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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think calling people and referring to them fat is often thought of as a derogatory way of describing somebody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think calling people and referring to them fat is often thought of as a derogatory way of describing somebody."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what planet you're on but since when is fat a positive and complimentary word? I'm astonished by how you don't expect a backlash for describing a person like that

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?"

Would you describe your sister as fat?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you think? "

I would say it's ambiguous

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

Biggggg error of judgment !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was using a word to describe someone, neither trying to pay compliment or be offensive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?

Would you describe your sister as fat?"

You mean if she was? Possibly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was using a word to describe someone, neither trying to pay compliment or be offensive."

But would you describe some as ugly or stupid.

These are matters of opinion not fact.

Plus fat is something you have not something you are.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Would you call them fat to their faces?. Probably not so you should not call them fat behind their backs.

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in


"I was using a word to describe someone, neither trying to pay compliment or be offensive."
the two larger ladies would of sounded better then if that's the case fat is deemed as derogatory when describing people imo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fat... They are fat... It's a description... Not everything has to be an insult, just because someone doesn't like a word. It's how it is said/meant that needs to be addressed, not the word itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you think?

I would say it's ambiguous"

Really? I say there are better words that could be used. Ok, you were talking to your sister but if I were you I’d introduce more conventionally acceptable wording into your vocabulary. Might save you a lot of hassle one day

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"I'm fat... They are fat... It's a description... Not everything has to be an insult, just because someone doesn't like a word. It's how it is said/meant that needs to be addressed, not the word itself. "

Me too, I am also a slut but loads of people hate that term as well

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not naive to the word being used as derogatory and that some people take offence to it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm fat... They are fat... It's a description... Not everything has to be an insult, just because someone doesn't like a word. It's how it is said/meant that needs to be addressed, not the word itself. "

I suppose this was the point I was making that not if the word is correct or not because I dont think you can ever agree but how the context of it was meant. In my case I didn't mean it in anything other than as an adjective...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you think?

I would say it's ambiguous

Really? I say there are better words that could be used. Ok, you were talking to your sister but if I were you I’d introduce more conventionally acceptable wording into your vocabulary. Might save you a lot of hassle one day "

I've never been one for convention usually, not through rebellion or anything radical I wouldn't say, just that I do think very differently to most

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm fat... They are fat... It's a description... Not everything has to be an insult, just because someone doesn't like a word. It's how it is said/meant that needs to be addressed, not the word itself.

Me too, I am also a slut but loads of people hate that term as well "

Any woman can say what she likes who wears star wars knickers as far as I'm concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thesaurus has worse ways to describe fat, I would say that was the nicer word.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I was using a word to describe someone, neither trying to pay compliment or be offensive."

Ok so in the same way would you describe a person as ‘that thin woman’ or ‘that slim woman’?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was using a word to describe someone, neither trying to pay compliment or be offensive.

Ok so in the same way would you describe a person as ‘that thin woman’ or ‘that slim woman’?

"

I would probably say skinny or little maybe, but if that's what came to mind in describing 'that individual' at the time, yes. Similarly if they were black or white, african or Caribbean etc.etc.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd object to being called a girl

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd object to being called a girl "

Again, my choice of wording. An adjective used to describe someone as being female. Again also not naive to the fact some think it's specifically to describe 'adolescent women' maybe.

Its contextual

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?

Would you describe your sister as fat?

You mean if she was? Possibly."

She's not then? Is she on fab?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?

Would you describe your sister as fat?

You mean if she was? Possibly.

She's not then? Is she on fab?"

No she is more like a rake although has piled on some pounds during the last few years...

Not that I'm aware of

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd object to being called a girl

Again, my choice of wording. An adjective used to describe someone as being female. Again also not naive to the fact some think it's specifically to describe 'adolescent women' maybe.

Its contextual "

The way I look at it is that it's the intent behind the words. I don't know your intent so although I'd object to being called a girl it would only be because of my perception of the word. To me describing a grown woman as a girl is patronising and condescending I think the same about the word boy used to describe a grown man.

Fat is a loaded word and I think you know that.

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By *somemoresomeCouple
over a year ago

south east

Not sure what response you wanted? Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In answer to your op yes its the wrong term to use. Seems insulting.

I’d just describe people how i myself like to be described. I have fat i can admit that but i don't like to be described as such. I’d be happier with plump, fuller figured or larger lady.

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By *somemoresomeCouple
over a year ago

south east


"In answer to your op yes its the wrong term to use. Seems insulting.

I’d just describe people how i myself like to be described. I have fat i can admit that but i don't like to be described as such. I’d be happier with plump, fuller figured or larger lady. "

Seems a dumb post that wants reaction, surely xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Watching goggle box on tv and two of their guests happen to be from Birmingham, I asked my sister prior to finding that out; "where are they from?" which she replied; "who" and I said; "the two fat girls"... which was met with scorn and an objectionable lecture on why I cant use that term.

