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"Aren’t in work and miss being told what to do?" Makes sense... | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions?" Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either. | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either." Why not?  | |||
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 I think it’s the pig tails put them off  | |||
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"This is what happens when masculinity is proclaimed to be toxic. Submissive men" So it was proclaimed last month? | |||
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"I get very few now thankfully used to get loads I think it’s the pig tails put them off " are you attracting more Doms now? | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either. Why not? "Not really understanding of what submissive means. I think some men believe being submissive is letting the female sit on top. My instinct tells me they are holding out for a shag, plus demanding what they want and are willing to do. And don't get me started on the Schrödingers twats who change to try and fit what I'm looking for after I've said no. | |||
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"Probably hope to be told what to do. They may find it slightly more interesting than watching porn. Doubt many are actually sub but rather see it as a way to get some form of sexual interaction with another human, often via completing or filming tasks. Not sure really. Just thoughts. " So basically boredom? I get that... | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either. Why not?
Not really understanding of what submissive means. I think some men believe being submissive is letting the female sit on top. My instinct tells me they are holding out for a shag, plus demanding what they want and are willing to do. And don't get me started on the Schrödingers twats who change to try and fit what I'm looking for after I've said no."Yes. I get you 100% | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either. Why not?
Not really understanding of what submissive means. I think some men believe being submissive is letting the female sit on top. My instinct tells me they are holding out for a shag, plus demanding what they want and are willing to do. And don't get me started on the Schrödingers twats who change to try and fit what I'm looking for after I've said no."This is my experience of a lot of so called "submissive men". They come with a list of things they want you to do to them while they lie back, get tied up and have all their fantasies provided by a woman in latex/PVC. Yeah fuck that  . | |||
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"This is what happens when masculinity is proclaimed to be toxic. Submissive men So it was proclaimed last month? "Haha very good | |||
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"I get very few now thankfully used to get loads I think it’s the pig tails put them off
are you attracting more Doms now?"A few | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions?" They might’ve watched a documentary on Channel 4 and get their heart pumping  | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? Snap. No idea why, and disappointingly none of them suitable for future play either. Why not?
Not really understanding of what submissive means. I think some men believe being submissive is letting the female sit on top. My instinct tells me they are holding out for a shag, plus demanding what they want and are willing to do. And don't get me started on the Schrödingers twats who change to try and fit what I'm looking for after I've said no.
This is my experience of a lot of so called "submissive men". They come with a list of things they want you to do to them while they lie back, get tied up and have all their fantasies provided by a woman in latex/PVC. Yeah fuck that ."Until you provide their fantasy and they can’t handle it! Haha x my ex couldn’t xx | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? They might’ve watched a documentary on Channel 4 and get their heart pumping "Ooooh which one? | |||
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"I've got the opposite, lots more self proclaimed dominant men wanting me to sub
"Nearly spat my coffee out | |||
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"Can't we just have mutual fun loving hot sex doing things we both want, rather than one doing what the other one wants? "You can have whatever you desire | |||
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"Can't we just have mutual fun loving hot sex doing things we both want, rather than one doing what the other one wants?
You can have whatever you desire "A taxi to you house after the lockdown then.  | |||
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"Send them my way. Needs some chores doing at home. " Well your pic would fit. Ok | |||
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"Because it’s hot having the gender roles reversed and woman being the dominant one. Also because it’s one of my fantasies to be tied down and used. " The gender roles of 40 years ago? | |||
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"You're giving off that don't fuck me with vibe. Men are lazy and want someone to do the work for them, they just need to lie there? I'm getting a lot more dominant men wanting to show me what white daddy can do to me. " | |||
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"You're giving off that don't fuck me with vibe. Men are lazy and want someone to do the work for them, they just need to lie there? I'm getting a lot more dominant men wanting to show me what white daddy can do to me. "Hmm. What vibe you giving off then? | |||
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"What is everyones perceptions of Dom/Sub? I want a broader perspective " Good question. I think they mean ‘I don’t want to do anything so you do the work...’ | |||
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"You're giving off that don't fuck me with vibe. Men are lazy and want someone to do the work for them, they just need to lie there? I'm getting a lot more dominant men wanting to show me what white daddy can do to me.
Hmm. What vibe you giving off then?"Needy, insecure, naive and cutesy.  | |||
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"You're giving off that don't fuck me with vibe. Men are lazy and want someone to do the work for them, they just need to lie there? I'm getting a lot more dominant men wanting to show me what white daddy can do to me.
