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Bad jokes

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By *iker boy 69 OP   Man
over a year ago

midlands

Neighbourly spirit is getting good during lockdown. Family of forest fans next door, and the dad just asked if the kids wanted a water fight with his, over the fence.. i said sure, give them 5 minutes. Im just boiling the kettle for my lot now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good bad jokes everyone.

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By *eralt80Man
over a year ago

cork

You can tell the sex if an ant by putting it in water.

If it’s sinks it’s a girl ant and if it floats it’s boy ant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He drowns ants. ^

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"You can tell the sex if an ant by putting it in water.

If it’s sinks it’s a girl ant and if it floats it’s boy ant "

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He condones the drowning of ants. ^

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

A Sioux Indian chief had three daughters. They all got married at the same time, and nine months later all had babies.

The Squaw who laid on the bear hide gave birth to a son.

The Squaw who laid on the bison hide gave birth to a daughter.

The Squaw who laid on the hippopotamus hide gave birth to twins - one boy and one girl.

This just goes to show that the squaw on the hide of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury


"He condones the drowning of ants. ^"

I do indeed

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"A Sioux Indian chief had three daughters. They all got married at the same time, and nine months later all had babies.

The Squaw who laid on the bear hide gave birth to a son.

The Squaw who laid on the bison hide gave birth to a daughter.

The Squaw who laid on the hippopotamus hide gave birth to twins - one boy and one girl.

This just goes to show that the squaw on the hide of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/05/20 13:44:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sioux also name there children after the first thing they see after birth

The boy asked his dad how he got his name ?

The dad says

Why do you ask two dogs fucking?

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

Apologies in advance!

NEWSFLASH: A ship carrying a cargo of red paint has collided with a ship carrying a cargo of blue paint in the Irish sea. Both crews have been marooned!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call 2 robbers?

A pair of nickers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm going to lose my drivers license... ?? and all just because of a stupid police officer...

The conversation went like this:-

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are d*unk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"So, you're d*unk."

Me:"But I didn't drink anything."

Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

Me:"A motorcycle."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"As I suspected, you're d*unk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me:"So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer:"A prostitute of course."

Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend..

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

What's E.T. short for?

Little legs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hubby and I have both made those lists of 5 people that we're allowed to sleep with if we ever get the opportunity. I picked Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman, Jeremy Renner, Kiefer Sutherland and Paul Hollywood. That bastard has gone for my sister, my cousin, my

best mate, our next door neighbour and the fit bird from the Co-op.??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked as a stand up comedian in a old peoples home ... None of them understood my jokes but they still pissed themselves....

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

What's the one thing worse than finding half a worm in your apple?

Finding a blue vein in your hot dog

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