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Overweight Child

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi Folks, and more so the separated couples. My eldest child is over weight. She’s tall but still overweight. Her mother and I are separated. I’m

Trying to help the child lose weight. She’s with me 1/3 of the time I.e 10 days per month and I think I monitor her food pretty well. But I know she’s over eating at her mums on crisps, takeaways and general food. I’ve Addressed it with her mother both directly and indirectly. But to no Avail. What can I do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How old is the child?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would talk with you ex and maybe consult a nutritionist and come up with a plan for her diet. Or get her into any kind of physical activities!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried teaching the child about nutrition so she is more inclined to ask her mother for healthy foods?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

I wouldn’t keep mentioning it to the child as she’ll get hang ups. Maybe just phase out unhealthy choices and just get snack size treats and encourage more movement.

Really depends on age...

Is she worrying about anything and comfort eating?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"Hi Folks, and more so the separated couples. My eldest child is over weight. She’s tall but still overweight. Her mother and I are separated. I’m

Trying to help the child lose weight. She’s with me 1/3 of the time I.e 10 days per month and I think I monitor her food pretty well. But I know she’s over eating at her mums on crisps, takeaways and general food. I’ve Addressed it with her mother both directly and indirectly. But to no Avail. What can I do? "

How did you work out that she is overweight ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician."

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician."
do

They??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you tried teaching the child about nutrition so she is more inclined to ask her mother for healthy foods? "
I have yes. She’s aware of bad foods. It’s complex.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway."

Thats a shame. My friends son got referred to dietician by a school nurse. I presumed this was all over

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Btw she’s 9. I’ve weighed her as part of school project on lockdown. She’s in the 99th percentile I.e obese

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x"
she’s 9

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay


"Btw she’s 9. I’ve weighed her as part of school project on lockdown. She’s in the 99th percentile I.e obese "

Good modeling, exercise together. Don't weigh or mention being overweight and concentrate on feeling good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x"

Same. I've had lifelong food issues stemming from the absolute shitshow my parents made of trying to tackle this kind of thing with me so would recommend treading very lightly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x she’s 9

"

So she’s still growing and will have puberty coming up in a year so , there will be lots of changes for her little body bless her . I’m my opinion the best way to go about it would be to introduce fun exercise, fun healthy food, limit but don’t ban unhealthy snacks and try not to make her aware of what’s going on as in don’t talk in front of her about diets/overweight/bad food so she just knows that what you do and eat is just normal when she’s at dads house and not that you’re trying to help her lose weight, that’s what I wish my parents had done anyway! Hope that makes sense xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Btw she’s 9. I’ve weighed her as part of school project on lockdown. She’s in the 99th percentile I.e obese

Good modeling, exercise together. Don't weigh or mention being overweight and concentrate on feeling good.

"
I Defo agree on the modelling. I’m near 4 stone down myself. But my issue is I can’t control what happens in her mums. And I know her mum is still

Buying multi bags of crisps etc. I walk

Every day and try to get her to come

With me but she’s lazy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x she’s 9

So she’s still growing and will have puberty coming up in a year so , there will be lots of changes for her little body bless her . I’m my opinion the best way to go about it would be to introduce fun exercise, fun healthy food, limit but don’t ban unhealthy snacks and try not to make her aware of what’s going on as in don’t talk in front of her about diets/overweight/bad food so she just knows that what you do and eat is just normal when she’s at dads house and not that you’re trying to help her lose weight, that’s what I wish my parents had done anyway! Hope that makes sense xx"
it partially does well 95% does but you say don’t make her aware of bad food why not? Is this not a basic

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway.

Thats a shame. My friends son got referred to dietician by a school nurse. I presumed this was all over "

Sadly not. On the odd occassion sports universities come in with calipers to gather data on obesity but they are not really concerned about the children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway."

Or Scotland

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway.

Or Scotland "

Well they did when my kids wwre at school.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x she’s 9

So she’s still growing and will have puberty coming up in a year so , there will be lots of changes for her little body bless her . I’m my opinion the best way to go about it would be to introduce fun exercise, fun healthy food, limit but don’t ban unhealthy snacks and try not to make her aware of what’s going on as in don’t talk in front of her about diets/overweight/bad food so she just knows that what you do and eat is just normal when she’s at dads house and not that you’re trying to help her lose weight, that’s what I wish my parents had done anyway! Hope that makes sense xx it partially does well 95% does but you say don’t make her aware of bad food why not? Is this not a basic "

I didn’t say don’t make her aware of bad food just don’t talk about food being ‘bad’ just make her aware that what we would call bad is something that can be eaten as the occasional treat , in my opinion if you label something bad and then ban a kid from having it they will want it more ? I’m the same when trying to diet lol ! You say she won’t go for a walk with you but would she run around outside having a water fight? Play hide and seek ? Do a little treasure hunt ? Anything fun that would get her moving around outside xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x she’s 9