Do you think that is wrong to use that term?"

Rookie mistake

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By *ingmasterMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Seems like the whole world is in a permanent state of being offended . What a bunch of wimps

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By *somemoresomeCouple
over a year ago

south east

You might be right for the world in 2020 but calling women fat as far is can go back

Isn’t nice xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You might be right for the world in 2020 but calling women fat as far is can go back

Isn’t nice xxx"

I don't call women fat, but was describing two people I'd never seen before and first thing I noticed was they were overweight nothing nasty was meant by it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In answer to your op yes its the wrong term to use. Seems insulting.

I’d just describe people how i myself like to be described. I have fat i can admit that but i don't like to be described as such. I’d be happier with plump, fuller figured or larger lady. "

I guess it's a choice of words, I'm not keen on using the word plump myself, if there's other words I'd use its probably chubby or maybe plus sized woman

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd object to being called a girl

Again, my choice of wording. An adjective used to describe someone as being female. Again also not naive to the fact some think it's specifically to describe 'adolescent women' maybe.

Its contextual

The way I look at it is that it's the intent behind the words. I don't know your intent so although I'd object to being called a girl it would only be because of my perception of the word. To me describing a grown woman as a girl is patronising and condescending I think the same about the word boy used to describe a grown man.

Fat is a loaded word and I think you know that. "

I've definitely been told I can sound patronising without actually meaning to in the past

I would say one part of where I was coming from was that I think when someone does say something that is offensive to another, the offender in any case should at least be able to explain themself without a defensive reaction.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"You might be right for the world in 2020 but calling women fat as far is can go back

Isn’t nice xxx

I don't call women fat, but was describing two people I'd never seen before and first thing I noticed was they were overweight nothing nasty was meant by it."

You didn’t notice they were mother and daughter then? You could just have said that instead

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'd object to being called a girl

Again, my choice of wording. An adjective used to describe someone as being female. Again also not naive to the fact some think it's specifically to describe 'adolescent women' maybe.

Its contextual

The way I look at it is that it's the intent behind the words. I don't know your intent so although I'd object to being called a girl it would only be because of my perception of the word. To me describing a grown woman as a girl is patronising and condescending I think the same about the word boy used to describe a grown man.

Fat is a loaded word and I think you know that.

I've definitely been told I can sound patronising without actually meaning to in the past

I would say one part of where I was coming from was that I think when someone does say something that is offensive to another, the offender in any case should at least be able to explain themself without a defensive reaction. "

I agree with your second paragraph. Offence can often be caused unintentionally and I think people should be prepared to accept that.

I rarely take offence at anything. I more often than not laugh when something is said with the intention of offending me. I think though that objecting to something is not the same as being offended by it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You might be right for the world in 2020 but calling women fat as far is can go back

Isn’t nice xxx

I don't call women fat, but was describing two people I'd never seen before and first thing I noticed was they were overweight nothing nasty was meant by it.

You didn’t notice they were mother and daughter then? You could just have said that instead "

I didn't notice that initially no, I think I noticed they were both blonde so could have said that perhaps but I noticed their 'shape' and accent first; which is why I asked as I was unsure, in a brief moment before the screen had changed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd object to being called a girl

Again, my choice of wording. An adjective used to describe someone as being female. Again also not naive to the fact some think it's specifically to describe 'adolescent women' maybe.

Its contextual

The way I look at it is that it's the intent behind the words. I don't know your intent so although I'd object to being called a girl it would only be because of my perception of the word. To me describing a grown woman as a girl is patronising and condescending I think the same about the word boy used to describe a grown man.

Fat is a loaded word and I think you know that.

I've definitely been told I can sound patronising without actually meaning to in the past

I would say one part of where I was coming from was that I think when someone does say something that is offensive to another, the offender in any case should at least be able to explain themself without a defensive reaction.

I agree with your second paragraph. Offence can often be caused unintentionally and I think people should be prepared to accept that.

I rarely take offence at anything. I more often than not laugh when something is said with the intention of offending me. I think though that objecting to something is not the same as being offended by it. "

I'm similar in that I'm easy going and dont take offence to much. I also laugh at things that may cause a reaction of anger or upset in others. I heard that's actually just a nervous reaction people do instead of other emotional responses though, but I'm not sure...

But yes people definitely are ok by me to question or object to something if they dont agree which is not defensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm fat... They are fat... It's a description... Not everything has to be an insult, just because someone doesn't like a word. It's how it is said/meant that needs to be addressed, not the word itself. "

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