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What would you do if you met...

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By *ot-Ash OP   Man
over a year ago

London

I heard this on the radio last night...

What would you do if you met the man or woman of your dreams but your family or friends really didn't like them?....

would you still stay with that person or not?

( My family and friends have all met Lorna and love her so this isn't a problem for me).....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Yes i would stay with him as i lead my life to please myself and not others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much."

This ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friends have been there through thick and thin and I know they want the best for me. I'd listen to why they didn't like him and chances are they'd be spot on. Are they the man of my dreams if my friends don't love him?

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.

Wise, wise words.

If on the off chance they were just being dicks, I'd continue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened to me...

I should have listened to my family...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time I would have listened.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Listen and ultimately make my own mind up.

Although to be fair my skills in that department are so lacking I'd probably do better to let them decide.

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By *hom01Man
over a year ago

Rugby


"It happened to me...

I should have listened to my family..."
Haha - Me too , although my parents never made an issue of it because they'll always back me but when we finished they let their feelings be known.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My family weren't keen on my partner, and vice versa, and both families probably still aren't, and nearly 10 years down the line are still together.

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By *ot-Ash OP   Man
over a year ago

London


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much."

What if they were genuinely concerned about that person you loved and didn't think they were right for you?...

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By *ngel_vs_devil33Woman
over a year ago

i’ll let you know

I would regardless of what they thought, so long as I was happy surely that all that matters, not that I’d never actually find him, X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to me and I married him anyway. It’s over now but I have my daughter and would never change that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

What if they were genuinely concerned about that person you loved and didn't think they were right for you?..."

When our kids started dating we said we would welcome whoever they brought home (barring abusers) regardless of whether we privately disliked them or not. People need to make their own mistakes and decisions about who they date and form relationships with. The quickest way to make someone determined to stick with a partner unsuitable or not, is to oppose the relationship.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This ^ "

You’d expect your friends to be false?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes I would still stay with him,I won't be dictated to although it would be a horrid situation.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Good morning Ash

I'd take all of the opinions and work it out for myself

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

My family are great so I'd listen to their points but make my own mind up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's about listening to their opinions/concerns because I value them, but make my own final decisions. I know family and friends will be there for me no matter what.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing that now I love my partner to bits my daughter hates him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully my family and friends love my hubby but if they didnt then it wouldnt stop me being with him. Hes my choice. He makes me happy. He loves me. He will be there for me til the end of time. You cant choose your family but you can choose the one you marry.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This ^

You’d expect your friends to be false?"
I

I'd expect them to make an effort. I've done it. I really don't like a friend's partner but I tolerate them, behave civilly and never tell my friend I don't like him. What would that achieve?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully this isn't a problem for us.

It must be terrible though if your family or friends really didn't like your partner.

I have a friend Who hasn't spoken to her mum or sister for over 10 years because they didn't like her partner, they broke up 5 years ago but unfortunately the damage still hasn't been repaired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been in this situation but if 1 or 2 who didn't like my partner then I'd probably brush it aside.

If most or all of them had an issue with him I would take notice and wonder if they were seeing something i wasn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thankfully this isn't a problem for us.

It must be terrible though if your family or friends really didn't like your partner.

I have a friend Who hasn't spoken to her mum or sister for over 10 years because they didn't like her partner, they broke up 5 years ago but unfortunately the damage still hasn't been repaired. "

It's great this is not something you and Ash have to consider or deal with. Unfortunately in those circumstances you described... the damage can be long lasting. I know a few people like that! Luckily I have not been in that situation either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thankfully this isn't a problem for us.

It must be terrible though if your family or friends really didn't like your partner.

I have a friend Who hasn't spoken to her mum or sister for over 10 years because they didn't like her partner, they broke up 5 years ago but unfortunately the damage still hasn't been repaired.

It's great this is not something you and Ash have to consider or deal with. Unfortunately in those circumstances you described... the damage can be long lasting. I know a few people like that! Luckily I have not been in that situation either."

On the radio last night the presenter was saying that he lost a very good friendship over something like this.

