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Private Party - Thoughts Please

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

Hi there Fabbers

Please take it as given that this will not happen until covid guidelines would allow the fun to happen Safely!

We are looking for people’s thoughts around setting up a private party at our home, and would love to hear if there is interest as well as thoughts. Albeit this would be our first private party, we would like this to be a regular thing, say monthly?

We have been to many clubs as well as entertained, but looking to do something a little more in the middle

As this is at our home and not a commercial thing to make money, we are of course only interested in the right types of people coming, with the right interests. We are mindful this makes it niche but we are not setting up a swingers club ??

We have seen that parties and clubs are generally focused on both sex, however we are looking to set up the party for kinky ladies only, to predominantly enjoy the female form

So we will be heavily towards the BDSM scene, and although we would want to be open to newbies, we would also wish to welcome the experienced. All would feel comfortable and without expectations of them

We are only looking for women to attend, for a number of reasons. Firstly we have no interest in men. Secondly we like the idea of giving gay women a space to enjoy and explore, that venues very seldom do. Yes there would be a guy present as we are a couple, however he is more interested in the BDSM side, but play can be considered

We are rural, and therefore guests would be welcome to stay over

We would not wish to prevent alcohol (sensibly given the potential BDSM activities). Would it be fair to say bring a bottle, or indeed make a contribution?

Food, again this would need to be considered to keep our energy levels up ??, but what would people expect?

We are thinking of setting up a kik or WhatsApp group leading up to the party, so that attendees can get to know each other beforehand. Equally, this could be an ongoing group that evolves from party to party?

We are hoping that this post will be met in the positive spirit it is meant, and whilst we sincerely welcome everyone’s thoughts, we will only consider ladies to attend

If any ladies are reading this and would like to potentially come to the party in due course, please get in touch on here or through private messages

Appreciate any positive ideas and suggestions, and thank you in advance for your help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you'll only need one loaf for the sandwiches

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Private parties are wonderful, when done right

As it is quite a niche audience you are looking at, the details like food and drink don't matter as much right now as the people.

Right now, way the world is, focus would be on just building a connection with potential guests and them with each other. The other details work themselves out, that way. Especially with the time you have before you can implement this.

Tl;Dr: I'm just wishing you well and bumping this for suitable people to see. G'luck!

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

I don’t disagree, although 10-20 people could work at our place ??

Appreciate your involvement

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

That is a very good point, and thank you

Start on the people and let the rest work itself out

Appreciate your thoughts

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Gay women into BDSM willing to stay overnight in a rural location. Sounds quite niche to me. Wishing you success.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think potentially and in theory it's a good idea - couple of comments though...

You say it's a party for ladies only and yet throughout your post you use the term "we" which as a M/F couple would immediately raise concerns, if I were a lady, that the male half would be present or that the potential for his involvement in some way was there - so you probably want to be clear about that.

I'd also suggest that setting something like this up and expecting random people you've only interacted with on-line to attend might be a bit of an ask, especially given it's niche - so maybe establish yourselves with existing people you know first and grow from there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is a very good point, and thank you

Start on the people and let the rest work itself out

Appreciate your thoughts"

If you press reply +quote we will know who you are replying to x

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton

When we say rural, it is a village so nothing out of a horror film ??

The staying over was more about ease than anything. TBH it would be easier if everyone went home at some point, but we were not looking to create limits

Thanks for your thoughts

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"That is a very good point, and thank you

Start on the people and let the rest work itself out

Appreciate your thoughts

If you press reply +quote we will know who you are replying to x"

That is sooo helpful, thank you XxX

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yes there would be a guy present as we are a couple, however he is more interested in the BDSM side, but play can be considered

"

This sounds more like a male fantasy than a women only event

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you'll only need one loaf for the sandwiches "

And lose the sausage rolls!

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I think potentially and in theory it's a good idea - couple of comments though...

You say it's a party for ladies only and yet throughout your post you use the term "we" which as a M/F couple would immediately raise concerns, if I were a lady, that the male half would be present or that the potential for his involvement in some way was there - so you probably want to be clear about that.

I'd also suggest that setting something like this up and expecting random people you've only interacted with on-line to attend might be a bit of an ask, especially given it's niche - so maybe establish yourselves with existing people you know first and grow from there?"

Thank you for pointing that out. Yes we are an M/F couple and he would be the only guy. Our expectation is that he would be generally doing things like rigging etc, with the more sexual side for the women. Although depending on the guests, this could vary

Honesty is always the best policy

Growing organically is a bit more of a challenge, as we have limited contacts in this part of the country to grow organically, but totally get what you are saying

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I think you'll only need one loaf for the sandwiches

And lose the sausage rolls! "

What would you suggest

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"Yes there would be a guy present as we are a couple, however he is more interested in the BDSM side, but play can be considered

This sounds more like a male fantasy than a women only event "

Mindful that is how it could be viewed, but more of the female fantasy ?? in this instance. His preference is towards the BDSM than any sex

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Do it on Halloween or Friday the 13th..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I think you'll only need one loaf for the sandwiches

And lose the sausage rolls!

