Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to The Lounge |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Candidate?  "She is a good candidate for playing she loves sex and adventures. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Candidate?
She is a good candidate for playing she loves sex and adventures."I don’t understand this response in the context of your OP?  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Candidate?
She is a good candidate for playing she loves sex and adventures."I thought you said she was a bit prim and proper and cant relax sexually , which is it , I dont understand  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Opening up? The mind boggles  "It's like shes a tin of Baked Beans or something | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Opening up? The mind boggles
It's like shes a tin of Baked Beans or something "I was thinking fish and chip shop | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. " Doesn't sound like a good "candidate" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Opening up? The mind boggles "It must be the lockdown effect  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. " She looked 'relaxed' on the 5th May love!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Obviously the swinging world has changed in the last 10 years i dont understand why no one seems to understand the OP is it a thing now that instead of being helpful people whant a deep analitical study of the question. Things have certainly changed here." We can only help if we understand what you mean. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. " Have you tried talking her? Have you explained that you perceive that she finds it hard to relax sexually and would like to understand why? Can you comfortably, sensitively and honestly express to her how you feel and what you would like to experience with her sexually? Is there a possibility that she has an inkling that you’re seeking thrills elsewhere and this is causing her to lack confidence or faith in the strength of her marriage? If you do want more with her and you love and respect her, I’d suggest caring, honest communication would be a more helpful starter for ten than asking strangers on a swing site forum. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. Have you tried talking her? Have you explained that you perceive that she finds it hard to relax sexually and would like to understand why? Can you comfortably, sensitively and honestly express to her how you feel and what you would like to experience with her sexually? Is there a possibility that she has an inkling that you’re seeking thrills elsewhere and this is causing her to lack confidence or faith in the strength of her marriage? If you do want more with her and you love and respect her, I’d suggest caring, honest communication would be a more helpful starter for ten than asking strangers on a swing site forum. " Thanks sam for your response i thought i had posted during a dullards party! Yes i have tried talking to her but she is very shy and doesnt like to talk about sex which is my main problem as i find myself doing a lot of guessing. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you need to ask her what she wants, not us. " Do something nice to make her relax like a nice romantic dinner , a couple glasses of wine may help them just talk openly without judging her. Make sure you listen, really, really listen, you might need to adjust your ears if this is new to you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My wife is getting interested in playing had her tits felt a couple of times after parties but not let another man take her knickers off yet" Now thats where i need to mine to that would be a great leap forward. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you need to ask her what she wants, not us. Do something nice to make her relax like a nice romantic dinner , a couple glasses of wine may help them just talk openly without judging her. Make sure you listen, really, really listen, you might need to adjust your ears if this is new to you " She can loosen up with a couple of drinks but she only drinks rarely | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think you need to ask her what she wants, not us. Do something nice to make her relax like a nice romantic dinner , a couple glasses of wine may help them just talk openly without judging her. Make sure you listen, really, really listen, you might need to adjust your ears if this is new to you " I don't offer advice on these types of threads but the above is almost word for word what I thought on reading the op. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does she want to loosen up and have some fun? By the sounds of your OP, it doesn’t sound like she does " This is the problem she just wont enter into the conversation she just gets very shy almost as though she worries about what ill think of her. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"ha.. you know her better than anyone, if you don't know, I am sure we don't" ...and this! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. Have you tried talking her? Have you explained that you perceive that she finds it hard to relax sexually and would like to understand why? Can you comfortably, sensitively and honestly express to her how you feel and what you would like to experience with her sexually? Is there a possibility that she has an inkling that you’re seeking thrills elsewhere and this is causing her to lack confidence or faith in the strength of her marriage? If you do want more with her and you love and respect her, I’d suggest caring, honest communication would be a more helpful starter for ten than asking strangers on a swing site forum. Thanks sam for your response i thought i had posted during a dullards party! Yes i have tried talking to her but she is very shy and doesnt like to talk about sex which is my main problem as i find myself doing a lot of guessing. " Maybe it's your approach that's wrong for her: 1.Sarcasm 2.Little digs about her (maybe) lack of confidence. 3.You might be piling on the pressure! Whatever it is, allow her to go her own pace. Or else it could be perceived as mental bullying! Good luck OP! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness " Iv just suggested something up there ^^^^^^ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness Iv just suggested something up there ^^^^^^" Yeah saw that | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Maybe she is standing for Lord Mayor" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. Have you tried talking her? Have you explained that you perceive that she finds it hard to relax sexually and would like to understand why? Can you comfortably, sensitively and honestly express to her how you feel and what you would like to experience with her sexually? Is there a possibility that she has an inkling that you’re seeking thrills elsewhere and this is causing her to lack confidence or faith in the strength of her marriage? If you do want more with her and you love and respect her, I’d suggest caring, honest communication would be a more helpful starter for ten than asking strangers on a swing site forum. Thanks sam for your response i thought i had posted during a dullards party! Yes i have tried talking to her but she is very shy and doesnt like to talk about sex which is my main problem as i find myself doing a lot of guessing. Maybe it's your approach that's wrong for her: 1.Sarcasm 2.Little digs about her (maybe) lack of confidence. 