FabSwingers.com forum: Would you be single rather then settling for less?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Why would anyone settle for less? I stay single rather than settle for less

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By *edrickWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

I'm single through choice for now. Who knows when my knight in shining armour will appear in life but untill he arrives I definitely wont be settling with someone that doesnt tick all my boxes. Lifes too short to spend it with the wrong person!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes exactly this. I have always said I’m happy on my own and someone would have to be out of this world to change that. But deep down we all want to be loved xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single through choice for now. Who knows when my knight in shining armour will appear in life but untill he arrives I definitely wont be settling with someone that doesnt tick all my boxes. Lifes too short to spend it with the wrong person!"

I was going to stay single till I saw this!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Nobody is always better than anybody. I love being single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I settled with my last relationship, never again!! Definitely happy to be single for as long as it takes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and I am...

I was married and well still am on paper..but I am much happier now..truly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing worse than being lonely when you're in a relationship...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leannes my 3rd wife been together 26 years and definitely ticks all the rite boxes couldn't imagine life without her

wish we hadn't got so many kids though pmsfl...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course. I enjoy being single and it would have to be someone pretty special for me to give that up.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I've been single for the last 7years, I'm happy being on my own and won't compromise, I'm not watching Emmernation Enders fòr anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people maybe settle for less without realising because they make compromises in a give and take relationship to make it work. I would guess that most relationships are like this and only a fraction would have everything they wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either

I wasn’t....but having realised that there is more than just accepting that what you’ve o is the lot and to make so?!

No thank you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah but what does settling for less mean? A relationship is about two personalities coming together with their own expectations so surely compromise has to happen? It’s down to the individual to decide exactly what they’re willing to compromise on though. Mr Perfect does not exist

For me, there is a difference between compromising to allow for different personalities and settling.

Settling is giving up on something that is important to you and is likely to be an issue further down the line if so.

Compromising is giving up or changing small things that are not as important to you but are important to the success of a relationship.

Just my take on it.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I would never enter a relationship intentionally settling for less, because that is doing both of you a disservice and will be doomed from the get go.

I have been in relationships where it has been an equal footing and then i find it’s me compromising more than him, and that leads to dissatisfaction.

Loving relationships, to me, mean you both work at making things work.

So no. I’m an all or nothing gal. I don’t need someone to make me happy, but it’s like having that bit extra and its the cherry on the cake.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I like being in a relationship. I wouldn't settle but I know that successful relationships mean compromise. There are certain criteria that for me are non negotiable but beyond that there are things that I'm prepared to accept or even overlook. "

I know what you mean, but I can make half a dozen bog rolls last me fòr at least a couple of months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absofuckinglutely.

I was single for over 3 years before meeting J. And even then we spent a good year trying to not be in a relationship...

I'm pretty sure he's the only man who could be made me not want to be single anymore.

Being alone is ALWAYS a better option than being with the wrong person!

Though, saying that...being with the right person, there's nowt better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she takes it up the bum and likes to cook, she is marriage material for me!

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Nothing worse than being lonely when you're in a relationship..."

Very true

I think lots of people stay together because they are scared of being alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single and never been married. Wouldn't 'settle for less' but know in any relationship compromises have to be made. Certain element of give and take from both sides is vital for a healthy relationship. I do not want to be single for ever so if I found my match... Happy days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I loved being single and honestly pushed great women away because I couldn’t give Them 100 percent.....

Now I found love and it’s the greatest feeling on earth.....

Being single was great for finding my true inner self...

But there is nothing like being in a loving relationship....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would. I would rather be single all my life then to not find what I am looking for in a partner. I am as well happy being single so not in a rush either

I'd just rather be single full stop, I'm happy as I am

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Mr Perfect does exist. Sometimes you meet them and it just works.

I would never ever go into a relationship again where I just settle because it's easier; being single taught me to have more self respect for myself and to actually like and love me for who I am. Now I've met truly incredible men who I'm very blessed to have in my life and sure, sometimes compromises are made but overall the relationships make me so incredibly happy.

