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Not for the cliques!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you thought of trying to develop strategies that might help you to see things as less of a big deal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long have you been using forum? Are you referring to being ignored via pm or your forum comments?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I always try to be welcoming an pfp would really help you just mingle there is someone here for everyone have fun

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

There are lots of folk on the forum who are welcoming to new posters. I'd suggest a profile pic might help however

No one finds it easy talking to a shadow. Join in a challenge or discussion. Don't push just participate

It'll happen x

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By *ugRollersCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I’ve never been aware of any cliques? I don’t come here often though don’t give up the only way to break any so called cliques is to have random input

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't matter how long you have been here, how popular or otherwise sometimes you don't get noticed on a thread and that's just the nature of it. They move fast and sometimes it's hard to reply to everyone.

I understand how that can then manifest for you when you are struggling though. I hope you're getting some support?

Unfortunately fab tends to require you to have a bit of a thick skin sometimes and that can be hard..

I hope you're OK x

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks.."

Oh bugger, I just responded to you on my poetry thread, am I a total dick?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

You're not the only one who feels this way. I guess some threads are like walking into a house party where everyone knows eachother for years and you're the stranger that noone has time to talk to.. They wrapped up in their own conversation. But there's always one person that might say hello to be polite and friendly. Put a fun avatar and join in with the chat. Don't worry if noone replies. Most people don't unless they know that person or just wana reply with a negative comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only been on 9 weeks, i just joined in, sure some comments get missed, and you may think you have been ignored, but it happens to everyone, Also have to remember alot of the folks on here have met at socials and stuff, and are close friends, personally I don't think its Cliquey, try putting some sort of pic up for a start, doesn't have to be your face. Just join in on the threads, i have found everyone on here more than welcoming, and im a scot

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By *entcouple69Couple
over a year ago

London/Kent

As we’re newbies in terms of the forum side of the site, I completely get it. It does seem very much like that.

In terms of your PTSD, have you sought help it? I know it can be a really difficult thing to really get to grips with and try to own

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you everyone, it's good advice, I never thought about the shadow in fab, only the ones I struggle with! Yes, I am getting a lot of support from Veteran's groups and am taking meds. I feel better connected already!

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming "

DJ posted on the nocturnal thread I just responded him

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I am part of the clique and I still get ignored!

That’s life.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I am part of the clique and I still get ignored!

That’s life. "

Who said that???

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"You're not the only one who feels this way. I guess some threads are like walking into a house party where everyone knows eachother for years and you're the stranger that noone has time to talk to.. They wrapped up in their own conversation. But there's always one person that might say hello to be polite and friendly. Put a fun avatar and join in with the chat. Don't worry if noone replies. Most people don't unless they know that person or just wana reply with a negative comment. "

This, theres the forum games section as well

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

It's good to try and it can be a valuable source of support and connection. But I would say that if it begins to affect you adversely maybe think about stepping back. But as you have said, you are feeling more positive so let's hope that continues. Sorry I don't have any actual tips. Good luck op.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"You're not the only one who feels this way. I guess some threads are like walking into a house party where everyone knows eachother for years and you're the stranger that noone has time to talk to.. They wrapped up in their own conversation. But there's always one person that might say hello to be polite and friendly. Put a fun avatar and join in with the chat. Don't worry if noone replies. Most people don't unless they know that person or just wana reply with a negative comment.

This, theres the forum games section as well "

Yeah even with games, there's always someone who wants to be negative. But the serious minded people need to remember games are just icebreakers to get to know eachother, we all can't stay PC in everything to say on forums... or can we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

DJ posted on the nocturnal thread I just responded him "

I didnt read all the comments. Off to say hello there too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am part of the clique and I still get ignored!

That’s life. "

Your like the invisible man! One minute you're there next! Poofd! Vamoose!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks.."

Nice to meet you. Just jump on in posts that tickle your pickle and have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no clique.

Just well established forum users. I suppose I'm one of them and I mostly get fucking ignored on here

Don't take it personally. Threads can move quickly and it's easy to overlook or miss someone's comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks..

Nice to meet you. Just jump on in posts that tickle your pickle and have fun! "

best way to be just jump in be pleasent and have a chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to be adept at killing threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This place is pretty cliquey. Stop giving a fuck. Have your fun. (Don't be a dick).

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks.."

Totally full of cliques but just do your own thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks.."

I find this a lot. Though the clique will swear they're not cliquey

I've been on and off fab for over a decade and it's always been the same

You could always post your own threads

Saira x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"There is no clique.

Just well established forum users. I suppose I'm one of them and I mostly get fucking ignored on here

Don't take it personally. Threads can move quickly and it's easy to overlook or miss someone's comment.

"

No one would ignore you or those thighs.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Welcome to the forums OP

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Thank you everyone, it's good advice, I never thought about the shadow in fab, only the ones I struggle with! Yes, I am getting a lot of support from Veteran's groups and am taking meds. I feel better connected already!

Thank you!"

Glad to hear that you feel better connected.

As many have advised above, a profile pic would be a good thing.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is. "

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is. "

I still think that there isn’t a clique. Some just bounce of each other more than others.

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique "

Lol do a thread jasmine

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"You're not the only one who feels this way. I guess some threads are like walking into a house party where everyone knows eachother for years and you're the stranger that noone has time to talk to.. They wrapped up in their own conversation. But there's always one person that might say hello to be polite and friendly. Put a fun avatar and join in with the chat. Don't worry if noone replies. Most people don't unless they know that person or just wana reply with a negative comment.

This, theres the forum games section as well

Yeah even with games, there's always someone who wants to be negative. But the serious minded people need to remember games are just icebreakers to get to know eachother, we all can't stay PC in everything to say on forums... or can we? "

That is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad to hear you are getting support with your PTSD OP, and I do hope the meds work for you soon.

I also have PTSD and before lockdown was having EMDR therapy on the NHS, have you enquired about that? It's really good.

