FabSwingers.com forum: Daft things your parents say

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That every bloody parent says

‘If your friend jumped off a cliff would you do it as well?!’

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

You've been single for years, are you a lesbian

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By *ilmissplumpyWoman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

It's over rated...

She meant sex! Boy was she wrong

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Me. 'Mum, what's for dinner?!'

Mum. 'Sh*t with sugar on!'

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you aren't good, santa wont give you anything.

Usually only im November Decemeber.

Then forget about it the rest of the year.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"That every bloody parent says

‘If your friend jumped off a cliff would you do it as well?!’"

As I got older and my mouth smarter "no they don't have a bungee cord and no it doesn't sound like fun!"

It was always Sydney Harbour Bridge my friends were apparently jumping off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you aren't good, santa wont give you anything.

Usually only im November Decemeber.

Then forget about it the rest of the year."

We got told we’d get a bag of coal and potato peelings if we were naughty. God knows where that came from!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

If you eat your crusts your hair will go curly

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

If you keep pulling that face and the wind blows it will stay like that.... do you really want that????

Still did it... wind changed. I was let down that day.... never believed anything she ever said since then!

Haha

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Act your age, not your shoe size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit too close to the telly and you’ll get square eyes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sit too close to the telly and you’ll get square eyes "

I tell my baba this

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."

One of my favourite sayings.

They still do though, the daft buggers!

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll be taken to the boat where all the naughty children are kept

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan
over a year ago

london

I’d love to hear my parents so something daft but sadly I lost them both a few years ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’d love to hear my parents so something daft but sadly I lost them both a few years ago

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By *arrasicMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I cant find my ##

Where did you put it last

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

If you fall off that and break your leg don’t run crying to me!!! Ermm ok I won’t

If the flies were stormy my dad always said “it’s black over Bill’s mothers” we never knew who Bill was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want a smack?

(These days it's me that Wants a smack!)

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"I’d love to hear my parents so something daft but sadly I lost them both a few years ago

We’ve just had the second anniversary of losing my dad, hugs to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tables are for glasses.. not asses!!!

If only she knew

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Mum can I have a bike?

Yes, when my ship comes in!

For years I really thought we had a ship

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Mum can I have a bike?

Yes, when my ship comes in!

For years I really thought we had a ship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t go near the railway or Purple Acki will get you.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"If you keep pulling that face and the wind blows it will stay like that.... do you really want that????

Still did it... wind changed. I was let down that day.... never believed anything she ever said since then!

Haha"

Foil Arms and Hogg do a great skit on this, worth a g@@gle

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

There's not a computer in my phone.

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By *JB1880Man
over a year ago

Kent

"Me. 'Mum, what's for dinner?!'

Mum. 'Sh*t with sugar on!'

Jo.Xx "

This!

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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

Eat your veg! They'll put hair on your chest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't kiss boys they get you pregnant

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Muuuummm what's for dinner?

Bread and Pullet.

What's that?

Well I'll give you some bread and you can pull it!

Hahaha,I use this one on my kid now

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Eat your veg! They'll put hair on your chest

Yeah, I’d rather you didn’t tbh

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Eat your veg! They'll put hair on your chest

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about! (Eh?)

(Or if I laughed out of turn, maybe when being told off) - I'll make you laugh on the other side of your face!

(WTF? Isn't a laugh a full facial movement?).

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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

"Eat your veg! They'll put hair on your chest

Yeah, I’d rather you didn’t tbh

Luckily I wax?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Masturbating will make you go blind.

(I now wear glasses !)

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

You will catch your death in that

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

“Sorry, I can’t (whatever it happens to be) “

‘Why not?’

“Because I’ve got a bone in my leg’

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By *elleshellsCouple
over a year ago

North Manchester

“Because I said” - to every question that started with “but why?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Sorry, I can’t (whatever it happens to be) “

‘Why not?’

“Because I’ve got a bone in my leg’

Telling me go up stairs when i just got downstairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off"

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"You will catch your death in that

Or as my mother once replied to her Mum to that, "Why not! Could I go out naked instead?"

