FabSwingers.com forum: Can't cum when with a guy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She said never so I guess she means never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh lovely

I do find it hard to cum with a guy too which can be frustrating, especially when he makes it a mission to make me which doesn't help.

Give yourself time and patience, you say you can make yourself cum with your fingers, maybe use his fingers and show him what you like

And try penetration when you are close, but control the rhythm and pace.

Experiment and have fun, don't put pressure on yourself and don't let him put the pressure on either xx

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh lovely

I do find it hard to cum with a guy too which can be frustrating, especially when he makes it a mission to make me which doesn't help.

Give yourself time and patience, you say you can make yourself cum with your fingers, maybe use his fingers and show him what you like

And try penetration when you are close, but control the rhythm and pace.

Experiment and have fun, don't put pressure on yourself and don't let him put the pressure on either xx

Good luck

So frustrating especially if he gets off girls cumming and I can't.

Thank you! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh lovely

I do find it hard to cum with a guy too which can be frustrating, especially when he makes it a mission to make me which doesn't help.

Give yourself time and patience, you say you can make yourself cum with your fingers, maybe use his fingers and show him what you like

And try penetration when you are close, but control the rhythm and pace.

Experiment and have fun, don't put pressure on yourself and don't let him put the pressure on either xx

Good luck

So frustrating especially if he gets off girls cumming and I can't.

Thank you! xx"

Yeah I know and hey that's a guys nature because to him it means sucesss and validation of his prowess.

No putting pressure on yourself, but yeah I understand how it can make you feel.

You aren't other girls, you are you...

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By *969BewitchedWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

It's rare I do either. If I do it takes me forever.

I can do it myself within a couple of minutes but just doesn't happen with someone else doing it.

If it does happen it's usually with someone I am very comfy with who knows what makes me tick and has the patience of a saint!

It's not a big deal for me though, I am not any less satisfied if I don't as long as the overall experience is a good one

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"

I'd suggest you describe or show him what you like and don't like, but he should be able to read your body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He is not doing it right lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you play with yourself, do you use toys? If so, have you used toys with a guy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That must be frustrating.

Have you had much experience with guys?

I’m not saying I could succeed where they failed but you might of just not found the right kind of man yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make a show of it and do what you usually do while he’s in you? So he learns?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I'm nervous or feel in any way uncomfortable, I find it near impossible to orgasm, and if I do, it's never as good as when I'm properly relaxed. Do you think it could be something similar for you? Especially if you're aware and putting pressure on yourself to cum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"
sorry to bother you do you cum when guy licks you out. When is having sex with you he might not be hitting right spot proberly

I can make women cum when I lick some cum when I'm having sex and some dont

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I was the same, until I met a man on here who taught me how to let go and completely receive pleasure orally and I am now putty in his hands, it's very rare I orgasm with penetration due to the concentration I need to tip over to cum, luckily my fwb is fully happy with our pursuit of pleasure that does not have to end in my ejaculation, our journey is more of a sensual connection ??

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By *ettercallsaul118Man
over a year ago

Funtown

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"

Maybe you not found the right guy. Ohh try tantric sex

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys,

I was with my ex for 3 years so I was very comfortable and tried everything to set the mood. I also have shown him what I like etc. Guess I have yet to meet the right person. Nice to know Im not the only one! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never cum either and only figuring out how to make myself cum. I know for me it's a mental thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it Could be a lot of different things , from performance anxiety to not being with the right person .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys,

You will meet him, you need someone patient and understanding.

I have recently met that person... You will too I'm sure

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By *m A FuckerMan
over a year ago

kingswood,surrey/leysdown kent

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"
im actually the same,thought that at my age might get erectile problems.but no.rock hard just cant cum while fucking,always have to finish the job off by hand

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

In my experience it's a lot to do with what's going on in your head. Think about your mindset when you do and when you don't - what is stopping you, and what can you change?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

They aren’t doing you right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it sometimes boils down to how comfortable you’re feeling in ‘letting yourself go’ whilst in front of another person.

I tend to find that once someone is able to relax, let themselves go - they can orgasm easily or as they would by themselves.

There’s always a mental barrier and I’ve had a couple of people say similar. But, once they control the situation or the antics in the bedroom, it works.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"

There was a thread earlier about people looking for sensuality and intelligence. I think all lovers are primarily either lustful, sensual or intimate, and so maybe you need a different type ? Sometimes lustful just doesn’t push the right buttons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't say I've never cum but I've definitely had times where it's not happened or been harder because of what's in my head. A lot of it for me is how comfortable I feel, how relaxed I am and my relationship with the other person but even then a bad or shitty mood can put a halt to everything.

