FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Jealousy

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

Well said Sparkles

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely....!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not noticed anything of that ilk myself..

Mind you i just dip in and out and avoid the controversial threads

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

Absolutely agree lovely

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can’t help but be jealous of me. It’s hard being as perfect as me, so people will bitch about me. Happens in the real world as well. Oh the rumours I’ve heard about me! I don’t even deny some of the rumours anymore, fuck ‘em. It used to hurt when people thought badly of me, and I’d try and change that. But now it’s meh, bigger things to worry about. If they wanna believe something out of someone else’s mouth instead of getting to know me directly, that’s on them.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

Very true.

Suprised me initially.

Now I see it's sometimes more like the playground with bigger tits and knobs

I just do my own little dance

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Good post Sparkles

Not noticed too much recently and thankfully it's never affected me but feel for those it does hurt

Jo x

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

With you all the way OP. If you can’t play nice then you shouldn’t play at all

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

Totally with you

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *yantico86Man
over a year ago

drumchapel


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

What a lovely message to start the day off thank you for this xx

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Jealousy in what context OP? Between females or both sexes?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

This is very true and also very surprising. Wouldn't do expected it here.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree! Live and let live, I say. Unless you're hurting others, it's all good

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people

Totally with you "

Hey jealousy

And you can trust me not to think

And not to sleep around

If you don't expect too much from me

You might not be let down..

I haven't seen too much jealousy, (OK I'm jealous of the guys who get replies!)...I have seen a lot of judgement and entitlement in the forum threads...nobodies perfect right?

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *traddle VariousWoman
over a year ago

Salford


"Jealousy in what context OP? Between females or both sexes?

"

I thought this. What jealousy ?

Might as well say there's a lot of smelly feet.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy is human nature sadly. We try to hide it, try to not feel it, but ultimately it's there in most of us in some way.

Best thing to do is acknowledge it to oneself. Why am I feeling unkind things towards this person? Perhaps I'm jealous... In which case I'll keep my mouth shut.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have had a rough time from another female on here who displays jealous behaviours and spreads lies.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have had a rough time from another female on here who displays jealous behaviours and spreads lies."

I'm sorry to hear that

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jealousy in what context OP? Between females or both sexes?

"

Everyone

It's not just women on women, it spans all sexes. People in general.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Jealousy to a greater or lesser degree is part of our makeup,just because someone is a swinger doesn't make them less of a jealous person from what I can see.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Totally agree! Live and let live, I say. Unless you're hurting others, it's all good

"

Exactly this!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *exyredheadtattooCouple
over a year ago

Beaumont

Life is too short for Jealousy!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

It's something I've had to learn to put up with for a long time now ........ sigh ...

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jealousy to a greater or lesser degree is part of our makeup,just because someone is a swinger doesn't make them less of a jealous person from what I can see."

This is true. I deliberately didn't use the term swinger though as a lot of people on here, don't class themselves as swingers, myself included. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, was a genuine thought as I've come across a lot of it myself in my time here and I can't understand it. I'm a very open and honest person. Anyone that knows me, knows this.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But Sparkles jealousy belongs to human nature and most of us will experience it at some point. I don’t have a problem with jealousy but how people choose to deal with it. Back stabbing and hate mongery have no place on here or in the real world. Best to simply cut those people out of your life and move on.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I feel sorry for people if their lives are so sad that they feel they need to come on here to be nasty. It’s not a good look!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The reality is that sex isn't free of emotion.

We are almost conditioned on a site like this to see those emotions negatively. So people inevitably ignore them. They bubble away and don't come out as nicely as we might like.

It's unavoidable at times.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"The reality is that sex isn't free of emotion.

We are almost conditioned on a site like this to see those emotions negatively. So people inevitably ignore them. They bubble away and don't come out as nicely as we might like.

It's unavoidable at times. "

I agree, but just because I might feel jealousy it doesn’t give me free license to being nasty to others.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reality is that sex isn't free of emotion.

