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Older children with aspergers

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Hi all I have a 19 yr son who I suspect has asperegers, Mr is in denial that there is anything wrong with him and that he is just lazy. My son has never been tested (his choice) and up until the shut down was employed in a restaurant. Can anyone help me and put mine and my Mr's mind st ease.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"Hi all I have a 19 yr son who I suspect has asperegers, Mr is in denial that there is anything wrong with him and that he is just lazy. My son has never been tested (his choice) and up until the shut down was employed in a restaurant. Can anyone help me and put mine and my Mr's mind st ease."
what makes u think he as aspergers bu the way they dont called it that now its changed to asd

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

How can we put your mind at ease ? I have nineteen year old twins with autism and they are both brilliant. What are you hoping people will say to help you ?

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By *urious8812Couple
over a year ago

dorchester

My daughter was diagnosed around the age of 12. Initially it was a relief to get the diagnosis but the reality is nothing else changes. Unless they are severely autistic (in which case they are diagnosed at a very young age) then the only thing that changes is understanding their odd ways and realising that you cannot change them but instead accept it and be understanding and realise they will always need help witj certain things.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"My daughter was diagnosed around the age of 12. Initially it was a relief to get the diagnosis but the reality is nothing else changes. Unless they are severely autistic (in which case they are diagnosed at a very young age) then the only thing that changes is understanding their odd ways and realising that you cannot change them but instead accept it and be understanding and realise they will always need help witj certain things. "
my lad was diagnosed at 4

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This is very true. I was at first reluctant to go through the diagnosis process but I realise now it has made me much more understanding of their behaviour and the daily problems they face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK so I was diagnosed at the age of 29.

I always knew my brain worked very differently from how everyone elses seemd to and I struggled with fairly basic things in life.

Having the diagnosis was actually a game changer because it helped me to understand that actually I was ok being me.

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"How can we put your mind at ease ? I have nineteen year old twins with autism and they are both brilliant. What are you hoping people will say to help you ?"

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


" My son has never been tested (his choice) "

Why as a family did you decide it was best that he wasn't tested ? If he is diagnosed support is available up to age 24 with education, employment and life skills. My daughter got an amazing personal travel training course provided free by the council and after six weeks was able to travel alone on two buses to college and two buses home which I never imagined she would be able to do.

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"How can we put your mind at ease ? I have nineteen year old twins with autism and they are both brilliant. What are you hoping people will say to help you ?"

I have been told that my son was gifted and talented when he was at school but no one seemed to know how to access this talent that he had at the time. He is one of those types of people who you have to coerce into thinking that it's his idea in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK so I was diagnosed at the age of 29.

I always knew my brain worked very differently from how everyone elses seemd to and I struggled with fairly basic things in life.

Having the diagnosis was actually a game changer because it helped me to understand that actually I was ok being me. "

I can top that, diagnosed at 50 after going through a nasty divorce. Life has become much easier since the diagnosis.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"How can we put your mind at ease ? I have nineteen year old twins with autism and they are both brilliant. What are you hoping people will say to help you ?

I have been told that my son was gifted and talented when he was at school but no one seemed to know how to access this talent that he had at the time. He is one of those types of people who you have to coerce into thinking that it's his idea in the first place. "
Is there anything else apart from being gifted and talented as i dont think that would get you a diagnosis x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Different" doesn't mean less of a person.

There's is nothing "wrong" with being wired differently, thinking differently.

Reframe it.

As Greta says "Aspergers is her superpower"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend's daughter was diagnosed when she was four, just over a year ago. She's the most marvellous, loving and smart little girl and her mum's already teaching her that her Asperger's doesn't define who she is. I have dyspraxia, not a form of autism but still a neurological condition, and I will also show her that our 'conditions' do not define us.

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral


"OK so I was diagnosed at the age of 29.

I always knew my brain worked very differently from how everyone elses seemd to and I struggled with fairly basic things in life.

