FabSwingers.com forum: True Colours

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/LPn0KFlbqX8

So do you think your true colours shine like a rainbow during pandemic.. or you are tainted grey by it?

Let's not talk about others. Focus on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dyed my hair intense red. It's a disaster but the thought was there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hair is always some crazy colour...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dyed my hair intense red. It's a disaster but the thought was there x"

Oh my... can I please see! I'm struggling to imagine you in red.

I wish I could. My hair is darkest brown colour naturally with red highlights. And lots of it.. There is no way I am risking doing it at home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

I am doing my best to minimise the grey scale when coming on here and trying to throw some kindness glitter around.. whether that works is another question. Some probably get irritated by the bloody confetti

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

You always brighten my day. Your colours shine beautifully bright.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

I appreciate kindness with edible glitter.

Nice thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No unfortunately not. I’m a people’s person and sooth both loved ones and strangers through words, smiles and touch. Being stuck in a country I don’t want to be in during this period has also made it difficult for me to reach out and help.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have good and bad days. On my bad days I'm very grey. My anxiety kicks in and I curl up in a ball.

On my good days, I feel much more of an imperative to act in a way that I think is helpful and morally mandated. It is exaggerating what was already there

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No unfortunately not. I’m a people’s person and sooth both loved ones and strangers through words, smiles and touch. Being stuck in a country I don’t want to be in during this period has also made it difficult for me to reach out and help.

It's hard without being able to use the other senses.. I used to volunteer. I was about to come back to it when lockdown started. I am not great with giving support via phone.. I need that physical interaction.. voice and body language .. I miss it

Where would you like to be if it's ok to ask?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

You always brighten my day. Your colours shine beautifully bright.

Jo.Xx "

Eh you did see some of my grey days..

x thanks for sticking around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"https://youtu.be/LPn0KFlbqX8

So do you think your true colours shine like a rainbow during pandemic.. or you are tainted grey by it?

Let's not talk about others. Focus on you

"
I do believe in times of adversity that people's true colours shine through Wether they be good or bad....

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided. "

Showing and sharing is healthy I feel. Anything what doesnt harm others x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided.

Showing and sharing is healthy I feel. Anything what doesnt harm others x"

Exactly.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

You always brighten my day. Your colours shine beautifully bright.

Jo.Xx

Eh you did see some of my grey days..

x thanks for sticking around "

That's what friends are for.

Thank you for allowing me to.

And you know my box is always open.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I now have this song stuck in my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided.

Showing and sharing is healthy I feel. Anything what doesnt harm others x

Exactly.

Agreed. That is the key. Showing and sharing without harming others because having a bad day as we all can have doesn't mean need to ruin others. Not healthy to always bottle up things. It does help to share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided.

Showing and sharing is healthy I feel. Anything what doesnt harm others x

Exactly.

Wise words.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yes. Sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have bad days.

I do my best to be Positive but we cant all positive all of the time.

If im feeling fun and frivolous then i show it, if I'm feeling sad or hurt i show that too.

We are all multi sided.

Showing and sharing is healthy I feel. Anything what doesnt harm others x

Exactly.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I thought I was fine but coming close to suicide last weekend shows me that I’m not handling things as well as I hoped.

The lockdown is a part of that, I’m not sure how big a part.

My true colours aren’t staying inside the lines as well as I want

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I thought I was fine but coming close to suicide last weekend shows me that I’m not handling things as well as I hoped.

The lockdown is a part of that, I’m not sure how big a part.

My true colours aren’t staying inside the lines as well as I want"

Do you have the right support now?!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought I was fine but coming close to suicide last weekend shows me that I’m not handling things as well as I hoped.

The lockdown is a part of that, I’m not sure how big a part.

My true colours aren’t staying inside the lines as well as I want"

I'm so sorry you felt that way.

Are you feeling brighter now. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turned grey . Can't be arsed . The less I've got to do the lazier I become. But it's all good, when do we ever get a paid holiday this long? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to chill . So I'm enjoying it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to colour my hair. Need to find a micro hair colourist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My true colours are pretty much whatever you see. At the beginning of the outbreak when I was feeling most anxious I didn’t say too much as I process it quite quickly and have good ways of dealing with my anxiety in most situations. I am a bit more serious at the moment as there are serious things to consider and more concerned about the way things are being handled by our government.so probably have more to say politically than usual. I’m also feeling less tolerant of some of the things I see on here too on occasion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I thought I was fine but coming close to suicide last weekend shows me that I’m not handling things as well as I hoped.