She was instantly grounded! No going out that evening!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Is a bone broken or something on fire? No? Then don't bother me!

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

Shut that bloody door! Were you born in a barn?

Put the big light on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger my mum unofficially adopted a runaway street kid who became my unofficial foster sister for about ten years. Unbeknownst to me mother in her infinite wit and wisdom told my sister not to eat prawns because they're fishes cocks. Ten year later I'm sat round sisters council flat and got a prawn coctail sarnie from the spar. "Ugh dont eat that Dan, its fish cocks!" She'd been convinced for years like...

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Shut that bloody door! Were you born in a barn?

Put the big light on "

I still use these now.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put some clothes on.

You're not going out dressed like that!

That's not a skirt, it's a belt.

You need to take that outfit back and get a refund, half of it is missing.

Said by my dad who disapproved of every skirt or dress I ever bought.

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Children should be seen and not heard now I’m a parent I understand this fully

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By *aliant and LoyalCouple
over a year ago

Long Eaton

[Removed by poster at 03/05/20 15:04:00]

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By *aliant and LoyalCouple
over a year ago

Long Eaton

As adults we don't Lick people!!

LIES!!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"As adults we don't Lick people!!

LIES!!"

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A few winters ago a small child started gnawing my coat and I found myself channelling my mother.

"Don't put that in your mouth, sweetheart, you don't know where it's been"

(The lady with the child laughed)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did you find a girlfriend yet?

everytime im going back to italy once a day ..

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

... you won't feel the benefit

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan
over a year ago

london

"I’d love to hear my parents so something daft but sadly I lost them both a few years ago

We’ve just had the second anniversary of losing my dad, hugs to you

Thank you xxx, I lost both my parents and two brothers in a few years. I’m not sure I managed to properly grieve for 4 people in just a few years

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

My mum always says 'you'll be daft when you grow up'

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You'll be like us when you grow up

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... oh and I'd become more right wing when I got older. I've barely moved. My mum has gone left

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By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

if you don't stop crying I will give you something to cry about.

crusts make your hair curly.

all of them above as well (apart from bill).

worst bit is I've said them all to my daughter. slap on the forehead moment with the realisation i'd turned into my parents

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.

Cheers mum

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I find myself repeating "turn the tap off, you'll empty (the name of the dam that supplies the area where I grew up"

I get stared at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum always says 'you'll be daft when you grow up'

Don't grow up.

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"My mum always says 'you'll be daft when you grow up'

Don't grow up."

Haha, that's my plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever I got caught telling porky pies or bring cheeky - mum would always say ‘did I give birth to you or did you give birth to me?’

Erm, mum, I’m only little. I thought I was dropped off at the door?

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

"Me. 'Mum, what's for dinner?!'

Mum. 'Sh*t with sugar on!'

Jo.Xx "

I use to get this from my mum all the time along with stewed bricks and buttered planks.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

If in doubt double bag it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've got blood pressure"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That every bloody parent says

‘If your friend jumped off a cliff would you do it as well?!’"

Similar: head in the oven.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me. 'Mum, what's for dinner?!'

Mum. 'Sh*t with sugar on!'

Jo.Xx "

"air pie and windy pudding"

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

If I got the slightest of injury my mum would say "ah well, we'll just have to amputate at the neck"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you eat your crusts your hair will go curly"

and I didn't want curly hair

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

If the wind changes your face will stay like that

To which my sister would normally say it already had!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Act your age, not your shoe size. "

Suits me now - size 37/8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shut that bloody door! Were you born in a barn?

Put the big light on "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad used to say don't take this the wrong way... Which I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a wobbly tooth.

Have you been kissing the boys?

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Dont touch the oven, its hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had brains you would be dangerous

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

It’s like Blackpool illuminations in here

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Turn the heating down it's on Chernobyl setting

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

You just wait until your father gets home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were told to put your hand in a fire would you

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

Do you want a thick ear ???

Yeah always ready for a slap !!! NOT

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