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"We took the decision to remain child free and seeing people at work at the moment and how badly they are coping at the moment have totally reinforced that decision for me... I could not think of anything worse right now " A friend and I at work this week who have adult children (21yrs) living at home, both said we’d have gone mad if our kids were at primary school age during the lockdown ![]() | |||
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"Is anyone else noticing the feeling of never having had any children at the moment? Have you felt it before and if so how did you deal with it?" There's always time for men, my dad was 60 odd when I was born... must of be a stud muffin ![]() | |||
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"I never wanted kids, didn't play with dolls as a child, never felt broody. I couldn't have them anyway until my late 30's. However I did decide that if I ever changed my mind that I would adopt, but I never did change my mind. I admire people who do it but its never been for me. Am I selfish? Hell yes! Will I die lonely with no family to look after me? Probably yes, but that's no reason to have kids. For me there were many many more cons than pros to having them. People say that you change once you have one, but some parents don't, and I didn't want to risk being a bad parent. I honestly don't think I would be cut out to be a good parent. " I know quite a few people that regret having children. They say they love them and I believe them - but if they had the chance again they wouldn't have had them. It's not something you can take back. | |||
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" I know quite a few people that regret having children. They say they love them and I believe them - but if they had the chance again they wouldn't have had them. It's not something you can take back. " That's so sad. ![]() | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day" Big hugs xx | |||
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"I know quite a few people that regret having children. They say they love them and I believe them - but if they had the chance again they wouldn't have had them. It's not something you can take back. " That's me, 2 kids decade apart both for wrong reasons & just makes life harder as the dads are no where to be seen, very little support too. To the point, I can't work until god knows when since schools are only going back part time. I wouldn't do it again & it's also why I'm sterilised now....never again, my spirit is wild & free but trapped. | |||
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"I could have easily not had kids. But now I have them, they are the best things in my life. I don't understand the lockdown would be terrible with kids brigade. Why would anyone hate spending time with their own kids?! Yeah they're hard work but anything worth doing is. " Personally, I wouldn't expect a man to understand they are rarely the main or sole caregiver & certainly get more time away than women do, be that at work, socialising or in the man cave etc. Even a single man get more support than a single woman does typically. Put it this way been doing this since 15! So they are my entire life & have given up everything for them, they go almost every where with me. Kids are difficult especially when they have mental disorders like adhd, autism etc...it's draining with little to no breaks, my youngest only went to sleep an hour ago! So personally I don't get even some of the evening free. Don't vilify people for not wanting to spend time with their kids permanently, we all need a break & some want to live life to the full not spend their lives cleaning up after small people, listening to constant whining/talking/vying and being able to go do things when they want & how they want. Put it this way, both my sisters seen how hard it was/is for me & decided not to have any of their own. They weren't a support base either. | |||
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"Is anyone else noticing the feeling of never having had any children at the moment? Have you felt it before and if so how did you deal with it?" Having had three I don't seem to get that feeling very often. Luke | |||
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"I know quite a few people that regret having children. They say they love them and I believe them - but if they had the chance again they wouldn't have had them. It's not something you can take back. That's me, 2 kids decade apart both for wrong reasons & just makes life harder as the dads are no where to be seen, very little support too. To the point, I can't work until god knows when since schools are only going back part time. I wouldn't do it again & it's also why I'm sterilised now....never again, my spirit is wild & free but trapped. " Hugs to you x So many people won't admit they regret having their kids. And are genuinely surprised when they are born at how difficult it is. Being a parent doesn’t come naturally for a lot of people. I never had that broody feeling and don't enjoy being around children. I'm finally at an age now where people have stopped asking me when I'm going to have them ![]() | |||
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"Child-less Or Child-free? " The two are often equated and they're really not equal. It's not good for anyone. | |||
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"Child-less Or Child-free? The two are often equated and they're really not equal. It's not good for anyone." They're not equal at all. For a long time I was child free, and glad of it as I wouldn't want to be tied to any of my exes forever. The last few years I've definitely been child-less and the pain of 10 miscarriages has finally come in to roost. But that's life. It's a bit pants most of the time, and I'm lucky that I've got nephews and "nieces" to keep me in minipeep cuddles. Usually, virus permitting | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day" So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony. | |||
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"Child-less Or Child-free? The two are often equated and they're really not equal. It's not good for anyone. They're not equal at all. For a long time I was child free, and glad of it as I wouldn't want to be tied to any of my exes forever. The last few years I've definitely been child-less and the pain of 10 miscarriages has finally come in to roost. But that's life. It's a bit pants most of the time, and I'm lucky that I've got nephews and "nieces" to keep me in minipeep cuddles. Usually, virus permitting " Big hugs. I'm childfree and believe I'll remain so, but, I support you. | |||