The lockdown is a part of that, I’m not sure how big a part.

My true colours aren’t staying inside the lines as well as I want"

Last weekend is very recent.. must all feel very raw still. Where are your thoughts now? X

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Like part of me wants to forget about it but the other part wants to acknowledge and do something about it.

I don’t have as much resilience as I thought, need to do things to build that back up.

And part of me is massively embarrassed for derailing this too! It’s an interesting thread from everyone who’s contributed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like part of me wants to forget about it but the other part wants to acknowledge and do something about it.

I don’t have as much resilience as I thought, need to do things to build that back up.

And part of me is massively embarrassed for derailing this too! It’s an interesting thread from everyone who’s contributed "

I dont see it as derailing. It can cover many things.. under one colourful umbrella..

I think you just DID one great thing. You told 'someone' about it. So there is an acknowledgement and desire to change thinking patterns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My colour is very uneven, sunbathing laying on my back has made me look like I've had 4 two's on my front due to not counting Misissippily

On a serious note, on the whole, I am still positive thinking me, although less tolerant of fools, you know the ones that won't stay 2m away from you and things like that. I've hit the odd wall (metaphorically) a couple of times which I think is only natural. Ranted once or twice on here, but try and spread positive loving vibes when on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where would you like to be if it's ok to ask? "

Back home in the UK

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where would you like to be if it's ok to ask?

Back home in the UK

Ah I thought you were here and feeling nostalgic about elsewhere. Well.. may it not be too long until you get over here.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Like part of me wants to forget about it but the other part wants to acknowledge and do something about it.

I don’t have as much resilience as I thought, need to do things to build that back up.

And part of me is massively embarrassed for derailing this too! It’s an interesting thread from everyone who’s contributed

I dont see it as derailing. It can cover many things.. under one colourful umbrella..

I think you just DID one great thing. You told 'someone' about it. So there is an acknowledgement and desire to change thinking patterns. "

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Shining like a rainbow most of the time. I think that's a combination of being incredibly happy due to those I have in my life and just a general *good place*. When I do use the fora I try and interact with positivity to all - there's so much sad and worry in this world and I'm actually finding that being nice (yeah Babs I used that word) to others makes me feel good.

I do have grey moments - my partner is working loooong hours and I worry about him. Someone who is very dear to me I miss a lot more than I could have thought I would. I have a good network of friends and loved ones and I'm far better at rationalizing my emotions so I'm going to keep showing my true colours and shining on.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't have "true colours" which suggests I have "untrue" ones too.

I am me, what you see is what you get, I don't do pretence or trying to portray something that I'm not, or say things because I think it's what someone wants to hear - yes I have my off days, but when I do it's still a reflection of myself and I usually snap out of it fairly quickly anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't have "true colours" which suggests I have "untrue" ones too.

Uh oh. I only played with words of the song GM

but fair point.

Saying that, not everyone might have to ability to stay as consistent as you do. And sometimes wearing a 'mask' is a coping mechanism. Fake it till you make it and so on?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't have "true colours" which suggests I have "untrue" ones too.

Uh oh. I only played with words of the song GM

but fair point.

Saying that, not everyone might have to ability to stay as consistent as you do. And sometimes wearing a 'mask' is a coping mechanism. Fake it till you make it and so on? "

You said to talk about yourself and not others though so I did

And I know you did and for the record I love that song much prefer it to her other well known one

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

I'm on here "time after time" but like a lot on here " girls just want to have fun.

I went out last night for the first time in ages and "drove all night" ,

Now I just feel like a goonie but I'm not sure my true colours are shining through xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't have "true colours" which suggests I have "untrue" ones too.

Uh oh. I only played with words of the song GM

but fair point.

Saying that, not everyone might have to ability to stay as consistent as you do. And sometimes wearing a 'mask' is a coping mechanism. Fake it till you make it and so on?

You said to talk about yourself and not others though so I did

And I know you did and for the record I love that song much prefer it to her other well known one

I did too. Camouflaged under 'not everyone'

but it doesnt mean the other parts are untrue. Just not the ones I want to share.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't have "true colours" which suggests I have "untrue" ones too.

Uh oh. I only played with words of the song GM

but fair point.

Saying that, not everyone might have to ability to stay as consistent as you do. And sometimes wearing a 'mask' is a coping mechanism. Fake it till you make it and so on?