Hmm. What vibe you giving off then?
Needy, insecure, naive and cutesy. "How long you keeping that pretence up for? | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions?" not for me like to keep my good looks  | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions? not for me like to keep my good looks "Huh? | |||
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"What is everyones perceptions of Dom/Sub? I want a broader perspective Good question. I think they mean ‘I don’t want to do anything so you do the work...’" Perhaps I am being naive but I thought dom/sub was more to do with whips/chains and gimps. Id say I am both if were talking a less niched aspect. I would like to meet someond who is as generous as I am in the bedroom. For labelling purposes I currently a dom  | |||
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"What is everyones perceptions of Dom/Sub? I want a broader perspective Good question. I think they mean ‘I don’t want to do anything so you do the work...’ Perhaps I am being naive but I thought dom/sub was more to do with whips/chains and gimps. Id say I am both if were talking a less niched aspect. I would like to meet someond who is as generous as I am in the bedroom. For labelling purposes I currently a dom "D/s is far far removed from "whips/chains and gimps" at least in my version of it it is - sure they *may* play a part in it but it's more about a mindset and an innate sense of place than any physical act or way of dressing etc. That said there are *some* that have the stereotypical view of what a Dominatrix is with a cowering submissive at her feet, but that's not my interpretation or that of others who see beyond the stereotype. To come back to the OP though I suspect the reason may tie in with the fact that it's a sexual act that *can* be done remotely - the dominant issuing instructions and the submissive carrying them out - and it's a means of getting gratification while meets are off the table. | |||
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" Good question. I think they mean ‘I don’t want to do anything so you do the work...’" This reflects most self proclaimed subs (men and women).It's not just a fab thing, I see this on regular dating sites. I see this mostly when people either lack confidence, are lazy, or just don't know what they want. As a guy it's exhausting trying to find out what someone likes and they just respond with "lol i dunno im sub". | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab.. "Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced. | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab..
Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced."Interesting... I'm too impatient to get to know people that way. I rather start with common ground and see if I'm compactible by the way conversation flows | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab..
Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced.
Interesting... I'm too impatient to get to know people that way. I rather start with common ground and see if I'm compactible by the way conversation flows "Oh I don't necessarily think there has to be a time limit on it in either direction - sometimes it just all "clicks" from the get go, others can be more of a slow burn - same as any relationship really. My point was more around as a male submissive "hunting" for a Domme rarely works out - them being the rare and elusive creatures that they are | |||
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"Why? Used to get a few a week asking. This month it’s been around 10 a day... Opinions?" Frustration and in my case, idiocy or desperation. I'm not even looking to meet men. | |||
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"Because it’s hot having the gender roles reversed and woman being the dominant one. Also because it’s one of my fantasies to be tied down and used. The gender roles of 40 years ago?" No  I mean like taking control and being confident in doing it | |||
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"This is what happens when masculinity is proclaimed to be toxic. Submissive men" Do you understand the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity? | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab..
Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced.
Interesting... I'm too impatient to get to know people that way. I rather start with common ground and see if I'm compactible by the way conversation flows
Oh I don't necessarily think there has to be a time limit on it in either direction - sometimes it just all "clicks" from the get go, others can be more of a slow burn - same as any relationship really.