His friend had split up with her fiance so He did the old cliched thing of all I never liked him anyway, you can do so much better ect...

Week later they got back together and he go a message from his friend saying he was no longer invited to the wedding because he clearly is 2 faced and they haven't had any since.

I have a a couple of friends who's partner I'm really not keen on but unless I had genuine concerns Then I wouldn't say anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old proverb !

Fuck em

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Old proverb !

Fuck em "

It's your daughter though... is it not even slightly awkward or difficult? Maybe there is more to it or it's just as simple as the "old proverb" for you

I don't have children, but can imagine and knowing how I am like that would be a horrible situation to be in. I suppose some can just crack on regardless depending on the circumstances.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This ^

You’d expect your friends to be false?I

I'd expect them to make an effort. I've done it. I really don't like a friend's partner but I tolerate them, behave civilly and never tell my friend I don't like him. What would that achieve?"

The truth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did, she was married though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much."

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there."

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

"

Exactly this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This ^

You’d expect your friends to be false?I

I'd expect them to make an effort. I've done it. I really don't like a friend's partner but I tolerate them, behave civilly and never tell my friend I don't like him. What would that achieve?

The truth?"

I have an opinion that my friend doesn't share, I don't need to express my opinion

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

"

I don't mean making out you're best buddies but not being outright hostile.

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

Luckily my family and friends adore Bert. He’s definitely the man of my dreams and so much more!! Even if they didn’t like him I’d still be with him. If you’re happy, then friends and family should be happy for you

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It depends how old I was at the time. 20 years ago for example it wouldn't of mattered to me so much as now. I think it's important that your friends and family like your man.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

I don't mean making out you're best buddies but not being outright hostile."

Yes, I agree with the civility side, and even holding back your opinion to some degree. But, to be “expected to make an effort“ sounds a bit like “pretend to like them” to me, which is something that I just couldn’t do.

Just because you aren’t keen on someone, isn’t a green light for rudeness and disrespect.

I suppose it all boils down to your expectations of your friends I feel true close friends wouldn’t hide their real feelings and would not just humour you with what you want to hear. True friends would be honest, if the news was good or bad.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

I don't mean making out you're best buddies but not being outright hostile.

Yes, I agree with the civility side, and even holding back your opinion to some degree. But, to be “expected to make an effort“ sounds a bit like “pretend to like them” to me, which is something that I just couldn’t do.

Just because you aren’t keen on someone, isn’t a green light for rudeness and disrespect.

I suppose it all boils down to your expectations of your friends I feel true close friends wouldn’t hide their real feelings and would not just humour you with what you want to hear. True friends would be honest, if the news was good or bad.

"

I'm not sure about that. I don't think I could continue a friendship with someone who made a point of telling me they didn't like my partner. If they were concerned for my well being that would be different but just plain dislike? That would make me question why they felt they needed to let me know. The same would apply if someone told me they didn't like one of my parents or one of my children.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Yes I would. If my family and friends couldn't make the effort to pretend to like the person I loved they obviously wouldn't value me much.

This.

But my family love D so I have no issues there.

I think there is a difference between pretending to like someone and being civil.

I don't mean making out you're best buddies but not being outright hostile.

Yes, I agree with the civility side, and even holding back your opinion to some degree. But, to be “expected to make an effort“ sounds a bit like “pretend to like them” to me, which is something that I just couldn’t do.

Just because you aren’t keen on someone, isn’t a green light for rudeness and disrespect.

I suppose it all boils down to your expectations of your friends I feel true close friends wouldn’t hide their real feelings and would not just humour you with what you want to hear. True friends would be honest, if the news was good or bad.

I'm not sure about that. I don't think I could continue a friendship with someone who made a point of telling me they didn't like my partner. If they were concerned for my well being that would be different but just plain dislike? That would make me question why they felt they needed to let me know. The same would apply if someone told me they didn't like one of my parents or one of my children. "

I get that, but it wouldn’t be enough to just dislike. There would have to be some justification for the dislike.

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