FabSwingers.com forum: Ignorance to certain guys

By *anda monium OP Man
over a year ago

knaresborough

So I'm a big guy... no wash board abs or herculean body ...

I'm just wondering ... why are there so many shallow people on this site ?? People actually write in their bios "no fattys" or "w.e only" or "slim attractive guys only"

I appreciate that people have specific tastes .. but sex isnt just about phisical attraction and it really grinds my gears that people feel it is ..

Guys are the same and probably 90% just see a pic and think fuck or pass before they even read the bios ..

Looks are not everything ..

Me for example .. no I'm not Jason momoa or skinny .. no I dont have a huge cock either ... BUT i have things about me and certain skills i have learnt over the years that could possibly give a woman or a couple the best night of their lives but low and behold .. my looks are the first thing judged ... I was told a few weeks ago I was nothing but a mess and there was no interest .. that response not only hurt me but proved to me that my picture was the make or break and not my profile ...

I'm one of the most respectfull .. genuin and reliable guys out there

Sorry rant over ...

Am I right in what iv said ??

Iv been on this site a few years now and have had just one meet so I'd love someone to proove me wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex *is* just about physical attraction for many people. If people are nasty to you just ignore them.

I think you're hot. If I had to choose, I'd pick you over Jason Momoa. I don't find him attractive.

Some people will fancy you and some won't. Some will be looking for the things you offer. It's difficult for many men on here so don't let it get you down. If they want a '6 pack man', that doesn't mean *you* are any less of a person. You're just not compatible. Same as you won't fancy everyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ll have a hard time on here as man regardless; we’re ten-a-penny.

As for the way you look, it’ll be exactly what some people on here want. Abs that could grate Parmesan and biceps like beach balls aren’t everyone’s thing, some genuinely dislike the ripped look.

As harsh as this may sound, and it’s not intended to be, if you think you’re a victim you will be by your own efforts.

I’d change a list of thing about me as long as both of my arms and someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean anyone else would.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not shallow, its preference.

I wont meet anyone I dont fancy so yes looks are important to a degree but the personality has to be there as well to keep me there.

Is that shallow, maybe to some but I dont really care, a very large majority have my view.

There are plenty of women out there who like chunky guy so you just need to find those that do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London

For a lot of people, Fab is a way of fulfilling fantasies, so they may want someone that fits their fantasy - Which may include a threesome with Aquaman and Wonder Woman.

The easiest way to make fab a more enjoyable experience is to not worry about the profiles that you don't match with, and look for those that do.

I'm a short arse, so I simply pass-by those profiles looking for 6' men

Maybe once, the current crisis has eased / finished, get yourself along to an organised social or club - where you can show your personality off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

People have their preferences and shouldn't be criticised for it. Physical attraction plays an important role in sexual desire and this is perfectly natural. This becomes even more apparent online where visual impact often plays a deciding factor in whether they'll stop for a closer look or scroll on by.

I'll agree with you that other qualities that define you are important, but perhaps they play a bigger role in a different context? This is a sex site where many come on for a specific purpose. That doesn't necessarily make them shallow.

I certainly wouldn't consider sex with someone i'm not attracted to, despite other qualities they might have. Doesn't make me shallow either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never seen a profile that says ‘no fatty’s’ but if I did I would keep scrolling as I’m fat so obviously wouldn’t be attractive to them and that’s fine it’s not personal to me it’s just their preference! As a couple we both find various people super hot but it’s not always because of their looks it might just be how they come across in text or a sense of humour but there obviously has to be an attraction

Just keep being yourself and don’t worry about the ones that pass you by as there will be some that will stop and look

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think you’re right in what you’ve said. Yeah, looks aren’t everything. But if I don’t initially fancy you, then I won’t fancy you just because you have an amazing personality.

People are allowed to have preferences

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think you’re right in what you’ve said. Yeah, looks aren’t everything. But if I don’t initially fancy you, then I won’t fancy you just because you have an amazing personality.

People are allowed to have preferences

I wouldn’t want to fuck anyone who thought I was ugly but had a great personality anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe all the chicks with big brains will read this thread and you'll be flooded with vag pics in your box today fella.....? Report back and let us know how you get on....?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

People come on Fab to fulfil a need/fantasy.

They have the absolute right to be picky over how these are fulfilled.

It is what it is. But there is someone out there for everybody.

But take heart OP there are nice Herculean guys like me with mad skills who hide their profile pics to give everybody a chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People come on Fab to fulfil a need/fantasy.

They have the absolute right to be picky over how these are fulfilled.

It is what it is. But there is someone out there for everybody.

But take heart OP there are nice Herculean guys like me with mad skills who hide their profile pics to give everybody a chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately you're a commodity on FAB.

Is having that view about people shallow? I think it is, but remember that generally, this site is about sexual liaisons not meaningful relationships which will last.

Ultimately we're simply shop front windows, hoping to catch someone's eye as they pass, hoping were what they may fancy?

Don't be disheartened. FAB isnt reflective of everyday real life....much

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heGentleman2024Man
over a year ago

North West

You need to have Thick skin on here as a single man, nobody is “perfect” and its all down to preferance. Many of us get painted with the same brush as “pests” here. Women get hundreds of messages a day. Many of them with faceless profiles no photos and just plain weird requests.

Respect is key and im sure you have a lot about you. Trick is to not get frustrated. The right people will look for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

We are all judged on the way we look. If someone isn't attracted to you that's their choice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

Sorry but this isn't a dating site, married couples are not looking for their life partner. Physical attraction and an extra sexual dynamic is why people are here and they are entitled to their preferences.

