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Widower

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I find it hard on here getting a response from ladies. Is it because they think i might be an old codger or is my profile wrong?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

not an appealing profile - Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its rather a nice profile, polite and gives the impression of a pleasant gentleman.

But I suspect the reason you don't get replies is just because of the number of single guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it was an ok profile too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think its rather a nice profile, polite and gives the impression of a pleasant gentleman.

But I suspect the reason you don't get replies is just because of the number of single guys on here. "

Thanks. That is how i see myself so i refuse to put anything other just to get a response. I guess the first comment means that i have to put a load of crap just to get a reply

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

To me, it's a little too much 'oh woe is me' take pity - I'm sorry that you lost your wife but really is it relevant - plus you have grown up children - so what? Add something more relevant to why you're here. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its rather a nice profile, polite and gives the impression of a pleasant gentleman.

But I suspect the reason you don't get replies is just because of the number of single guys on here.

Thanks. That is how i see myself so i refuse to put anything other just to get a response. I guess the first comment means that i have to put a load of crap just to get a reply"

Naaah... Dont let Z put yer off... Shes showin her best profile in avatar...

Seriously .... Everyone will have their opinion... Your profile should show what you want it to show...

Be yourself...

Good luck...;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nice profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profile reads ok to me too and age is only a number.

Good luck too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree with Eurotongue.

OP keep your profile how you want to and give information and put pics on of your choice.

Lots of people will give advice on what to change in your profile, but if you did what they said, would they then reply and meet you, probably not.

Just be yourself and please yourself, noone else

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To me, it's a little too much 'oh woe is me' take pity - I'm sorry that you lost your wife but really is it relevant - plus you have grown up children - so what? Add something more relevant to why you're here. Z"

okay,fair point. I will work on the profile

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Why is it that only one person has had a negative view of the OPs profile and thats the only opinion the OP has taken notice of?

Is'nt that odd how we react?

Personally I don't think its a bad profile,I have seen a lot worse,but its your profile and if you think it relfects you as you want to be seen by others then thats all that matters

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I can see where Zoe is coming from as the "woe is me" is followed by 'might' meet...comes across as you just want to chat to me. Nothing wrong with that at all but that's how it reads.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why is it that only one person has had a negative view of the OPs profile and thats the only opinion the OP has taken notice of?

Is'nt that odd how we react?

Personally I don't think its a bad profile,I have seen a lot worse,but its your profile and if you think it relfects you as you want to be seen by others then thats all that matters

"

again... point taken. thanks x

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

because it is as the adage goes.. trying to appeal to everyone and please everyone...

having read it i would say this.....

if i was a woman/couple reading that, how would i/we know what you were looking for?

the answer is that you wouldn't... you don't mention them at all... at least give them a clue as to if they fit what you are looking for.... (the 18 to 99 age thing is a pet peeve for a lot of people....)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"because it is as the adage goes.. trying to appeal to everyone and please everyone...

having read it i would say this.....

if i was a woman/couple reading that, how would i/we know what you were looking for?

the answer is that you wouldn't... you don't mention them at all... at least give them a clue as to if they fit what you are looking for.... (the 18 to 99 age thing is a pet peeve for a lot of people....)"

good point. thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the profile does suggest you are a good and decent man who is looking to put a bit of pzazz back in his life.

Whilst I wouldn't go as far as saying it is 'woe is me', the profile also has intimations that you may be looking for more than just sex meets, or that sex meets may involve some 'emotion' relating to your wifes passing / your life in general.

Most people are here for fun, to 'escape' the normal ups and downs of life and just make friends and acquaintances that may lead to the bedroom.

I agree that if the profile suits you, is a reflection of you, then leave it be.

There are other ways of meeting people than via the site - attend a social, attend a club, somewhere you can interact and enjoy a drink in good company and again, who knows, that could spark things off for you too.

I hope whatever you decide to do, it gives you some positive results

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There is such a wide variety of needs , wants and availabilities here.

Don't take it personally when things don't happen.

The profile is not only unattractive to me it is actually repellent.

Try to remember i'm only one person. Most here have said it's okay.

I'm with Zoe. Her response was not negative it was constructive criticism designed to answer what YOU asked for, designed to help and good on her for being helpful. She can actually comprehend what the profile says to others rather than just saying 'That's nice dear'.

Your Header: Laugh it doesn't hurt. For me , this is YOU talking to yourself. Hides nothing. There is no point in you telling others to laugh. You don't know them. Me? I AM happy. I find it irksome that your opening line is a dictum on how others need to live and assumes that all are miserable.

Keep any available space for saying GOOD things.

Widowed with two grown up children? Had to look after 'things' and now you want some fun? This is all irrelevant until you are actually chatting to someone you are getting on with. Only then might you get personal. How about - Single man , no ties , looking to meet women once we find we have similar connections and needs.

The rest is fine.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've just noticed - even the title of this thread is 'widower' yet the Q has nothing to do with being a widower but to do with not getting responses and thinking you are old.

Is 'widower' your best hook ?

What's attractive about YOU ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why mention being a widower? Why not just a single father of two dependent children?

By mentioning being a widower/widow, it gives me the impression that one may not be emotionally ready for NSA fun, and could be clingy/needy.

Just my take on things, of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and the same for "recently come out of a relationship..." etc...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would be put off as it seems you are playing on the widow aspect.

I would take that part of your profile out, the rest looks fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in the same situation you are sort of, my kids were young at the time, but my in-laws took care of them at weekends for me. My response to being widowed was a few years of pretty close to insanity, from Friday till Sunday then I was dad again for the week.

I had a lot of NSA one night stands, mostly from clubs and bars, but NEVER mentioned my status except perhaps over breakfast, as a good way of ensuring they left quickly!

Concentrate on the positives in your life, the past is something that you can deal with if things progress till lunch and dinner time.

Good luck.

as a parting thought, 14 years later I am remarried and VERY happy, still get down times but they don't last an unmanagable amount of time these days.

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