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is cheating a solution?

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By *hesecretlover OP   Man
over a year ago

Leigh

I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

"

Sometimes you just have to try things in the moment of passion rather than asking

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 02/06/20 01:57:45]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Cheating can sometimes be a solution but is it something you want to do to your wife who you love very much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a mate who does that but it seems like hard work. More prostitutes and brothels than cheating cos he's got loads of kinks that most women are put off by so he does his thing. Be too much effort for me.

You might even know him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is too short just embrace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

Sometimes you just have to try things in the moment of passion rather than asking"

This! I would pretty much agree to anything when I am horny lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You love her so it's not a solution. If she was into it previously there is a hope you can revive that sparkle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you love her enjoy her and I’m time it may change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

"
next time you're both in bed just give it a try she just might like it or have you done it already and didn't go down too well

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By *hesecretlover OP   Man
over a year ago

Leigh

I don't like paid sex, I think there's no essence without real passion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/06/20 03:32:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating or deceiving someone is never a solution!

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By *oreno0969Man
over a year ago

Rugby

Are you on here as a couple as well as singles? If not the real question you need to ask yourself is "how would i feel if i found out my wife cheated on me" then theres your answer. Dont do to others that you dont like done to yourself

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By *oreno0969Man
over a year ago

Rugby

[Removed by poster at 02/06/20 03:54:36]

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Maybe she tried them to please you but didn't really like them, you need to have an open conversation with a lot of understanding for both of you if that's possible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does your wife know you've been on fab for over a year?

What kind of things do you want from her that she won't give?

I know that I'm a lot more adventurous & agreeable when I'm tingling all over from orgasms, maybe try pleasing her into submission!

She maybe prefers 'vanilla' sex because it's actually pleasurable for her & she's not into pain or humilliation.

Maybe she's exhausted from looking after the house & kids all day while you sit around moaning about your cock & how neglected it is so only just manages a quick vanilla sesh. Maybe she knows you have a secret fab & feels unloved, making adventurous sex even less likely.

Maybe the last time you tried one of your kinks, she couldnt shit right for a week & felt pain & embarrasment..

I've done a lot of things with Mr Shadow that do very little to please or pleasure me, and I'm only open to them when I don't feel pressured, when I'm feeling emotionally secure & when my body is in the right frame of mind (yes, womens bodies can often feel VERY out of whack at certain points of the month - cervical changes, changes in discharge, breast tenderness, headaches, temperature changes, pain tolerance changes etc etc)

Try TALKING to her, but YOU NEED TO BE WILLING TO LISTEN.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's your wife...respect her and talk to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating or deceiving someone is never a solution!"

This

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Living a lie causes stress and getting caught out causes heartache.

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By *edrickWoman
over a year ago

nottingham


"Cheating or deceiving someone is never a solution!"

Hooray!!!! Some sense here

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

It's never a solution the question you need to ask yourself is ,are u prepared to lose what you have?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

You may be uncomfortable with the sex converstions but they will be nothing compared to the cheating one.

I'd echo what's been said, try to introduce stuff in the heat of the moment. But don't rush it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is 'classic ' sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is 'classic ' sex?"

Maybe sex during 1800!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're letting her brush you off when you bring it up then you need to make her listen. Find out why she won't do it and you might be able to sort something out. Depends how weird you're trying to get but it could be a confidence thing. If she'll never do it and you can't live without it then make a decision. Better to lose a woman you love on good terms rather than go through years of shit later down the line. Been through this with people and they never listen. Find out where you stand if you care about her. If your saying the passion stuff then its gonna be carnage when you get caught. If shes saying we'll do it another time then it doesn't sound anything too extreme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no its a solid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

Sometimes you just have to try things in the moment of passion rather than asking

This! I would pretty much agree to anything when I am horny lol"

Hehe me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

Sometimes you just have to try things in the moment of passion rather than asking"

