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So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!   | |||
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"Well what did Brett look like" Pre lockdown he would have been a definite no-no! After 6 weeks of lockdown though - not bad at all! | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up! "Tell me a story?  | |||
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"Well what did Brett look like Pre lockdown he would have been a definite no-no! After 6 weeks of lockdown though - not bad at all! "Hi this is Brett I will be round as soon as lock down is over | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up! "I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker | |||
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"The Dominos drivers now recognize me in the street "But what are you doing in the street??? #neccessaryjournies | |||
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"The Dominos drivers now recognize me in the street
But what are you doing in the street???
#neccessaryjournies"Journeys also | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
Tell me a story? "Once upon a time there was a very horny old fart who used her wand so often that it contacted the sex toys union and organised a strike for all my toys! The horny old fart was very sad and cried herself to sleep! The end!  | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. " What's the clothes hanger thing | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. " Clothes hanger trick? I’m intrigued? | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up! "my hotel room smells of fish lol  | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
Tell me a story?
Once upon a time there was a very horny old fart who used her wand so often that it contacted the sex toys union and organised a strike for all my toys!
The horny old fart was very sad and cried herself to sleep!
The end! "That's never the end, there's a club SX chapter missing... | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker"Mine are octogenarians. Hope yours is at least younger? | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker
Mine are octogenarians. Hope yours is at least younger? "Definitely younger, cute too | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
Tell me a story?
Once upon a time there was a very horny old fart who used her wand so often that it contacted the sex toys union and organised a strike for all my toys!
The horny old fart was very sad and cried herself to sleep!
The end!
That's never the end, there's a club SX chapter missing... "Several chapters - but thinking about past sexploits makes me horny - and my sex toys are on strike - remember?  | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker
Mine are octogenarians. Hope yours is at least younger?
Definitely younger, cute too "What is an octogenarian | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker
Mine are octogenarians. Hope yours is at least younger?
Definitely younger, cute too "Aw - what a shame he’s a wanker then! X | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
I started fantasising about my neighbour even though he's a total wanker
Mine are octogenarians. Hope yours is at least younger?
Definitely younger, cute too
What is an octogenarian "Someone in their eighties! He may be in his seventies though - I haven’t asked! | |||
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"Decided to get on the tictok bandwagon and have turned into more of a perv than I was before - oooooooh those gents that do the little dances are nearly making my foofoo flutter away. Oh my! Oh my! I’m way too old for it but it’s lockdown so what else can you do? Psyche "I’ve heard of tic-tlc as my kids use it but wouldn’t know where to start! Love your latest pic though btw! | |||
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"This is how I know I've been in lock down too long. I really need to know what an octogenarian is and I don't care at all arghhhhhh" With you on that one. I keep pausing tv programs to google things! | |||
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"This is how I know I've been in lock down too long. I really need to know what an octogenarian is and I don't care at all arghhhhhh With you on that one. I keep pausing tv programs to google things! "Me too but its embarrassing when it's only playschool I'm watching  | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
Tell me a story?
Once upon a time there was a very horny old fart who used her wand so often that it contacted the sex toys union and organised a strike for all my toys!
The horny old fart was very sad and cried herself to sleep!
The end!
That's never the end, there's a club SX chapter missing...
Several chapters - but thinking about past sexploits makes me horny - and my sex toys are on strike - remember? "Improvise my love! What's wrong with a good old fashioned spin cycle and a cactus....? | |||
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Oh and thank you x | |||
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"In my case it was two days ago when I was awaiting a delivery of dog food. Got a text that morning to tell me Brett the delivery driver would be here around 2pm - and I spent all morning excitedly wondering what Brett would look like!
So - what’s happened to you that made you realise you’ve been in lockdown waaaaay too long?
Ps - Real stories or - if you prefer - make one up!
Tell me a story?
Once upon a time there was a very horny old fart who used her wand so often that it contacted the sex toys union and organised a strike for all my toys!
The horny old fart was very sad and cried herself to sleep!
The end!
That's never the end, there's a club SX chapter missing...
Several chapters - but thinking about past sexploits makes me horny - and my sex toys are on strike - remember?