Also try not to worry about the clique, I often get ignored too but join in anyway haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

"

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks..

I find this a lot. Though the clique will swear they're not cliquey

I've been on and off fab for over a decade and it's always been the same

You could always post your own threads

Saira x

"

The clique just talk amongst themselves and dominate threads. But there are threads where everyone makes positive input and have great discussions. OP, just choose the right threads to chat to friendly and non self-centred people. I'm sure there's many fabbers like that on the forum. Good luck

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?

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By *iggle 321Man
over a year ago

pR

Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique

Lol do a thread jasmine "

yes I don't mind getting trolled and create a thread. I enjoy talking about the craziness of fab

But are the clique going to recognise themselves as a clique and resist commenting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're not the only one who feels this way. I guess some threads are like walking into a house party where everyone knows eachother for years and you're the stranger that noone has time to talk to.. They wrapped up in their own conversation. But there's always one person that might say hello to be polite and friendly. Put a fun avatar and join in with the chat. Don't worry if noone replies. Most people don't unless they know that person or just wana reply with a negative comment.

This, theres the forum games section as well

Yeah even with games, there's always someone who wants to be negative. But the serious minded people need to remember games are just icebreakers to get to know eachother, we all can't stay PC in everything to say on forums... or can we? "

... no, one cannot!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Glad to hear you are getting support with your PTSD OP, and I do hope the meds work for you soon.

I also have PTSD and before lockdown was having EMDR therapy on the NHS, have you enquired about that? It's really good.

Also try not to worry about the clique, I often get ignored too but join in anyway haha "

You are very kind, EMDR won't work for me, I am far too gone. I did a course of propanonal and it worked wonders! Stopped screaming in the night in night terrors! There is a trial in Holland that is amazing for treatment of PTSD, have a look?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?"

None of the above!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily "

What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online?

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?"

Has anyone ever got a sympathy shag from a thread? I didn't think that worked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online? "

If you're worried you're in a clique, call it in.

See something, say something.

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique

Lol do a thread jasmine

yes I don't mind getting trolled and create a thread. I enjoy talking about the craziness of fab

But are the clique going to recognise themselves as a clique and resist commenting? "

I wouldn’t want you putting something up and being trolled because of it hun, so probably best not to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is. "

If cliques exist, there are at least six and they battle.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's really great that you want to join in.

It does depend sometimes on the threads you are commenting on.

Some threads almost everyone get to responded to because that's the nature of the threas, Others it depends whether you said something but somebody feels the need to reply to.

Try and look out for threads that are more "chatty".

I'm biassed (hes my significant

other) but hotAsh tends to do threads where everyone is replied to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?"

How rude and unnecessary

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)"

Hey...I dont stalk your arse...you told me to finger it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)

Hey...I dont stalk your arse...you told me to finger it "

Only fair you allow me the same privilege....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?

How rude and unnecessary "

I thought that, and I thought that too.....

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By *iggle 321Man
over a year ago

pR


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?"

This is what you are up against! Unbelievable way to reply to someone.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily

What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online? "

Jokes between themselves which only they understand. Only commenting on each others comments. Ignoring other posters. Backing up each other's opinions even when it's not even necessary. Taking a negative or abrupt approach to others. Some of these are just part and parcel of close connections being developed and might even be subconscious in manifestation but it's there.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?

How rude and unnecessary "

Agreed.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)

Hey...I dont stalk your arse...you told me to finger it

Only fair you allow me the same privilege.... "

If I must....go on then, but only 1 finger. I won't be your glove puppet

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily

What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online? Jokes between themselves which only they understand. Only commenting on each others comments. Ignoring other posters. Backing up each other's opinions even when it's not even necessary. Taking a negative or abrupt approach to others. Some of these are just part and parcel of close connections being developed and might even be subconscious in manifestation but it's there. "

Very true.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses


"Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily

What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online? Jokes between themselves which only they understand. Only commenting on each others comments. Ignoring other posters. Backing up each other's opinions even when it's not even necessary. Taking a negative or abrupt approach to others. Some of these are just part and parcel of close connections being developed and might even be subconscious in manifestation but it's there. "

.

He said it! So many on here are just damn rude

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?

This is what you are up against! Unbelievable way to reply to someone. "

Sometimes there are just no words...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?

How rude and unnecessary

Agreed. "

What they said.

OP you will often get this sort of thing pop up but just ignore it and they get bored.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

It is difficult at times, especially if you're used to other fora where there is more of a community vibe.

Just keep chipping away, 99% of the time I get ignored but I give not the tiniest of shiny shites - if I've something to say I'm going to say it and every so often someone will respond!

Every so often there's a thread which is an ice-breaker deal, pm a question and answer in the forum. I've had loads of great conversations from that with people I probably wouldn't have interacted with otherwise.

The other ones are Trangirl's threads: normally they're titled "you'll receive a lovely message at X o'clock" or the other one I like is pay someone a compliment. It's just an excuse to say something nice to someone or pay them a compliment via PM. Again, had some great interactions off the back of those (met someone off the back of one of those too ).

The forum is a bit of fun, take it for what it is and if you're not having fun find a different way to use it until you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)

Hey...I dont stalk your arse...you told me to finger it

Only fair you allow me the same privilege....

If I must....go on then, but only 1 finger. I won't be your glove puppet "

You my love are NOT allowed to leave!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique

Lol do a thread jasmine

yes I don't mind getting trolled and create a thread. I enjoy talking about the craziness of fab

But are the clique going to recognise themselves as a clique and resist commenting? "

With that last point, it is indeed true that Cliques do exist. But it's likely that those involved haven't even realised they're part of the problem. That is until tonight.

In the 12 years I've been here, I've noticed cliques come and go; they rise up then fall by the wayside, especially as people arrive and leave all the time.