You said to talk about yourself and not others though so I did

And I know you did and for the record I love that song much prefer it to her other well known one

I did too. Camouflaged under 'not everyone'

but it doesnt mean the other parts are untrue. Just not the ones I want to share. "

Oh absolutely nothing wrong with holding things back if the basic and underlying personality is the same - we all have things we don't reveal to a greater or lesser degree - it's more the completely false persona that doesn't show a true picture at any level I was referring to

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

I've managed to get a little tan

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've managed to get a little tan"

Nude ?

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"I've managed to get a little tan

Nude ?

I forever have white bits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm on here "time after time" but like a lot on here " girls just want to have fun.

I went out last night for the first time in ages and "drove all night" ,

Now I just feel like a goonie but I'm not sure my true colours are shining through xx "
..what's going on ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

It's lovely

I've struggled with this lockdown, and lack of adult company, I haven't been as positive as I usually am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/05/20 16:15:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be really surprised if all of us don’t have our public self that we show to others, our hidden self that we don’t usually show to others, our unknown self that neither us or others know about yet (undiscovered in a sense),and our blind self that others see that we don’t. I think over time we can develop and be comfortable revealing more of ourselves to others and also be come increasingly aware of our blind spots and parts of us we didn’t know existed. I think I show much more of myself now on Fab than I did when I first joined. I also show more of myself outside of Fab than I did. Both arenas have helped me develop and learn more about my unknown and blind self, as well as feel comfortable hiding less of me. I think at times like these we do have an opportunity to reflect and learn more about ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would be really surprised if all of us don’t have our public self that we show to others, our hidden self that we don’t usually show to others, our unknown self that neither us or others know about yet (undiscovered in a sense),and our blind self that others see that we don’t. I think over time we can develop and be comfortable revealing more of ourselves to others and also be come increasingly aware of our blind spots and parts of us we didn’t know existed. I think I show much more of myself now on Fab than I did when I first joined. I also show more of myself outside of Fab than I did. Both arenas have helped me develop and learn more about my unknown and blind self, as well as feel comfortable hiding less of me. I think at times like these we do have an opportunity to reflect and learn more about ourselves."

I think that is what I have been doing. Trying to have lots of self reflection time..

I want to know more about your blind spots theory though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My true colours are grey.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’m generally a happy, relaxed, positive type of soul and that hasn’t changed. I think I’m kind to others and I have tried to check in with more people during this time. I have everything I need and want so that helps

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm a shiny slightly grumpy person.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm a shiny slightly grumpy person.

We make a balanced pair

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

Im the same re roots, but embracing it and think it’s the new fashion...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm a shiny slightly grumpy person.

We make a balanced pair

Ohhh and what a pair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

Im the same re roots, but embracing it and think it’s the new fashion...

Someone on here recommended that root spray by Loreal. It's a good temporary solution! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My true colours are grey."

My daughter was doing some beautiful pencil sketches recently. Grey can have a lot of depth to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My true colours are grey.

My daughter was doing some beautiful pencil sketches recently. Grey can have a lot of depth to it.

Only if someone can be bothered to look at it.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

The red dress always shines through and please carry on with glitter and confetti

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm embracing my roots

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm embracing my roots

Ha ha I always have a stock in so I’m rocking a bed head look hair style in my usual mahogany red!

since I’m not in my normal face to face work role I don’t need to do the pristine look for now

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

I'm embracing my roots

Ha ha I always have a stock in so I’m rocking a bed head look hair style in my usual mahogany red!

since I’m not in my normal face to face work role I don’t need to do the pristine look for now"

I've got some dye in, but I'm wondering if my grey is so bad (it was just to cover the grey). I'm letting it go until things return more to normal. Maybe I can do without.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

The red dress always shines through and please carry on with glitter and confetti

that is a lovely thing to hear coming from you ! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt to meditate in this time and it is amazing has made a massive difference to my outlook each day xx I would seriously recommend it, although it's not stopped the grey seeping through on my hair, I gave masses of naturally curly hair n never done a home colour but I do keep looking at an auburn one xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've learnt to meditate in this time and it is amazing has made a massive difference to my outlook each day xx I would seriously recommend it, although it's not stopped the grey seeping through on my hair, I gave masses of naturally curly hair n never done a home colour but I do keep looking at an auburn one xx"

If its semi permanent it wont be a disaster.. and you still have some time to wash it out..

I never had patience to meditate .. my mind is like train with broken breaks and screaming driver

glad it sets your wheels in a positive direction, Strala.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me change what I can accept what I cant change and give me the knowledge to know the difference....

None of us can change what is happening in the world, we can't change anothers life, we may sometimes not even be able to change our own lives in the way that we want.

We can change how we look at the world, if not how the world looks at us.

If we are at peace with ourselves then we know the grey will pass the sun will shine again we will dance on the surf and walk through fields of dreams.

These things will pass....

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

The red dress always shines through and please carry on with glitter and confetti

that is a lovely thing to hear coming from you ! X"

Ha ha! I’m not the bad bitch some think I am ... better for knowing

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Outwardly I’m still showing my colours for everyone else, always there to support others. Inside I’m grey and locking down tight. Been that way for a while and lockdown has just made it more so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If its semi permanent it wont be a disaster.. and you still have some time to wash it out..

I never had patience to meditate .. my mind is like train with broken breaks and screaming driver

glad it sets your wheels in a positive direction, Strala. "

Insight timer is good, with guided meditations if you fancy it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that is what I have been doing. Trying to have lots of self reflection time..

I want to know more about your blind spots theory though

Our blind spots our where others see in a characteristic or behaviour in us that we don’t believe is us. It partially relates to what Carl Jung called our shadow. The shadow is those parts of ourselves that we are unaware of and therefore it is not integrated into ourselves. We often dislike this characteristic/behaviour in others and project that part of ourselves onto them. We tend only to find this out from others giving us feedback. The danger is we reject that feedback saying ‘that’s not me’ rather than seeking to understand why it has been said and when it is true about us.

An example would be someone who from an early age has been driven to ‘Be Strong’. They would hate to be seen as vulnerable so repress their vulnerabilities. In certain circumstances those vulnerabilities are recognised by others but denied by that individual. Hence a blind spot. Another blindspot could be in someone who is motivated to help others who doesn’t see that side metimes they can be cold and heartless, because that isn’t them. Another blind spot could be someone who see themselves as rational, logical, methodical and cautious, who is seen by others taking a big risk or overreacting because of emotions in the past that had been repressed. When they receive the feedback they rationalise the behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My true colours have shown to those closest to me. And I mean ranging from the one extreme end to another. Because these are people I feel safe with and loved no matter what.

The red dress always shines through and please carry on with glitter and confetti

that is a lovely thing to hear coming from you ! X

Ha ha! I’m not the bad bitch some think I am ... better for knowing"

Haha that's completely not what I was thinking. Just surprised x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Outwardly I’m still showing my colours for everyone else, always there to support others. Inside I’m grey and locking down tight. Been that way for a while and lockdown has just made it more so. "

But how long one can hold that greyness from slipping through the cracks? Just going by your 'locking down tight'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ah now it clicked. Thank you Doc.

It's so hard to cut the ties from what we have been driven and conditioned to think of ourselves. That's when the self reflection and time alone can allow for restructure and some healing...or acceptance we are what we are. Not just glitter and rainbows. With greyness to acknowledge and somewhat control.. as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah now it clicked. Thank you Doc.

The light and the dark, the colours and the greyness are all part of our authentic selves. Being able to present more of that in an integrated authentic way for me is part of being fully alive and fully human, accepting all of that in ourselves and others isa road to healing our fractured selves and our fractured world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah now it clicked. Thank you Doc.

We all have shadow/grey, it's what we do with it.

When we are 'triggered' it's whether we react and lash out or cry or whatever, or step back and examine the emotion that has come up, in a curious kind of way. Where did that emotion come from, what happened to me in the past that may have caused me to be triggered.

In that way we can start to understand and he's. As long as we do it in a soft gentle non judgmental way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heal, not he's

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

"Outwardly I’m still showing my colours for everyone else, always there to support others. Inside I’m grey and locking down tight. Been that way for a while and lockdown has just made it more so.

But how long one can hold that greyness from slipping through the cracks? Just going by your 'locking down tight'. "

It slips through plenty. I try to step back when it does (not always successfully), until I can seal the cracks. Mostly it works out well for everyone x

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I really love this post Doc. Beautifully written.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

"Less said about my roots the better.

I'm a shiny happy person in general, the same is true during these strange times.

Im the same re roots, but embracing it and think it’s the new fashion...

Someone on here recommended that root spray by Loreal. It's a good temporary solution! X

No one to see them and they’re not too bad xx ty for suggestion and I do have that spray but not keen on it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I’m a radiant beige.....

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