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Being owned by a Dom

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By *ensual-dominant-passion OP   Man
over a year ago

sheffield

I had a very interesting conversation with a women... she said she was owned by a Dom... she said I will have to ask his permission... as she never plays with other men unless he decides she can and that I would have to message him and ask his permission... I said does your Dom meet other women and does he ask you if you are ok with it...? She said no... he is my master he can do as he pleases I would never question him... but yet he decides if you can play with other men or not..

I just thought the Sub Dom thing was an activity in the bedroom but actually life controlling? Is this what it’s about...

To me this seems like a one sided selfish controlled fantasy by someone with an ego as high as the sky....

Oh and ignore the other thread lol misspelling

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

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By *orenzoVonMatterhornMan
over a year ago

Lincoln

There's no hard and fast rule about how people do it. Each to their own.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Those are the terms they've mutually agreed (I assume) and as long as both are happy I can't see a problem with it.

It's just a bedroom activity for some but for others it's more.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle"

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Every Dom/sub dynamic, just like all relationships, is different. How it works is agreed between the people involved.

K

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By *ensual-dominant-passion OP   Man
over a year ago

sheffield


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread."

I respect their rules... that’s why I would not ask his permission.. no way I am feeding someone’s ego... but each to their own.... I just couldn’t understand the concept of that particular agreement

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

D/s and BDSM is a very broad spectrum which at one end can amount to no more than a little kink to add some spice to a sex life but at the other can include complete control 24/7 even down to things like what a submissive eats and wears.

The key is whether those involved in such a relationship at any point on that spectrum are informed and consenting and happy with how the relationship works.

There are *some* on both sides of the D/s coin who do go blindly into situations without fully understanding them or having sufficient knowledge to consent and that is when it is dangerous and has the potential for abuse - but where people have that level of knowledge and are able to consent then if it's what works for them then good for them I say.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

I respect their rules... that’s why I would not ask his permission.. no way I am feeding someone’s ego... but each to their own.... I just couldn’t understand the concept of that particular agreement "

What leads you to believe its about his ego?

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

I respect their rules... that’s why I would not ask his permission.. no way I am feeding someone’s ego... but each to their own.... I just couldn’t understand the concept of that particular agreement "

Sounds like you don't really have an understanding of the D/s dynamic at all to be honest.

K

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By *ensual-dominant-passion OP   Man
over a year ago

sheffield


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

I respect their rules... that’s why I would not ask his permission.. no way I am feeding someone’s ego... but each to their own.... I just couldn’t understand the concept of that particular agreement

Sounds like you don't really have an understanding of the D/s dynamic at all to be honest.

I do understand it... but it seemed more of a thing to actually control her life and choices rather than taking control in the bedroom..

K"

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By *ensual-dominant-passion OP   Man
over a year ago

sheffield


"D/s and BDSM is a very broad spectrum which at one end can amount to no more than a little kink to add some spice to a sex life but at the other can include complete control 24/7 even down to things like what a submissive eats and wears.

The key is whether those involved in such a relationship at any point on that spectrum are informed and consenting and happy with how the relationship works.

There are *some* on both sides of the D/s coin who do go blindly into situations without fully understanding them or having sufficient knowledge to consent and that is when it is dangerous and has the potential for abuse - but where people have that level of knowledge and are able to consent then if it's what works for them then good for them I say."

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

I respect their rules... that’s why I would not ask his permission.. no way I am feeding someone’s ego... but each to their own.... I just couldn’t understand the concept of that particular agreement "

It's not necessarily for you to understand though - if they are happy with their relationship and how it works, then all you have to do is accept and respect that and comply with how they work, or decide it's not for you and move on to someone else.

Not seeking to be dismissive here and I *get* that it can be a difficult thing to get your head round as it probably goes against your "norms" but for those involved in a D/s relationship it can be their normal and how they have chosen to work - for a submissive a huge part of it is about pleasing their dominant and not about feeding an ego at all, so if this is one way of this lady pleasing her dominant then you have to accept that or as I said choose to move on if you can't.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

There are many many different layers to bdsm and d/s, each relationship is intricately tailored to fulfil the two people involved, what is not normal to you is very normal to others, it's a privilege to have a glimpse into a relationship that I understand, but would not wish to be involved in