That said, no one should condone spitefulness and it is unnecessary when a simple no thanks or no reply is enough.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you on people being shallow, while some say it's what they call preference. One's body will fade away as they grow older, but personality and character doesn't. I wouldn't worry about those who are disrespectful towards you. I call it 'the natural selection.'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to have Thick skin on here as a single man, nobody is “perfect” and its all down to preferance. Many of us get painted with the same brush as “pests” here. Women get hundreds of messages a day. Many of them with faceless profiles no photos and just plain weird requests.

Respect is key and im sure you have a lot about you. Trick is to not get frustrated. The right people will look for you

Exactly this, try your luck if they fit what you want and if it doesn't work out move on. Normally people won't be that harsh in a rejection unless you push for a reason and some don't even respond. Keep trying OP and you will fit someone's preferences

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

OP pretty much everything you need to know has been said already - the only thing I'd add is why worry or waste any energy on those that won't meet you?

As a bisexual, 55 year old, with an average body, cock that works when it chooses not me, and not always how I'd like it to, I'm ruled out by a lot of people but does that bother me? Not in the slightest, there are still people who regardless of that don't rule me out and I prefer to focus my time and energy on them than worry about those whose preference isn't any of those things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off."

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

wouldn't bother me. you look good . ignore the dickheads

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

You have your profile hidden

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

You have your profile hidden

Well, I don't think it is a good reason not to!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd judge you more on this post and your profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

All those points would perhaps be valid in a dating website, where people will be looking for more than physical attraction.

In my case, physical attraction and an intellectual connection are very important to me. I need to be dazzled by both looks and intellect, otherwise I’m not bothering. Happily I have found what I am looking on here several times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshcouple18Couple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

"
doesn't want his wife finding out.. ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think is says a lot on here that larger ladies list themselves as 'BBW' (I don't think anyone needs an explanation of that acronym!) or 'Fabulous' and a fuller figure is celebrated. However, a larger guy is likely to be considered someone who doesn't necessarily look after himself and sits at home all.dsy drinking pizza and swigging gallons of beer.

Chin up OP, I'm sure there are some decent women out there for you it just takes a LOT of searching!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

You have your profile hidden

Well, I don't think it is a good reason not to!

Happy now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd judge you more on this post and your profile "

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in their shoes. By then you're a mile away, and you've got their shoes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

doesn't want his wife finding out.. ??"

I dont have a wife

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All those points would perhaps be valid in a dating website, where people will be looking for more than physical attraction.

Damn! I ticked a those boxes!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

doesn't want his wife finding out.. ??

I dont have a wife

Would you like to be mine?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

doesn't want his wife finding out.. ??

I dont have a wife

Would you like to be mine?

Only on Tuesdays if that's ok

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have just read your profile OP. Unfortunately I wouldn't message you, not because of your looks but any mention of the dom/sub dynamic puts me off.

Can you please explain why you haven't messaged me?

doesn't want his wife finding out.. ??

I dont have a wife

Would you like to be mine?

Only on Tuesdays if that's ok

Damn! Now I need to find someone for the other 6 days!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oldswarriorMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Water Boarding and Primal Hunting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Another guy who thinks he’s entitled to sex on here. Sorry Op it screams ‘Incel’ to me.

You claim to have a great personality and respectful, hardly if you call people on here ‘shallow’.

I find body hair repulsive, according to you if a really hairy guy has a great personality I should give him a chance.

You’re not someone’s preference, would you honestly want to have sex with someone who finds you a turn off and can’t wait till it’s over ? Or prefer to find someone who is turned on by your size and looks ?

If your personality is so wonderful, get out to a social or club and dazzle them with it, or get used to the site and accept the fact, you’re not for everyone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is for me sex is about physical attraction... I wouldn't message someone on the hope the sex might be good if there wasn't the initial tingle there from viewing his pictures.

Yes, irl, things have historically developed with guys who started as friends and actually the banter, chemistry and all around relationship made them seem more attractive. The feelings grew as did the wanting to have sex with them.

But on fab?! Sorry, shallow or not... I have to be attracted to the pics and the profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"So I'm a big guy... no wash board abs or herculean body ...

I'm just wondering ... why are there so many shallow people on this site ?? People actually write in their bios "no fattys" or "w.e only" or "slim attractive guys only"

I appreciate that people have specific tastes .. but sex isnt just about phisical attraction and it really grinds my gears that people feel it is ..

Guys are the same and probably 90% just see a pic and think fuck or pass before they even read the bios ..

Looks are not everything ..

I'm one of the most respectfull .. genuin and reliable guys out there

Sorry rant over ...

Am I right in what iv said ??

Iv been on this site a few years now and have had just one meet so I'd love someone to proove me wrong

For some people this is fantasy.

What I've noticed is people take it personally if they are excluded from some profiles, assuming if they met the criteria they'd be an automatic shoo-in. Or there's something wrong with them. Accepting we don't have universal appeal will make fab life easier.

Concentrate on those looking for you instead of focusing on those who've made it clear they don't want what you're offering.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is for me sex is about physical attraction... I wouldn't message someone on the hope the sex might be good if there wasn't the initial tingle there from viewing his pictures.

But on fab?! Sorry, shallow or not... I have to be attracted to the pics and the profile. "

Wouldn’t say it’s shallow at all. Most people on here would’ve had moments where they felt like OP but attraction doesn’t make you shallow.

After all you can’t wank over personality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread