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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Whats yours?

Serious funny or a piss take

Thick as a bulls dick- classic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reality doesn't give a single, solitary fuck what you think.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I usually find Fuck Off You Cockwomble gets the job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Timmy"

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By *ill-Ian KissesCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere over there

Hakuna Matata

Millie x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose "

You no me so well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep seeing the quote on women's profiles, "if I was meant to be controlled, I would have come with a remote." Jokes on them, I've been turning women off for years without a remote!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dilligaf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a gynaecologist but I know a cunt when I see one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People want champagne for lemonade money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always OK in the end. If it's not OK, it is not the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blessed is the mind too small for doubt"

Mr.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Take the risk

Forget the fall

If its what you want

It's worth it all

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

It's nice to be important

But it's more important to be nice.

Scooter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waste not want not

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By *uck1buddyMan
over a year ago

midlands

Same taste, different flavour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tits first, I’m not a slag xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tits first, I’m not a slag xx"

We're going to need some context for that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tits first, I’m not a slag xx

We're going to need some context for that one "

It’s a Gayle Tuesday quote, about going on a date, heard it when I was about 14 and thought it was hilarious, and stayed with me. Viv xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tits first, I’m not a slag xx

We're going to need some context for that one

It’s a Gayle Tuesday quote, about going on a date, heard it when I was about 14 and thought it was hilarious, and stayed with me. Viv xx"

Yes, but tits first as opposed to what? Google has failed me

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

ramsey

"Is what it is"

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

ramsey


""Timmy""
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tits first, I’m not a slag xx

We're going to need some context for that one

It’s a Gayle Tuesday quote, about going on a date, heard it when I was about 14 and thought it was hilarious, and stayed with me. Viv xx

Yes, but tits first as opposed to what? Google has failed me "

Haha, ok, soooo if, at the end of a date you decide to do the sex bit, no going straight for the intercourse, have to grope the busoms first.

I’m a lady, so live by this code, haha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Timmy" this "

Hated that!! All we heard one year at Download. Loads of people yelling it out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tits first, I’m not a slag xx

We're going to need some context for that one

It’s a Gayle Tuesday quote, about going on a date, heard it when I was about 14 and thought it was hilarious, and stayed with me. Viv xx

Yes, but tits first as opposed to what? Google has failed me

Haha, ok, soooo if, at the end of a date you decide to do the sex bit, no going straight for the intercourse, have to grope the busoms first.

I’m a lady, so live by this code, haha xx"

With that bosom, I can hardly blame you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love people

Use things

The other way doesn't work

X

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By *annybi54Man
over a year ago

ayr

Fits like a finger up a bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may as well as wish you had.

If life was easy it would be boring.

I'm too old for this shit.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Just get on with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do it because I can, I can because I want to, and I want to because you said I couldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck Boris

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

The Lord helps those who help themselves...

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Or in the case of looters,

Those who help themselves are blessed by the Lord ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

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By *othin 2 proveCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

Frankly my dear I don't give a dam.

(Gone with the wind) XX

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By *ourney100Man
over a year ago

South East

In a world full of sheep be the wolf

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A man's gotta know his limitations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Requests will be Considered demands will be ignored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few but the one that has stood out to me the most is:

FEAR has 2 meanings.

Forget Everything And Run

Or

Face Everything And Rise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t trouble trouble, ‘till trouble troubles you

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire


"I have a few but the one that has stood out to me the most is:

FEAR has 2 meanings.

Forget Everything And Run

Or

Face Everything And Rise "

Now the Ian Brown song is in my head...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also like:

You're either a puddle or you're an ocean.

People walk through puddles like they're nothing. Oceans fucking destroy cities!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be a cunt.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Look after your broom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“(name) you’re so full of shit”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“All I see is queers an steers and I don’t see no horns on you boy!”

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Hold it up to the light, not a brain in sight

Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Makes two short planks look like a computer

You couldn't punch clay that ugly

Not a saying, but describing ugly people as a "sketch", as in rough drawing (and before anyone points it out, I know full well I'm no oil painting. More of an oil slick...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(Her) “I thought you were only gonna give me half?” (Me) “That’s was half honey!....The back half!!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I got for Christmas was a feed of ass and a pair of socks! And they were both too goddam big!!

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By *HE PROBLEMMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it enough.

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By *ngel_vs_devil33Woman
over a year ago

i’ll let you know

You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough- Bob Marley

Or my other favourite is

Suck it up buttercup,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather have a wank with sandpaper in my hand

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Better to live one day as a wolf than one hundred days as a sheep...

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By *entish_HeathenMan
over a year ago

Chatham

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Work Rest And Play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You remind me of all 20 letters of the Alphabet

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Two sayings stick in my mind.

1). My school teacher during exams, seeing us anxiously watching the clock in the exam room, said... "Time will pass, will you? You can use it in life!"

2) A saying, extremely apt in current times globally, from the American writer, Isaac Asimov...

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couple that have been handed down are:

That’s what she said to me last night

You wouldn’t like it as a wart on the end if your nose

Normally the go to at work is an simple exasperated FFS!

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

YEET

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

That's about as useful as a fart in a spacesuit. Thanks Dad for that, wonderful and still funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont worry about things you cant control

Never eat yellow snow

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