FabSwingers.com forum: Do women ever message first

By *cottishspark OP Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Do any of you women message first x

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Sometimes, but it tends to be about something I've read in a post that I want to discuss further but for whatever reason, don't want to discuss it on the forum.

I very rarely send a message unprompted.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Some do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They do ... just not many do as they get so many messages .. bit of a kop out but hey

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

Yes they do.

Some send a message for something you wrote on the forums.

They do message for a meet.

Many say thankyou for something nice thats been done for them.

You would be surprised on how many are shocked that you did something nice for them.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

If they did I’d be way too suspicious

something would surely be off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do any of you women message first x"

Do any of you women message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm seeing a 30 year old lass I met on here. She messaged me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I have private messaged any women first. I am a lazy bugger!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm seeing a 30 year old lass I met on here. She messaged me

Has she asked for your mother's maiden name, name of your first pet, road you grew up in etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm seeing a 30 year old lass I met on here. She messaged me

Has she asked for your mother's maiden name, name of your first pet, road you grew up in etc?"

Actually met her in person,just because I'm not the most attractive man doesn't mean I can't pull!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Actually when I used to be interested in meeting when I was on my old profile, I used to use my filters to block everyone and only message those who interested me. Everyone who I've met, I messaged them first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm seeing a 30 year old lass I met on here. She messaged me

Has she asked for your mother's maiden name, name of your first pet, road you grew up in etc?

Actually met her in person,just because I'm not the most attractive man doesn't mean I can't pull!"

Easy easy tiger! I was only joking!

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By *othin 2 proveCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

obviousley most couples and woman are bombarded with messages and if I replied to everyone it would get ridicules with the amount of conversations that would start and I would be lost in the middle of it all. So if a guy sends a cock pic and say something like, Love to fuck ya! I pass it by. But if someone uses their brains and says something with a bit of imagination and not the usual run of the mill stuff.Then I will have a look and possibly reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine doesn’t and never would due to shyness and Bob Marley was also wrong as she doesn’t bleed either.

I’m sure some do though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have with me it's usually regarding a forum post....

However I have received a few winks, that's as good as a message I'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have and do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've messaged for forum games, but otherwise I don't think i have. I did wink first once at someone on my hotlist

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Some do and they’re really nice to receive.

Even if, like me, you’re knee-deep in clunge all the time it’s still good to talk to new people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Yes

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I used to do it time to time but it doesn’t work for me to be honest. I end up meeting maybe 1 or 2 people whom I message first.

I decided it’s better if they find me or message me first instead

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Yes I do. It might be reassuring to know that I don’t always get a reply, and a few have gone quiet after suggesting meeting up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally. I met my fwb "support bubble" in here by messaging him first.

Most guys don't give us chance to though as they've already messaged us!

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I get the occasional first message from women. It’s always a nice surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally but normally buried under messages from men

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Have done but normally only in response to a status or foum post.

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

I tend to wink at a guy if im interested and then see what message i get on the back of it. If its an obvious copy & paste i loose interest preety fast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally.. it depends on how interesting their profile is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Occasionally. I met my fwb "support bubble" in here by messaging him first.

Most guys don't give us chance to though as they've already messaged us!"

Very true

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London/Lincoln

I have to put the 'Nosingle women' filter on to stop the deluge

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By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

Yes they do! Often!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of my best meets have happened from a message stated by them

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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Occasionally if a guy has a very hot profile. But it's hard enough work reading all the messages from single guys we recieve daily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually think the concept of this works really well, like a dating app that is pretty popular at the moment. You match but as a man you can't message first so it's relays heavily on the lady making the initial connection.

I think this works as it stops the hundreds of messages that women recieve daily plus it stops the guy getting lost amongst that.

Something fab could evolve to perhaps?

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I recall messaging twice in the year I've been on here. I've become good friends with one of them as a result.

Both were platonic messages relating to something I'd seen/read.

It never really crosses my mind to hunt. It's a job enough to manage the inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes......if something on the profile or said in forum sparks enough curiosity....

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

I do if I'm interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Usually prompted by the interesting forum comment

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London/Lincoln

I had a message from a woman once..chatted for a week...arranged to meet...went to hers...did the deed...I'd been blocked by the time I got home

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By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

"Yes. Usually prompted by the interesting forum comment

*thinks of something interesting to say*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occasionally they do

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

The messages we get are from fakes. Only fake thing here are nails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do any of you women message first x"

No never from memory

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Yep! I have no issue with it. If I like someone, I'll tell them

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, often.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

Yes they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, think I’ve had more messages this week from women than men.

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

I have messaged first quite a lot yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like getting messaged first

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Yes I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I do "

I know

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By *ps7891Man
over a year ago

SW London

"Do any of you women message first x"

My first meet messaged me first...she was obviously hungry

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Pandora 30 Aug

I've messaged first quite a few times

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By *91kMan
over a year ago

Maidstone

Very occasionally, it's nice when they do though

makes a change for sure

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

When it does happens, normally asking you to add them on SC or sending a link to their AW or OF page

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Yes I do! If I like what I see I go for it. Why wouldn’t you?!

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By *DGF20Man
over a year ago

Dublin

Maybe not much as guys but yeah they definitely do.