To anyone "outside of the clique", I can see how some people might _iew it that way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really enjoy the Forums and will comment on a thread that I’ve got an interest in. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes I’m totally ignored but I’ve learned not to let that bother me anymore.

Occasionally it’s possible to make some really nice connections through the forums which is great.

OP, use the forums the way that works best for you and they can be quite enjoyable x

Miss V

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really enjoy the Forums and will comment on a thread that I’ve got an interest in. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes I’m totally ignored but I’ve learned not to let that bother me anymore.

Occasionally it’s possible to make some really nice connections through the forums which is great.

OP, use the forums the way that works best for you and they can be quite enjoyable x

Miss V"

This is very true.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

OP always be yourself and have your own opinion xxx

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

I just clicked on the crumpet thread. Typical example of a clique. They're all talking about crumpets and nothing else. I tried to get a bit of muffin chat in there. They weren't having it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just clicked on the crumpet thread. Typical example of a clique. They're all talking about crumpets and nothing else. I tried to get a bit of muffin chat in there. They weren't having it. "

Oh you, you keep your muffins to yourself.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

I think lots of good responses here OP.

There are lots of playful, inclusive threads. Look out for them.

We all post and don't get a response often.

There are people who know eachother and just want to bounce off eachother .. that's fine too isn't it? It's not deliberately to exclude others. That's just one way of looking at it.

Keep posting, create your own threads, join in. I found the forums and just butted in regardless. Made some lovely friends. It will happen if you want it too xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just clicked on the crumpet thread. Typical example of a clique. They're all talking about crumpets and nothing else. I tried to get a bit of muffin chat in there. They weren't having it. "

I know you're kitten about the bakery items, but often an innocent private joke shared publicly can be _iewed by some as a clique, just because they don't get it or find it funny, but why should ppl not be themselves? If you want to get on in a place like this you need to first of all be good at it, be resilient and put the time in. Otherwise you're pissing in the wind and before you know it writing whinging threads asking for sympathy. As much as I feel ppls pain, what were they actually expecting when they signed up? - free fanny and unlimited acceptance....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hear you. My advice is try to be you and have some fun along the way. Don't take things too personally and try not to overthink! Good luck!

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Op. your background and training may have lead you to expect that when people are in the same place they share the same purpose at some level. However - this is Fab. We are the people that military leaders fear every time conscription is mooted. Give everyone here a weapon and some would run away, some would take it apart and throw the pieces at each other and the rest would see how they could have sex with it.

The forum reflects that - its value is that it puts thoughts and ideas in front of very different people. That difference is its biggest asset and challenge. You will get all kinds of responses, including none at all for as many reasons as you can imagine. TBH Most of them will be to do with sex, getting it, not getting it, believing everyone else is getting it etc but nothing to do with you.

Know yourself. Make your comments because you feel they should be said - whether they add balance, counterpoint an argument or simply add entertainment. Don't look at it for validation or ego boost or to make someone like you, and sure as shit don't NOT make a comment because you don't know them. For all you know Brenda (Lonely housewife from kidderminster) is actually Clive (Hairy arsed trucker from Cleethorpes). Your opinion is worth as much as anyones.

Final point. When feeling shite. Remember that even in dysfunctional places like this, there are still real people behind the keyboards - hopefully clothed - willing to chew the cud and perhaps give a bit of time in response to a problem honestly shared.

Happy Fabbing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^ post from _ecretlives pretty much covers it OP. Thank you for taking the time to share that. Will be informative and helpful to the green arrow followers. Enjoyed reading it and my thoughts are exactly the same so no need to add anything else like I have done on this issue/concern that so many Fabbers experience/feel.

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By *exyCouple999Couple
over a year ago

South Bucks


"It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?"

Love the passive/aggressive response from a Mod... seriously ! I'll await my ban.Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?

Love the passive/aggressive response from a Mod... seriously ! I'll await my ban.Lol

"

How is that passive aggressive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?

Love the passive/aggressive response from a Mod... seriously ! I'll await my ban.Lol

How is that passive aggressive?"

Who's Miss Maple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a lot of people who try and include new people. There's always talk about a cliche

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?

Love the passive/aggressive response from a Mod... seriously ! I'll await my ban.Lol

How is that passive aggressive?

Who's Miss Maple?"

Huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It can seem like that but there are quite a lot of people who try to ensure they include everyone.

Have you joined in many threads?

Love the passive/aggressive response from a Mod... seriously ! I'll await my ban.Lol

How is that passive aggressive?

Who's Miss Maple?

Huh?"

Exactly.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

OP I'm sorry you feel like that. Just think about this thread though and how you won't feel the need to respond to every comment. Many you read and appreciate but have nothing to add to. It doesn't mean you haven't read and appreciated the comment though .

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Are you looking for a sympathetic shag?

Someone to talk to?

Or councillors?"

Not sure how the council will help to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, give me a yell. I also suffer with PTSD

18 years service here but with the crabs! (You’ll understand that one lol)

I’ll stick with you and introduce you to some amazing people (can’t promise I’ll get you laid though!!)

Have faith and just join in the banter and loving the picture!

Kat x

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Im pretty new (this time round) and you can feel a bit invisible at times, new kid at school lol but think you just have to comment on posts that interest you and keep trying, good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP I'm sorry you feel like that. Just think about this thread though and how you won't feel the need to respond to every comment. Many you read and appreciate but have nothing to add to. It doesn't mean you haven't read and appreciated the comment though . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always left out and rarely even seen, not for long though... lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP, how you feeling today? Ready to jump onto hundreds of threads? Although I know nothing of your condition, the few comments you’ve made about ‘being too far gone’ aren’t very positive and maybe you really need to sort that out first and get some help? These times aren’t easy for any of us but talking and therapy are always good.

