FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Minimilism.

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've seen a doc, read a website.. The lifestyle, not the fashion trend.

Any others know of it, looking at it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've seen a doc, read a website.. The lifestyle, not the fashion trend.

Any others know of it, looking at it? "

Do you mean minimalism? Only know about the art movement...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's something I've been interested in for a long time.

The idea of living with less and less financial burden is definitely appealing.

I like the back to basics idea of it all but in reality I think I'm just aiming for more simplicity.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’ve been steadily getting rid of stuff, not replacing clothes, buying less , simplifying cooking, cancelling direct debits etc for a few years now is this what you mean ?

It’s hugely rewarding , also replacing the buzz physical things with experiences and deeper relationships

Happy to chat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *endydick.CumbersnatchMan
over a year ago

.

Yes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK as I'm going tomorrow it doesn't matter who knows.. So I'm going to share my story. I'll be gone when most read it but I'll try and point folks in a similar direction as the one I plan to take.

Me, I'm 48,a dad a brother, divorcee, ex cop, ex convict and soon with a little help and some basic changes an ex sex addict.

What?

I know, had it all, the house, the car and a long career.. Threw it all away.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

About 96, I got my career off the ground, brilliant at first but eventually a nightmare of stress, trauma and adrenalin into the mix. How did I cope? Well drugs were out.. Couldn't drink with shifts so I went to the gym at work.. My testosterone levels must have been off the charts. Thrill seeking quickly followed including me finding out about the swinging scene.

Toxic mix.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

All was good or so I thought, until my distractions started to show at home and eventually that relationship died on the vine after 13 or so years.

Within 2 weeks I was in another relationship.

Why, because I'd met someone at work. We had a great life together great sex and eventually became a swinging couple.

We really enjoyed ourselves did clubs, hotels and private home meets. I was working crazy shifts, working out and trying to keep a lid on it all.

By 2010 or thereabouts the cracks were beginning to show at work. I got on trouble, I wasn't performing as I should etc my heart wasn't in it or more truthfully I was distracted.

After a weekend out together, On Monday morning I was already messaging other couples trying to sort out club meets or other meets for our next free time together.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It got to the stage that I'd be exhausted on the following Monday having spent the whole weekend either swinging or trying to.and so it went, never occurred to me I had an issue.

Anyway by 2015 I messed up big time at work, got too friendly (emails, texts, in person) with a member of the public whilst on and off duty - strictly offside... You just can't, and I did, and admitted it by which time it was too late.

Career in flames, relationship trashed looking at jail.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What's this got to do with minimalism (ta)?

Well, you get the point.. Instead of being the master of my own destiny, I'd become the master of my own destruction.

I did around 4 months jail time, during which I was not unfairly divorced and moved out of the home.

I didn't feel like u deserved it because I failed to recognise that I had done it to myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, minimalism..

It's a documentary on crapflix. All I'll say is watch it if you have a spare 45 mins.

It caused me to question the items around me in my home but more importantly, the two guys in the film make it clear that the decluttering of your material possessions is like a chain reaction. Watch it, you'll see what I mean.

Over a very short time, I became aware that shit like TV, fab, porn etc is also stuff that's junk and needs to be decluttered.

I don't know enough about this minimalism lifestyle yet as it's early days..

But, so far it's helped me identify the root cause of the damage I've caused to myself, previous long term partners and family.

I'm not going to be a monk by the way, far from it. I'm just going to see if the SAA might help me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The two guys I'm reading about, listening to etc go by the name of 'the minimalists' they have a site by the same name. It's all free, no registration etc.. Lots of information.

I cant say I'm going to succeed in putting my life back together in a form that I want, going forward but I can say that what little I've read and seen has been of benefit.

And after a rather long explanation.. That's why I'm writing this.

If it might help me, it might help somebody else.

I'm gone from the site by tomorrow evening.

Any poisonous comments, untruths or suggestions of anything other than what I've said here... will be entirely a you guys problem. It's the hairy ugly truth, nothing more nothing less.

Ill ask that anyone who wants a chat about the above..

Please send an email address or something before tomorrow evening.

Swingers are beautiful people, vibrant, funny, liberated, imperfect and different by design.

Have fun x stay safe x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Thanks to the op for his openness. It's refreshing. He sounds like a great person to know. Wishing him success with the next stage, minimalism. I'll be looking at it. Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"The two guys I'm reading about, listening to etc go by the name of 'the minimalists' they have a site by the same name. It's all free, no registration etc.. Lots of information.

I cant say I'm going to succeed in putting my life back together in a form that I want, going forward but I can say that what little I've read and seen has been of benefit.

And after a rather long explanation.. That's why I'm writing this.

If it might help me, it might help somebody else.

I'm gone from the site by tomorrow evening.

Any poisonous comments, untruths or suggestions of anything other than what I've said here... will be entirely a you guys problem. It's the hairy ugly truth, nothing more nothing less.

Ill ask that anyone who wants a chat about the above..

Please send an email address or something before tomorrow evening.

Swingers are beautiful people, vibrant, funny, liberated, imperfect and different by design.

Have fun x stay safe x

"

Interesting.

I think physical decluttering is often the first step but what you describe is process of self awareness by removing things you dint value - stuff, relationships, negative thoughts etc.

I would just advise anyone doing this to also think about what you put into the space you create, it can be dangerous if you are vulnerable it can make you lonely. When the buzz of physical things, addictions and negative conversation is gone you value different things. calendars are good for being proactive in relationships. A well planned calendar is a plan for the type of person you wish to become

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks guys.

That's what's interesting about these guys, they say that lots of the 'stuff' we think we like is actually interference..preventing us from knowing ourselves, mainly because we're obsessed with getting that new game, phone, car etc.. In fact the advertisers have us programmed perfectly to view the stuff we've already consumed as somehow being outdated the moment we buy it.

They also say,take away the crap but be very selective and deliberate in the replacement choices.

Only replace things that give value, emotional or otherwise.

The idea isn't to go without anything, it's to be ruthlessly selective about what does or does not make us.. Happy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Thanks guys.

That's what's interesting about these guys, they say that lots of the 'stuff' we think we like is actually interference..preventing us from knowing ourselves, mainly because we're obsessed with getting that new game, phone, car etc.. In fact the advertisers have us programmed perfectly to view the stuff we've already consumed as somehow being outdated the moment we buy it.

They also say,take away the crap but be very selective and deliberate in the replacement choices.

Only replace things that give value, emotional or otherwise.

The idea isn't to go without anything, it's to be ruthlessly selective about what does or does not make us.. Happy.

"

We often don’t know what makes us happy as we have no space to even think about it properly.

I must of read dozens, if not hundreds of books on leadership all taking about vision, personal vision, and out of that comes plans and actions

But very few books have been written about creating vision - about formulating a future state. Art, biographies, music, poetry etc can all inspire but can also lead you to copy or follow rather than create.

I think wisdom comes slowly....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yep I'm under no illusions there will be set backs but it's a start.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thing I did was packing 3 pairs of pants in a rucksack and disappearing round the world for a year. If you aren't careful your possessions end up possessing you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

Interesting read. Best of luck OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Best thing I did was packing 3 pairs of pants in a rucksack and disappearing round the world for a year. If you aren't careful your possessions end up possessing you. "

Three?

Hang on if wear inside out and also back to front and pack a can of “Day 2” dry spray wash, I think 1 pair is enough if you wash them every 8th day

More effort on minimising please

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top