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Only ones that turned out to be blokes faking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, it's how I met my fwb

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Bexley

We have messaged guys first but most seem to have very short profiles which don't give us much to go on so it can be a bit of a lottery. Like all women and couples here we get lots of messages so it's much simpler to just review these and reply to the guys who match what we're looking for.

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By *oudLoutishLoverWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

I never have, personally, unless it’s to comment on a forum thread.

I think I’d be too crushed if they took one look at my profile and said, ‘I’ll pass’!

My only communication is with people who message me first. Gutless, I know.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I get the odd message out of the blue. Every couple of weeks. When it happens it’s lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By *odgerMan
over a year ago

Coventry(ish)London/Lincoln

"I never have, personally, unless it’s to comment on a forum thread.

I think I’d be too crushed if they took one look at my profile and said, ‘I’ll pass’!

My only communication is with people who message me first. Gutless, I know."

Well you can't message

But I guess that joke isn't funny anymore!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. Usually prompted by the interesting forum comment

*thinks of something interesting to say*

Still thinking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've received a few messages from women who contacted me first. Then after couple messages back and forth became very clear that they were touting for business..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never have, personally, unless it’s to comment on a forum thread.

I think I’d be too crushed if they took one look at my profile and said, ‘I’ll pass’!

My only communication is with people who message me first. Gutless, I know."

We can't be liked by everyone but I find it difficult to believe many would pass on you. Just my humble opinion but you are one of the most attractive ladies on here.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Yes, but it's rare.

Most seem to have a bit of a complex about messaging first. Like as if they're undervaluing themselves by doing it and that they're putting themselves up for rejection.

However, if I'm on the forums, I sometimes get "I hope you don't mind me messaging, but..." And then something interesting about a thread. Of course, I like these messages, so I wish they wouldn't say "I hope you don't mind me messaging".

It's just the way it is.

I've had some completely unsolicited messages too but these are very rare, but well received. They tend to be "Hey, I loved such and such a pic. How are you?".

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"I never have, personally, unless it’s to comment on a forum thread.

I think I’d be too crushed if they took one look at my profile and said, ‘I’ll pass’!

My only communication is with people who message me first. Gutless, I know."

Yes, super super common. I guess women have more fragile egos or something. Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do any of you women message first x"

Yes some do

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By *exy7Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Never had a conversation here I initiated by a female. I guess I can

Only blame my profile and the absence of face pics as well as the fact that the vast majority of members are male. I should go to a club and get verifications before standing a shadow of a chance...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I have private messaged any women first. I am a lazy bugger!"

bullshitttttttt, sorry I sneezed

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Do any of you women message first x"
I did once or twice on my single profile after I joined, having got up the courage to, just to be ignored, so I stopped. I'm now in a couple and we haven't as yet

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Do any of you women message first xI did once or twice on my single profile after I joined, having got up the courage to, just to be ignored, so I stopped. I'm now in a couple and we haven't as yet "

You got ignored? What selfish bastards!

Bahahahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup I have many a time

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Yep, I do!

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I never msg unless they msg me or they wink , i'm shy and boring with msg i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe one day you'll find out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection, Rejection, Rejection ...

This is one area where women are generally weaker than men. As a man we are trained from a young age to “throw enough mud” ... and to take rejection in our stride. I think I was 12 years old when I was first dumped and humiliated (at school).

... on the flip side ... I try to see who’s is noticing me (looks, winks, fabs) before I message - but I always over the moon when she makes the first move !!

... obviously I still generally fuck it up with bad patter afterwards - but I’m working on that !!!

hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message first? Why of course. It's my USP :D I believe I do it quite well too, if I say so myself !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, to those I'm interested in I always send the first message

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Rejection, Rejection, Rejection ...

... on the flip side ... I try to see who’s is noticing me (looks, winks, fabs) before I message - but I always over the moon when she makes the first move !!

... obviously I still generally fuck it up with bad patter afterwards - but I’m working on that !!!

hahaha

Haha, interesting isn't it?

Same, I was bullied every day for years. In the end, I just didn't give a fuck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha, interesting isn't it?

Same, I was bullied every day for years. In the end, I just didn't give a fuck! "

Absolutely interesting !

I just wish feminism had advanced to the stage where everyday was like I was in a lap dance club !!!

Haha

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Haha, interesting isn't it?

Same, I was bullied every day for years. In the end, I just didn't give a fuck!

Absolutely interesting !

I just wish feminism had advanced to the stage where everyday was like I was in a lap dance club !!!

Haha

Haha!!!

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

If someone captures my interest enough then I'll message first. It's usually as a result of a bit of interaction on the forums, if they make me laugh or say something that intrigues me.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric bikes

Now that would be nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only speak with people from the forums. I usually message first if I think they’re funny/interesting and I want to get to know them better

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

If they didn't I would have never got laid on here.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

Yes. If they peak my interest I message first.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"I only speak with people from the forums. I usually message first if I think they’re funny/interesting and I want to get to know them better

So did you think I was funny, interesting or both?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a rarity, for myself at least but it does happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only speak with people from the forums. I usually message first if I think they’re funny/interesting and I want to get to know them better

So did you think I was funny, interesting or both?"

I have a feeling you mentioned a cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of us never get messaged first because we are so ugly but got to make do with what you got

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