FabSwingers.com forum: Ask wife to swing

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been married 24 years my wife has only ever had sex with me I have meet couples and been to clubs love group fun I would her to try it I just dont know how to ask her help me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The standard answer in here is ‘show her your profile and see what she thinks’

Slip in the odd comment about fantasies etc and see what she comes back with - she might have thought the same thing but not wanted to express it

However, she might just say she wants to shove a watermelon up your hoop so be prepared

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So she does or doesn't know about your profile...? That's probably gonna be the deal breaker....

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Why now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her if she has fantasies about women, then tell her it's fine if she wants to live them out with you. Back door route in to swinging

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Have you ever mentioned it before?

Before we came here my hubby had mentioned it often, I couldn't get my head round it, particularly when kids were small. It was also a confidence thing. Now we both love it!

But if I had found out he had been shagging other women on here it would have finished things.

Approach with caution!!

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Does she know about your swinging activities? That's pretty important to this conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cant really know that, maibe she is also secretly on fab? Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know you swing? If the answer is no then her answer is definitely going to be a no. If she does know you swing then the answer is also probably definitely a no as you've been together long enough for her to know if it's something she wants to engage in.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"I have been married 24 years my wife has only ever had sex with me I have meet couples and been to clubs love group fun I would her to try it I just dont know how to ask her help me"

Is it your wife in your photos ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We started when you put an add in bargain pages lol. We spoke about it and answered a single guys add. She thought she'd be to embarrassed. He picked us up and took us back to his place. Just sitting there with a stranger talking about what you enjoyed during sex turned her on she was soon on her knees in front of him lol and still one of our fondest memories

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Just ask. Sit down with her and say you'd like to try some new things together. Encourage her to tell you her fantasies too.

She will probably question your love for her and why she isn't enough for you either quietly to herself or directly to you so be ready to reassure her. Also be ready to accept a no from her.

If she does agree how are you going to keep your previous activities from her assuming she's not aware?

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Have you ever mentioned it before?

Before we came here my hubby had mentioned it often, I couldn't get my head round it, particularly when kids were small. It was also a confidence thing. Now we both love it!

But if I had found out he had been shagging other women on here it would have finished things.

Approach with caution!!

Jo "
this

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Just ask. Sit down with her and say you'd like to try some new things together. Encourage her to tell you her fantasies too.

She will probably question your love for her and why she isn't enough for you either quietly to herself or directly to you so be ready to reassure her. Also be ready to accept a no from her.

If she does agree how are you going to keep your previous activities from her assuming she's not aware? "

This is very true also

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

"I have been married 24 years my wife has only ever had sex with me I have meet couples and been to clubs love group fun I would her to try it I just dont know how to ask her help me

Is it your wife in your photos ?"

My thoughts exactly, hope it’s not.

Don’t you think you should have perhaps spoken to your wife before entering the swinging world alone

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

"I have been married 24 years my wife has only ever had sex with me I have meet couples and been to clubs love group fun I would her to try it I just dont know how to ask her help me"

Think it was your wife asking the same question about how to get her husband in to swinging last week on her secret profile

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It may work if you are prepared to be completely honest.

If you are going to pretend that you are ignorant and novice to it, probably as faithful as she is, then you will hold dishonesty at the core of your relationship and attempts to venture into swinging. Does that sound healthy?

You could instead put your efforts in to finding out what she's missing and needs in her life, avoiding your manipulation of her, to get your own needs met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why now?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically, what you're saying is..... she doesn't know you're on here and sleeping with other people and yet she's been faithful to you throughout your marriage? And you haven't brought the subject up, even in a roundabout way?

If you was my husband, i'd rip your balls off without anesthetic and kick your arse so hard around the country, you'd be begging for your end!

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"So basically, what you're saying is..... she doesn't know you're on here and sleeping with other people and yet she's been faithful to you throughout your marriage? And you haven't brought the subject up, even in a roundabout way?

If you was my husband, i'd rip your balls off without anesthetic and kick your arse so hard around the country, you'd be begging for your end!

The balls would make nice earrings don’t you think?

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I read something similar the other day on another site. Pretty much identical scenario but they had been together maybe ten years.

She said yes and had offers coming out of her ears. Which made up for all the back shagging he had done.

He got a proper monk on and said they do it as a couple or not at all. The hypocritical bastard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been married 24 years my wife has only ever had sex with me I have meet couples and been to clubs love group fun I would her to try it I just dont know how to ask her help me"

OP my fellow forumites have made some valid points in the posts above. I am not going to repeat those or add to them.

Undoubtedly trust, honesty, openness are imperative in the relationship of swingers... and this transfers to their swinging. Swingers have very strong communication skills. I do not see you having this skill set within your relationship... sorry.

You made your own decision to play away from your wife, you will have your reasons and they are not for us to know or to judge you on them.

You have been married for 24 years and I have been in my relationship for 4 years, after a comparatively smaller time period myself and my boyfriend know everything sexual about each other and enjoy exploring new ideas and fantasies. If my boyfriend wanted to ask my opinion on something sexual he can simply ask me, whether we are at home or in the middle of doing the big shop in Lidl. You on the other hand haven't got those established communication channels and instead ask us for advice regarding the person who you know better than anyone.

I am sorry OP but I cannot help you to persuade your wife to join you in swinging because I feel that you have deeper relationship fundamentals which you both could benefit from improving before you introduce swinging to a conversation.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replays will have to talk we r away end July to Blackpool so will be a good time to talk about it thanks everyone

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