My point was more around as a male submissive "hunting" for a Domme rarely works out - them being the rare and elusive creatures that they are "Asian dommes are rarer and very particular who they want in their lives. But going back to OP question, I have noticed more men asking to be subs. But at the same time, many "Dom" "Bulls" message me too. Just lockdown horn i guess.. We all suffering from it atm  | |||
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"This is what happens when masculinity is proclaimed to be toxic. Submissive men Do you understand the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity? " Good question! I feel I understand what toxic masculinity is but really from my perspective only. Like many things in life the meaning can differ from one person to the other. I feel we already have word for toxic masculinity. Its being severely narcissistic and these traits are not necessarily gender specific. Though these traits do have a tendency to be part of of an Alpha/Egoist male mindset, of which could be the toxic part? I just feel it doesnt exist,like the many other invisible boxes humans like to contstruct. I dont know, its just my view. By all means help me out if I am missing something  | |||
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"Some interesting points of view both on here and in the pms I’ve received concerning this thread. Just to be clear. I’m not looking for a sub, servant or slave. Been there, done it, got the cert and have moved on. I have no need to label myself or squish my sexual preferences into a nice, tidy box. Those who walk around with the war cry I’m a Dom/Domme rarely are but hey, your prerogative. I just was wondering why the sudden interest. Please continue discussing but on here and not my inbox "Just my view on your original post ..Your pictures ( which are fabulous ) are very appealing to the more fetishtic person , looking at them from my own perspective . A couple in particular would not be out of place in any fetish magazine thats for sure . So for a man to be perusing thease pages , coming across your photos , no doubt heads straight to the Dominatrix side of the fantasy mind . Because lets face it sexual fantasy does not have to be just one thing . One could " flit " across a vast wealth of different fantasys during the course a couple of hours .We are not talking the intriciticies of what is real or fake Domination here , its more of an instant trigger and a portrayal of oneself . Yes lockdown boredom will be a factor . More time to peruse the site and i would imagine most in your inbox are just cheeky attempts to make contact .. But your pictures a most definitely ere on that side of the road ...As i say they are fabulous pics , Very agent provocateur .. and dominating | |||
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"Some interesting points of view both on here and in the pms I’ve received concerning this thread. Just to be clear. I’m not looking for a sub, servant or slave. Been there, done it, got the cert and have moved on. I have no need to label myself or squish my sexual preferences into a nice, tidy box. Those who walk around with the war cry I’m a Dom/Domme rarely are but hey, your prerogative. I just was wondering why the sudden interest. Please continue discussing but on here and not my inbox "Although your comments reflect your view, to which you are obviously entitled, I hope my following comments are more of a clarification than an intention to be contentious. I apologise if it is a thread hijack. For some of us finding our kink orientation is the completion of the missing part of the puzzle in our personality. Some like me were doing things without knowing it was BDSM. Some discover BDSM and have a lightbulb moment. It is well documented that kink orientation can be part of someone's psychological personality. Therefore in both of the above cases is not something that people who have it as part of their personality can leave behind. There are some who argue eloquently that your kink personality should be a protected characteristic. However, this opens a horrible can of worms! Secondly, for a significant minority or majority (I am never sure which) their kink or BDSM flavour is not necessarily sexual. I suggest that many are not shoehorning their sexual preferences into a tidy box, because their sexual and kink personalities overlap or mix in many varied ways. One of the reasons the kink community used to be against swingers is precisely on the swingers' emphasis on sex and not on connection and understanding. | |||
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"Some interesting points of view both on here and in the pms I’ve received concerning this thread. Just to be clear. I’m not looking for a sub, servant or slave. Been there, done it, got the cert and have moved on. I have no need to label myself or squish my sexual preferences into a nice, tidy box. Those who walk around with the war cry I’m a Dom/Domme rarely are but hey, your prerogative. I just was wondering why the sudden interest. Please continue discussing but on here and not my inbox
Although your comments reflect your view, to which you are obviously entitled, I hope my following comments are more of a clarification than an intention to be contentious. I apologise if it is a thread hijack.
For some of us finding our kink orientation is the completion of the missing part of the puzzle in our personality. Some like me were doing things without knowing it was BDSM. Some discover BDSM and have a lightbulb moment. It is well documented that kink orientation can be part of someone's psychological personality.
Therefore in both of the above cases is not something that people who have it as part of their personality can leave behind. There are some who argue eloquently that your kink personality should be a protected characteristic. However, this opens a horrible can of worms!
Secondly, for a significant minority or majority (I am never sure which) their kink or BDSM flavour is not necessarily sexual. I suggest that many are not shoehorning their sexual preferences into a tidy box, because their sexual and kink personalities overlap or mix in many varied ways.