3.You might be piling on the pressure! Whatever it is, allow her to go her own pace. Or else it could be perceived as mental bullying! Good luck OP! "There are books about this, so a forum is limited. There are still a lot of people around who were brought up thinking sex and desire were dirty. They can also see expression of desire outside the vanilla as disloyal and immoral. You may see your partner as a desireable sexual being, but her background or your approach may block her 'hearing' you. Its all about joint communication. The only way you have access to help her (if we even accept she needs 'helping') is by creating an environment where she might feel comfortable discussing with you. Non-judgemental, no agenda, and 'no drugs' openness, perhaps beginning with what you enjoy, what you like and those difficult subjects about you that show you are willing to explore without fear, then - as said earlier - get your listening ears on  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness " What is it that you want from her? Can you articulate what and why? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Can anyone help me with some tips on how to get my wife to loosen up and have some fun, she is a really good candidate but is a bit prim and finds it hard to relax sexually. Have you tried talking her? Have you explained that you perceive that she finds it hard to relax sexually and would like to understand why? Can you comfortably, sensitively and honestly express to her how you feel and what you would like to experience with her sexually? Is there a possibility that she has an inkling that you’re seeking thrills elsewhere and this is causing her to lack confidence or faith in the strength of her marriage? If you do want more with her and you love and respect her, I’d suggest caring, honest communication would be a more helpful starter for ten than asking strangers on a swing site forum. Thanks sam for your response i thought i had posted during a dullards party! Yes i have tried talking to her but she is very shy and doesnt like to talk about sex which is my main problem as i find myself doing a lot of guessing. Maybe it's your approach that's wrong for her: 1.Sarcasm 2.Little digs about her (maybe) lack of confidence. 3.You might be piling on the pressure! Whatever it is, allow her to go her own pace. Or else it could be perceived as mental bullying! Good luck OP!
There are books about this, so a forum is limited. There are still a lot of people around who were brought up thinking sex and desire were dirty. They can also see expression of desire outside the vanilla as disloyal and immoral. You may see your partner as a desireable sexual being, but her background or your approach may block her 'hearing' you. Its all about joint communication. The only way you have access to help her (if we even accept she needs 'helping') is by creating an environment where she might feel comfortable discussing with you. Non-judgemental, no agenda, and 'no drugs' openness, perhaps beginning with what you enjoy, what you like and those difficult subjects about you that show you are willing to explore without fear, then - as said earlier - get your listening ears on "Nicely put.... But, I was thinking the lady might be menopausal and with some females, that changes everything... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness What is it that you want from her? Can you articulate what and why? " I certainly can and have but again her shyness steps in and it really is shyness nothing else and it puts up a big barrier. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness What is it that you want from her? Can you articulate what and why? I certainly can and have but again her shyness steps in and it really is shyness nothing else and it puts up a big barrier." That sounds like an assumption more than something you know for certain. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness What is it that you want from her? Can you articulate what and why? I certainly can and have but again her shyness steps in and it really is shyness nothing else and it puts up a big barrier." I think it’s time to respect her wishes then. Treat her with kindness and respect and focus on your relationship together and look at other ways that include and accommodate her wishes and desires. Sex drives for both men and women change. Peoples’ own confidence and self value change over time. Respect and be kind to her as well as yourself. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Does she want to loosen up and have some fun? By the sounds of your OP, it doesn’t sound like she does This is the problem she just wont enter into the conversation she just gets very shy almost as though she worries about what ill think of her." She's a grown adult. Maybe she just isn't interested? If you've let her know you're comfortable with her being in this lifestyle then there isn't much else you can do. If she is ever ready to jump in and talk about it more she will if you are open with your communication. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've read quite a few posts like this and the response very much depends on how the op is expressed and the perceived intent. I think that if the couple work together on their emotional communication then sexual communication will follow. It seems to me though that often women want the emotional communication in order to sexually communicate and men want it the other way round. A common theme also seems to be that the woman in these circumstances refuses to talk. I don't know the answer but wonder if sitting down and explaining how important this is to you, asking how you can help her to talk more openly and how she can help you discover what her emotional and sexual needs are would help. " Totally agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness " That alone is a huge pressure for her. Living up to how spicy things were with your ex. If she isn't interested in swinging then you need to respect that unless getting your end away with other people is more important to you than she is. Either way, communication is necessary to actually establish where you're at and what's expected of you and what you expect of her. P | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness That alone is a huge pressure for her. Living up to how spicy things were with your ex. If she isn't interested in swinging then you need to respect that unless getting your end away with other people is more important to you than she is. Either way, communication is necessary to actually establish where you're at and what's expected of you and what you expect of her. P" Completely this. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness " You mean you 'know how it all worked' for your ex, not your current partner who might not respond well to this lifestyle or manipulation! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As with any opening, you should begin by speaking to the candidate. " Well said | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was actually looking for some ideas to spice things up a bit. My ex and i were swingers for 25 years so i know how it all works my problem is i dont know how to over come her shyness You mean you 'know how it all worked' for your ex, not your current partner who might not respond well to this lifestyle or manipulation!" No manipulation involved and she has a strong personality not one to be manipulated or pressuered | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Show her your profile, it might be a conversation starter "She already knows about my profile | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Have you tried a tin-opener? " Maybe she needs a jemmy ? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
