FabSwingers.com forum: Perfect full English?

By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

Following a request from HMQL, please describe your perfect English breakfast.

I don’t want any nonsense about a Welsh or Ulster fry, or indeed a ‘Scottish’ breakfast. We all know what an English breakfast is or should be.

So, contents and preferred location please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why cant she do it?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Come on, don't knock a Scottish breakfast

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea ."

Sounds perfect - what a great location.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Come on, don't knock a Scottish breakfast "

Stop it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standard for me, location: anywhere

2 bacon, 2 sausage, fried egg beans, mushrooms, black pudding and 2 hash browns, maybe fried bread too. And a cup of builders tea

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To start strong, hot, fresh coffee in a pot that keeps it warm with a plentiful supply of hot milk, toast with salted butter and chunky marmalade. Followed by two rashers of decent bacon, one sausage, one fried egg, mushrooms and tomatoes. Next a small bowl of Greek yogurt with walnuts and honey or some baked banana with demerara sugar. Finally a second lot of coffee.

I think that covers it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No! I forgot a small, freshly baked pain Au chocolat with the second lot of coffee

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By *iggydog78Man
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 04/05/20 09:32:38]

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By *iggydog78Man
over a year ago

London

"2 sausage

2 Bacon

2 fried eggs

Fried slice

Mushrooms

Fresh tomatoes fried

Black pudding

Pot of tea (drink when strong/brewed)

Your welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My guilty pleasure is them all you can munch breakfast buffets

I get a full plate and a load of toast and chuck it all in the sandwich then after I've demoli that I go back up for another breakfast proper ..

This is the trouble of being 6'4 and a growing boy

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"No! I forgot a small, freshly baked pain Au chocolat with the second lot of coffee"

Sounds great - but where? South coast looking out to sea perhaps?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"No! I forgot a small, freshly baked pain Au chocolat with the second lot of coffee

Sounds great - but where? South coast looking out to sea perhaps? "

Yes, that's where we eat it if we're at home. If we aren't in purdah our preference is a small and beautiful hotel in Madeira. We can but dream

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea ."

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooooo I just noticed this thread

I’m so fucking hungry. SO FUCKING HUNGRY

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant she do it?"

Why can’t I do what?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... "
Why not?? Quintessential breakfast item imo

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Sounds perfect - what a great location."

It's a real place btw , I miss it

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... Why not?? Quintessential breakfast item imo

And mine Grumpy! But it's not part of a traditional English ......

Hash Browns are American. You're only a baby. I'm pre frozen food era darling.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... Why not?? Quintessential breakfast item imo

And mine Grumpy! But it's not part of a traditional English ......

Hash Browns are American. You're only a baby. I'm pre frozen food era darling."

I forgot your age sorry .

I guess you had Gruel

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... Why not?? Quintessential breakfast item imo

And mine Grumpy! But it's not part of a traditional English ......

Hash Browns are American. You're only a baby. I'm pre frozen food era darling.

I forgot your age sorry .

I guess you had Gruel

Cheeky little fooker! No hash browns but we did have a fried slice.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... Why not?? Quintessential breakfast item imo

And mine Grumpy! But it's not part of a traditional English ......

Hash Browns are American. You're only a baby. I'm pre frozen food era darling.

I forgot your age sorry .

I guess you had Gruel

Cheeky little fooker! No hash browns but we did have a fried slice."
You mean fried bread yes ??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Yes. I said a fried slice.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Yes. I said a fried slice. "

Just clarifying Granny as I've never heard it called that

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

My perfect full English.

1 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

1 fried egg. No snot but with a runny yolk

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

Toast and butter.

A well brewed breakfast tea.

Anything more is an imposter.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Yes. I said a fried slice.

Just clarifying Granny as I've never heard it called that

Im a brummy ......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

It's a froid sloice.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Yes. I said a fried slice.

