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A tribute to Tim.

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

No-one on here knew Tim, he died two weeks ago. I have spent these two weeks trying to figure out how I feel about this, and, with tomorrow being Tim's funeral, I think I have it figured.

Tim wasnt a relative, and we hadnt seen much of each other over the past few years, but he still meant a lot to me.

I met Tim when I was a mature student at college. I was 28, he was 18. We soon hit it off, and started going rock climbing together. Although there were a few of us in our climbing group, I only ever felt safe when climbing with Tim, and he felt the same with me. We soon developed a real "brothers" type bond, and got into some real "gnarly" climbing situations together, sometimes only surviving through a mixture of luck and fate.

Tim helped me push my climbing grade, and also opened my eyes to life in general, bit of a switch there, usually in that type of situation it would be the older person doing the "awakening" stuff.

One day, as it was chucking it down with rain, we hit a cafe for coffee, and started talking. Tim had been subdued, but opened up about a dream he had had.

In it, he was in a car with a friend, and after a crash, the car caught fire and he and his friend were trapped.

He was spooked, and said it almost made him stop going out with me that day, as I had a wife and two kids and he didnt want it to happen to me. I took the piss, which was our way of getting through things like this, and told him he was going to live forever cos "only the good die young".

Fast forward a few years, and Tim's dream came true. He and a friend had a car crash, and got trapped in the car that went up in flames. Tim was 31. It seems I was wrong, he was one of the good guys.

I keep hoping he was dead before the flames got him, but evidence from the people in the other car involved suggests otherwise.

Was he psychic? I didnt believe in all that crap, until 1030pm on the 19th Sept, when I woke up in bed after hearing him call my name.

That was the exact time of the accident.

Now I know he's still out there somewhere, taking the piss and having a laugh at my expense.

I will not be going to the funeral, I would far rather remember him as he was.

I am going to dust off my nuts and cams, my descendeurs and belay devices, buy some new ropes and get out there again, see if I cant find another "Tim".

I have realised that everyone needs someone that into who's hands you can literally put your life.

I miss you bro.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so sorry to hear your loss and thank you very much for sharing Tim's story with us.

glad you had many great times and may you both have many more great times in the next life dude.

my best regards

garry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know you, you dont know me, but reading that has brought a tear to my eye.

I do believe in after life etc, Ive had a few experiences of my own, unexplained yes, coincedence who knows.

My thoughts are with you x

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"so sorry to hear your loss and thank you very much for sharing Tim's story with us.

glad you had many great times and may you both have many more great times in the next life dude.

my best regards

garry"

Thanks.

Having a bit of an off day as it happens.

After having to come to terms with the fact that he could reach out to me like that, I now find myself wondering what else I was sure of that is wrong.

I am starting to think that maybe there is an "afterlife" which means I cant be an aetheist, can I?

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

great you dont have many friends like that keep your chin up thats what he would have wanted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think the afterlife has anything to do with mainstream religion, I just dont think we go and thats it, I shall give you an example of my experiences.

I was very close to my grandad as a child, to me he was the greatest man ever, still is, anyhow, he passed away and as I was driving to my parents I approached a rounabout, the road was quiet, not another vehicle in site, but I heard my grandad saying look right, as I did boy racers were coming round the roundabout at about 50mph, if I had pulled out I would have been killed. Another time, I had a dream about a fishing boat, my grandad was a keen fisherman in his younger days, in the dream he was with me holding my hand on the pier and we were watching a fishing boat in trouble, we called for help but the fishing boat sank. When I woke up fishermen off the coast of Scotland had been killed.

So yes I do think Tim will appear to you again and again, never to hurt or distress you, just to comfort you and to let you know he wont ever leave your life x

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

having come very close to death myself on a number of occassions, I now also find myself wondering if I am, as I always thought, one of lifes good guys..... surely I should have croaked before now if I was?

Two weeks this shit has been going round in my head, only conclusion I can reach is that I need to go get d*unk!!!

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

nice thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If thats what you think will give you comfort do it, youre grieving, do what is best for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No-one on here knew Tim, he died two weeks ago. I have spent these two weeks trying to figure out how I feel about this, and, with tomorrow being Tim's funeral, I think I have it figured.

Tim wasnt a relative, and we hadnt seen much of each other over the past few years, but he still meant a lot to me.

I met Tim when I was a mature student at college. I was 28, he was 18. We soon hit it off, and started going rock climbing together. Although there were a few of us in our climbing group, I only ever felt safe when climbing with Tim, and he felt the same with me. We soon developed a real "brothers" type bond, and got into some real "gnarly" climbing situations together, sometimes only surviving through a mixture of luck and fate.

Tim helped me push my climbing grade, and also opened my eyes to life in general, bit of a switch there, usually in that type of situation it would be the older person doing the "awakening" stuff.

One day, as it was chucking it down with rain, we hit a cafe for coffee, and started talking. Tim had been subdued, but opened up about a dream he had had.

In it, he was in a car with a friend, and after a crash, the car caught fire and he and his friend were trapped.

He was spooked, and said it almost made him stop going out with me that day, as I had a wife and two kids and he didnt want it to happen to me. I took the piss, which was our way of getting through things like this, and told him he was going to live forever cos "only the good die young".

Fast forward a few years, and Tim's dream came true. He and a friend had a car crash, and got trapped in the car that went up in flames. Tim was 31. It seems I was wrong, he was one of the good guys.

I keep hoping he was dead before the flames got him, but evidence from the people in the other car involved suggests otherwise.

Was he psychic? I didnt believe in all that crap, until 1030pm on the 19th Sept, when I woke up in bed after hearing him call my name.

That was the exact time of the accident.

Now I know he's still out there somewhere, taking the piss and having a laugh at my expense.