Couldnt agree more, ive had some great successes with this!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

o/p how is life outside the bedroom with your wife? She might more passionate in it if outside of the bedroom is good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're letting her brush you off when you bring it up then you need to make her listen. Find out why she won't do it and you might be able to sort something out. Depends how weird you're trying to get but it could be a confidence thing. If she'll never do it and you can't live without it then make a decision. Better to lose a woman you love on good terms rather than go through years of shit later down the line. Been through this with people and they never listen. Find out where you stand if you care about her. If your saying the passion stuff then its gonna be carnage when you get caught. If shes saying we'll do it another time then it doesn't sound anything too extreme. "

If she's enjoying the sex they have it's possible that she simply doesn't like the sound of things he's suggesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"o/p how is life outside the bedroom with your wife? She might more passionate in it if outside of the bedroom is good."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just shag around OP. What's the point in having a wife if she won't do all the sex things you want her to. Doesn't matter if she doesn't like it. Keep shagging her with classic sex and fuck strangers in all the other ways you really like. Don't get rid of her because then you'll have to do your own laundry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating or deceiving someone is never a solution!"

This ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you on here as a couple as well as singles? If not the real question you need to ask yourself is "how would i feel if i found out my wife cheated on me" then theres your answer. Dont do to others that you dont like done to yourself"

And this, but the OP been on here for over a year so that ship may have sailed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Living a lie causes stress and getting caught out causes heartache."

And this ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's never a solution the question you need to ask yourself is ,are u prepared to lose what you have? "

And this ^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never cheat mate, be a man, talk to her, if you want different things, then sometimes thats just life.

Being honest with yourself is the best feeling in the world

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Nowhere


"What is 'classic ' sex?"

I think it’s sex while a string quartet Is playing - and you shout out oooooh mr Darcy at the point of orgasm...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may be uncomfortable with the sex converstions but they will be nothing compared to the cheating one.

I'd echo what's been said, try to introduce stuff in the heat of the moment. But don't rush it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you"

And finally this ^

To add my thoughts...

Different angle for us "outsiders" not into cheaters/deception. I don't get it... really don't. How is it possible someone fucks around behind partner's back than goes home snuggles up... cuddles with loved ones... sex with partner (if they do) living multiple undercover lives... their children (if have any) and partner don't really know their true nature/instincts... as if nothing has happened... mind boggles! It takes a certain type of character/heart to cheat...

For us looking in from the outside and hopefully never be in that position to look for "solutions" outside of marriage please hear the following:

I never condone cheating because my views have always been clear in forums, but imagine you're in that position... your partner stops doing things you both once loved together... your "personal desires" against staying loyal to a loved one... your life partner! Yes there are some cheaters that "get off on it" excitement/risk factor or deception etc but there are a few that genuinely don't want to lose what they have and at same time can't control personal urges... hence go out, out!!

For me personally:

If I am in that position and I truly love someone as many of these cheaters keep saying "in a proper loving marriage" I would give up e.g. anal sex or anything else that we are not able to enjoy anymore. Won't risk losing everything and the ultimate betrayal... my god if that happened to me... don't know how I would recover from that!

That is why I have so much respect for couples on here and Fabbers that play alone with partners consent. They must have had these open and honest conversations... found real common ground, solid solutions and enhanced their sex lives without causing any hurt/pain.

One of the reasons why I love Fab is because by being on here I can learn/grow and follow footsteps of those that have shown a better way... if/when I find my match we will be having these discussions and if we stay on here together or not...

The things we could do and explore together

For now I am enjoying single life. If my match is out there come find me because my compass seems to be broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may be uncomfortable with the sex converstions but they will be nothing compared to the cheating one.

I'd echo what's been said, try to introduce stuff in the heat of the moment. But don't rush it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you

And finally this ^

To add my thoughts...

Different angle for us "outsiders" not into cheaters/deception. I don't get it... really don't. How is it possible someone fucks around behind partner's back than goes home snuggles up... cuddles with loved ones... sex with partner (if they do) living multiple undercover lives... their children (if have any) and partner don't really know their true nature/instincts... as if nothing has happened... mind boggles! It takes a certain type of character/heart to cheat...