I reckon Fab forums are like walking into your local pub. There are groups all over the place of people that get in with each other. Some are welcoming to new faces some aren’t. Some people move from group to group, some sit in the corner and watch. Some don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all about deciding which type you are and/or deciding which groups you like the look of. Good luck, it’s never easy but definitely doable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just clicked on the crumpet thread. Typical example of a clique. They're all talking about crumpets and nothing else. I tried to get a bit of muffin chat in there. They weren't having it. "

I know..

I would of stood out saying I have jam on mine!

Lol

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Hey OP, how you feeling today? Ready to jump onto hundreds of threads? Although I know nothing of your condition, the few comments you’ve made about ‘being too far gone’ aren’t very positive and maybe you really need to sort that out first and get some help? These times aren’t easy for any of us but talking and therapy are always good.

I reckon Fab forums are like walking into your local pub. There are groups all over the place of people that get in with each other. Some are welcoming to new faces some aren’t. Some people move from group to group, some sit in the corner and watch. Some don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all about deciding which type you are and/or deciding which groups you like the look of. Good luck, it’s never easy but definitely doable "

this.

D.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I'm always left out and rarely even seen, not for long though... lol "

You need to stop wearing that invisibility cloak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm always left out and rarely even seen, not for long though... lol

You need to stop wearing that invisibility cloak "

I almost posted exactly the same thing. It was better coming from you though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get out while you still can!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get what he means about cliques in the forums, but most annoying is the people who come in with sarcastic comments to put an OP down.I think we should have some sticky threads in the forum or something to stop threads where NEW guys ask for tips on their profIle, as that can attract those sarcastic (alongside helpful) comments.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I get what he means about cliques in the forums, but most annoying is the people who come in with sarcastic comments to put an OP down.I think we should have some sticky threads in the forum or something to stop threads where NEW guys ask for tips on their profIle, as that can attract those sarcastic (alongside helpful) comments."

The swinging support and advice forum is a good place to post for profile advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't matter how long you have been here, how popular or otherwise sometimes you don't get noticed on a thread and that's just the nature of it. They move fast and sometimes it's hard to reply to everyone.

I understand how that can then manifest for you when you are struggling though. I hope you're getting some support?

Unfortunately fab tends to require you to have a bit of a thick skin sometimes and that can be hard..

I hope you're OK x"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get what he means about cliques in the forums, but most annoying is the people who come in with sarcastic comments to put an OP down.I think we should have some sticky threads in the forum or something to stop threads where NEW guys ask for tips on their profIle, as that can attract those sarcastic (alongside helpful) comments.

The swinging support and advice forum is a good place to post for profile advice "

True but there's a lot of threads and not so easy to find. Some sticky ones could help, or an email to new users with helpful forum threads to inform their profiles, behaviour, etc.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"Hey OP, how you feeling today? Ready to jump onto hundreds of threads? Although I know nothing of your condition, the few comments you’ve made about ‘being too far gone’ aren’t very positive and maybe you really need to sort that out first and get some help? These times aren’t easy for any of us but talking and therapy are always good.

I reckon Fab forums are like walking into your local pub. There are groups all over the place of people that get in with each other. Some are welcoming to new faces some aren’t. Some people move from group to group, some sit in the corner and watch. Some don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all about deciding which type you are and/or deciding which groups you like the look of. Good luck, it’s never easy but definitely doable

this.

D."

Double this.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"Hey OP, how you feeling today? Ready to jump onto hundreds of threads? Although I know nothing of your condition, the few comments you’ve made about ‘being too far gone’ aren’t very positive and maybe you really need to sort that out first and get some help? These times aren’t easy for any of us but talking and therapy are always good.

I reckon Fab forums are like walking into your local pub. There are groups all over the place of people that get in with each other. Some are welcoming to new faces some aren’t. Some people move from group to group, some sit in the corner and watch. Some don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s all about deciding which type you are and/or deciding which groups you like the look of. Good luck, it’s never easy but definitely doable

this.

D.

Double this. "

I add that as you keep coming back to the pub who get to know more and more of the people and then it just becomes your local.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally find the people on the forums are the nicer people on fab and are also here for you if your having a bad day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I generally find the people on the forums are the nicer people on fab and are also here for you if your having a bad day "

I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there are formites who have been here donkeys years so they will appear very closed off, there are threads that get posted 'who has the best arse' and it will always be the same people mentioned, its just how it is and learn not to go on those threads, when I was a regular user on here and was single 'bam!' I was popular! Then add you in as a couple 'bam!' Not so much!

Choose the threads you feel likely to be included in, I stay away from the hotlist, say something nice about the poster above etc threads because (unless its changed massively in a year) its always the same people appearing to lamp post piss, its not you are being ignored, its like being at school: for example you have the group of hot people who won't talk to the ones who are slightly different, who don't look drop dead gorgeous etc, then you got the threads that are designed for 'dad bods' (my fave) and you will probably find a whole lot of people you never really see post.

I learnt along time ago that you wont fit into all groups on here and you have to find your niche.

That said, I love the forums and I always come back as if it wasn't for here, I wouldn't be laying next to my dad bod welding, snoring husband of just over 2 years!

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"there are formites who have been here donkeys years so they will appear very closed off, there are threads that get posted 'who has the best arse' and it will always be the same people mentioned, its just how it is and learn not to go on those threads, when I was a regular user on here and was single 'bam!' I was popular! Then add you in as a couple 'bam!' Not so much!

Choose the threads you feel likely to be included in, I stay away from the hotlist, say something nice about the poster above etc threads because (unless its changed massively in a year) its always the same people appearing to lamp post piss, its not you are being ignored, its like being at school: for example you have the group of hot people who won't talk to the ones who are slightly different, who don't look drop dead gorgeous etc, then you got the threads that are designed for 'dad bods' (my fave) and you will probably find a whole lot of people you never really see post.

I learnt along time ago that you wont fit into all groups on here and you have to find your niche.

That said, I love the forums and I always come back as if it wasn't for here, I wouldn't be laying next to my dad bod welding, snoring husband of just over 2 years!

