FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Owning it

Jump to newest
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38

Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m only twenty three. Only ‘older women’ know what they want and take it.

Us younger women, do not

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I’m only twenty three. Only ‘older women’ know what they want and take it.

Us younger women, do not "

When I was your age, I was with a guy that I'd been with for about 8 years. I was a virgin when we met and I never felt like I had a voice. I didn't feel that what I did know about myself, I could express.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m only twenty three. Only ‘older women’ know what they want and take it.

Us younger women, do not "

Oh also this is sarcasm, I know what I want and I’ll be having it, lots of it thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m only twenty three. Only ‘older women’ know what they want and take it.

Us younger women, do not

When I was your age, I was with a guy that I'd been with for about 8 years. I was a virgin when we met and I never felt like I had a voice. I didn't feel that what I did know about myself, I could express."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

That's a good question, in my experiences, some men don't like being told to maybe do it another way, others are happy to listen and read my body, I spend a good few months building a relationship with them now before I am confident to let them loose on me, sexting is the easiest tool for me to work out if we are sexually compatible

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get called bossy

Some men really don't like to be told

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get called bossy

Some men really don't like to be told "

That’s because some men think they are the absolute best, god forbid you tell them how you like it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get called bossy

Some men really don't like to be told

That’s because some men think they are the absolute best, god forbid you tell them how you like it "

Of course

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I like you OP just let my imagination flow.

I’m not shy at saying what I want or suggesting scenarios, although there is a fine line how that is portrayed from one person to the next. It’s reading their character, their response in initial chats on how far or deep into the mind of fantasy that could go and lead to reality

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#notallmen

#onlythetwats

#yesimtwatbashingagain

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m one of those older women who knows what she wants. Yes guys like it although I must say that there are reallly a lot more sub guys messaging me at the mo which is getting boring...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I like you OP just let my imagination flow.

I’m not shy at saying what I want or suggesting scenarios, although there is a fine line how that is portrayed from one person to the next. It’s reading their character, their response in initial chats on how far or deep into the mind of fantasy that could go and lead to reality

"

You nailed it for me..this is me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination. "

I don't mind a women taking control shows she wants me more, and the more I stroke her imagination the best it works for both of us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"I like you OP just let my imagination flow.

I’m not shy at saying what I want or suggesting scenarios, although there is a fine line how that is portrayed from one person to the next. It’s reading their character, their response in initial chats on how far or deep into the mind of fantasy that could go and lead to reality

You nailed it for me..this is me "

Works for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence is my weakness. If she takes control and works her womanly ways on me I'm like putty in her hands...not my dick though, that's more like hardened clay

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I make it very clear what tune I sing to, and get a good sense of them, way before meeting. It then just becomes a symbiotic flow of lust and creativity

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Confidence is my weakness. If she takes control and works her womanly ways on me I'm like putty in her hands...not my dick though, that's more like hardened clay "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humans are funny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I sometimes worry about this too. I worry I'm being too bossy in saying what I want but most seem to appreciate the communication. I'm never demanding, I just ask and they're often very happy to oblige .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth


"I’m one of those older women who knows what she wants. Yes guys like it although I must say that there are reallly a lot more sub guys messaging me at the mo which is getting boring..."

Ditto

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm equal with my partner, we talk and share ideas and fantasies and our experience together is usually totally different and much more than we could imagine individually. We create synergy, making a sum greater than it's component parts, innit.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such a rich topic to discuss, and right up my alley.

Personally, I do like a sexually confident woman, but that does not mean a dom, although I dont mind that either,I am switch

A woman who knows what she likes, and is confident to get it is very attractive.

Now, to the getting it. I dont think its attractive to be aggresive, its about being classy.

Not many men want to be told what they are doing is not right outright, few women in my experience know how to deliver the message. Most dont do it at all, and some do very directly, few do it with sensitivity and class.

Of course people have their own preferences and kinks, and many like to be complete subs, no problem with that at all.

I like being told what she wants, I also like her being confident to be sexually expressive, but not at the expense of being insensitive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Some guys like it. Some guys seem threatened by it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm equal with my partner, we talk and share ideas and fantasies and our experience together is usually totally different and much more than we could imagine individually. We create synergy, making a sum greater than it's component parts, innit..... "

Innit what?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

Like everything else, it depends on the people involved. If I connect to someone, it really doesn’t matter whether they are sexually confident or not, whether they are demanding and dominant or submissive. If I like someone enough to get they far (and they like me the same way), I trust that we will find our own way to dance, free of labels and expectations Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm equal with my partner, we talk and share ideas and fantasies and our experience together is usually totally different and much more than we could imagine individually. We create synergy, making a sum greater than it's component parts, innit.....