We are almost conditioned on a site like this to see those emotions negatively. So people inevitably ignore them. They bubble away and don't come out as nicely as we might like.

It's unavoidable at times.

I agree, but just because I might feel jealousy it doesn’t give me free license to being nasty to others. "

It doesn't and that's why communication is so important.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My two penneth

On reading through this ..... don’t believe everything that is told to you. She said , he said etc

I’ve heard this and that - unless it’s from the horses mouth, or you have actual proof - I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"My two penneth

On reading through this ..... don’t believe everything that is told to you. She said , he said etc

I’ve heard this and that - unless it’s from the horses mouth, or you have actual proof - I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

"

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"My two penneth

On reading through this ..... don’t believe everything that is told to you. She said , he said etc

I’ve heard this and that - unless it’s from the horses mouth, or you have actual proof - I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

"
very true we always like to make our own minds up about people we never listen to idle gossip about others...

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "
and sexualality too

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My two penneth

On reading through this ..... don’t believe everything that is told to you. She said , he said etc

I’ve heard this and that - unless it’s from the horses mouth, or you have actual proof - I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

very true we always like to make our own minds up about people we never listen to idle gossip about others..."

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

What did you do Sparkles, ‘fess up?!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

If the activities are consenting, safe and respectful then the above should not apply..

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Is there a large amount of it on fab and the forums? If there is i'm oblivious to it. For the most part i'm a lone wolf doing my own thing and am not involved in gossipy chat groups that are breeding grounds for this as well as being cesspools of intrigue.

My sympathies to those who are subjected to this as it's uncalled for. We all have enough grief in our own lives already i'm sure.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Jealousy to a greater or lesser degree is part of our makeup,just because someone is a swinger doesn't make them less of a jealous person from what I can see.

This is true. I deliberately didn't use the term swinger though as a lot of people on here, don't class themselves as swingers, myself included. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, was a genuine thought as I've come across a lot of it myself in my time here and I can't understand it. I'm a very open and honest person. Anyone that knows me, knows this. "

I know you wasn't trying to offend,you would think in one respect people would be less prone to jealousy on here but it appears not. It's probably one of the reasons I could never swing with someone I loved.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I never expected there to be as much "in the background" as I've found there can be around here. Naive perhaps, as there is in any community. That's human nature.

I'll admit the green eyed monster does rear her ugly head sometimes but really that's about my own self doubt, and finding it hard to trust, and I've been working on iy

There's no room for jealousy in my life, and people who are vindictive because of it drive me mad!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

Agreed.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said OP ..

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I never expected there to be as much "in the background" as I've found there can be around here. Naive perhaps, as there is in any community. That's human nature.

I'll admit the green eyed monster does rear her ugly head sometimes but really that's about my own self doubt, and finding it hard to trust, and I've been working on iy

There's no room for jealousy in my life, and people who are vindictive because of it drive me mad! "

Agreed! I didn't believe it when I first joined. Found out the hard way that there is a lot of background drama and some will do anything to pull people in to it. It's not me at all. I'm not here for jealousy or deceit and I try to stay away from anyone that wants to cause that. Don't do vindictive either.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people

What did you do Sparkles, ‘fess up?!

"

Haha! Just be me apparently I'm a delight though

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Jealousy has no place in my life.

It is no business of mine if someone I talk to, or see, is talking and seeing others, just as it is no business of theirs either what I do.

All that matters is that when you are together you are focused on each other in that moment, outside of that we are both free to do as we please.

If everyone just minded their own, this place might not be so bad for people

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I have had a rough time from another female on here who displays jealous behaviours and spreads lies."

Have you reported it? Unless you report the person responsible it will continue.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My two penneth

On reading through this ..... don’t believe everything that is told to you. She said , he said etc

I’ve heard this and that - unless it’s from the horses mouth, or you have actual proof - I’d take it with a pinch of salt.

"

Very well said lovely xx

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

AMEN!! Xx

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

This site will naturally breed all manner of emotions amongst its users by the fact we are all different.