What would you suggest "

I suggest you get some guests before you fret about the buffet

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"Do it on Halloween or Friday the 13th.."

We would certainly be wanting themes

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I think you'll only need one loaf for the sandwiches

And lose the sausage rolls!

What would you suggest

I suggest you get some guests before you fret about the buffet"

Haha, will do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me this looks as if it's fun for the male rather than anyone else. I think you would struggle to get many gay/bi fems to be interested in it. Especially if they were coming alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you sent him to the pub whilst you hosted a party I think you might get more takers.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've been to all female parties and very much enjoyed them. However if it was supposed to be all female I wouldn't be comfortable with the presence of a man. Then again I probably wouldn't attend a private party unless I had previous befriended the hosts elsewhere so I'm not really who you're looking for anyway.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I think potentially and in theory it's a good idea - couple of comments though...

You say it's a party for ladies only and yet throughout your post you use the term "we" which as a M/F couple would immediately raise concerns, if I were a lady, that the male half would be present or that the potential for his involvement in some way was there - so you probably want to be clear about that.

I'd also suggest that setting something like this up and expecting random people you've only interacted with on-line to attend might be a bit of an ask, especially given it's niche - so maybe establish yourselves with existing people you know first and grow from there?

Thank you for pointing that out. Yes we are an M/F couple and he would be the only guy. Our expectation is that he would be generally doing things like rigging etc, with the more sexual side for the women. Although depending on the guests, this could vary

Honesty is always the best policy

Growing organically is a bit more of a challenge, as we have limited contacts in this part of the country to grow organically, but totally get what you are saying"

And being honest - I think those two points are why the idea is probably doomed to fail - a "women only" event with just one male present, regardless of his role, is likely to raise suspicions about the real reasons and motivations for the event, regardless of the fact they may be completely unfounded and people simply won't attend.

People will see it as the guy of the couple living out a fantasy of being in a house surrounded by women being sexual with each other and steer clear, no matter how "honest" you are being.

Likewise with the not knowing many people thing - the best events tend to rely on word of mouth and the like, know they all had to start somewhere, but they usually have with a group of likeminded friends.

Not intending to rain on your parade at all, the idea in principle, is a good one, but for those reasons I expect you won't generate a great deal of interest.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

To me this scenario sounds like something that would be better done with an already established group of friends . There's such a huge amount of trust involved in bdsm &, to me, that is earned & built gradually over time, especially when things like rope play are involved.

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"To me this looks as if it's fun for the male rather than anyone else. I think you would struggle to get many gay/bi fems to be interested in it. Especially if they were coming alone."

We are definitely getting that feedback. Which is a shame as not the intention. I suppose this is why we went out on the forum, as we do value people’s opinions

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As other people have pointed out - as a woman, I wouldn't be comfortable going to an all woman party when there was still a man present. Why not contact another woman who can do what he can and have her do his role instead?

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"If you sent him to the pub whilst you hosted a party I think you might get more takers. "

Always possible ?? however my confidence as a mistress stems from his presence and support. So a bit of a chicken and egg

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I've been to all female parties and very much enjoyed them. However if it was supposed to be all female I wouldn't be comfortable with the presence of a man. Then again I probably wouldn't attend a private party unless I had previous befriended the hosts elsewhere so I'm not really who you're looking for anyway."

We would definitely not be looking for the first meet with a guest to be at the party. We would want to have met each guest previously, even if only socially.

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I think potentially and in theory it's a good idea - couple of comments though...

You say it's a party for ladies only and yet throughout your post you use the term "we" which as a M/F couple would immediately raise concerns, if I were a lady, that the male half would be present or that the potential for his involvement in some way was there - so you probably want to be clear about that.

I'd also suggest that setting something like this up and expecting random people you've only interacted with on-line to attend might be a bit of an ask, especially given it's niche - so maybe establish yourselves with existing people you know first and grow from there?

Thank you for pointing that out. Yes we are an M/F couple and he would be the only guy. Our expectation is that he would be generally doing things like rigging etc, with the more sexual side for the women. Although depending on the guests, this could vary

Honesty is always the best policy

Growing organically is a bit more of a challenge, as we have limited contacts in this part of the country to grow organically, but totally get what you are saying

And being honest - I think those two points are why the idea is probably doomed to fail - a "women only" event with just one male present, regardless of his role, is likely to raise suspicions about the real reasons and motivations for the event, regardless of the fact they may be completely unfounded and people simply won't attend.

People will see it as the guy of the couple living out a fantasy of being in a house surrounded by women being sexual with each other and steer clear, no matter how "honest" you are being.