So she’s still growing and will have puberty coming up in a year so , there will be lots of changes for her little body bless her . I’m my opinion the best way to go about it would be to introduce fun exercise, fun healthy food, limit but don’t ban unhealthy snacks and try not to make her aware of what’s going on as in don’t talk in front of her about diets/overweight/bad food so she just knows that what you do and eat is just normal when she’s at dads house and not that you’re trying to help her lose weight, that’s what I wish my parents had done anyway! Hope that makes sense xx it partially does well 95% does but you say don’t make her aware of bad food why not? Is this not a basic

I didn’t say don’t make her aware of bad food just don’t talk about food being ‘bad’ just make her aware that what we would call bad is something that can be eaten as the occasional treat , in my opinion if you label something bad and then ban a kid from having it they will want it more ? I’m the same when trying to diet lol ! You say she won’t go for a walk with you but would she run around outside having a water fight? Play hide and seek ? Do a little treasure hunt ? Anything fun that would get her moving around outside xxx"
I totally understand what you mean now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a common thing these days with children..activities seem to be linked and limited to the phone, laptop or games consul and maximum exercise is for the thumbs, its a big issue when all their friends and peers are doing the same as marketing is aimed at fast and junk foods..we sympathise as we have issues with our son and dragging him away from electronics. why it maybe good for education and future industry to be IT savvy its not good for their health..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It really depends on the age of your child , tackling weight issues with an older child can be very tricky if they’re aware of it and cause food related issues for them if not done sensitively, speaking from experience x she’s 9

So she’s still growing and will have puberty coming up in a year so , there will be lots of changes for her little body bless her . I’m my opinion the best way to go about it would be to introduce fun exercise, fun healthy food, limit but don’t ban unhealthy snacks and try not to make her aware of what’s going on as in don’t talk in front of her about diets/overweight/bad food so she just knows that what you do and eat is just normal when she’s at dads house and not that you’re trying to help her lose weight, that’s what I wish my parents had done anyway! Hope that makes sense xx it partially does well 95% does but you say don’t make her aware of bad food why not? Is this not a basic

I didn’t say don’t make her aware of bad food just don’t talk about food being ‘bad’ just make her aware that what we would call bad is something that can be eaten as the occasional treat , in my opinion if you label something bad and then ban a kid from having it they will want it more ? I’m the same when trying to diet lol ! You say she won’t go for a walk with you but would she run around outside having a water fight? Play hide and seek ? Do a little treasure hunt ? Anything fun that would get her moving around outside xxx I totally understand what you mean now "

Just don’t let your worry become her worry I guess is what I’m trying to say, lots of little girls and also boys have some puppy fat which disappears as they grow but if it’s over eating then obviously it’s down to us as parents , you’re being a good dad by looking after her health xxx

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway.

Thats a shame. My friends son got referred to dietician by a school nurse. I presumed this was all over "

They do at my children's School here in Wales

Well, they work alongside School in that they go in, do their checks, and if a child is obese they then monitor that child, send letter home if necessary etc (my friend had one and was mortified!).

They also weigh and measure height at any hospital or dr’s appointment involving a child.

Although we do have a childhood obesity problem in Wales so they may be more on it here.

I guess it depends on the Local Authority and their stance on it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"School nurses monitor a childs weight and if there is cause for concern then the child will be referred to a dietician.

They haven't been to school for weeks and school nurses VISIT schools once every blue moon to talk about nits and smoking.....

They won't be doing nutrition and weight loss.

They don't work in schools either. NOt in England anyway."

This really isn't very accurate. Every school has a school nurse although many are not based at one particular school exclusively as most have to cover a group of schools. They should visit once a week and hold drop-in sessions for your child to discuss issues.

They monitor weight amongst other things.

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton


"Btw she’s 9. I’ve weighed her as part of school project on lockdown. She’s in the 99th percentile I.e obese

Good modeling, exercise together. Don't weigh or mention being overweight and concentrate on feeling good.

I Defo agree on the modelling. I’m near 4 stone down myself. But my issue is I can’t control what happens in her mums. And I know her mum is still

Buying multi bags of crisps etc. I walk

Every day and try to get her to come

With me but she’s lazy "

Why not try and make it more fun for her. I used to go geocaching with my daughter, you don’t realise how far you do walk as she’ll be preoccupied with finding the cache. It’s online so she could possibly do it with her mum too if she got really into it.

Small steps but in the right way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say first off, stay away from calling foods "bad" or similar. It attaches a moral value to food and can really sew seeds for food issues further down the line. (I'm aware of this from personal experience)

You don't want to encourage the idea that "bad" foods = a bad person which is the kind of message you send when you talk about food that way, especially to a child who is at an impressionable age.

Instead I would just encourage balanced eating as much as you can, get her involved in shopping and preparing meals, do things like blind taste tests of some different, healthier choices. Make food fun and don't talk to her about it like it's a really big deal or make it into a chore.

Also, find out what her interests might be in terms of movement. Find a hobby to get her a little more active, maybe something a bit unusual rather than the usual sporty options.

And keep a line of communication open, as stated above, it may be that she's struggling with something emotionally and is finding comfort in food, which is a normal response.

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