FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Married people struggling through lockdown?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either

All I’m saying is it’s been tough...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Its been really tough. Especially after finding out hubby cheated on me throughout Jan after 5 months of marriage and I decided to let him stay. I found myself back on fab because its familiar from before my marriage. Yeah, tough times loving life! Lol. How are you OP?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either

All I’m saying is it’s been tough..."

Have you asked your wife for her input?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andymanpaulMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I have found it very difficult. Lots of arguments, early on. Found a happy ish medium.

Footy is back now too so a bonus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

God well I thought I wondered if it was just me... but you seem to have had the the majority of crap! I’m sorry! Me.. I’m back here.. do we ever escape? Can we replace the buzz?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So who’s married and struggling through lockdown? Genuine post! Assume it will attract those on the moral high ground we’re soo used to ignoring. If you disapprove please move on.. we don’t judge you either

All I’m saying is it’s been tough...

Have you asked your wife for her input?"

No. Not what this is about.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have found it very difficult. Lots of arguments, early on. Found a happy ish medium.

Footy is back now too so a bonus "

Your sleeping into the garden also?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marriages seem to struggle at the best of times without being in lockdown.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know it’s a partnership.. get out what you put in etc etc... I’m just like.. is this it.. where has the buzz gone...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"Its been really tough. Especially after finding out hubby cheated on me throughout Jan after 5 months of marriage and I decided to let him stay. I found myself back on fab because its familiar from before my marriage. Yeah, tough times loving life! Lol. How are you OP? "

That’s tough but life is life sadly ... hopefully all will

Work out for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would guess that you normally only spend a solid two weeks maximum together a year when you go on holiday so 13 weeks will be tough on anyone.

And this isn't judgemental but you need to put buzz in to get buzz back I would have thought.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r and Mrs minionCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm used to Mr M being away nearly half the year working. So yes it is tough, adapting is tough and then throwing the kids into the mix puts a strain on things. You can only do what you are doing, making the most of it. Stay strong x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andymanpaulMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire


"I have found it very difficult. Lots of arguments, early on. Found a happy ish medium.

Footy is back now too so a bonus

Your sleeping into the garden also?"

Just going to bed much later than she does

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away. "

Perhaps you need to talk to her?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Tried.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

We're finding lockdown great and we very rarely argue anyway

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ


"Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away. "

Women need to feel loved to enjoy sex, Men need sex to feel loved.

You could replace "love" with attractive/happy/etc.

People focus in when they have too much time on their hands. Weight, skin, muscle tone all become targets for self-criticism. You may genuinely disagree and not see why she cannot see it. That then becomes the source of the argument.

Break the cycle, show her you give a shit, and mean it (no sex strings attached) and she will give it back in return

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

[Removed by poster at 19/06/20 01:07:37]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

If your not happy your not happy, virus or not... if you were you would not moan as you both would talk and sort the issues out. Simple and i know exactly how it feels when your not happy but so fucked off you can’t be arsed sorting anything out anymore. Leave and move in if it comes to that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried. "

Why does she feel unattractive? Do you think she might not feel your putting the effort in and then that in turn self perpetuates the whole thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.

I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire


"Tried. "

You describe yourself as an articulate guy in your profile. You need to talk to her and be honest and if you're not happy then leave. Give both of you a chance

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.

I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope. "

Maybe she's discovered Fab?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill


"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that. "

I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.

Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This place always surprises me. One one side it’s so very shallow. And another the opposite.

I’m an articulate & educated chap. I understand psychology to a certain point.. she’s drifting away and I fear I can’t reach the rope.

Maybe she's discovered Fab?"

I wish lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that.

I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.

Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted. "

So long as you both are happy all is good

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that.

I joined Fab for the same reasons as you, 2 years ago. I was lucky that there was no Covid 19 then so managed to meet amazing people in that time. It does take a lot of courage to stay. And I agree- some men/women just want more... I would have been ok with an open relationship if he’d been honest to me from the beginning.

Re marriage and lockdown- we’re actually getting on ok! we have lunch together and we go out for a run after his work. We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company do it’s no hardship really. Sex is scarce but that’s always been the case... good job my sex drive has plummeted. "

Maybe this is as good as it can get.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.

Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.

Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope

"

No I’m serious.. she’s fucked off on a boat and... meh.

I get it. Thankyou for not just calling me a jerk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Hi OP, hope you are well.

Cut yourself both some slack, you’ve so much going on. Take a step back, go back to basics, have a date night, make her feel special, appreciated, a simple thing like making dinner and just chatting, laughing with no agenda.

Hope you figure it out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"If the rope is there, you can chase it, or you can be the person she fell for and pull yourselves back together.