Having the diagnosis was actually a game changer because it helped me to understand that actually I was ok being me. "

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"How can we put your mind at ease ? I have nineteen year old twins with autism and they are both brilliant. What are you hoping people will say to help you ?

I have been told that my son was gifted and talented when he was at school but no one seemed to know how to access this talent that he had at the time. He is one of those types of people who you have to coerce into thinking that it's his idea in the first place. Is there anything else apart from being gifted and talented as i dont think that would get you a diagnosis x "

I took my son to be tested at the age of 15 , he didn't want to take the full test as he didn't want it going on his medical records., because he thought that it would affect his prospects career wise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s bad enough to be a sufferer and go through life using self taught helping techniques but it’s soul destroying to see your kids with the same problems.

Daughter missed school here from the age of 14 as there is no help at all then last august says she’s ready to go back to schooling and has found a college in Chichester that helps sufferers and the course started in a weeks time but we got her in and settled and they like Sally’s daughter taught her to get the bus and train and help her no end.

First year and she’s top of her course and doing well and even has friends.

Get him checked out and take any help on offer and the very best of luck.

T

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son was diagnosed with with ADHD and ASD when he was 8...he's 15 now and he knows all there is to know about his condition, and so do I.. tbh because he takes medication for the ADHD the asd traits are more pronounced but i wouldn't change him for anything and he likes the fact that he thinks a bit differently from his friends ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/06/20 22:52:24]

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships). He didn't want to be tarred with the "I've got a mental illness " brush for the rest of his life

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships). He didn't want to be tarred with the "I've got a mental illness " brush for the rest of his life "

Disclosure is up to the person with autism. It's on the medical record but it's entirely up to them.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships). "

This isn't true. An ECHP gives support up to age 24, from school and throughout college or apprenticeship and into employment.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

My typing mistake. EHCP. (Education and Health Care Plan)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships).

This isn't true. An ECHP gives support up to age 24, from school and throughout college or apprenticeship and into employment. "

Yep, this.

Its invaluable

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By *iercedlots OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Thanks everyone for your help and advice. I will take it all on board and speak to my son. All I want is the best for him, I know what a big bad world it is out there and how much it intimidates him. Up until lockdown he had a steady job as a trainee chef, he gets on really well with his colleagues and I hope that this can continue once the restrictions are lifted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Different" doesn't mean less of a person.

There's is nothing "wrong" with being wired differently, thinking differently.

Reframe it.

As Greta says "Aspergers is her superpower"

"

Absolutely. Chris Packham too.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

We're all on the spectrum

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I don’t view my autism as a disability or a disadvantage. I have a job and was very open with my employer from the start. I could not have been secretive about it because it is apparent as soon as you meet me but I know other people that are not so obvious. It is up to your son if he chooses to tell people or not and it is good that he has that choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Different" doesn't mean less of a person.

There's is nothing "wrong" with being wired differently, thinking differently.

Reframe it.

As Greta says "Aspergers is her superpower"

Absolutely. Chris Packham too. "

Aspergers only sets you back if you let it.

And Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah and Tim Burton.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

might be worth some on this thread looking at adders dot org lots of usefull info tips and support for those on and with family on the autistic scale

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Different" doesn't mean less of a person.

There's is nothing "wrong" with being wired differently, thinking differently.

Reframe it.

As Greta says "Aspergers is her superpower"

Absolutely. Chris Packham too.

Aspergers only sets you back if you let it.

And Anthony Hopkins, Daryl Hannah and Tim Burton.

"

Also Courtney Love, Dan Akroyd and Susan Boyle

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Temple Grandin is an utter inspiration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships). He didn't want to be tarred with the "I've got a mental illness " brush for the rest of his life "

Autism is not a mental illness.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"This is the reason my son didn't want to be tested because there is no follow through from school to college or the workplace ( in the case of apprenticeships). He didn't want to be tarred with the "I've got a mental illness " brush for the rest of his life

Autism is not a mental illness."

It's not, although it's tarred with similar stigma.

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