I just make do and mend to get through each day."
((hugs))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great thread Meli

I have a habit of going quiet and shutting myself away, get lost in my head, wallow for a bit then pick myself back and crack on. I'm trying to get better at reaching out to my friends.

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By *B 4099Man
over a year ago

North West, Outer Letterkenny area

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more.

Yeah, I do this as well. And then thoughts spiral and it all seems a lot more. It's not easy reaching out though is it? People have their own lives and you don't want to burden them with your "you".

100% . At stage in my life I'm fed up been the one that reaches out."
yep . Sometimes I don't know when to reach out because don't like to bother people so its weird, I want to help but don't want to bother people.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm never lonely, I seek solitude and am struggling massively with sharing my lockdown. I'm not sharing though because I would be the worst person to support someone so I will not be a burden.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text my bestie and it doesn't last....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sleep is the best healer and if I’m still down when I wake up, I know it’s time to dial a friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen to music think about going back on holiday to see my family in the u.s..,also go for a walk or read or go for a skate.., being on here can kill a lot of time..,not that it’s that constructive lol.,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get my walking boots on and take the dogs out into the hills around here.

And recently I have taken to kayaking

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Depends on the level of low. Fab has given me a place where I can find a boost any time by making someone smile.

If it gets bad, I have a fabulous video message from my nephew that always cheers me up. Because he is my best love

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

A good cry in solitude, or a walk in the countryside usually gets me back on an even keel. It's rare that I'll reach out to anyone as I don't like to be a burden...people have their own stuff going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The greatest showman is a game changer for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find I hide away which only compounds the loneliness more. "

Same here sadly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do enjoy my own company and need time to chill from others - even if it's only virtual - as I can get rather wired and 'high' (which can go awry and end up plummetting).

But during lockdown I have found my way into these forums to find a space just for me away from rl.

And in the last few days I've smiled - and even cracked a laugh (out loud even).

So thank you for buoying me up even if I do need a few hours break from everyone to de-wire.

(heart)

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I bake cookies while listening to happy songs.

Works most of the time.

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