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Horny as hell

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not had sex for ages and just wondered, seeing as I can’t get a lady to help as I’m not allowed at the moment. What is the best way of giving yourself an orgasm.

Any ladies can give me there opinion to, I’m bored and will probably give most things a go lol.

So come on help me drain these big old balls lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wank.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

It's nature's panacea

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release"

Don’t wank then, keep it in and wank after three months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I close my eyes, think really hard and squeeze everything, I can make myself orgasm. Doesn’t always work, sometimes I just fart, sometimes worse but I can definitely do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release

Don’t wank then, keep it in and wank after three months "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release"

So what kind of thing are you hoping for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried sticking something up your bum op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it "

It's too cold for my liking. I prefer something warmer and moist. Do you have any suggestions?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release

So what kind of thing are you hoping for?"

Just want it to squirt everywhere and feel like I have emptied my balls. Doesn’t seem to work without a women to help though. So not sure how to recreate. And nobody has time for 5 wanks a day lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later! "

^^^dont do this in a locked garage ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it

It's too cold for my liking. I prefer something warmer and moist. Do you have any suggestions?"

Leave it on the sun. It will be warm and moist in no time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it "

Really, but it sounds a bit messy lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

^^^dont do this in a locked garage ffs"

Or in the car park of the supermarket after you buy the steak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

^^^dont do this in a locked garage ffs"

True. It's an health and safety concern!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it

Really, but it sounds a bit messy lol"

As long as it does the job..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You should fuck a watermelon. Some men swear by it

Really, but it sounds a bit messy lol

As long as it does the job.."

True I guess. Who should I imagine the watermelon is lol, the choice is endless haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

^^^dont do this in a locked garage ffs

Or in the car park of the supermarket after you buy the steak. "

^^^No,dont do that either...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try a fake vagina they are great. Using one now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try a fake vagina they are great. Using one now "

Is she dead?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later! "

I reckon at least one idiot will end up in A&E because of this

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

I reckon at least one idiot will end up in A&E because of this "

Lol let’s hope it’s for being stuck in a watermelon and not with carbon monoxide poisoning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try a fake vagina they are great. Using one now

Is she dead? "

Could well be. Let me finish and I'll check

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

I reckon at least one idiot will end up in A&E because of this

Lol let’s hope it’s for being stuck in a watermelon and not with carbon monoxide poisoning. "

If you cannot get it out, I'd be worried

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go to the supermarket and buy a steak. Roll the steak into your car exhaust pipe. Get the engine running, while you fuck the exhaust. Thank me later!

I reckon at least one idiot will end up in A&E because of this

Lol let’s hope it’s for being stuck in a watermelon and not with carbon monoxide poisoning.

If you cannot get it out, I'd be worried "

Lol I didn’t try I don’t have a watermelon haha. Just worries there might be a vacuum created with all the pounding lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well I’m off to rub another one out, maybe I should get a women to watch that might help. But that’s for another time I’m to horny to look for one now lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I’m off to rub another one out, maybe I should get a women to watch that might help. But that’s for another time I’m to horny to look for one now lol."

Why don't you name your dick 'Genie' while you rub another one out? A genie might find you a lady, or at least a doll!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol yeah I am it just never seems to satisfy just rubbing one out. Never seems to be the same release"

Tried something like a flashlight toy. Do much better.

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By *andy cane321Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury

if your right handed, use your left and pretend its someone else

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"if your right handed, use your left and pretend its someone else "

I can only use my right hand in myself for some reason. My left hand/fingers have the worst rhythm and stamina lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if your right handed, use your left and pretend its someone else

I can only use my right hand in myself for some reason. My left hand/fingers have the worst rhythm and stamina lol"

Can I be a gentleman and offer you help?

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By *andy cane321Couple
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"if your right handed, use your left and pretend its someone else

I can only use my right hand in myself for some reason. My left hand/fingers have the worst rhythm and stamina lol"

Haha exactly like someone else

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Ain't we all lol

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By *ollydoesWoman
over a year ago

Shangri-La


"if your right handed, use your left and pretend its someone else

I can only use my right hand in myself for some reason. My left hand/fingers have the worst rhythm and stamina lol

And they say chivalry is dead

Can I be a gentleman and offer you help? "

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