One of the reasons the kink community used to be against swingers is precisely on the swingers' emphasis on sex and not on connection and understanding."" Before one can know virtue , one must discover lust " ( De Sade ) Perhaps the " kink community ' headed down a path of its own making , to rid itself of its own inherited guilt .. I have always been a pervert , a sinner an ungodly soul ..Ive never needed a coñnection to have desire | |||
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"Just been reading through this chat. Very interesting! I definitely agree that nearly all blokes say they want a Domme when actually they just want a hard shag and to have a woman go on top. I don't think these guys get what this is about at all. It is 90% a mentality thing and 10% about the physical bits. And the physical bits only work if the mental side is clear between the Domme and the sub. These relationships actually take time to build and you can't just expect to find a Domme like you find a pizza takeaway and make your order of a few spanks and a cucumber stuck up your arse. Dommes need worship, obedience and respect way beyond the hour or two fumbling around in a hotel room with some clothes pegs and your washing up gloves." | |||
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"Just been reading through this chat. Very interesting! I definitely agree that nearly all blokes say they want a Domme when actually they just want a hard shag and to have a woman go on top. I don't think these guys get what this is about at all. It is 90% a mentality thing and 10% about the physical bits. And the physical bits only work if the mental side is clear between the Domme and the sub. These relationships actually take time to build and you can't just expect to find a Domme like you find a pizza takeaway and make your order of a few spanks and a cucumber stuck up your arse. Dommes need worship, obedience and respect way beyond the hour or two fumbling around in a hotel room with some clothes pegs and your washing up gloves." Like it | |||
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"Just been reading through this chat. Very interesting! I definitely agree that nearly all blokes say they want a Domme when actually they just want a hard shag and to have a woman go on top. I don't think these guys get what this is about at all. It is 90% a mentality thing and 10% about the physical bits. And the physical bits only work if the mental side is clear between the Domme and the sub. These relationships actually take time to build and you can't just expect to find a Domme like you find a pizza takeaway and make your order of a few spanks and a cucumber stuck up your arse. Dommes need worship, obedience and respect way beyond the hour or two fumbling around in a hotel room with some clothes pegs and your washing up gloves. Like it "Yes  | |||
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"Dunno OP, it’s not what I’m looking for. " Thanks for letting me know | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab..
Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced.
Interesting... I'm too impatient to get to know people that way. I rather start with common ground and see if I'm compactible by the way conversation flows
Oh I don't necessarily think there has to be a time limit on it in either direction - sometimes it just all "clicks" from the get go, others can be more of a slow burn - same as any relationship really.
My point was more around as a male submissive "hunting" for a Domme rarely works out - them being the rare and elusive creatures that they are "I have many men messaging me claiming to want to be my sub but I never found one to my liking  | |||
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"Just been reading through this chat. Very interesting! I definitely agree that nearly all blokes say they want a Domme when actually they just want a hard shag and to have a woman go on top. I don't think these guys get what this is about at all. It is 90% a mentality thing and 10% about the physical bits. And the physical bits only work if the mental side is clear between the Domme and the sub. These relationships actually take time to build and you can't just expect to find a Domme like you find a pizza takeaway and make your order of a few spanks and a cucumber stuck up your arse. Dommes need worship, obedience and respect way beyond the hour or two fumbling around in a hotel room with some clothes pegs and your washing up gloves." Yeah I see right through men when they claim to be subs. They have no clue tbh and just think I just lie there and take it... WRONG | |||
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"I think the increase has a lot to do with the times we’re living through. Lots of people, possibly on a sub conscious level, are feeling out of control. There is a genuine threat to their wellbeing and others and there is little they can do obtain a feeling of control, so some may be looking for any form of control and they may see that submitting to something tangible may provide a level of peace. It may also work the other way - people discovering or rediscovering their dominant nature to take control of something - I know my dominant side has definitely been reawakening during the last few months " From the messages I get I'd say there's certainly elements of this. When you're on shaky ground having the certainty provided by D/s can be so alluring. I haven't engaged much with the guys who want to sub but the few I've spoken to are looking for a release from responsibility. There are also those who just perceive sub as "tie me to the bed and you do all the work", but I've not seen an increase in those. The increase I've seen both here and elsewhere is from guys who are feeling unexpectedly vulnerable as their certainties are stripped away. It doesn't help that stress, fear and frustration are making me even more snappish and irritable than usual, and sometimes my bluntness is being mistaken for me being a Domme. | |||
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"I also heard dommes are bit of a unicorn on fab..
Dommes looking for male subs are a unicorn anywhere - but then I've always believed as a male submissive that you can't search for a Domme, more you find one without looking, discover that you have things in common and the dynamic finds itself naturally rather than being forced.
Interesting... I'm too impatient to get to know people that way. I rather start with common ground and see if I'm compactible by the way conversation flows
Oh I don't necessarily think there has to be a time limit on it in either direction - sometimes it just all "clicks" from the get go, others can be more of a slow burn - same as any relationship really.
My point was more around as a male submissive "hunting" for a Domme rarely works out - them being the rare and elusive creatures that they are
I have many men messaging me claiming to want to be my sub but I never found one to my liking "But that's when it comes down to communication and connection and the added ingredient of being the "type" of submissive you are looking for comes into it, same as with any other kind of relationship really | |||
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