Danish x"

Love your profile name! I'll have one of each

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"there are formites who have been here donkeys years so they will appear very closed off, there are threads that get posted 'who has the best arse' and it will always be the same people mentioned, its just how it is and learn not to go on those threads, when I was a regular user on here and was single 'bam!' I was popular! Then add you in as a couple 'bam!' Not so much!

Choose the threads you feel likely to be included in, I stay away from the hotlist, say something nice about the poster above etc threads because (unless its changed massively in a year) its always the same people appearing to lamp post piss, its not you are being ignored, its like being at school: for example you have the group of hot people who won't talk to the ones who are slightly different, who don't look drop dead gorgeous etc, then you got the threads that are designed for 'dad bods' (my fave) and you will probably find a whole lot of people you never really see post.

I learnt along time ago that you wont fit into all groups on here and you have to find your niche.

That said, I love the forums and I always come back as if it wasn't for here, I wouldn't be laying next to my dad bod welding, snoring husband of just over 2 years!

Danish x"

Thank you for that information Danish. I'm very often ignored. I feel better about it all now xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello

I try hard to fit in here and participate, but find that unless you're in the clique, you get ignored or marginalized. I have severe PTSD from my military service, so everything is a big deal, and gets blown out of proportion in my mind.

Does anyone else read these wonderful comments and feel left out? God knows I try here, but only seem to get responses from total dicks.."

I totally agree with you OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, give me a yell. I also suffer with PTSD

18 years service here but with the crabs! (You’ll understand that one lol)

I’ll stick with you and introduce you to some amazing people (can’t promise I’ll get you laid

though!!)

Have faith and just join in the banter and loving the picture!

Kat x"

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually mainly only respond in closed comments, so I expect no response. My interactions on here are nothing like me in real life.

I think cliques is a harsh term, there are simply lots of people that have histories together here. Most are happy to include newbs but it's going to be tough if you need regular acknowledgment x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP welcome to the forums just keep joining in you will find some of us try to include everyone not just those we wanna fuck and be popular xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming "

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a C thread

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"a C thread "

Lovely to see you!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"a C thread

Lovely to see you!!"

And you too

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham


"I usually mainly only respond in closed comments, so I expect no response. My interactions on here are nothing like me in real life.

I think cliques is a harsh term, there are simply lots of people that have histories together here. Most are happy to include newbs but it's going to be tough if you need regular acknowledgment x "

I'd like to give you a response

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple
over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)

The 1 subject that has been going on for all the years I've been dossing around the forums and always will be. Best advice i could add stop fucking worrying about it. Post your own shit your own way. Some will like it some will not some will laugh some will cry but its all words on a screen it really doesn't change a thing. Have fun ppl it's what this place is supposed to be about

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have always just done my own thing in the Forums. Just chat away, be authentic and take it all with a pinch of salt.

Some will like you, some won’t.

The second it annoys you, take a break

Welcome

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By *lap.n.tickleCouple
over a year ago

sunny Manchester :)


"I have always just done my own thing in the Forums. Just chat away, be authentic and take it all with a pinch of salt.

Some will like you, some won’t.

The second it annoys you, take a break

Welcome "

Never a truer word from a wise man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always just done my own thing in the Forums. Just chat away, be authentic and take it all with a pinch of salt.

Some will like you, some won’t.

The second it annoys you, take a break

Welcome "

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get ignored all the time OP, it happens to everyone. It's hard to keep up with a thread and reply to everyone, try not to take it to heart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m in a clique of one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think ya got to throw ya self out there! Anyway I spend most of my time talking to me, myself and I!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore"

Me either after being ignored whenever I tried

OP join in with threads that interest you. Some people will take notice, others won’t

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore

Me either after being ignored whenever I tried

OP join in with threads that interest you. Some people will take notice, others won’t "

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Write down a list of the ones you see type on this post..... 100% it will be the same few every single day. Of course it's a clique on here. Thirty thousand people online yet same few that type on here daily

What's your definition of the clique? Only small percentage use forums. chatting publicly isn't everyone's cup of tea. But doesn’t mean they part of the clique just because they like chatting online? Jokes between themselves which only they understand. Only commenting on each others comments. Ignoring other posters. Backing up each other's opinions even when it's not even necessary. Taking a negative or abrupt approach to others. Some of these are just part and parcel of close connections being developed and might even be subconscious in manifestation but it's there. "

yup happens ALOT. I agree

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Yep, there's definitely a clique. There are cliques literally everywhere in life. If you think there's no clique in a given social environment, that's because you're part of it.

I've never quite figured out how to join one, so I've just come to accept being on the outside of things. There are worse places to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP and welcome to the forums. I have to say I'm not a regular poster as I have a busy life and this is a very small part of it, but now and again something catches my eye and I'll be inclined to comment, the comment will be an opinion or maybe to join a game or pic challenge not for validity or an ego boost. I do stay away from certain threads that I think appear cliquey. What I'm trying to say is you find the right threads for you and if you are ignored it's unlikely done on purpose but I'm sure your comment would be read and appreciated by many. Also dont make it a big part of your day/life, find other things to occupy your time that will give you a healthier self esteem and mental health. Fab can damage these things if you let it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been here years, can put thought into a post and get zero comments. It's part of being in a Forum. You have to accept that some people will warm to you and some won't like you or your opinions at all.

At the end of the day, it's just a Forum on a Swinging site and not such a big issue that you don't get a response.

One day, you may realise that all the stuff you spent your life worrying about, doesn't matter anymore, it's pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore"

One man's clique is another woman's friend group, innit..... By not joining in on the noc threads a person helps create the clique.... If you join in they always say hi, if they're not your type of ppl then you can't force them to be.... Far too much time spent in the forums moaning about others enjoying themselves and being jealous of it imho.... . Don't whinge, just do it better.....!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore

One man's clique is another woman's friend group, innit..... By not joining in on the noc threads a person helps create the clique.... If you join in they always say hi, if they're not your type of ppl then you can't force them to be.... Far too much time spent in the forums moaning about others enjoying themselves and being jealous of it imho.... . Don't whinge, just do it better.....! "

Spot on Nippy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont tend to write things on posts with the intention of being replied to, I'm sure many people just read things and nod their heads in agreement, whether they reply or not. Just keep merrily spreading yourself out there, its a good release of ideas and thoughts you many have if nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel OP, I feel like that alot of the time on here and I've been on the lounge along time. There are some lovely people on here though that won't leave you out. When I put threads up I answer every single person as I know how it feels to be left out. Don't give up and learn to spot those who will include you in their threads x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore

Me either after being ignored whenever I tried

OP join in with threads that interest you. Some people will take notice, others won’t "

That surprises me, I know that Ash and Jim reply to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore"

No it isn't.

Ash and Jim try to include everyone and all there threads promote inclusively.

Often after midnight they end up just being a few chatting but thats because not many are around.

Everyone is welcomed by the OP's.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore

Me either after being ignored whenever I tried

OP join in with threads that interest you. Some people will take notice, others won’t

That surprises me, I know that Ash and Jim reply to everyone.

"

I think that Ash and Jim may well reply to everyone... Just that reading through the threads, the conversations don't seem accessible to those who aren't involved,particularly when you have a pt 2 or pt 3 thread which is a continuation of an established conversation prior. I'm not attributing blame, just calling it how I see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m aware of the irony of me replying...

Perhaps you’d do better with a tasteful avatar picture.

People are more inclined to converse with someone they have at least an idea of who they are and what they look like.

Don’t give up.

Even highly desirable total dicks like me get ignored regularly.

. I'm a total catch of a middle aged sarcastic arsehole and half the fuckers here still ignore me, it's forum life, innit.... .

(the other half stalk my arse like it's their own....)"

At least you don’t get your posts removed by someone for no apparent reason sometimes!

I knew I posted on this thread last night and now it’s gone.

Nippy replied and quoted me last night and now it’s gone....

How strange

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Op I've been posting for 5 years and I get missed on threads, I even get missed by friends replying.

Ptsd affects us all differently, you can always find someone to chat too.

Lots of us will listen.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

People always moan about the nocturnal thread because they post and there isn’t an immediate answer. The OP of the thread answers absolutely every message, but and it’s a big but, they answer in order of each comment being posted - so there’s a delay. They also take bathroom breaks! Those that moan about it post and then shit themselves that no one immediately responded. Others in the thread try but aren’t committing themselves to answer each and every post because you know what? It’s hard bloody work. I’ve run the nocturnal thread myself over the years and it’s full on work to keep up - and I type fast too.

I’m surprised Dash and Queen L. But then again I’m not surprised too. Dash you can be very impatient. And Queenie your threads can sometimes feel exclusive too.

As Nippy says earlier in the thread. Be better people and enough of the moaning.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Last night on the nocturnal thread the OP here, a new poster, had a delayed reply as it took time for Ash to get to him. Conversely a new poster who had a thread earlier asking for help came and joined in and had fun.

One stuck it out. One came and moaned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last night on the nocturnal thread the OP here, a new poster, had a delayed reply as it took time for Ash to get to him. Conversely a new poster who had a thread earlier asking for help came and joined in and had fun.

One stuck it out. One came and moaned. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last night on the nocturnal thread the OP here, a new poster, had a delayed reply as it took time for Ash to get to him. Conversely a new poster who had a thread earlier asking for help came and joined in and had fun.

One stuck it out. One came and moaned. "

Who moaned about not getting a reply from the op? Not me, read my comment again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore"

It’s totally not, they are inclusive and that’s coming from someone as cynical as me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think its a real shame that even those who try to be friendly and inclusive are being bashed.

Why do people always have to turn things that are meant for the good into something bad.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 03/07/20 17:47:08]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

f you try and get included, genuinely try and persevere you will get included. It takes time. It depends on a lot of factors, hotness, tone of your posts, are you kissing ass, do you give balance to both males and females, do you come across authentic and many, many more....

At times when the people who declare cliques, once they are popular quickly forget and are sometimes not the most welcoming to others.

Just be yourself, post authentically and don't kiss ass. If you don't succeed first time, try a second, maybe a third, occasionally a fourth. Then think fuck em

I am going to post anyway

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Last night on the nocturnal thread the OP here, a new poster, had a delayed reply as it took time for Ash to get to him. Conversely a new poster who had a thread earlier asking for help came and joined in and had fun.

One stuck it out. One came and moaned.

Who moaned about not getting a reply from the op? Not me, read my comment again"

I didn’t say you did Dash, read again.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is some people think they own the forums

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By *olinOfBathMan
over a year ago

Corsham

[Removed by poster at 03/07/20 17:52:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm "

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem is some people think they own the forums"

Same threads every day with them announcing themselves to the room I ignore so many of them as they are boring and full of the same people

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm "

I start my own threads too.

Yes, I don’t think anyone disagrees some people have conversations with each other on threads. It’s fun sometimes and others annoying. But it’s not necessarily a clique, just a conversation. The forum is free internet paper. Ultimately within forum rules people can use it how they want. When it’s a rule that they can’t its not worth the moan - or - call them out on the thread itself if you want to be included. That can be fun as 99% of the time people immediately include you.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"The problem is some people think they own the forums

Same threads every day with them announcing themselves to the room I ignore so many of them as they are boring and full of the same people "

You’re doing the right thing if you find them boring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem is some people think they own the forums

Same threads every day with them announcing themselves to the room I ignore so many of them as they are boring and full of the same people "

Start your own fascinating threads, I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/07/20 17:56:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm "

I’m not in the girthy cock club so I don’t join in your threads

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By *olinOfBathMan
over a year ago

Corsham


"OP, give me a yell. I also suffer with PTSD

18 years service here but with the crabs! (You’ll understand that one lol)

I’ll stick with you and introduce you to some amazing people (can’t promise I’ll get you laid though!!)