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By *ensual-dominant-passion OP   Man
over a year ago

sheffield


"There are many many different layers to bdsm and d/s, each relationship is intricately tailored to fulfil the two people involved, what is not normal to you is very normal to others, it's a privilege to have a glimpse into a relationship that I understand, but would not wish to be involved in"

I do get the pleasing my master side of it... but him meeting other women wether she liked it or not... and she had to ask his permission to meet... I asked what if he met a women and you didn’t like it... she said even if I didn’t like it.. I wouldn’t question him.... I do as I’m told. I just didn’t understand that part.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Each to their own OP. Not for me though, I like my freedom too much.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"There are many many different layers to bdsm and d/s, each relationship is intricately tailored to fulfil the two people involved, what is not normal to you is very normal to others, it's a privilege to have a glimpse into a relationship that I understand, but would not wish to be involved in

I do get the pleasing my master side of it... but him meeting other women wether she liked it or not... and she had to ask his permission to meet... I asked what if he met a women and you didn’t like it... she said even if I didn’t like it.. I wouldn’t question him.... I do as I’m told. I just didn’t understand that part. "

Have a read about some of the different types of d/s relationships, not all parts are implemented by the dom, the sub can and will ask for certain things as well, can never assume it's all one sided in such a complex relationship

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Certainly not for me. I wish to lead my life the way i choose and would never in a million years refer to a man as my master.

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By *egalBeetleWoman
over a year ago

London

I've been in vanilla relationships in the past, that were open but I didnt actually see others and he did.

Some where I saw more people than him and some where we both had to seek 'permission' from each other.

Point is, even vanilla wise, there are things we do or compromises we make, with consent that one can do X that the other doesnt.

On a sexual level, I'm sure you and your partners have done things that the other didnt care for?

Some girls do anal for special p occasions blah blah blah.

Sub girls enjoy the protective level a Dom provides. He protects and watches over her and ensure the guys aren't D bags... which most are.

A good Dom will ensure the girls he sees know his dynamic and discuss how far things go.

So while he may not discuss if he can sleep, he has responsibilities as a Dom to his sub.

Anyway, to me it's all relative. Some girls never do 1:1s, will only meet in clubs or groups because men can be eejits. I feel like its along those lines too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are many many different layers to bdsm and d/s, each relationship is intricately tailored to fulfil the two people involved, what is not normal to you is very normal to others, it's a privilege to have a glimpse into a relationship that I understand, but would not wish to be involved in

I do get the pleasing my master side of it... but him meeting other women wether she liked it or not... and she had to ask his permission to meet... I asked what if he met a women and you didn’t like it... she said even if I didn’t like it.. I wouldn’t question him.... I do as I’m told. I just didn’t understand that part.

Have a read about some of the different types of d/s relationships, not all parts are implemented by the dom, the sub can and will ask for certain things as well, can never assume it's all one sided in such a complex relationship "

Very true x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Each to their own OP. Not for me though, I like my freedom too much. "

But that's the thing - for *some* submissives they find their freedom through their submission and being controlled, through not having to worry about making choices or having any concerns other than pleasing the person they submit to.

It's not for everyone of course, and I certainly couldn't live it 24/7, but being submissive in nature I can relate to it as an ideology regardless of where on the spectrum that submission sits.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I don't see many people complaining on behalf of males in female lead relationships or hot wife relationships where the wife can play and the man can't.

As someone who identified as a dom I had a rule that unless it was a double dom situation I did not privately top women who had a dom. I have been challenged on that stance a number of times but my view is firstly if I top someone, I am only want a bottom who gives their unfettered consent. Secondly I am not interested in being sub contracted as a dom to do the skill based connection. Thirdly (and entirely personal to me)) in my view D/S is so special I am not interested in sharing.

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden


"For some it's a bedroom activity

For others it's a lifestyle

yup respect their rules if you want to be involved. Ain’t retyping everything from the other “dam” thread.

I respect their rules... ...

Sounds like you don't really have an understanding of the D/s dynamic at all to be honest.

I do understand it... but it seemed more of a thing to actually control her life and choices rather than taking control in the bedroom..

K"

By that very answer oP it shows you don’t fully understand the dynamics of different D/s relationships.

As the person said. For some it’s the bedroom and for others it’s a lifestyle.

The true control is with the sub. The sub allows the Dom to dominate with the subs permission

If the Don is just dominating Without permission then that’s abuse and not D/s

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