FabSwingers.com forum: How do you handle yours?

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or, do still waters run deep.

I am bit of both I suppose. But, I got into row at work Tbh it wasn't much of a row, as I gave them what for!

I could have handled it so much better.

This person was taking liberties and gave me a very hollow meaningless apology and I wouldn't accept it.

Once my anger had died down I felt bad.

I accepted their second apology..I knew they now meant it

I wish I'd handled it better in the first instance.

How do these kind of situations?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

Do you find it easy to call someone out on bad behaviour?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well just had a very extreme request from profile so I feel abit

and don't know how to feel with it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you find it easy to call someone out on bad behaviour?

"
and on bad behaviour yeah have call out people during my old work just way I was been spoking too ,just give them a stern warning with eyes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I am very comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. I'm good at keeping a calm facade and staying reasonable even when I'm actually seething inside.

I don't like conflict or aggression, but if I have an issue I want to resolve it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I am very comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. I'm good at keeping a calm facade and staying reasonable even when I'm actually seething inside.

I don't like conflict or aggression, but if I have an issue I want to resolve it."

My regret is that I couldn't keep a cool facade.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/06/20 12:29:31]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a temper. I say what I think if confronted but when cool again, am ready to apologise or accept apologies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Do you find it easy to call someone out on bad behaviour?

and on bad behaviour yeah have call out people during my old work just way I was been spoking too ,just give them a stern warning with eyes"

sometimes, eyes don't say enough!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am very comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. I'm good at keeping a calm facade and staying reasonable even when I'm actually seething inside.

I don't like conflict or aggression, but if I have an issue I want to resolve it.

My regret is that I couldn't keep a cool facade.

"
well only so much someone can take

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes the anger takes better of us. How about apologising to them for your burst. Would that make things better ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I am naturally logical, calm and diplomatic, it takes something serious to get me to lose control,

People have tried to push my buttons to get a reaction but are swiftly disappointed when they realise I won't take the bait and will just walk away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"well just had a very extreme request from profile so I feel abit

and don't know how to feel with it

I am the same sometimes, when pushed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Sometimes the anger takes better of us. How about apologising to them for your burst. Would that make things better ? "

I think I will do this. It happened Friday so I will sort it out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or, do still waters run deep.

I am bit of both I suppose. But, I got into row at work Tbh it wasn't much of a row, as I gave them what for!

I could have handled it so much better.

This person was taking liberties and gave me a very hollow meaningless apology and I wouldn't accept it.

Once my anger had died down I felt bad.

I accepted their second apology..I knew they now meant it

I wish I'd handled it better in the first instance.

How do these kind of situations?

"
I’m the type of person who leaves things go but they build up and up until I snap ..It’s something I’m working on but I’m a work in progress..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I am naturally logical, calm and diplomatic, it takes something serious to get me to lose control,

People have tried to push my buttons to get a reaction but are swiftly disappointed when they realise I won't take the bait and will just walk away "

I really am a what you see is what you get. But I really don't find myself in those situations often.

I need to get a game face on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or, do still waters run deep.

I am bit of both I suppose. But, I got into row at work Tbh it wasn't much of a row, as I gave them what for!

I could have handled it so much better.

This person was taking liberties and gave me a very hollow meaningless apology and I wouldn't accept it.

Once my anger had died down I felt bad.

I accepted their second apology..I knew they now meant it

I wish I'd handled it better in the first instance.

How do these kind of situations?

I’m the type of person who leaves things go but they build up and up until I snap ..It’s something I’m working on but I’m a work in progress.."

I am also a work in progress. There's always room for improvement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes the anger takes better of us. How about apologising to them for your burst. Would that make things better ?

I think I will do this. It happened Friday so I will sort it out."

Sounds like a good plan.. if you feel this would serve you both well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a sensitive soul and I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I love I love hard and can actually forgive quite a lot.

That means people can and do take advantage of my kindness.

Sometimes though I can also cut people off as a way of dealing with my hurt. And once they are out, they are out. No way back in.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm very fiery, but I've learnt to control my temper a lot better than my younger hot-headed self could. I'm definitely not one to avoid confrontation though, I will always let somebody know if I don't appreciate their behaviour, especially at work.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Sometimes the anger takes better of us. How about apologising to them for your burst. Would that make things better ?

I think I will do this. It happened Friday so I will sort it out."

I know a lot of people who get fired up, never causes an issue if we can move past it once things are calmer.

I hope you manage to resolve things and ease your mind.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

[Removed by poster at 14/06/20 12:54:07]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm not a very good angry and get irrational and say stupid things when I am - so I generally try and avoid those situations until I am calmer and can express myself better.

Which doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself or hide my true feelings away, I am very much heart on sleeve but prefer to reveal it on my terms and when I am ready to do so.

I also don't tend to bear grudges and prefer to move on, and put it behind us, once an argument is done - unfortunately that's very much dependent on the other person being willing to do so also.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a really long fuse, I don’t often lose my temper, and I never ever lose my temper at work. With work issues, being happy to ‘agree to disagree’ doesn’t really work because it causes friction within a team. Everyone needs to be singing from the same songbook, luckily I’m happy to have uncomfortable conversations to resolve issues. Once they’re resolved, it’s dealt with. Done. Move on. I never hold grudges and would expect to be offered the same professional curtesy.

I’m glad they apologised to you and you were able to accept. Hopefully you’ll both be able to draw a line under it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I'm not a very good angry and get irrational and say stupid things when I am - so I generally try and avoid those situations until I am calmer and can express myself better.

Which doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself or hide my true feelings away, I am very much heart on sleeve but prefer to reveal it on my terms and when I am ready to do so.

I also don't tend to bear grudges and prefer to move on, and put it behind us, once an argument is done - unfortunately that's very much dependent on the other person being willing to do so also."