I don’t use the site as much as I used to but at present I see a few females vying for the position of top dog in the forums - it’s tiresome to watch them in-fighting and it can be seen by all.

There will also be jealousy over whom has met who and verified. Don’t put yourself in that position ... don’t ram it down the throats of those you know will be green eyed over it. Don’t display verifications.

Fab is a great place ..... when all is calm.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This site will naturally breed all manner of emotions amongst its users by the fact we are all different.

I don’t use the site as much as I used to but at present I see a few females vying for the position of top dog in the forums - it’s tiresome to watch them in-fighting and it can be seen by all.

There will also be jealousy over whom has met who and verified. Don’t put yourself in that position ... don’t ram it down the throats of those you know will be green eyed over it. Don’t display verifications.

Fab is a great place ..... when all is calm. "

I have to agree with the inane competitive crap at the moment

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jealousy to a greater or lesser degree is part of our makeup,just because someone is a swinger doesn't make them less of a jealous person from what I can see.

This is true. I deliberately didn't use the term swinger though as a lot of people on here, don't class themselves as swingers, myself included. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, was a genuine thought as I've come across a lot of it myself in my time here and I can't understand it. I'm a very open and honest person. Anyone that knows me, knows this. "

I think a lot of jealousy is a societal ill born of patriarchal ideas of ownership and control, and just as likely to be present here as anywhere. I'd hope those here might be a bit more open to acknowledging it though, and rejecting it. Perhaps that's overly optimistic, though.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There seems to be a lot of it going round on here. For a bunch of sexually liberated people, some still seem to have trouble accepting others life choices.

We are all our own people, with our minds to do what we like and as long as we aren't hurting anyone then what's the problem.

Can we leave the jealousy and nastiness at the door please and just have some fun?

Have a lovely day beautiful people "

Hear, hear, well said...L x

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jealousy to a greater or lesser degree is part of our makeup,just because someone is a swinger doesn't make them less of a jealous person from what I can see.

This is true. I deliberately didn't use the term swinger though as a lot of people on here, don't class themselves as swingers, myself included. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, was a genuine thought as I've come across a lot of it myself in my time here and I can't understand it. I'm a very open and honest person. Anyone that knows me, knows this.

I think a lot of jealousy is a societal ill born of patriarchal ideas of ownership and control, and just as likely to be present here as anywhere. I'd hope those here might be a bit more open to acknowledging it though, and rejecting it. Perhaps that's overly optimistic, though."

That's a interesting way to look at it and one I hadn't thought of but makes a lot of sense. I really had hoped the same although I have to say, I've met some really wonderful people on here who are very open and supportive. It's not everyone that ive seen these jealous traits in, as usual the few can spoil it for the many.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn’t think I felt jealousy until one occasion, I felt the full force of it. I actually felt physically sick with it. It was a real awakening for me, as I realised my capacity for jealousy was lurking in the dark recesses of my mind, locked away by my imagined immunity. It is a corrosive energy when denied and has fuelled so much bad feeling on here over the years that I know of. It was not see as one of the seven deadly sins for no reason

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"This site will naturally breed all manner of emotions amongst its users by the fact we are all different.

I don’t use the site as much as I used to but at present I see a few females vying for the position of top dog in the forums - it’s tiresome to watch them in-fighting and it can be seen by all.

There will also be jealousy over whom has met who and verified. Don’t put yourself in that position ... don’t ram it down the throats of those you know will be green eyed over it. Don’t display verifications.

Fab is a great place ..... when all is calm. "

Agreed. I don't think jealousy is this evil emotion as such. It's natural, it happens, it's more how you deal with it and why that feeling has surfaced - that's what is important in my opinion. It can be a really interesting introspective look at one's self; the relationships that matter, self belief, confidence etc.