Improvise my love! What's wrong with a good old fashioned spin cycle and a cactus....? "When I was little we had a spin dryer that was so old it practically jumped around the room - so my mum used to make me sit on it to keep it still! I don’t recall any cacti being involved though? X | |||
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" Awe you should go on it - it takes seconds to join up but don’t blame me if you sit all day looking at the hot lads O
Oh and thank you x "Thanks - I may take a look! | |||
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"You shag the postie?" Please tell me that’s a true story? | |||
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"Daily highlight is having a shower at 5pm, getting dressed, doing your hair and going out for a lettuce or a loaf of bread " Tbh my hair is awful right now. Desperately need cutting and the grey roots are about an inch long. Leaving colouring it until after lockdown though to let the condition improve. At least you’re buying lettuce though - I’ve turned into a chocoholic! | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. " Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here "Still don’t know what that is - but I’m intrigued! X | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here
Still don’t know what that is - but I’m intrigued! X"Can you hang your coat off your erect nipples? | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here
Still don’t know what that is - but I’m intrigued! X
Can you hang your coat off your erect nipples?"Ah - nope! The nipples may be erect but I don’t think the boobies are firm enough to be the support act! | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here
Still don’t know what that is - but I’m intrigued! X
Can you hang your coat off your erect nipples?
Ah - nope! The nipples may be erect but I don’t think the boobies are firm enough to be the support act! "Cheat and lean back a bit, no cheating here | |||
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"You actually do try that clothes hanger trick. As advised on forum. Not sure which of the two makes me look more insane. Yep, passed the coat hanger challenge here
Still don’t know what that is - but I’m intrigued! X
Can you hang your coat off your erect nipples?
Ah - nope! The nipples may be erect but I don’t think the boobies are firm enough to be the support act! Cheat and lean back a bit, no cheating here "have you ever been to Studlands? | |||
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"Maybe we should start a “towel challenge” for the boys?" Marvellous idea | |||
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"Maybe we should start a “towel challenge” for the boys? Marvellous idea "I’m in | |||
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"When you realised that homosexuals are gay" Not all of them... Some can he reet miserable | |||
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"...12 months of booze in six weeks" went down sink......... why? | |||
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"...12 months of booze in six weekswent down sink......... why? "You must be joking, I'd even have the trifle sherry | |||
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"...12 months of booze in six weekswent down sink......... why?
You must be joking, I'd even have the trifle sherry "lol shall i get in touch with the priory | |||
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"...12 months of booze in six weekswent down sink......... why?
You must be joking, I'd even have the trifle sherry lol shall i get in touch with the priory "Not just yet I'm having so much fun... Well yesterday I was  | |||
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"You’ve completed Pornhub." My kids are teenagers. To get a quick porn and wand session I have to leave the shower running to drown out the noise and provide an ‘alibi’! | |||
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"You thought it was Wednesday all day. " I swear I have to look at the calendar on my phone to check the day as well as the date! | |||
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"When you've no idea what day it is !! "With you there my lovely xx | |||
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"I had to turn the cushion over on my spot on the sofa cos I’m making an arse groove!" I know. I have major guilt that I haven’t deep cleaned the house, have an amazing garden and bake every other day! Instead I’ve watched about a million box sets and chased a puppy round the house pretty constantly! | |||
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"You think you have completed Netflix and start to watch porn and just get jealous because their actually getting some and your not. "Amen sister! I loathe couples on here now because they’re ‘getting’ it whilst the rest of us aren’t! Actually I need another thread to tell them just how much I hate them! | |||
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"You think you have completed Netflix and start to watch porn and just get jealous because their actually getting some and your not.
Amen sister! I loathe couples on here now because they’re ‘getting’ it whilst the rest of us aren’t!
Actually I need another thread to tell them just how much I hate them! " | |||
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"You think you have completed Netflix and start to watch porn and just get jealous because their actually getting some and your not.
Amen sister! I loathe couples on here now because they’re ‘getting’ it whilst the rest of us aren’t!
Actually I need another thread to tell them just how much I hate them!
"You know me - I never bear grudges! | |||
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"When you do your hair and put lippy on to take the bin out "Yes! I wore high heels and perfume to go for a blood test! | |||
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"When you do your hair and put lippy on to take the bin out
Yes! I wore high heels and perfume to go for a blood test! "Got to be done | |||
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"When you do your hair and put lippy on to take the bin out "Definitely not here! The hairs on my legs and bits are so long now I’ll need to borrow a beard trimmer after lockdown! | |||
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"When you do your hair and put lippy on to take the bin out
Definitely not here! The hairs on my legs and bits are so long now I’ll need to borrow a beard trimmer after lockdown! "I had to jump out of bed today I nearly missed them
Peachy you crack me up | |||
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"Well what did Brett look like Pre lockdown he would have been a definite no-no! After 6 weeks of lockdown though - not bad at all!
Hi this is Brett I will be round as soon as lock down is over "No I'm Brett!! | |||
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"I've been folding and organising my carrier bags "Oooo I’ve made all my carrier bags into little triangles lol x | |||
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"After not going out of the house for the past 6 weeks I’m sure I could start writing erotic fiction with all the fantasy’s I’m dreaming up "... Can I be included in your Fantasies please xxx | |||
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"I have started having conversations with my plants. At least they realise how fascinating I am!" Ha! Don't get me started on the gardening. Not doing it again next year! | |||
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