FabSwingers.com forum: Entertain me I'm bored ..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now that has to be the stupidest thing I've heard in literally a million years

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

What's black and smells like red paint ????

Black paint

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Now that has to be the stupidest thing I've heard in literally a million years

Thankyou

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"What's black and smells like red paint ????

Black paint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tic Tok has the cutest pooch vids ever

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now that has to be the stupidest thing I've heard in literally a million years

Thankyou

Always like to make a person smile/laugh

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Tic Tok has the cutest pooch vids ever

My kinda thing

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Now that has to be the stupidest thing I've heard in literally a million years

Thankyou

Always like to make a person smile/laugh

You're so kind and thoughtful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats 72?

69 with three people watching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tic Tok has the cutest pooch vids ever

Also cutest pole dancing.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Whats 72?

69 with three people watching

Thankyou kind sir

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man walked into a bar ....

Ouch

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By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Velcro is a rip off ,

Crazy paving isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? "

I ask myself that every day

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Man walked into a bar ....

Ouch"

Was he a dwarf ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Earlier I walked into the bi-fold doors glass thinking they were open , my fault for not paying attention , and yes other half fell about laughing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I ask myself that every day

I'll let you know at the weekend

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Earlier I walked into the bi-fold doors glass thinking they were open , my fault for not paying attention , and yes other half fell about laughing "
Haha love that

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

The word gullible is not in the dictionary

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I ask myself that every day

I'll let you know at the weekend

I cant waitn

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The word gullible is not in the dictionary"

Yes it is

Oh ...

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Try to stop yourself thinking of cute penguins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died !!

He pasta-way

Hi twat xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Scotsman, Irish man and English man walk into a bar.

Bartender looks at them and says "Is this a fucking joke?"

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Try to stop yourself thinking of cute penguins

I have 3 bars at home

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

Unless you're me

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died !!

He pasta-way

Hi twat xxx "

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Scotsman, Irish man and English man walk into a bar.

Bartender looks at them and says "Is this a fucking joke?" "
Awful so why did I laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps spend the time asking yourself, what's the difference between bored and fab bored?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Scotsman, Irish man and English man walk into a bar.

Bartender looks at them and says "Is this a fucking joke?" Awful so why did I laugh

Because its so awful

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Perhaps spend the time asking yourself, what's the difference between bored and fab bored?"

What's the difference??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head, the barman says "where did you get that fucking ugly thing from"

The frog replies "don't know ! Found it on my bum" !!!

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Check out some “roses are red” on Tik tok they will keep you entertained

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head, the barman says "where did you get that fucking ugly thing from"

The frog replies "don't know ! Found it on my bum" !!! "

The worst joke so far , but I prefer the worst ones

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime

Did you say something

that new pic is so distracting

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X "

Very good.

My mates a boat builder, he says since he’s been working from home sales have gone through the roof

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X "

Ok that's the worst one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps spend the time asking yourself, what's the difference between bored and fab bored?

What's the difference??"

I wish I knew. I just notice some of the forums topics people start

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

Very good.

My mates a boat builder, he says since he’s been working from home sales have gone through the roof "
I'm impressed they are getting worse

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

Ok that's the worst one

There’s a roofer on these forums have you met him ? He loves getting his asphalt.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Perhaps spend the time asking yourself, what's the difference between bored and fab bored?

What's the difference??

I wish I knew. I just notice some of the forums topics people start

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know what's remarkable?

A whiteboard.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

Ok that's the worst one

There’s a roofer on these forums have you met him ? He loves getting his asphalt."
Anyone got a worse joke than this, good luck

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"You know what's remarkable?

A whiteboard."

that's funny . Unacceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..." St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..." "Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!" Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!"

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

Ok that's the worst one

There’s a roofer on these forums have you met him ? He loves getting his asphalt. Anyone got a worse joke than this, good luck

There’s a horticulturist on these forums who likes anal, do you know her? She’s been caught with peat in her bum a few times

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

A guy is sitting in the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, ‘I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating.’

‘I don't understand, doc,’ the patient says. ‘Why?’

‘Because,’ the doctor says. ‘I'm trying to examine you.’

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them "Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single-file line." And they do so. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" The Sister Responds "Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger..." St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." and she did so. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment..." "Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!" Sister Susan responds "Well if I'm going to have to gargle this stuff, I'd rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!""

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Hahaha too funny . Also unacceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.

I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What you get if cross a sheep with a baby kangaroo?

Wooly Jumper

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Just sold my vacuum cleaner, it was only gathering dust !!! X

Ok that's the worst one

There’s a roofer on these forums have you met him ? He loves getting his asphalt. Anyone got a worse joke than this, good luck

There’s a horticulturist on these forums who likes anal, do you know her? She’s been caught with peat in her bum a few times "
Yes that's worse well done

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.

I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face.""

Keeping this one in the old memory bank

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I can send you a video of my dogs paddling in the Clyde if you want. It is lovely.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face.

I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face.""

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha too funny . Also unacceptable

Sorry no offence meant

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can send you a video of my dogs paddling in the Clyde if you want. It is lovely."
That kinda stuff is awesome , you know I'm a pooch lover

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By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

...

I like this one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A Rabbi, Catholic Priest and Protestant Minister decide to teach their Sunday school kids about being tolerant and accepting of other faiths, decide to take them all together on a boat trip. All is going well, until boat hits a rock and starts taking on water. Chaos ensues, and lifeboats are getting made ready but is a free for all, the Rabbi shouting hysterically "the kids!! What about the kids!!", Protestant minister shouts back "Ah, fuck the kids!" to which the priest shouts back "Do you think we have time?"

Apologies if anyone feels offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went out dressed like a chicken last night...

... and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg.

One thing led to another and the lifelong question was answered: it was the chicken.

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

Russian dolls !!!

Their full of themselves

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I can send you a video of my dogs paddling in the Clyde if you want. It is lovely. That kinda stuff is awesome , you know I'm a pooch lover

It got declined. Will send you a pic instead.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea.

What do you call a deer with no head or legs?

Matt.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea.

What do you call a deer with no head or legs?

Matt."

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

A friend of mine just heard his favourite song has been remixed by Judge Jules, so he booked him to play it live at great expense .

It was shit ..

Just goes to show..

Never book a judge by his cover

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