For us looking in from the outside and hopefully never be in that position to look for "solutions" outside of marriage please hear the following:

I never condone cheating because my views have always been clear in forums, but imagine you're in that position... your partner stops doing things you both once loved together... your "personal desires" against staying loyal to a loved one... your life partner! Yes there are some cheaters that "get off on it" excitement/risk factor or deception etc but there are a few that genuinely don't want to lose what they have and at same time can't control personal urges... hence go out, out!!

For me personally:

If I am in that position and I truly love someone as many of these cheaters keep saying "in a proper loving marriage" I would give up e.g. anal sex or anything else that we are not able to enjoy anymore. Won't risk losing everything and the ultimate betrayal... my god if that happened to me... don't know how I would recover from that!

That is why I have so much respect for couples on here and Fabbers that play alone with partners consent. They must have had these open and honest conversations... found real common ground, solid solutions and enhanced their sex lives without causing any hurt/pain.

One of the reasons why I love Fab is because by being on here I can learn/grow and follow footsteps of those that have shown a better way... if/when I find my match we will be having these discussions and if we stay on here together or not...

The things we could do and explore together

For now I am enjoying single life. If my match is out there come find me because my compass seems to be broken "
hey this is a very well thought out analogy which i for one agree with and you can borrow my satnav any time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hey this is a very well thought out analogy which i for one agree with and you can borrow my satnav any time "

Satnav not full proof though... my one takes me to dead end sometimes... amount of "U turns" I had to do over the years to not get lost! Other times wants to redirect me long way round...

Unless you have a fancy posh latest tech satnav! Seen as the tech business is booming in 2020 might help me to get my sex life back one day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If shes brushing it off then it doesn't sound like she finds it alien. It could be anything but feeling like a pervs not great and shes not calling him a weirdo so they can talk it out if he stops letting her brush him off so easy. If you care for someone talk it out before doing something mad ffs. If he cheats and gets caught could take years sort his life out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hey this is a very well thought out analogy which i for one agree with and you can borrow my satnav any time

Satnav not full proof though... my one takes me to dead end sometimes... amount of "U turns" I had to do over the years to not get lost! Other times wants to redirect me long way round...

Unless you have a fancy posh latest tech satnav! Seen as the tech business is booming in 2020 might help me to get my sex life back one day!

"
no I'm afraid mines not full proof either it is at its most inaccurate when walking took me in a complete circle the other day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hey this is a very well thought out analogy which i for one agree with and you can borrow my satnav any time

Satnav not full proof though... my one takes me to dead end sometimes... amount of "U turns" I had to do over the years to not get lost! Other times wants to redirect me long way round...

Unless you have a fancy posh latest tech satnav! Seen as the tech business is booming in 2020 might help me to get my sex life back one day!

no I'm afraid mines not full proof either it is at its most inaccurate when walking took me in a complete circle the other day "

It might be due to operator error?

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Temple Bar


"You may be uncomfortable with the sex converstions but they will be nothing compared to the cheating one.

I'd echo what's been said, try to introduce stuff in the heat of the moment. But don't rush it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you

And finally this ^

To add my thoughts...

Different angle for us "outsiders" not into cheaters/deception. I don't get it... really don't. How is it possible someone fucks around behind partner's back than goes home snuggles up... cuddles with loved ones... sex with partner (if they do) living multiple undercover lives... their children (if have any) and partner don't really know their true nature/instincts... as if nothing has happened... mind boggles! It takes a certain type of character/heart to cheat...

For us looking in from the outside and hopefully never be in that position to look for "solutions" outside of marriage please hear the following:

I never condone cheating because my views have always been clear in forums, but imagine you're in that position... your partner stops doing things you both once loved together... your "personal desires" against staying loyal to a loved one... your life partner! Yes there are some cheaters that "get off on it" excitement/risk factor or deception etc but there are a few that genuinely don't want to lose what they have and at same time can't control personal urges... hence go out, out!!

For me personally:

If I am in that position and I truly love someone as many of these cheaters keep saying "in a proper loving marriage" I would give up e.g. anal sex or anything else that we are not able to enjoy anymore. Won't risk losing everything and the ultimate betrayal... my god if that happened to me... don't know how I would recover from that!