Just clarifying Granny as I've never heard it called that

Im a brummy ...... "

That would explain it then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My perfect full English.

See the updates below

2 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

2 fried eggs. No runny yolk.

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

2 hash browns

Mushrooms

Baked beans

Baked tomato for decoration

Fresh Coffee

Anything more is welcome

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"My perfect full English.

1 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

1 fried egg. No snot but with a runny yolk

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

Toast and butter.

A well brewed breakfast tea.

Anything more is an imposter.

Perfect. But where? Give an ideal location please.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Why cant she do it?

Why can’t I do what?"

Cook your own - I think that’s the suggestion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why cant she do it?

Why can’t I do what?

Cook your own - I think that’s the suggestion? "

I don’t cook

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"My perfect full English.

1 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

1 fried egg. No snot but with a runny yolk

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

Toast and butter.

A well brewed breakfast tea.

Anything more is an imposter.

Perfect. But where? Give an ideal location please. "

England.

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Seeing as I'm not allowed to have my Scottish breakfast

Location is down Bournemouth a place called urban reef.

2 sausage

2 bacon

2 eggs (sometimes scrambled)

Beans

mushrooms

hash brown ( that my daughter eats)

Washed down with fresh orange juice

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Okay , Okay , Okay ! I just re read the O.P.

Perfect Location would be outdoors beside Windermere ( quiet spot ) with a newspaper and refillable tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This brekkie we washing it down with a £6 Costa or a 20p made at home builders ???

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"My perfect full English.

1 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

1 fried egg. No snot but with a runny yolk

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

Toast and butter.

A well brewed breakfast tea.

Anything more is an imposter.

Perfect. But where? Give an ideal location please.

England."

To guarantee the tea? A friend says “never drink coffee in England or tea away from England. He lives in France, I always take a huge box of Yorkshire tea when I visit .

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Seeing as I'm not allowed to have my Scottish breakfast

Location is down Bournemouth a place called urban reef.

2 sausage

2 bacon

2 eggs (sometimes scrambled)

Beans

mushrooms

hash brown ( that my daughter eats)

Washed down with fresh orange juice"

Orange juice

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Why cant she do it?

Why can’t I do what?

Cook your own - I think that’s the suggestion?

I don’t cook"

Except Fudge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bacon

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Bacon

Bacon

"
Cant really argue with that ??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"My perfect full English.

1 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

1 fried egg. No snot but with a runny yolk

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

Toast and butter.

A well brewed breakfast tea.

Anything more is an imposter.

Perfect. But where? Give an ideal location please.

England.

To guarantee the tea? A friend says “never drink coffee in England or tea away from England. He lives in France, I always take a huge box of Yorkshire tea when I visit . "

To guarantee the tea , you must use Twinnings at the very least. No cheap tea that has been made from bags of leaf dust can cut the taste.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Pink

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Bacon

Bacon

So many pigs in the world. Get chompin' .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bacon

Bacon

Cant really argue with that ??"

Maybe with a teeny tiny bit of black pudding! I have a figure to maintain

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

A breakfast of just bacon wouldn't put the weight on x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I didn't mean to kiss you then. Force of fucking habit when texting. The boss x'd me the other day. I thought fuck i'm too old for this shite.......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I should have asked for a rise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A massive mug of tea. With a pot to refill.

3 toast

2 fried bread

Plum tomatoes

Beans

4 bacon, minimum

4 Cumberland sausages, minimum

Black pudding

Fried mushroom

Scrambled egg with cheese

2 Hash browns

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"A massive mug of tea. With a pot to refill.

3 toast

2 fried bread

Plum tomatoes

Beans

4 bacon, minimum

4 Cumberland sausages, minimum

Black pudding

Fried mushroom

Scrambled egg with cheese

2 Hash browns"

Rather keep you a week than a fortnight.