Innit what?"

Meaning it's a relationship, a brilliant one, not someone taking an orgasm or a fantasy from another, innit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Such a rich topic to discuss, and right up my alley.

Personally, I do like a sexually confident woman, but that does not mean a dom, although I dont mind that either,I am switch

A woman who knows what she likes, and is confident to get it is very attractive.

Now, to the getting it. I dont think its attractive to be aggresive, its about being classy.

Not many men want to be told what they are doing is not right outright, few women in my experience know how to deliver the message. Most dont do it at all, and some do very directly, few do it with sensitivity and class.

Of course people have their own preferences and kinks, and many like to be complete subs, no problem with that at all.

I like being told what she wants, I also like her being confident to be sexually expressive, but not at the expense of being insensitive

"

I understand this. I would not like to come accross as insensitive, or to hurt someone's feelings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination. "

I do like it once I get to know them but get a bit fed up of every first message being like that, please restrain yourselves ladies.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my imagination can be a bit full on sometimes, you are never left in much doubt about what I want to do with you as you get daily reminders. I do mute myself occasionally, just to keep that air of mystery

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination.

I do like it once I get to know them but get a bit fed up of every first message being like that, please restrain yourselves ladies."

God your profile photo just made me so fucking moist

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly it depends the context and how it is said.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Certainly don't feel threatened by anyone telling me their desires and wants, in fact I positively welcome it, especially if that comes off the back of mutual connection and chemistry where we're both able to discuss sex and sexuality openly and honestly and see where that takes us.

Likewise if "in the moment" someone was to "guide" me, I wouldn't be upset - while I try and pay attention and listen for cues (both verbal and visible) you can't expect to pick up on all of them, and everyone is different, so if someone suggested something I'd actually feel happy they felt comfortable enough with me to do so.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I think my imagination can be a bit full on sometimes, you are never left in much doubt about what I want to do with you as you get daily reminders. I do mute myself occasionally, just to keep that air of mystery "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Honestly it depends the context and how it is said.

"

I think so too. There was a time I couldn't do it, say what turned me on. Sex was never discussed and I wanted some feedback for us both to have a sexually fulfilling relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Certainly don't feel threatened by anyone telling me their desires and wants, in fact I positively welcome it, especially if that comes off the back of mutual connection and chemistry where we're both able to discuss sex and sexuality openly and honestly and see where that takes us.

Likewise if "in the moment" someone was to "guide" me, I wouldn't be upset - while I try and pay attention and listen for cues (both verbal and visible) you can't expect to pick up on all of them, and everyone is different, so if someone suggested something I'd actually feel happy they felt comfortable enough with me to do so."

I totally agree with this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly it depends the context and how it is said.

I think so too. There was a time I couldn't do it, say what turned me on. Sex was never discussed and I wanted some feedback for us both to have a sexually fulfilling relationship."

Exactly it is pointless to talk with people who do not understand that a conversation is a two way process.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like you OP just let my imagination flow.

I’m not shy at saying what I want or suggesting scenarios, although there is a fine line how that is portrayed from one person to the next. It’s reading their character, their response in initial chats on how far or deep into the mind of fantasy that could go and lead to reality

"

I definitely like to read by her body that's my favourite , if she is spontaneous and a bit aggressive mmmm that's it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me sex is kind of like a dance between two people..both having equal say, desires, wishes and likes and both have an ability to voice these..so I like a woman to voice her desires etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination.

I do like it once I get to know them but get a bit fed up of every first message being like that, please restrain yourselves ladies."

You that so difficult

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I know exactly what I want. But I'm quite submissive, because I want to be.

But if they get it wrong I switch and get bossy.

So goodness knows what that makes me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"For me sex is kind of like a dance between two people..both having equal say, desires, wishes and likes and both have an ability to voice these..so I like a woman to voice her desires etc "

Oh so true

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

Working on this skill. Not quite there yet but the learning curve is certainly fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I sometimes worry about this too. I worry I'm being too bossy in saying what I want but most seem to appreciate the communication. I'm never demanding, I just ask and they're often very happy to oblige ."