That is why I have so much respect for couples on here and Fabbers that play alone with partners consent. They must have had these open and honest conversations... found real common ground, solid solutions and enhanced their sex lives without causing any hurt/pain.

One of the reasons why I love Fab is because by being on here I can learn/grow and follow footsteps of those that have shown a better way... if/when I find my match we will be having these discussions and if we stay on here together or not...

The things we could do and explore together

For now I am enjoying single life. If my match is out there come find me because my compass seems to be broken hey this is a very well thought out analogy which i for one agree with and you can borrow my satnav any time "

Wow this is exactly my thought process, why is it so hard to find that.

And for you OP SEX doesn’t start in bed, it starts from the minute u get up, looks, pats, suggestions etc

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

What do you think its going to solve?

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Well, it's certainly A solution... but I wouldn't say it's THE solution.

In an ideal world/situation any and all non-monogamy should be ethical - completely open and honest and above board.

If there are ways and means to pursue that with your wife then you owe it to her, in my opinion, to try and get her to talk about both of your wants, needs, fantasies, etc. Open and honest communication, as cliche as it sounds, is a much better solution, I think.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This covers more than enough on my views/opinions. Repeating for those that connected with me and had hidden motives...

I don't meet and never have played with cheaters. Never will so move along and try others that would gladly fuck no matter what the scenario or circumstances

I ain't into that kind of freaky deception and I keep it real. Real good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is only maybe an option after you've completely explored, exhausted, and failed at all other options to resolve differences with your partner and made every attempt to repair whatever is wrong with the relationship over a long period of time. And even then it's still very, very questionable.

The other time it's possibly acceptable is if the partner broke the trust and was unfaithful first. The only cheater I've slept with was already in a broken marriage that the partner broke, non sexual, and he was staying for the kids. In his situation I didn't mind him cheating with me.

These are my personal thoughts anyway. Lots of views and good and valid points here. In short cheating is wrong, but maybe with very specific caveats.

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By *ugRollersCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

At least she’s giving you sex.... some poor blokes don’t even get that .... I agree with the others ... don’t ask her for it... just do it... I run off my hubbys cock all the time but somehow he manages to run after me and I just happen to give in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like you have been on here for a year now...

Not judging, I was married for 10 years, probably last five had no sex, then no affection as she thought it would lead to sex. For me is was someone telling me they didn't need sex, but didn't care I did.

So you are in a much better position than I was. Anyway it came to an end and tbh I am much happier now.. Not the answer for everyone but worked for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does your wife know you've been on fab for over a year?

What kind of things do you want from her that she won't give?

I know that I'm a lot more adventurous & agreeable when I'm tingling all over from orgasms, maybe try pleasing her into submission!

She maybe prefers 'vanilla' sex because it's actually pleasurable for her & she's not into pain or humilliation.

Maybe she's exhausted from looking after the house & kids all day while you sit around moaning about your cock & how neglected it is so only just manages a quick vanilla sesh. Maybe she knows you have a secret fab & feels unloved, making adventurous sex even less likely.

Maybe the last time you tried one of your kinks, she couldnt shit right for a week & felt pain & embarrasment..

I've done a lot of things with Mr Shadow that do very little to please or pleasure me, and I'm only open to them when I don't feel pressured, when I'm feeling emotionally secure & when my body is in the right frame of mind (yes, womens bodies can often feel VERY out of whack at certain points of the month - cervical changes, changes in discharge, breast tenderness, headaches, temperature changes, pain tolerance changes etc etc)

Try TALKING to her, but YOU NEED TO BE WILLING TO LISTEN. "

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"I'm married and love my wife very much. However, I find myself having thoughts that i know she s not willing to accommodate.

She likes sex very much, but she doesn't like to do anything different from 'classic'. A few years ago she was more open but that went slowly away when we got married and moved together.

I tried to tell her in a few ways but she just says we'll do it another time. So nowadays I prefer not to bring it up at all, because she seems uncomfortable .

I feel like a hopeless pervert ...

"

Yes it is a solution but there can be a problem if caught

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say you love her, and she does have sex and enjoys it, but because she wont do everything YOU want, you are asking a swinging site if cheating is acceptable.

No.

It is not.

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