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

Laxey Glen, Isle of Man

Sausage, crispy bacon, black pudding, mushrooms, beans, poached egg, toast with lashings of butter and a cup of tea mmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A breakfast of just bacon wouldn't put the weight on x"

No it wouldn't Granny

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Bacon

Bacon

Cant really argue with that ??

Maybe with a teeny tiny bit of black pudding! I have a figure to maintain

"
Now you've gone and spoiled it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Belly buster. 3 sausage, 3 bacon, 3 eggs, beans, toms tinned not fresh, fried toast, normal toast, mushrooms, black pudding and white pudding!

Sleep after that then wondwr why I don't fit in my old jeans anymore.

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By *illy999TV/TS
over a year ago

Taunton

"Location - Greasy Spoon Cafe in Marmaris Turkey ( run by an English Couple)

Contents:- 2 Sausage , 2 Bacon , 2 Fried Egg , Hash Browns , Beans , 2 rounds of Toast .

And Yorkshire Tea .

Hash browns ffs....... They are not part of an English ...... "

Hash browns FFS , EXACTLY , yank garbage pollution yet again , it'll be "eggs over" next ! Gawd help us...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bacon

Bacon

Cant really argue with that ??

Maybe with a teeny tiny bit of black pudding! I have a figure to maintain

Now you've gone and spoiled it

Want not waste not. I'll yours 'an all then

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

My dear departed dad used to make a fantastic full English back in the day. We didn't get it every weekend , which made it even more of a treat.

Everything was fried, in dripping, never grilled. (When I introduced him to the concept of grilled bacon in my teens he wasn't impressed!)

So fried eggs, bacon, sometimes fried potatoes, fried bread, tomatoes.

Plus white bread and butter (never toast) which he told us we had to eat "to absorb the grease"!!

Kids had tomato sauce, dad had Encona hot sauce and also fried courgettes if it was that time of year.

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My perfect full English.

See the updates below

2 thick meaty sausage like cumberland or lincolnshire.

2 slices of fatty back bacon, hot with the fat crisped.

2 fried eggs. No runny yolk.

1 halved and blackened fried tomato.

2 hash browns

Mushrooms

Baked beans

Baked tomato for decoration

Fresh Coffee

Anything more is welcome

Forgot to add black pudding and orange juice.

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By *oroRick1027Man
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Can't beat the all you can eat breakfast at the Toby Carvery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't beat the all you can eat breakfast at the Toby Carvery"

Had that once and never again! Awful sausages and bacon was so fatty and floppy. In my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you weirdos choosing congealed blood

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"All you weirdos choosing congealed blood

I love Black Puddin........

But orange juice .. No thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My answer is who’s cooking mine after lockdown breakfast in bed

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"My answer is who’s cooking mine after lockdown breakfast in bed "

Breakfast in bed? Disgusting!

Bed is for three things only:

Sleeping

Fucking

Farting

Thought everyone knew that?

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Two sausage, two bacon, two egg, beans, white pudding, black pudding, fried tomato, an actually tomato, not tinned.

No hash browns. No fried bread.

And tea and toast.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Two sausage, two bacon, two egg, beans, white pudding, black pudding, fried tomato, an actually tomato, not tinned.

No hash browns. No fried bread.

And tea and toast. "

Yes it's fusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yeah. My favourite ??

2 Boston sausage, the best.

2 thick rashers of back bacon, it's bad, so go thick

2 slices Black pudding, kiss the pan and don't burn it

2 sunny eggs, double yolkers if you please

1 scrambled egg, light, fluffy and not irradiated

1 slice of fried bread, cut into two triangles

Chestnut mushrooms sautéed in butter

With half a fresh beef tomato

Ketchup

Maybe a few beans, but not essential.

Coffee and juice.

Thats my shopping list sorted for this week

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

2 lean bacon, 2 or possibly 3 fried eggs, lots of toast, 1 sausage, tinned tomatoes, baked beans, mushrooms. Tea and coffee but tea essentially.

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