The nastiness though? Not okay. I think lockdown has made it worse for obvious reasons.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I didn’t think I felt jealousy until one occasion, I felt the full force of it. I actually felt physically sick with it. It was a real awakening for me, as I realised my capacity for jealousy was lurking in the dark recesses of my mind, locked away by my imagined immunity. It is a corrosive energy when denied and has fuelled so much bad feeling on here over the years that I know of. It was not see as one of the seven deadly sins for no reason "

I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t look like the kind of guy who would covert jealousy of any kind

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I didn’t think I felt jealousy until one occasion, I felt the full force of it. I actually felt physically sick with it. It was a real awakening for me, as I realised my capacity for jealousy was lurking in the dark recesses of my mind, locked away by my imagined immunity. It is a corrosive energy when denied and has fuelled so much bad feeling on here over the years that I know of. It was not see as one of the seven deadly sins for no reason

I’m sorry to hear that. You don’t look like the kind of guy who would covert jealousy of any kind"

I didn’t think I was until I experienced it. Most of the best and worst of us lurks in our shadow. Realising I am susceptible to jealousy has meant I haven’t felt it since, because I know what caused it and worked through it.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Just take it easy and go with the flow! No need to get jealous xx

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy ruins the best of relationships

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Is it jealousy though? Or is it just nastiness and bad mouthing? Or is it just differing opinions being taken offence too? Or the supposition that people are being snide when they're being anything but?

All have been called out under the broadly same banner in recent weeks and while I don't deny they all go on to a certain extent, I think a lot more is made of them at times than really is merited.

If everyone just treated others as they'd like to be treated themselves, accepted that on a site like this Person A may well sleep with Person B, as well as sleeping with Person D and E and so what if Person B is also sleeping with Person D - then life would be a whole lot easier.

There are times that some on here, all apparently grown adults, seem to revert to playground behaviour with some of the tittle tattle that goes on or the intolerable "My mate fancies your mate" mentality

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I miss all of the forum dramas between people- are they going on privately?

I'm here for a bit of light relief - I'm glad I missed whatever is is

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I miss all of the forum dramas between people- are they going on privately?

I'm here for a bit of light relief - I'm glad I missed whatever is is "

There wasn’t any drama

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'd add to the above that one thing I *do* think has happened lately and something I have denied vehemently in the past and argued against anyone that has suggested otherwise - is the forums have lost a lot of their inclusivity - too many threads now are pretty exclusive and the same people all just having a mutual love in but in different little groups.

And perhaps that plays into some of what the OP is referring to - inter-group gossiping and sniping and "my mate says you said this about me" mentality - but again that's not jealousy as such, it's just playground mentality at it's worst.

Of course it's natural that friendship circles form and people bounce off one another - but it shouldn't be at the exclusion or to the detriment of others.

So perhaps if some of that inclusivity was restored, again the forums might be a better and more inviting place to be - I know they certainly hold no more than a passing interest for me currently they're mostly trite and/or contentious rather than being fun and inclusive and another way to get to know people

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just take it easy and go with the flow! No need to get jealous xx"

Exactly this

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This site will naturally breed all manner of emotions amongst its users by the fact we are all different.

I don’t use the site as much as I used to but at present I see a few females vying for the position of top dog in the forums - it’s tiresome to watch them in-fighting and it can be seen by all.

There will also be jealousy over whom has met who and verified. Don’t put yourself in that position ... don’t ram it down the throats of those you know will be green eyed over it. Don’t display verifications.

Fab is a great place ..... when all is calm.

Agreed. I don't think jealousy is this evil emotion as such. It's natural, it happens, it's more how you deal with it and why that feeling has surfaced - that's what is important in my opinion. It can be a really interesting introspective look at one's self; the relationships that matter, self belief, confidence etc.

The nastiness though? Not okay. I think lockdown has made it worse for obvious reasons.

"

It does happen and to some extent has its place with everything else but not really here. Who is seeing who or friends with who, what, why and when is really no one else business but theirs. The nastiness definitely needs to stop and yes I agree lockdown has made it a lot worse xx

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"I'd add to the above that one thing I *do* think has happened lately and something I have denied vehemently in the past and argued against anyone that has suggested otherwise - is the forums have lost a lot of their inclusivity - too many threads now are pretty exclusive and the same people all just having a mutual love in but in different little groups.