I do so love the obliging lover

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Personally I think first few meets it’s nice figuring out each other without too many instructions or kink, just intuitively playing around, maybe surprising each other a little and holding back a little. Then as you get to know each other better and she feels she knows and trusts you, it’s nice for her to tell you exactly what she wants.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

Its about mutual pleasure for me. If we're not both getting off on playing then speak up and tell me and I'll change what I do.

But I tend to discuss/find out dos and don'ts and limits. But when in the action so to speak the body language and the groans will tell you more than any words coming out of her mouth.

If she tells you right there don't stop or move. Keep it the same and dont fucking change it. Thank me later when she's cumming or even squirting for you (and no I dont care about your opinion of squirting i love it and will seek it if I know she has or wants to try)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I’m one of those older women who knows what she wants. Yes guys like it although I must say that there are reallly a lot more sub guys messaging me at the mo which is getting boring..."

I have found this before lockdown. Maybe it's my age, they think I'm going to be a great shag. It's not appealing to me at all. This is why I blocked some ages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Its about mutual pleasure for me. If we're not both getting off on playing then speak up and tell me and I'll change what I do.

But I tend to discuss/find out dos and don'ts and limits. But when in the action so to speak the body language and the groans will tell you more than any words coming out of her mouth.

If she tells you right there don't stop or move. Keep it the same and dont fucking change it. Thank me later when she's cumming or even squirting for you (and no I dont care about your opinion of squirting i love it and will seek it if I know she has or wants to try)"

If it’s someone you know really well , or at the right moment, happy to carry on doing that thing exactly and her a soaking, but may want to purposely bring things off the boil, tease, deny, build up and down, I want more than just being someones wand that they control

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I know exactly what I want. But I'm quite submissive, because I want to be.

But if they get it wrong I switch and get bossy.

So goodness knows what that makes me "

That makes you a woman who knows what she wants and gets it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nabelle21 OP   Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Some guys like it. Some guys seem threatened by it."

I think it's a real shame for a guy to find it threatening. Maybe it's down to the way the message is delivered.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I like equality. I don’t like feeling I have to take the lead all the time. I love it when a woman suggests some fantasy they want to try out.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, control is illusory. As far as partnership in the bedroom or play goes, I love a strong/aggressive woman who can articulate and act on what she wants—as long as there’s communication and not “control”.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!"

Bring it on with bells and whistles. How the hell else is a man going to know what a woman gets off on on..

Trial and error or use the manual!

I'll have the audio book manual please. Far more fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys, I have often heard it said that some love a woman that knows what she wants sexually and just takes it.

Is that a massive turn on?

Or, can it put you off your stroke?

Do you like a woman to tell you her wants and desires?

Can we come across as too sexually aggressive for you? Intimidating you!

Chatting with guys I've often found that less said can be more. I do like to run with my imagination. "

as with everything some guys like a woman to know what she wants and be confident about it but some guys like to at least feel they are orchestrating it, its the subtleties of the mind that make sexual liason the best it can be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually love it. It’s nice to meet someone who knows what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it.

I like that.

Doesn’t mean they’d always get what they want. Sometimes, I like to do my own thing but it’s nice to know what they like or want.

But, I guess age does play a part in that. Without upsetting anyone with the wrong terminology used - in my experience, I’ve never really been sexually compatible with someone my age or younger.

Could just be me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

This is a great thread, warm, intimate open discussion , gentle exploration, both of us talking about what we would like etc I think most guys would love the guidance as to what the lady enjoys...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

Think it depends on how well you can communicate in and out of the bedroom. Theres times when I want a specific thing and then theres others when I want the thrill of not knowing what's coming or if the tempo is going to change just to keep me on my toes ie edging. xT

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *X Mr Kipling XxMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I like being told I'd rather do something they want or like I find it more exciting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

The tone of the conversation during the preamble to any meeting is my guide. I tend to go for an equal sparing partner with verbal / articulate ability to set the scene. I know what I like and don’t like and I lay my cards on the table from the start.

If I’ve gauged it correctly it’s usually mutually beneficial

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heeky_laughMan
over a year ago

Greasby

Love a girl that knows what she wants and likes. I’m a very drive. Person and don’t have time to waste but have all the tine in the world to laugh, love and explore

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I think first few meets it’s nice figuring out each other without too many instructions or kink, just intuitively playing around, maybe surprising each other a little and holding back a little. Then as you get to know each other better and she feels she knows and trusts you, it’s nice for her to tell you exactly what she wants. "

This for me too.

Great thread OP!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get called bossy

Some men really don't like to be told "

love to be told what to do big turn on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top