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

Definitely rather stay single. I split with the father of my boys nearly 18 years ago, I have had 1 very short relationship since which was a few years ago. I am happy by myself but am also open if it happens it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks to a combination of good and toxic relationships I know exactly what I want and I'll know it when I meet him.

Easy being single for now, would much rather wait for the right guy than be miserable or bored with just anyone.

Plus I love my own company and I'm fully embracing crazy cat lady life

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I spent years with the wrong person so now I'm waiting for Mr Right, he'ss probably lost though, so in the meantime I'm enjoying being single x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I made a choice not to settle and ended my last relationship. Not always an easy thing to do but the right thing for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

It took me a lot of years to realise that though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Single life has its advantages only one person to worry about (as such), but i have noticed that over a long period of time being a singleton selfishness comes into play, which seems to make it harder for them to let another person into their life.

Does anyone go into a relationship thinking I'm going to have to settle for "that"?, I don't think that would be a good thing, if you fall for someone who may not have ticked all the boxes you wanted to have ticked.

There is a reason why you fell for them, the crossed boxes didn't matter in the first place.

Ps.. my nan said I was perfect and my mum confirmed this.

although I know for some I'm too tall and they don't like hairy chests.

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

You know the armour bit can be a bit impractical at times, takes some buffing as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *r easy1981Man
over a year ago

leeds

Single in the best life lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m happily single, I miss company but I’m in no rush to settle for something that doesn’t feel right.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Is anyone really going to willingly admit that they'd settle? Kids or finances are the only reasonable cases where people might settle for less. Even then, most probably end up cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After 8 years of settling for less, I wouldn't do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be nice for this to be a choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that’s kind of what’s happened to me. Not including the guy I was seeing briefly last year but I’ve basically been single the last 10 years cos I’ve had a particular type that’s hard to find, even harder to find one that also likes me. It’s been an okay but quite lonely 10 years.

Now I’m getting older an looks are going with each passing year I’m gonna have to stop going for the physical attributes so much cod I don’t wanna be on my own anymore.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"Must be nice for this to be a choice."
I don't get it. The choice is single or settling for less. The only other option is having it all. In which case, can't complain!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t like the term ‘settling’ I think it’s just another way of placing blame on the other person. There isn’t always a bad guy and a good guy in a relationship.

I wouldn’t stay with someone I’m no longer compatible with. We change over time and sometimes people just grow apart. I’m happy to walk away when it gets to that point as I don’t want to be held back, nor be the one to hold someone back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Must be nice for this to be a choice. I don't get it. The choice is single or settling for less. The only other option is having it all. In which case, can't complain! "

If there's nothing to be settled for, there's no choice to be made.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"Must be nice for this to be a choice. I don't get it. The choice is single or settling for less. The only other option is having it all. In which case, can't complain!

If there's nothing to be settled for, there's no choice to be made."
I gotcha now, sorry. OK, now I am worried. Shit.

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By *nnnikCouple
over a year ago

Walsall

I'd rather be single than to have a dick of a partner who doesn't treat you the way ya suppose to....

Like a princess!!!

Titch xx

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I'd probably become a crazy dog lady but yes, single forever is preferable to being in a relationship that is 'meh'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did settle, didn’t work. It is stupid and selfish. I ended up having an affair, losing half my money and causing a whole load of people who didn’t deserve it a bunch of misery. It’s never worth it.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Some people think they find what they are looking for in a partner and after a while realise they are not. Be careful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing worse than being lonely when you're in a relationship..."

This is very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing worse than being lonely when you're in a relationship...

This is very true"

Are you the Kitty, someone was going crazy about on a thread?

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By *isshorny247Couple
over a year ago

wallsend

So very true everybody want to find love and for at person to love them the same x

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By *isshorny247Couple
over a year ago

wallsend

Be they wore the t-shirt and watch the video about 10 years or more x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love being single, in order the truely know ones self. If you settle for 'less', then yiu either have some self issue to work through or somebody is controling you.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

As compromising isnt setterling for less.

Id choose this way over filling out a load of tick boxes for mrs right.

Who maybe might not be what they seem to be, Yet fit all of the tick boxes for being mrs right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would take someone really special for me to consider a relationship, so yes, I'd rather be single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would take someone really special for me to consider a relationship, so yes, I'd rather be single. "

Would you be keen to mingle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yah. Hence why I'm single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would take someone really special for me to consider a relationship, so yes, I'd rather be single.

Would you be keen to mingle?

I'm always happy to mingle. I actively date, or at least I did pre-Covid.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think so , I prefer interdependence to independence so couldn’t imagine being alone long term. As long as they get the big important things right , I can deal with and work on minor differences

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Yes.

One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.

Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"Yes.

One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.

Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out. "

Hindsight is valuable. Shame it comes along too late!!

I love the phrase 'blissfully happy'. Long may it continue!

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I will stay single as I'm not built for relationships. I'm far to selfish when it comes to that side if life.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I think you actually get more picky as you get older.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"As compromising isnt setterling for less.

Id choose this way over filling out a load of tick boxes for mrs right.

Who maybe might not be what they seem to be, Yet fit all of the tick boxes for being mrs right. "
see I find compromise as settling for less. Hence I've now decided I will stay single x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never settle. We are worth so much more. I don't snack between meals so why should I do it in a relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would

I’ve just come out of a long term friendship with a lovely man, because I’m looking for more than he is.

It’s sad, but the right thing to do (in our case, I appreciate not everyone will feel the same).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No point in settling for less, you're lying to yourself and the other person. Rather be a singleton

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nothing worse than being lonely when you're in a relationship...

This is very true"

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

That's why I'm single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know that I would have to like everything about a person to want to be with them, aren't we meant to love the flaws too. I think it can be easy to get picky as we get older and probably more used to being our own person, Ok if you are the sort of person that absolutely won't compromise and are happy to perhaps accept you will never find someone. Ill take a few behaviours that may mean I want to thr*ttle you as long as I like most of the rest of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure what settling for less really means. I guess it depends on what we look for in a partner, some idealized "perfect" is probably unobtainable. After all we are all unique have our own idiosyncrasies flaws and maybe occasionally some features that draw us to others and them to us. Life isnt about lists of ideals it's about how we make another feel and how they may feel about us. It's about that one who is perfect for us, and we are "perfect" for them irrespective of how those on the outside may see us.

Settle for less. Isnt that just the absence of that connection that mutuality that love that is shared between people. Perfection like beauty can be ice cold and soulless. We are human, complex our emotions are guided in ways we may not fully understand.

But give me real human imperfect every time, rather than some false ideal. Less and more are relative.

It's how another makes us feel that makes our lives sparkle, and if we find that then we are truly blessed.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

For me, single is the best and only option. I always thought I would be single my whole life but I met this wonderful lady who was everything a guy would want In a wife house proud, good cook attractive etc.

But I couldn't even make that work. We were married for 10 years, we are still very good friends and we help each other out if we can. She knows about Alex and has even brought me a couple of dresses.

I can't ever see me living with someone else and I am happy with that.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Do you think you need that "butterfly" feeling?

I've had it with 3 but it's never lasted (the relationships)

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

My philosophy entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course MrPerfect exists!!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I don't need a man and I certainly wouldn't settle.

I would of course compromise and we'd work together. Compliment each other. We may have different strengths and weaknesses but together we'd be strong.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Do you think you need that "butterfly" feeling?

I've had it with 3 but it's never lasted (the relationships)"

It helps but it's not enough.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I don't tolerate bad experiences and would totally prefer to be lonely than with a bad partner match for me. Single is great. Any relationship partner and relationship would have to be as good or better.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Yes.

One shitty relationship where things weren't OK for a long time led me into a horrid casual thing with a narcissist.

Now I am blissfully happy, sometimes you don't realise how shit things are or were until you are out.

Hindsight is valuable. Shame it comes along too late!!

I love the phrase 'blissfully happy'. Long may it continue!"

It would be much nicer if there was no lockdown, but he's going to come live with me in paradise so all will be perfect soon. Hope you are well x

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