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"Child-less Or Child-free? The two are often equated and they're really not equal. It's not good for anyone. They're not equal at all. For a long time I was child free, and glad of it as I wouldn't want to be tied to any of my exes forever. The last few years I've definitely been child-less and the pain of 10 miscarriages has finally come in to roost. But that's life. It's a bit pants most of the time, and I'm lucky that I've got nephews and "nieces" to keep me in minipeep cuddles. Usually, virus permitting Big hugs. I'm childfree and believe I'll remain so, but, I support you." ![]() | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony." You still have a chance to be a mum, there are lots of adoptions needed if it can't happen for you naturally...maybe that's your destiny...to be a mum to those who have lost theirs. | |||
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"I could have easily not had kids. But now I have them, they are the best things in my life. I don't understand the lockdown would be terrible with kids brigade. Why would anyone hate spending time with their own kids?! Yeah they're hard work but anything worth doing is. " Being with my kid has been one of the best things about lockdown. Having a kid has made me less selfish in many ways. Life doesn't just revolve around me. ![]() | |||
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"Is anyone else noticing the feeling of never having had any children at the moment? Have you felt it before and if so how did you deal with it?" What a great question. I never wanted kids. And then the witch that became my ex forced them on me. And they have been my best achievement by miles. I'm am forever thankful. That said I've not been allowed to see much of them and that hurts. This period of isolation has been hard in so many ways... In a perfect world it would be great to have 3 months isolation to ponder the answers to life's greatest challenges... But for me and I guess for quite a few it is an emotional challenge for which we aren't very well equipped...and we have time and space to think about things that we would normally have put in a box in the filing cabinet in the storage facility right at the back of our minds. I'm guessing like all things we want but can't have, when you see the tragedies suffered by others it makes you appreciate what we do have. | |||
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"Is anyone else noticing the feeling of never having had any children at the moment? Have you felt it before and if so how did you deal with it?" I've never had and never want kids. I don't like them and it's just not something I like the idea of or see as part of my future. So I'm fine with it. | |||
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"I've been though stages were I thought about it because society says I should, people telling me "your parents deserve grandkids","what if you regret not having them" etc but then I know that's no reason to have them,plus I'm one of four so another sibling can give them grandkids (they have one from my older brother now)and I'd rather regret not having them than regret having them, As me and my partner are nearly 34 and 44 and neither of us have a want or a need to become parents it's all good with us " My mother demands grandchildren. ![]() | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony. You still have a chance to be a mum, there are lots of adoptions needed if it can't happen for you naturally...maybe that's your destiny...to be a mum to those who have lost theirs." Being blunt, the whole why don’t you adopt thing really pisses me off. Most people have no idea what it entails. Adoption is not as easy as people think! My ex husband and I were turned down when we applied to adopt 10 years ago when I was 35. The reason given was that I had a credit card debt at age 19. They said that was evidence that we were not responsible with finances so not suitable to parent a child! | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony. You still have a chance to be a mum, there are lots of adoptions needed if it can't happen for you naturally...maybe that's your destiny...to be a mum to those who have lost theirs. Being blunt, the whole why don’t you adopt thing really pisses me off. Most people have no idea what it entails. Adoption is not as easy as people think! My ex husband and I were turned down when we applied to adopt 10 years ago when I was 35. The reason given was that I had a credit card debt at age 19. They said that was evidence that we were not responsible with finances so not suitable to parent a child!" Hugs xx | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony. You still have a chance to be a mum, there are lots of adoptions needed if it can't happen for you naturally...maybe that's your destiny...to be a mum to those who have lost theirs. Being blunt, the whole why don’t you adopt thing really pisses me off. Most people have no idea what it entails. Adoption is not as easy as people think! My ex husband and I were turned down when we applied to adopt 10 years ago when I was 35. The reason given was that I had a credit card debt at age 19. They said that was evidence that we were not responsible with finances so not suitable to parent a child! Hugs xx" That's what gets me with adoption they but unrealistic demands on people that would be a normal part of life to someone having there own child, if you can give that child a happy safe loving home that is what matters | |||
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"As someone who spent 15 years trying to have a child, suffered recurrent miscarriages and secondary infertility and has been unable to have children, it’s something that never leaves me. It’s always there in the back of mind every single day So sorry... Thank you for sharing your moving testimony. You still have a chance to be a mum, there are lots of adoptions needed if it can't happen for you naturally...maybe that's your destiny...to be a mum to those who have lost theirs. Being blunt, the whole why don’t you adopt thing really pisses me off. Most people have no idea what it entails. Adoption is not as easy as people think! My ex husband and I were turned down when we applied to adopt 10 years ago when I was 35. The reason given was that I had a credit card debt at age 19. They said that was evidence that we were not responsible with finances so not suitable to parent a child!" That's complete bull that they hit you with that & absolutely not a valid reason. Have they looked outside to working class families...debt is part of it all, dumbasses. It's probably a big part of the reason some kids stay in care all their days. Debt is nothing compared to what the kids experience in care....the only reason I didn't give mine up, I'd suffer before I seen them in there. I know people get annoyed with it because the system sucks, I wasn't intending to harm, I was thinking internationally or even in a care kinda setting too at the but that's probably just as bad. Sorry. | |||
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"Is anyone else noticing the feeling of never having had any children at the moment? Have you felt it before and if so how did you deal with it?" No yes dont know | |||
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