Likewise with the not knowing many people thing - the best events tend to rely on word of mouth and the like, know they all had to start somewhere, but they usually have with a group of likeminded friends.

Not intending to rain on your parade at all, the idea in principle, is a good one, but for those reasons I expect you won't generate a great deal of interest."

We are genuinely not upset by your honest views as we can see that you mean them sincerely. We were somewhat worried about tools making silly comments.

We wanted to use the forum to get a better idea of the things we needed to consider, as opposed to just setting up a party and it being a flop for everyone

We really do appreciate your thoughts

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

First let me say I'm not gay or bi but my points apply I think.

Make sure there's a purely social space, especially as you're rural and it seems transport is an issue.

Where would people sleep?

Have you considered how you'd handle any situation in which things went wrong? Eg arguments, accidents (especially considering the nature of the event)?

Is there room for the number of cars that would be turning up and would your neighbours be happy with that every month?

Where food's concerned keep it cheap and cheerful. Cheese, biscuits etc.

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"To me this scenario sounds like something that would be better done with an already established group of friends . There's such a huge amount of trust involved in bdsm &, to me, that is earned & built gradually over time, especially when things like rope play are involved. "

We think that this will need to be the way forward given the comments so far. Build a group of friends and then go from there

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done all female parties but that was females only. I wouldn't have ever gone to a party like like with just one couple but the rest are female. Either all inclusive with a mixture of couples and single fems or girls only

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"First let me say I'm not gay or bi but my points apply I think.

Make sure there's a purely social space, especially as you're rural and it seems transport is an issue.

Where would people sleep?

Have you considered how you'd handle any situation in which things went wrong? Eg arguments, accidents (especially considering the nature of the event)?

Is there room for the number of cars that would be turning up and would your neighbours be happy with that every month?

Where food's concerned keep it cheap and cheerful. Cheese, biscuits etc.

"

Those are some really good points, particularly around the “what if” side. Outer thoughts had been very much towards the optimistic side so far

Thank you

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I've done all female parties but that was females only. I wouldn't have ever gone to a party like like with just one couple but the rest are female. Either all inclusive with a mixture of couples and single fems or girls only "

Thank you for your input, love the profile name btw

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"First let me say I'm not gay or bi but my points apply I think.

Make sure there's a purely social space, especially as you're rural and it seems transport is an issue.

Where would people sleep?

Have you considered how you'd handle any situation in which things went wrong? Eg arguments, accidents (especially considering the nature of the event)?

Is there room for the number of cars that would be turning up and would your neighbours be happy with that every month?

Where food's concerned keep it cheap and cheerful. Cheese, biscuits etc.

Those are some really good points, particularly around the “what if” side. Outer thoughts had been very much towards the optimistic side so far

Thank you"

We would *love* to find people who want to build trust and friendship in an erotic or bdsm environment. Good luck with your plans.

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

all over

I dont know of any women that would go to all all women party plus your husband. But we can dream eh....

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


" my confidence as a mistress stems from his presence and support"

Yet you are expecting your guests to come alone, without support

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"First let me say I'm not gay or bi but my points apply I think.

Make sure there's a purely social space, especially as you're rural and it seems transport is an issue.

Where would people sleep?

Have you considered how you'd handle any situation in which things went wrong? Eg arguments, accidents (especially considering the nature of the event)?

Is there room for the number of cars that would be turning up and would your neighbours be happy with that every month?

Where food's concerned keep it cheap and cheerful. Cheese, biscuits etc.

Those are some really good points, particularly around the “what if” side. Outer thoughts had been very much towards the optimistic side so far

Thank you

We would *love* to find people who want to build trust and friendship in an erotic or bdsm environment. Good luck with your plans. "

Thank you

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


"I dont know of any women that would go to all all women party plus your husband. But we can dream eh.... "

Certainly seems to be a challenging thought. Certainly glad that we sought views first

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By *ower Couple - Norfolk OP   Couple
over a year ago

Watton


" my confidence as a mistress stems from his presence and support

Yet you are expecting your guests to come alone, without support"

That is an extremely good point!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever bdsm you are planning please dont use rope!

Your photo of the 25th is why. Too tight, untidy, slow to undo and critically has a twist&knot masking the radial pulse...

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 02/07/20 10:00:50]

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"To me this scenario sounds like something that would be better done with an already established group of friends . There's such a huge amount of trust involved in bdsm &, to me, that is earned & built gradually over time, especially when things like rope play are involved.

We think that this will need to be the way forward given the comments so far. Build a group of friends and then go from there

Thank you"

It's already been said in different words. But given the type of party, ropes, restraints, bdsm play, no men, a rural house, strangers... Could be a marvelously erotic encounter... But... Be mindful of things that might go wrong. I appreciate the intention is for all to have a great time but Mr fuck up does like to visit unannounced at times.

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