I will not be going to the funeral, I would far rather remember him as he was.

I am going to dust off my nuts and cams, my descendeurs and belay devices, buy some new ropes and get out there again, see if I cant find another "Tim".

I have realised that everyone needs someone that into who's hands you can literally put your life.

I miss you bro.

"

That has just sent a shiver down my spine

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon


"If thats what you think will give you comfort do it, youre grieving, do what is best for you x"

Strange thing is, its only today that its all really bothering me..... thought I was cool with all of it, but I guess thats ther grieving process.

I think the need to get d*unk is just cos I am thinking about all of this way too much.

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

"That has just sent a shiver down my spine"

Sorry, hope it doesnt screw up anyone's day, not sure why I posted, heads a bit all over the shop today.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I'm glad that you posted your story, I am in tears but you are lucky to have had such a great friend, can't write anything else, lots of love to you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grief is different for all of us, we all handle it in different ways and this is your way of dealing with it hun.

If you need to get d*unk then do it, If you need to post this then do it, its what you need to do and thats all that matters.

I am a big believer in the afterlife and totally un religious, they are there to keep an eye on you and comfort you.

All the good die young? not all of them, lots are still around years later.

I also believe in fate and that when its your time its your time. So Tim's dream was as you say right and personally I don't think his path could have changed (as I say thats my personal belief) .

You had 13 years with him, remember the memories and get yourself out climbing again.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Words are never enough just hope you remember all those piss take times and they still bring a smile to your eyes in the years to come

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"No-one on here knew Tim, he died two weeks ago. I have spent these two weeks trying to figure out how I feel about this, and, with tomorrow being Tim's funeral, I think I have it figured.

Tim wasnt a relative, and we hadnt seen much of each other over the past few years, but he still meant a lot to me.

I feel truly humbled by your sharing this experience of friendship, happiness, love and ultimately loss with us so publicly. There is/ was so much depth in your friendship

I met Tim when I was a mature student at college. I was 28, he was 18. We soon hit it off, and started going rock climbing together. Although there were a few of us in our climbing group, I only ever felt safe when climbing with Tim, and he felt the same with me. We soon developed a real "brothers" type bond, and got into some real "gnarly" climbing situations together, sometimes only surviving through a mixture of luck and fate.

Tim helped me push my climbing grade, and also opened my eyes to life in general, bit of a switch there, usually in that type of situation it would be the older person doing the "awakening" stuff.

One day, as it was chucking it down with rain, we hit a cafe for coffee, and started talking. Tim had been subdued, but opened up about a dream he had had.

In it, he was in a car with a friend, and after a crash, the car caught fire and he and his friend were trapped.

He was spooked, and said it almost made him stop going out with me that day, as I had a wife and two kids and he didnt want it to happen to me. I took the piss, which was our way of getting through things like this, and told him he was going to live forever cos "only the good die young".

Fast forward a few years, and Tim's dream came true. He and a friend had a car crash, and got trapped in the car that went up in flames. Tim was 31. It seems I was wrong, he was one of the good guys.

I keep hoping he was dead before the flames got him, but evidence from the people in the other car involved suggests otherwise.

Was he psychic? I didnt believe in all that crap, until 1030pm on the 19th Sept, when I woke up in bed after hearing him call my name.

That was the exact time of the accident.

Now I know he's still out there somewhere, taking the piss and having a laugh at my expense.

I will not be going to the funeral, I would far rather remember him as he was.

I am going to dust off my nuts and cams, my descendeurs and belay devices, buy some new ropes and get out there again, see if I cant find another "Tim".

I have realised that everyone needs someone that into who's hands you can literally put your life.

I miss you bro.

"

Thank you for sharing this life experience of happiness, friendship, humour and ultimately loss with all of us. There is so much depth in what you have written, so much honesty and genuine reflection.. I feel very humbled, even honoured to have had a glimpse of it. In a way, you brought Tim to all of us.. and as such I feel he is alive, whatever your beliefs, creeds, orientations... I am sad for you for what you are going through right now and I hope that sharing it with us on here... will bring you a little bit of comfort? xx

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

thank you for sharing such a great story of your time together, and i'm sure that you'll link up again somewhere sometime, best wish's from me XXXX

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By *thwalescpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

brecon

So, its been three years, and life has a funny way of providing.

I spent months trying to find someone who I could climb with.

I climbed with different groups, made friends, but never felt that "bond", that closeness necessary for a safe climbing partnership.

I also became more open to other things, examined my beliefs and opinions.

But still that one thing eluded me, until 10 days ago, when, out of the blue, someone I had known for a long time asked me to take him climbing.

I had taken him a couple of times in the past, but he was too young and too small to be a successful partner, but he has grown into a fine young man.

At first I was reluctant to move to the next level, the type of climbing Tim and I did together, until this young man said something that I had never heard anyone else say.... except Tim.

When I asked him why he used that particular phrase, he said he didn't know, it just popped into his head.

That's when I knew that Tim was still around, watching and providing his input.

Sometimes, when you are looking for something, you cloud the water by trying too hard, and often don't see what's right in front of you.

So, now my son and I are off to buy his first adult climbing harness, and some other gear, and then hit the hills.

I already feel more at ease about going climbing, and I know we will soon be pushing each other on, having a laugh and experiencing that buzz that only climbing with someone you trust can bring.

Sometimes you just have to wait, and what you are looking for will present itself.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

so pleased that it has worked out for you. Hope you guys have great fun climbing !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a lovely and moving story. I wish you and your son hours of fun climbing xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very moving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read both parts to this thread your friend Tim is with you and always will be. He is looking after you. Happy climbing mate enjoy each challenge as they appear. Yes I had a tear in my eye was very moving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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