Have faith and just join in the banter and loving the picture!

Kat x"

Introduce me to people...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem is some people think they own the forums

Same threads every day with them announcing themselves to the room I ignore so many of them as they are boring and full of the same people

Start your own fascinating threads, I do. "

Exactly. A lot of the people saying how awful the forums are and boring the threads are rarely start there own.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add."

But it's not about answering to every person, it's about including the newbies to make them feel welcome. like with the so called icebreaker games. I often see the same people mentioned and noone mentions or take notice of the new people. I also read people saying my exact comment on these games. I given up now commenting on the icebreakers game. I just play 'show your face friday' and 'ask a question' as people DM eachother on that, they don't have to comment on the actual thread. I'm sure other people feel the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add.

But it's not about answering to every person, it's about including the newbies to make them feel welcome. like with the so called icebreaker games. I often see the same people mentioned and noone mentions or take notice of the new people. I also read people saying my exact comment on these games. I given up now commenting on the icebreakers game. I just play 'show your face friday' and 'ask a question' as people DM eachother on that, they don't have to comment on the actual thread. I'm sure other people feel the same way. "

I'm sure they do but What do you expect people to do?

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"People in the clique say there’s no clique, people outside of the clique say there is.

We should have a vote and the clique aren't allowed to vote. regular fabbers can and see how many people agree there's a clique "

I agree with u there deffo Is

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

I’m not in the girthy cock club so I don’t join in your threads "

I start threads on many different subjects, all based on sex. If you press my green arrow, you can see that for yourself. Go on dare you

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add.

But it's not about answering to every person, it's about including the newbies to make them feel welcome. like with the so called icebreaker games. I often see the same people mentioned and noone mentions or take notice of the new people. I also read people saying my exact comment on these games. I given up now commenting on the icebreakers game. I just play 'show your face friday' and 'ask a question' as people DM eachother on that, they don't have to comment on the actual thread. I'm sure other people feel the same way. "

Whenever I go on those DM a question or secret service or similar threads I message or send a message for every bloody person on the thread that hasn’t had one as a matter of principle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add.

But it's not about answering to every person, it's about including the newbies to make them feel welcome. like with the so called icebreaker games. I often see the same people mentioned and noone mentions or take notice of the new people. I also read people saying my exact comment on these games. I given up now commenting on the icebreakers game. I just play 'show your face friday' and 'ask a question' as people DM eachother on that, they don't have to comment on the actual thread. I'm sure other people feel the same way.

Whenever I go on those DM a question or secret service or similar threads I message or send a message for every bloody person on the thread that hasn’t had one as a matter of principle. "

As do I try to.

A lot of the people that are moaning about a clique dont get involved.

What makes somebody in a clique? is it somebody that posts a lot? Is it someone that has built up friendships?

There is no pleasing some people because even the inclusive threads are being bashed.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

It's a funny old world!

Jo.Xx

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I just think its a real shame that even those who try to be friendly and inclusive are being bashed.

Why do people always have to turn things that are meant for the good into something bad. "

Have you met humans?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The problem is some people think they own the forums

Same threads every day with them announcing themselves to the room I ignore so many of them as they are boring and full of the same people

Start your own fascinating threads, I do. "

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

To be honest I don't know what people expect.

If you chat with people your considered Part of the clique if you ignore them you are also considered part of the clique.

Do you reply to every single poster on every single thread? Probably not and I don't but its not personal.

I reply to people when I feel like I've got something to say or add.

But it's not about answering to every person, it's about including the newbies to make them feel welcome. like with the so called icebreaker games. I often see the same people mentioned and noone mentions or take notice of the new people. I also read people saying my exact comment on these games. I given up now commenting on the icebreakers game. I just play 'show your face friday' and 'ask a question' as people DM eachother on that, they don't have to comment on the actual thread. I'm sure other people feel the same way.

I'm sure they do but What do you expect people to do?

"

In an ideal world of FAB, people could be more inclusive by being friendly, talking to newbies without using passive aggressive critical comments (seen that alot, almost looks like bullying to me), hogging the forum with their personal banter and chat that noone else gets or can join in with, only choosing their friends to give compliments to eachother etc. Then the forums will feel less cliquey in my opinion. Hey I don't want to feel like I'm dominating this thread but I do agree strongly with OP about how cliquey the forum can be.

Anyway OP, hope this has cleared the air for you and you feel better about things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People always moan about the nocturnal thread because they post and there isn’t an immediate answer. The OP of the thread answers absolutely every message, but and it’s a big but, they answer in order of each comment being posted - so there’s a delay. They also take bathroom breaks! Those that moan about it post and then shit themselves that no one immediately responded. Others in the thread try but aren’t committing themselves to answer each and every post because you know what? It’s hard bloody work. I’ve run the nocturnal thread myself over the years and it’s full on work to keep up - and I type fast too.

I’m surprised Dash and Queen L. But then again I’m not surprised too. Dash you can be very impatient. And Queenie your threads can sometimes feel exclusive too.

As Nippy says earlier in the thread. Be better people and enough of the moaning. "

The process of the Nocturnal thread is a mammoth task and very time consuming. I’ve done a few threads where I have given that level of attention to each poster. It is knackering and a full time occupation. Some of us are naturally more inclusive than others, some friendlier, some grumpier, some funnier, some moanier, some dafter, some more serious, some wiser, some more informed, some more tolerant, some more critical, some more helpful... everyone is probably doing their best with the resources available to them at that time. I can’t control how people respond and most of the time can’t influence it. However I can choose how I respond and consider the consequences of the way I do that.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"People always moan about the nocturnal thread because they post and there isn’t an immediate answer. The OP of the thread answers absolutely every message, but and it’s a big but, they answer in order of each comment being posted - so there’s a delay. They also take bathroom breaks! Those that moan about it post and then shit themselves that no one immediately responded. Others in the thread try but aren’t committing themselves to answer each and every post because you know what? It’s hard bloody work. I’ve run the nocturnal thread myself over the years and it’s full on work to keep up - and I type fast too.

