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Disparity

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm writing about the disparity between the actual and expected looks and behaviours of murders and sex offenders. In actuality, little to none of those caught resemble our common preconceived ideas about how they should appear. The reason being that they would instantly raise alarm bells to any potential victim. A majority of crimes in this area are caused by someone the victim thought of as friendly, charming and handsome. This made me wonder if anyone on here had been put off of meeting someone as they had seemed too good to be true. Perhaps a little too perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/20 01:29:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now there’s an odd statement, I think it’s fair to say there’s been people with an underlying bad vibe who without solid reason I’ve passed by. I don’t think anyone comes across as perfect but positives would never be a put off. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Now there’s an odd statement, I think it’s fair to say there’s been people with an underlying bad vibe who without solid reason I’ve passed by. I don’t think anyone comes across as perfect but positives would never be a put off. X"

That's really interesting, thank you. Would you describe this bad vibe as something different or off compared to others you have met? Do you mind me asking what you personally consider as positives? It doesn't have to be everything. Just the most important ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t go by how someone looks. I see armed robbers, murderers, rapists, drug dealers and all sorts and without actually reading what they’re in for you’d never tell by just looking at them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really too good to be true but I’ve bypassed many that are too smarmy or just agree with me on everything because they want to get into my knickers.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Some people do have an off vibe.

Working in education you meet many people. I've met students who were just a little off, there was always a niggle in my head about them, then later I hear they're in prison and it's not a surprise.

And I'm not just blanketing all unruly students, I actually get on with the unruly ones after a while, but with some students you just get a subconscious vibe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You can’t go by how someone looks. I see armed robbers, murderers, rapists, drug dealers and all sorts and without actually reading what they’re in for you’d never tell by just looking at them. "

Exactly. May I ask if you are more likely to respond positively to these who are physically, emotionally or intellectually appealing to you, regardless of their crime?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not really too good to be true but I’ve bypassed many that are too smarmy or just agree with me on everything because they want to get into my knickers. "

Thank you for that, that's great....and I'm not saying that because I want to get in your knickers (although I obviously would).

Can I ask if once you get a sense that they are smarmy etc, do you try and catch them out first or do you just bypass them based on your feelings?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Some people do have an off vibe.

Working in education you meet many people. I've met students who were just a little off, there was always a niggle in my head about them, then later I hear they're in prison and it's not a surprise.

And I'm not just blanketing all unruly students, I actually get on with the unruly ones after a while, but with some students you just get a subconscious vibe. "

Yes, I know what you mean. It's always interesting reading the student profiles to see if they match up to your own perception of them. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve chatted a couple of times with someone that I’m not 100% on. Can’t put my finger on it. He seems nice enough and is quite funny but there’s something ‘off’ about him. I wouldn’t say he gives me the creeps, and I’m not suggesting he needs his hard drive checking but there’s something I’m unsure on. I’m not planning on ever meeting him though so I haven’t read too much into it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve chatted a couple of times with someone that I’m not 100% on. Can’t put my finger on it. He seems nice enough and is quite funny but there’s something ‘off’ about him. I wouldn’t say he gives me the creeps, and I’m not suggesting he needs his hard drive checking but there’s something I’m unsure on. I’m not planning on ever meeting him though so I haven’t read too much into it.

"

I'm hearing about this a lot. There's almost a sixth sense with people not being able to specifically identify anything in particular. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can’t tell who is a criminal just by looks. I see sex offenders on an almost daily basis and to everyone else, they are just normal members of the public. Some are charming even, some typically good looking, some not so.

What I do see on here is many women with the attitude that it will never happen to them, that they have chatted to someone or met them for a social whatever and so happily put their complete trust in someone because they seem decent.

How many could protect themselves or even know how to?

Of course there is always an element of risk, but it’s possible to minimise that risk. I just don’t get it.

I’ve spoken about women, but it applies to men too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You can’t tell who is a criminal just by looks. I see sex offenders on an almost daily basis and to everyone else, they are just normal members of the public. Some are charming even, some typically good looking, some not so.

What I do see on here is many women with the attitude that it will never happen to them, that they have chatted to someone or met them for a social whatever and so happily put their complete trust in someone because they seem decent.

How many could protect themselves or even know how to?

Of course there is always an element of risk, but it’s possible to minimise that risk. I just don’t get it.

I’ve spoken about women, but it applies to men too!"

Great points. Why is it do you think that some people think it won't happen to them? Is it the rarity or perceived rarity of it happening? For example people not feeling able to discuss what has happened to them. Could it be that we are conditioned to think through the media that criminals have scars and cockney accents for example. If the actual person isn't like our perceived

view of a criminal, are we more open to trust as our alarm bells aren't ringing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can’t tell who is a criminal just by looks. I see sex offenders on an almost daily basis and to everyone else, they are just normal members of the public. Some are charming even, some typically good looking, some not so.

What I do see on here is many women with the attitude that it will never happen to them, that they have chatted to someone or met them for a social whatever and so happily put their complete trust in someone because they seem decent.

How many could protect themselves or even know how to?

Of course there is always an element of risk, but it’s possible to minimise that risk. I just don’t get it.

I’ve spoken about women, but it applies to men too!

Great points. Why is it do you think that some people think it won't happen to them? Is it the rarity or perceived rarity of it happening? For example people not feeling able to discuss what has happened to them. Could it be that we are conditioned to think through the media that criminals have scars and cockney accents for example. If the actual person isn't like our perceived

view of a criminal, are we more open to trust as our alarm bells aren't ringing?"

I can’t answer for other people but I think it’s probably a bit of both.

Look at Richard Baker. A serial rapist. He got away with it for so long because he looked normal, charmed women and then preyed on dozens of victims.

If he had been an ugly man that looked ‘dodgy’ would he have been so successful in his crimes? Probably not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can’t go by how someone looks. I see armed robbers, murderers, rapists, drug dealers and all sorts and without actually reading what they’re in for you’d never tell by just looking at them.

Exactly. May I ask if you are more likely to respond positively to these who are physically, emotionally or intellectually appealing to you, regardless of their crime? "

When I say I see them I mean I see them in my workplace so it’s kind of my duty to interact positively with everyone.

Sometimes people can be natural charmers and very polite and you wouldn’t even think they’re capable of doing the things they’ve done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think anyone is capable of doing anything at any time.

How someone looks has nothing to do with it.

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