And perhaps that plays into some of what the OP is referring to - inter-group gossiping and sniping and "my mate says you said this about me" mentality - but again that's not jealousy as such, it's just playground mentality at it's worst.

Of course it's natural that friendship circles form and people bounce off one another - but it shouldn't be at the exclusion or to the detriment of others.

So perhaps if some of that inclusivity was restored, again the forums might be a better and more inviting place to be - I know they certainly hold no more than a passing interest for me currently they're mostly trite and/or contentious rather than being fun and inclusive and another way to get to know people "

You always summarise so succinctly GM - I’d agree with your comments. A lot of regular forum users have gone to ground due to exactly this (amongst other things)

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd add to the above that one thing I *do* think has happened lately and something I have denied vehemently in the past and argued against anyone that has suggested otherwise - is the forums have lost a lot of their inclusivity - too many threads now are pretty exclusive and the same people all just having a mutual love in but in different little groups.

And perhaps that plays into some of what the OP is referring to - inter-group gossiping and sniping and "my mate says you said this about me" mentality - but again that's not jealousy as such, it's just playground mentality at it's worst.

Of course it's natural that friendship circles form and people bounce off one another - but it shouldn't be at the exclusion or to the detriment of others.

So perhaps if some of that inclusivity was restored, again the forums might be a better and more inviting place to be - I know they certainly hold no more than a passing interest for me currently they're mostly trite and/or contentious rather than being fun and inclusive and another way to get to know people "

Yes. I've noticed a trend towards this for some time.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I was in a long running FWBs relationship with permission to see others on both sides. There were moments when I though oh! Probably because my friend was sometimes too honest with me about who she saw.

The thing was I never felt left out. She always had time to see me. Only right at the end did I feel pushed out.

I read recently. Someone said don’t confuse jealousy with envy. If I had any “moments” they were envy not jealousy. I was always happy with her “doing her own thing” as long as she was happy.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

What I have observed is that too often now threads will turn into a closed circuit, mutual appreciation echo chamber between a small group of people. Makes for enlightening reading btw

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it jealousy though? Or is it just nastiness and bad mouthing? Or is it just differing opinions being taken offence too? Or the supposition that people are being snide when they're being anything but?

All have been called out under the broadly same banner in recent weeks and while I don't deny they all go on to a certain extent, I think a lot more is made of them at times than really is merited.

If everyone just treated others as they'd like to be treated themselves, accepted that on a site like this Person A may well sleep with Person B, as well as sleeping with Person D and E and so what if Person B is also sleeping with Person D - then life would be a whole lot easier.

There are times that some on here, all apparently grown adults, seem to revert to playground behaviour with some of the tittle tattle that goes on or the intolerable "My mate fancies your mate" mentality "

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

HOT profile Sparkles007

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Jealousy is an incredibly difficult feeling to experience. Mostly because it is usually intrinsically linked to deep core wounds, insecurities and often the person experiencing it can be so overwhelmed by the feeling that they cant see the truth.. Which is USUALLY that no one tuly wishes the other to hurt.

Even 'evolved' people experience jealousy and it's something lots of us learn to navigate. I'm not surprised that it comes up again and again in this arena. It's how we deal with it is what counts. If treat with awareness, compassion and good clear boundaries from all angles it can help.

Im oblivious to dynamics here so I don't really know the context OP .. but that's my thoughts on jealousy.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"This isn't a bunch of sexually liberated people though. There are the odd few but many still have very entrenched ideas about what is wrong and right when it comes to swinging and sex. "

Especially the wife swappers who think single guys cannot be swingers. Hello it's 2020!

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"HOT profile Sparkles007 "

Aww thank you that's really made me smile

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jealousy is everywhere. Fab is no different.

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
 
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I can't make out if this post is meaning on the forum or off it.

Either way, it is an adult site, if something someone is saying is not to your liking, block their mails. If you don't like someones posts, avoid them

Job done

Now as some posts are about other people on here I am going to shut this

 (thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately
back to top