I’m surprised Dash and Queen L. But then again I’m not surprised too. Dash you can be very impatient. And Queenie your threads can sometimes feel exclusive too.

As Nippy says earlier in the thread. Be better people and enough of the moaning.

The process of the Nocturnal thread is a mammoth task and very time consuming. I’ve done a few threads where I have given that level of attention to each poster. It is knackering and a full time occupation. Some of us are naturally more inclusive than others, some friendlier, some grumpier, some funnier, some moanier, some dafter, some more serious, some wiser, some more informed, some more tolerant, some more critical, some more helpful... everyone is probably doing their best with the resources available to them at that time. I can’t control how people respond and most of the time can’t influence it. However I can choose how I respond and consider the consequences of the way I do that.

"

Jo.Xx

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"People always moan about the nocturnal thread because they post and there isn’t an immediate answer. The OP of the thread answers absolutely every message, but and it’s a big but, they answer in order of each comment being posted - so there’s a delay. They also take bathroom breaks! Those that moan about it post and then shit themselves that no one immediately responded. Others in the thread try but aren’t committing themselves to answer each and every post because you know what? It’s hard bloody work. I’ve run the nocturnal thread myself over the years and it’s full on work to keep up - and I type fast too.

I’m surprised Dash and Queen L. But then again I’m not surprised too. Dash you can be very impatient. And Queenie your threads can sometimes feel exclusive too.

As Nippy says earlier in the thread. Be better people and enough of the moaning.

The process of the Nocturnal thread is a mammoth task and very time consuming. I’ve done a few threads where I have given that level of attention to each poster. It is knackering and a full time occupation. Some of us are naturally more inclusive than others, some friendlier, some grumpier, some funnier, some moanier, some dafter, some more serious, some wiser, some more informed, some more tolerant, some more critical, some more helpful... everyone is probably doing their best with the resources available to them at that time. I can’t control how people respond and most of the time can’t influence it. However I can choose how I respond and consider the consequences of the way I do that.

"

Preach!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"People always moan about the nocturnal thread because they post and there isn’t an immediate answer. The OP of the thread answers absolutely every message, but and it’s a big but, they answer in order of each comment being posted - so there’s a delay. They also take bathroom breaks! Those that moan about it post and then shit themselves that no one immediately responded. Others in the thread try but aren’t committing themselves to answer each and every post because you know what? It’s hard bloody work. I’ve run the nocturnal thread myself over the years and it’s full on work to keep up - and I type fast too.

I’m surprised Dash and Queen L. But then again I’m not surprised too. Dash you can be very impatient. And Queenie your threads can sometimes feel exclusive too.

As Nippy says earlier in the thread. Be better people and enough of the moaning.

The process of the Nocturnal thread is a mammoth task and very time consuming. I’ve done a few threads where I have given that level of attention to each poster. It is knackering and a full time occupation. Some of us are naturally more inclusive than others, some friendlier, some grumpier, some funnier, some moanier, some dafter, some more serious, some wiser, some more informed, some more tolerant, some more critical, some more helpful... everyone is probably doing their best with the resources available to them at that time. I can’t control how people respond and most of the time can’t influence it. However I can choose how I respond and consider the consequences of the way I do that.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

I’m not in the girthy cock club so I don’t join in your threads

I start threads on many different subjects, all based on sex. If you press my green arrow, you can see that for yourself. Go on dare you "

I was joking with you, but now you’ve suggested it I will and contribute to some that I can join in on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's more than just being ignored. It is having to read through the many personal chats the clique have until you get to read something that's actually answering the original question. Yes, people ask the clique a public question and then get totally ignored. The so called icebreaker games seems only the clique want to play it with eachother and the poor newbies comments get totally lost. Don't tell me I'm the only one who observes this. I ended up writing my own threads to get different people commenting and talking about sex as that's my favourite subject atm as I can't get any of it atm

I’m not in the girthy cock club so I don’t join in your threads

I start threads on many different subjects, all based on sex. If you press my green arrow, you can see that for yourself. Go on dare you "

Pffffffft hahaha that was so cheeky Jasmine it gave me the giggles and I hit the green arrow by mistake! Only joking it was intentional

Even when things get escalated because people from all sides want to get their _iews/points across to discuss/debate you get a golden nugget like this thrown in with humour

OP - You have enough info in here and to all the newbiews/lurkers or anyone that feels left out whether it's intentional or not... please go through this thread and make your minds up one way or another... don't sit on the fence though because that hurts... ouch!

My final thought for this:

Expect nothing except for the unexpected. In other words try not to post thinking you need a reply because you will usually set yourself up to get frustrated... post where and what you like within forum rules and soon enough the responses will come in either in thread or privately. Enjoy fellow Fabbers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait! I forgot to say where is Busty Belle with her rainbows! Spreading joy! She had to take day off when we need them in this lovely informative thread. All those looking please don't forget to go through this thread and continue to post...

Or

If you never posted yet... why not!? Come and have a poke. Show us what your fingers can do... we would love to hear your _iews, opinions, banter, humour and everything else in the forums. Don't be shy we don't bite!

Bring it! Pretty please

(This would have worked better if Busty Belle did this!)

Is that enough rainbows

Just incase...

Hope the OP is ok because he has not logged in yet to check on his blossoming and popular thread.

Peace to everyone and you're all welcome.

Over and out for real this time

Xxx

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I will not be ignored!

Fatal Attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Join nocturnal thread. Its easy to blend in and welcoming

That's the most clique thread going, it's the same 4 or 5 people having a conversation, I don't go in it anymore"

It's never wise to openly say stuff like this. The cliques will be going wild on their offline group chats slagging you off.

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