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The funny joke thread

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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP   Man
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

A bloke on the train showed me a picture of his wife, and asked if i thought she was sexy.

I said: “If you think she’s beautiful you should see my mate’s wife.”

“Is she a stunner?” he asked.

“No she’s an optician,” I replied.

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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP   Man
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

An old bloke hires a hit man to kill his wife of 40 years.

The hitman says "I'll shoot her just below her left tit"

The husband replies "I want her dead not fucking kneecapped!"

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