Enough metaphors. As said earlier. Communication is key. Lots of things affect how well that works. You wouldnt give a rational discussion on BLM just after dropping a brick on your foot. Likewise lockdown is not normal for ANYONE. Gently tackling in a safe way when pressure subsides elsewhere. Cut yourselves some slack rather than the rope

No I’m serious.. she’s fucked off on a boat and... meh.

I get it. Thankyou for not just calling me a jerk. "

Guess that’s why ‘she drifted away’

TC fella x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi OP, hope you are well.

Cut yourself both some slack, you’ve so much going on. Take a step back, go back to basics, have a date night, make her feel special, appreciated, a simple thing like making dinner and just chatting, laughing with no agenda.

Hope you figure it out "

So do I spurs. Hope your well all considering x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oubleA123Couple
over a year ago

berwick

We, that's us and two grown up kids, have all been back living together in the same house again. It has brought its strains, but we are all learning to live with each other again. For me, Andy, it's the longest I have lived at home for years! Biggest issue for us as a couple is no privacy even to talk ourselves most of the time.

It's certainly not been a bad time for us. But we very much appreciate that we have probably been lucky as a family during this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire


"I dont think its fair to say to get back what you put in. Sometimes people are just shitty to each other. I rejoined fab as a knee jerk reaction to getting cheated on, wanted to get even and not feel like such a victim and then covid happened and I havent met anyone. I also would never meet someone who had a partner. I dont judge but I wouldnt feel good about that. "
oh dear revenge sex isnt great I feel for u I do, but if u chose to stay with him then u have to find a way to accept it if you cant then u need to move on , but revenge sex idnt the answer , no matter how hard your finding it x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston


"Yeah. Put buz in.. she doesn’t feel attractive.. no buzz comes out. It’s pushing me away.

Women need to feel loved to enjoy sex, Men need sex to feel loved.

You could replace "love" with attractive/happy/etc.

People focus in when they have too much time on their hands. Weight, skin, muscle tone all become targets for self-criticism. You may genuinely disagree and not see why she cannot see it. That then becomes the source of the argument.

Break the cycle, show her you give a shit, and mean it (no sex strings attached) and she will give it back in return "

I agree with you in part. But I've been on the other side of the coin where I had a husband who wasn't interested. It wasn't through lack of attention, excitement or loving on my part.

People are complex creatures and I think to say do X and she/he will respond is very simplistic.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Marriage wise everything is fine & nothing has changed as both been working. It’s the kids/home schooling/food bill/boredom that’s the issue

J x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

Longest we've ever been solidly together is 3.5 weeks but on holiday you have external stimulus and being out and about.

We've managed well so far and only had the usual small inconsequential bickers.

We're both sick of the sight of each other a bit so we keep sitting in different rooms.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are getting on better than ever . It has really surprised us as well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

No problems at all in lockdown here and just had our 25th wedding anniversary.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had a great lockdown...lots of loving, very few disagreements and lots of naughty fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

We are fine, but spend all our time together anyway, but I know there are many who are struggling.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I imagine that for married people who find their emotional or sexual release outside of their relationship lockdown has been really difficult. It isn't always the fault of the person who looks outside, sometimes they're driven to it for one reason or another.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No issues here thankfully, it’s been no different to before lockdown.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Marriage wise everything is fine & nothing has changed as both been working. It’s the kids/home schooling/food bill/boredom that’s the issue

J x"

Same here. Just gets on top of us somedays and we bicker a bit. Doesn't help not having any time on our own and also missing having fun with other people. Overall though we are doing well really x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marriage not really changed. Both key workers so out as normal. Balancing the home schooling with the kids has been the more stressful part.

Weekends have been tougher though. Trying to force conversation

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a slightly different way - I deal with DV survivors (SW) It's got way too busy for my job. Just awful out there at the moment and seems to be getting worse x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't have found anything better than spending lockdown with my husband. I guess if you're on here as a couple then that makes a difference to those who are cheating.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not been a problem I am one of the lucky ones who think my Mrs is sexy and she is my best friend

Make the most of what you have xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We do count ourselves as very lucky to have each other during these tough times ..x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

No problems at all in my marriage.

It probably helps that we have both continued to work throughout.

We have enjoyed the extra time together but are missing other aspects of our lives.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

Not struggling at all. Fab is extra fun, not a necessity in our sex life. We are very lucky to have each other and he's hot as fuck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I imagine that for married people who find their emotional or sexual release outside of their relationship lockdown has been really difficult. It isn't always the fault of the person who looks outside, sometimes they're driven to it for one reason or another. "

Our question is have they tried talking before they look elsewhere?

Most are too selfish to be honest we find and simply use the situation as an excuse to cheat.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Would love her to be like you all. But she’s just not interested.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top