Me neither, I don't hold grudges.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different scenarios evoque and require different responses.

Some may know I'm a welding foreman but for different reasons I'm working weekend night shifts as security for the company whilst being on call for welding issues in the week.

As the factory is positioned just 200 metres from a perminent Gypsy site I get almost weekly confrontations with regular attempts of break in.

When theres an issue I have to be aggressive and can't ever appear to back down, this would show weakness and I'd be seen as someone who they could fuck with.

As a foreman I deal with a few guys who do nothing but whinge, they require a different approach. If I loose my temper there they walk away thinking they've won, a sarcastic comment and smile works better.

Should I think later I was in the wrong I'll say so and apologise.

Outside of work in daily life I'm naturally a non confrontational person and in past relationships I'm always the one who makes up even if I think they were wrong, this I see as a character flaw though as it's usually ended in me being walked on.

If you think you were in the right Belle then don't apologise, in time they will doubtless make the move to you and smooth it over like nothing has happened.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have a foul temper, and often let it slip.

most of the time deserved, however im grown up enough to know when i need to apologise, and i do just that.

but im really not one for keeping calm when a situation probably needs it most.

no self control. People are allowed flaws right?

like you OP, there's plenty of times i wish i could've handled some things better.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On my sleeve, if something’s got to be said I say it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm direct and to the point. I don't like things to simmer under the surface, that just leads to bad feeling. I prefer to address things head on. I have to do this with my team at work now and then. I don't find it that easy sometimes and does mean that you end up having difficult conversations, but I think it's better in the long run.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or, do still waters run deep.

I am a bit of both.

But also have a temper that goes up one minute back down in no time if im left alone.

if not I boil.

Been a single parent and a daughter has been fun, with father and daughter falling out.

I dont do the usual man stance as I cant.

if we fall out one of us has to get intouch with the other no matter whos in the wrong.

Though it does make me wonder how you ladies go on with fall outs with your daughters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Do you find it easy to call someone out on bad behaviour?

I’ll make it known I’m not happy and probably avoid confrontation if it’s someone I like, but If I feel they’re being a dick without cause yep, I’ll call them out.

We all say things we regret sometimes but it’s having the conviction to go back and apologise I respect people for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have a foul temper, and often let it slip.

most of the time deserved, however im grown up enough to know when i need to apologise, and i do just that.

but im really not one for keeping calm when a situation probably needs it most.

no self control. People are allowed flaws right?

like you OP, there's plenty of times i wish i could've handled some things better.

Px"
ginger snap same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

They most definitely deserved to be called out on their behaviour, and the meaningless apology just fuelled my reaction.

They did apologise again and I was grateful for it and this time I knew they meant it.

I thanked them for the apology and know that I could just leave it now.

But, my reaction just doesn't sit right with me.

So, I will apologise for this and move on.

Thanks for your your thoughts. It helped to put me to get my head straight x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I wear my heart on my sleeve most of the time, both professionally and personally if I like/respect the person I'm more likely to let my grievance be known by talking it through in a (what I hope is) considered manner. I can be a bit hot headed at times and almost "fight" back but as I've got older I'm less so. I hope you do what you need to OP and feel better about it soon x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I had a full on blow out at work 2 years ago. I told them all they were a bunch of back stabbing bitches who were all too scared to say it to each other’s faces. I then said I was going home so they could all talk about me behind my back.

It was needed. I felt better. Things improved. For a while anyway.

J x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Or, do still waters run deep.

I am bit of both I suppose. But, I got into row at work Tbh it wasn't much of a row, as I gave them what for!

I could have handled it so much better.

This person was taking liberties and gave me a very hollow meaningless apology and I wouldn't accept it.

Once my anger had died down I felt bad.

I accepted their second apology..I knew they now meant it

I wish I'd handled it better in the first instance.

How do these kind of situations?

I’m the type of person who leaves things go but they build up and up until I snap ..It’s something I’m working on but I’m a work in progress.."

That's me too.

More at work though than home life....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's OK to feel anger and ok to express it when necessary and appropriate. It isn't OK to use anger to shut down certain conversations, intimidate or prevent people from asking questions.

Sometimes anger makes people realise how strongly you feel about something

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I tend to not express anger often enough though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *palWoman
over a year ago

The Bermuda Triangle in Suffolk

"I'm a sensitive soul and I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I love I love hard and can actually forgive quite a lot.

That means people can and do take advantage of my kindness.

Sometimes though I can also cut people off as a way of dealing with my hurt. And once they are out, they are out. No way back in.

That is me too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ourayloversCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

Unfortunatly I have zero filter as I wrongly assume everyone has the same level of confidence as myself and no subject is taboo I do say things in a tactful way and very rarely offend or make derogatory remarks

I know when I need to wind my neck in as I feel the look from Lou lol

Ray

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21 OP Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I'm a sensitive soul and I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I love I love hard and can actually forgive quite a lot.

That means people can and do take advantage of my kindness.

Sometimes though I can also cut people off as a way of dealing with my hurt. And once they are out, they are out. No way back in.

That is me too. "

Taking kindness as a weakness is probably why the person at work tried to take advantage of me.

I would normally crack on but enough was enough!

And then it is I who feels bad about the outcome.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reat me rightWoman
over a year ago

Rotherham

"well just had a very extreme request from profile so I feel abit

and don't know how to feel with it

Block and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's OK to feel anger and ok to express it when necessary and appropriate. It isn't OK to use anger to shut down certain conversations, intimidate or prevent people from asking questions.

Sometimes anger makes people realise how strongly you feel about something "

Sometimes it does. Sometimes people arent capable of reading even such a strong clue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use my sleeve to wipe my nose.

My heart is worn in my pants

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread