FabSwingers.com forum: Monkey Madness

By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Apparently, and I can't believe it's true, in some countries, monkeys are trained to collect coconuts from trees. This rotation has been exposed and some supermarkets now refuse to stock these products.. These monkeys are exploited apparently... good call..

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Mine is trained to mix gin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I not trained at all

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 04/07/20 20:45:56]

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

[Removed by poster at 07/07/20 22:14:52]

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I not trained at all

We can change this

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

The nature of Monkey is irrepressible!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"The nature of Monkey is irrepressible!

Oh used to love that!

Pigsie has deffo got a profile on here

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

But are they really exploitrd?

They collect vocunets and get rewarded presumably with food and treats...

Same way working dogs are trained in Uk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But are they really exploitrd?

They collect vocunets and get rewarded presumably with food and treats...

Same way working dogs are trained in Uk"

I like vocunets, very tasty

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan."

But the wasps die?

If the bees died would everyone be happy?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan.

But the wasps die?

If the bees died would everyone be happy?"

No, everyone loves honey bees, that would be a complete disaster! Plus then I wouldn't be able to buy almonds either.

Fig wasps do die when pollinating figs. The fig then digests the wasp, so strictly speaking it's not vegan. It's the subject of a bit of debate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fig wasps do die when pollinating figs. The fig then digests the wasp, so strictly speaking it's not vegan. It's the subject of a bit of debate"

If wasps die naturally what's the problem? Or are figs carnivores?

Vegans should worry more about the silent screams root vegetables give off when pulled from the ground

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan.

But the wasps die?

If the bees died would everyone be happy?

No, everyone loves honey bees, that would be a complete disaster! Plus then I wouldn't be able to buy almonds either.

Fig wasps do die when pollinating figs. The fig then digests the wasp, so strictly speaking it's not vegan. It's the subject of a bit of debate."

What's to debate.. figs are delicious but I find it hard to decide when they are ripe or over ripe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If vegans love animals so much why are they eating all their food

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"If vegans love animals so much why are they eating all their food

Maybe they aren't vegan because they love animals. Maybe they just really hate vegetables and love a bit of veg cruelty?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If vegans love animals so much why are they eating all their food

Maybe they aren't vegan because they love animals. Maybe they just really hate vegetables and love a bit of veg cruelty?"

Damned cunning

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan."

Funnily enough bees are a bit of a contentious issue with vegans they argue over whether its right or not to eat honey

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By *ovestrap69TV/TS
over a year ago

Croydon

This has been going on for years.

And it's not just humans and no keys that are co depending on each other. This happens in nature as well.

Next supermarkets will stop stocking honey. Seeing all fruits come from the hard work of bees maybe we should stop eating fruits.

Some fish too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan."

The complainant may not be an almond but it sounds like they may be some kind of nut

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Who trained Soldier Ants, surely that's exploitation at the lowest level

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had trained dogs to bring back shot pheasants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its pure hypocrisy. Its not as if they are breeding them to eat them... Like we do with cows and sheep.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Apparently, and I can't believe it's true, in some countries, monkeys are trained to collect coconuts from trees. This rotation has been exposed and some supermarkets now refuse to stock these products.. These monkeys are exploited apparently... good call..

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too.."

Where did you find this little gem? Was it a credible source? Or just another nutty story?

I suppose their pay must be peanuts..

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Some of our supermarkets now don't source their coconut products from places using monkeys to harvest them.

They are often caught from the wild as babies, stay chained up and miss out on the normal development stages that these young apes need for their wellbeing.

Other monkeys have been used through to recent times closer to home, in ways such as photographers props, that are now banned.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Some of our supermarkets now don't source their coconut products from places using monkeys to harvest them.

They are often caught from the wild as babies, stay chained up and miss out on the normal development stages that these young apes need for their wellbeing.

Other monkeys have been used through to recent times closer to home, in ways such as photographers props, that are now banned. "

Pg tips adverts? Performing circus monkeys presumably too?

It's a funny old world... Much rather train a 7 year old kid to climb trees and work 18 hour days instead.

I can feel a hashtag coming on.

Honestly not taking a shot at vegans here as I know very little about it. But...if they won't eat something that has arrived on their table as a result of animal (or fish or insect?) activity in its production.... How can they then eat stuff that a human has harvested, packaged and prepared?

And I'd hazard a guess that whatever the point is... That Boris is to blame.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

monkey looks in on this forum, but decides to return to his coconut collection activities

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"monkey looks in on this forum, but decides to return to his coconut collection activities

No poop throwing?

Disappointed......

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"monkey looks in on this forum, but decides to return to his coconut collection activities

No poop throwing?

Disappointed......

Can't mix coconut with poop... customers can't be somewhat picky

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"monkey looks in on this forum, but decides to return to his coconut collection activities

No poop throwing?

Disappointed......

Can't mix coconut with poop... customers can be somewhat picky"

Goddamm them and their finicky ways......

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Me and my colleagues are still working on our typing activities outside of coconut picking.

Apparently "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I not trained at all

We can change this

I was just thinking that

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Me and my colleagues are still working on our typing activities outside of coconut picking.

Apparently "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times""

Alas poor Yorick.....potato.

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

"I not trained at all

Maybe you just need a suitable incentive to perform

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, this sounds like I'm taking the mick but I promise you I'm not.

In work I buy a lot of almonds. Some of them get used in vegan products, and I had to approach the vegan society after we had a customer complaint, to make sure almonds are actually vegan.

The nuts I buy are mostly from California. In spring beekeepers put their hives on the back of lorries and drive them to the almond orchards, where they release the bees to pollinate the plants.

The complaint basically said that bee labour was used in the growing process, so we shouldn't be calling it vegan.

I have an email on file from the vegan society basically telling me not to be so bloody ridiculous. It's the maddest complaint I've ever been asked to investigate!

I have another one about figs but that's not so clear cut because the wasps actually die so there's a legitimate case there to say they aren't vegan.

But the wasps die?

If the bees died would everyone be happy?

No, everyone loves honey bees, that would be a complete disaster! Plus then I wouldn't be able to buy almonds either.

Fig wasps do die when pollinating figs. The fig then digests the wasp, so strictly speaking it's not vegan. It's the subject of a bit of debate."

Oh sounds a bit gruesome. Will there still be wasp in my fig rolls?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was interesting to watch the cormorants fishing in china too, they dont look overly impressed by the whole thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This has been going on for years.

And it's not just humans and no keys that are co depending on each other. This happens in nature as well.

Next supermarkets will stop stocking honey. Seeing all fruits come from the hard work of bees maybe we should stop eating fruits.

Some fish too. "

Some fish should stop eating fruits?

Or we should stop eating some fish?

Is it the fruit eating fish we should avoid?

This is all very confusing

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"This has been going on for years.

And it's not just humans and no keys that are co depending on each other. This happens in nature as well.

Next supermarkets will stop stocking honey. Seeing all fruits come from the hard work of bees maybe we should stop eating fruits.

Some fish too.

Some fish should stop eating fruits?

Or we should stop eating some fish?

Is it the fruit eating fish we should avoid?

This is all very confusing

I've just stopped eating, seems easier....

Although my ever expanding waistline belies the untruth of that statement.....

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Is horse riding exploitation ?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Is police dogging exploitation?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Dogs for the blind. Is that exploitation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is horse riding exploitation ?"

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Is police dogging exploitation?

I would think it's just as risky as normal dogging

But then who will drive into the car park to stop them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is police dogging exploitation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dogs for the blind. Is that exploitation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is police dogging exploitation?

Police dogging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dogs for the blind. Is that exploitation?

No, definitely not

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

So monkeys getting coconuts...what's the issue,

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

well... from a personal viewpoint... no breaks, a lack of PPE and less than minimum wage

You wouldn't treat a monkey like that... oh .. wait ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well... from a personal viewpoint... no breaks, a lack of PPE and less than minimum wage

You wouldn't treat a monkey like that... oh .. wait ...

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"well... from a personal viewpoint... no breaks, a lack of PPE and less than minimum wage

You wouldn't treat a monkey like that... oh .. wait ...

Less than minimum wage ?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"well... from a personal viewpoint... no breaks, a lack of PPE and less than minimum wage

You wouldn't treat a monkey like that... oh .. wait ...

Less than minimum wage ?"

Current minimum wage is £8.72 for over 25s ... now how do you show the age of a monkey ... is it like dogs? So many monkey years to an actual year?

Yes ... fed and provided accommodation ... but how does this monkey feed my gambling habit ... place your bets peoples

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too.."

I do hope you are not being serious.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too"

Oh bless you Tom..you always give me something to laugh about!!

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too

Oh bless you Tom..you always give me something to laugh about!!

Monkey exploitation is serious..

And from that we should consider others..

Donkeys on the beach ?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too

Oh bless you Tom..you always give me something to laugh about!!

Monkey exploitation is serious..

And from that we should consider others..

Donkeys on the beach ?"

Oh yes ... people taking advantage of me .... sigh

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

People are not taking this serious

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"People are not taking this serious "

Being a monkey ... I am taking it entirely serious

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I saw a clip of a little monkey on a tiny motorbike. The monkey sped towards a toddler and before you know it jumped off the tiny bike and grabbed the toddler....he dragged her along. She was only saved because her dad was quick and grabbed hold of her and dragged her back!!

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"People are not taking this serious "

Nope!

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

"I saw a clip of a little monkey on a tiny motorbike. The monkey sped towards a toddler and before you know it jumped off the tiny bike and grabbed the toddler....he dragged her along. She was only saved because her dad was quick and grabbed hold of her and dragged her back!!

I couldn't believe my eyes!!"

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning "

Monkey lives matter!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Monkeys lives matter!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Monkeys lives matter!

Right on

That's what I said

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too"

How do you get consent from animals?,

Guide dogs are breed for the job and if they don't enjoy it or not able to do it, don't complete the training.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

Monkey lives matter!!"

Monkey Magic!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

Monkey lives matter!!

Monkey Magic!"

I shall ride off on my pink cloud if people don't take me seriously

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

Monkey lives matter!!

Monkey Magic!

I shall ride off on my pink cloud if people don't take me seriously

Will you do that finger-blowing thing as well?

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

But are they exploited... The dogs who are discarded...

Put down presumably....lots of failed police dogs are too aggressive to re-home I fear

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

Monkey lives matter!!

Monkey Magic!

I shall ride off on my pink cloud if people don't take me seriously

Will you do that finger-blowing thing as well? "

That bitch of a shaolin monk tries doing that to control me ... and make me pick coconuts

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I hope police dogs and guide dogs are released from their exploitation too..

I do hope you are not being serious.

I am serious... They are not consenting animals.

And horseriders an issue too"

Horse riders don't consent to riding their horses?

Neigh...

Not having it Tom..

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Neigh ?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I couldn't believe my eyes!!

They can be evil buggers...

Thank you for the warning

Monkey lives matter!!

Monkey Magic!

I shall ride off on my pink cloud if people don't take me seriously

Will you do that finger-blowing thing as well?

That bitch of a shaolin monk tries doing that to control me ... and make me pick coconuts"

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"But are they exploited... The dogs who are discarded...

Put down presumably....lots of failed police dogs are too aggressive to re-home I fear"

No guide dogs and police dogs are rehomed.

Police dogs work on command words to be aggressive, when rehomed the new owner is told the word, guide dogs have command words too that the new owner uses.

You can apply to rehome ex police, forces or guide dogs usually they stay with their handler but not always.

Please don't make assumptions and post.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Monkeys lives matter!

What about hedgehogs

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Monkeys lives matter!

What about hedgehogs

Pricks... the lot of them!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Monkeys lives matter!

What about hedgehogs

They were next on my list!

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

What about Cat exploitation?

Mine are terrible, they are cruel masters who exploit me without mercy!

I can't write more, they're watching me.....

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Monkeys lives matter!

What about hedgehogs

They were next on my list!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Monkeys picking coconuts?

Every time I've seen a monkey in a zoo it's picking it's nose or it's arse.

There's no sign of coconuts.....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"What about Cat exploitation?

Mine are terrible, they are cruel masters who exploit me without mercy!

I can't write more, they're watching me....."

I had a cat just like that

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Monkeys picking coconuts?

Every time I've seen a monkey in a zoo it's picking it's nose or it's arse.

There's no sign of coconuts.....

Such stereotyping!!!!

I shall randomly throw poop in protest

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Monkeys picking coconuts?

Every time I've seen a monkey in a zoo it's picking it's nose or it's arse.

There's no sign of coconuts.....

Such stereotyping!!!!

I shall randomly throw poop in protest "

Can monkey poop be used for the roses; I know you can use horse plop......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya just can’t beat a cheeky monkey x

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

"Ya just can’t beat a cheeky monkey x"

Beating a monkey ... that WOULD be animal cruelty

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Ya just can’t beat a cheeky monkey x

Beating a monkey ... that WOULD be animal cruelty"

What if a coconut fell on the monkeys head, do they have hard hats?

What if they fall out of the tree, do they wear a fall arrest harness?

There's been no mention of Risk Assessments, Method Statements, Emergency Procedures. It's bloody shocking!!!!!!

I think the H & S Executive should hear about this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is trained to stay out of the kitchen.

He’s self trained.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Some of our supermarkets now don't source their coconut products from places using monkeys to harvest them.

They are often caught from the wild as babies, stay chained up and miss out on the normal development stages that these young apes need for their wellbeing.

Other monkeys have been used through to recent times closer to home, in ways such as photographers props, that are now banned.

Pg tips adverts? Performing circus monkeys presumably too?

It's a funny old world... Much rather train a 7 year old kid to climb trees and work 18 hour days instead.

I can feel a hashtag coming on.

And I'd hazard a guess that whatever the point is... That Boris is to blame. "

We've lived without many things, including out of season vegetables as well as what doesn't grow in our climate.

There are other options to harvesting than using animals cruelly, or to use child labour. Implements, climbing supports, growing crops that are easier to harvest etc.

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Not sure about the child labour think. When I was a lad you could work at 16. Now it seems they are wrapped in cotton wool. I think 14 in some jobs is still ok and especially if working in a family business to learn the ropes

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