Hugs lovely xx

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By *m A FuckerMan
over a year ago

kingswood,surrey/leysdown kent

think its true about the mindset,plus alcohol plays a part.....still rock hard just don't cum!!..grrrrr lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah its just so frustrating! Feel like maybe im putting myself under too much pressure. Guess I can't relax as I'm too concentrated on pleasing him! Will try and not over think it and see if this helps!

Thank you! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah its just so frustrating! Feel like maybe im putting myself under too much pressure. Guess I can't relax as I'm too concentrated on pleasing him! Will try and not over think it and see if this helps!

Thank you! x"

It should be the other way around (and I’m not just saying it). He should be focusing on you and you should be getting yourself spoilt.

In turn, you’ll be pleasing him too.

But, that’s just me.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Need to relax. Have you had long term partners?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think you should make the rule that a guy shouldn't make you cum for a while, whilst you explore different ways of men exploring your body with you, for a while. Teach and explore for a long time. It may be that you need different emotional connections with them too. Whilst you can get yourself to cum alone, some steps may be needed to transpose that to a guy getting you to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"

Like most of the comments above, take your time and talk about what you like and you and what you dont like, maybe foreplay first before penetrating, get him to to play with his hands first... good luck girl x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you play with yourself, do you use toys? If so, have you used toys with a guy?"

Deep investigation, must yelled something very interesting

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah had long and short term.

I will try and learn to relax and get in the right mind set and hopefully this helps!

Thanks all x

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By *idan4445Man
over a year ago

Paisley

I personal find it all depends on the connection on how easy it is too make them cum, iif you are both attracted to each other but also attracted to the personality make it more enjoyable and the cum just flows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah had long and short term.

I will try and learn to relax and get in the right mind set and hopefully this helps!

Thanks all x"

I can’t comment because usually people complain about fast cumming. Just I am reading what’s everyone says here.

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By *r and Mrs PenguinCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Apart from hubby. Been together 16 years. So he's got to know me well. Haha.

We've had about 8 meets, single guys, I have never cum. I've gushed and got very wet but never orgasmed.

I only orgasm if I'm in control.

I also find if things are too wet, even with hubby, I won't orgasm.

My sex drive is crazy tho, when I do cum, I have to cum more and more.. xxx

Onviously very easy to make myself do it and within a few mins. Sometimes also, the longer we are at It, the less chance I have of cuming unles I take charge. Lol..

Deffo explore, have fun. Tell them how, when, where, why.

It's about u also, sometimes telling a guy it's hard for to orgasm turns them into a Duracell bunny and they think they need to fuck like crazy to get it to happen or turn their fingers into a fecking Jack hammer on ya clit to bring u off... Lol.

Good luck hun. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never?

Phew! What a relief!

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Thank you! x"

You've actually answers this yourself without realising it.

When we have any problem with ourselves then after some careful introspection we finally find the key so I'll explain.

You feel frustrated. Not just frustrated but SO frustrated. Negative energy leads to blockages in sexual energy. Something women go through often when the mood to fuck dissipates.

Feel like I'm putting myself under too much pressure. You're making it harder for yourself because you're constantly increasing the blockage. You're making the problem harder for yourself by being hard and harder on yourself.

Guess I can't relax as I'm too concentrated on pleasing him. You've focused on him and not you. You've been unable to relax. You're trying to please someone other than yourself. You've got this all wrong. Sex has to always begin with pleasing yourself.

You are able to masturbate successfully so your issue isn't you at all. Your body responds to you and your touch because it knows it is safe and permitted to cum.

Your issue is the other men. Your are insecure sexually so try to please them and in return you take the focus of you and both of you and instead make sex a stressful task that must happen for him.

Will try and not over think it and see if it helps. No wrong thinking help because now you think you are over thinking it. The issue isn't over thinking the issues are:

1) not understanding the purpose of sex is mutual pleasure not 1 way and the multitude of ways to reach orgasm.

2) the men you have chosen who haven't understood this.

The issue isn't for you to cum the issue is for you to enjoy sex and foreplay and all that comes from it. The orgasm comes when you are focused on just being playful.

The man shouldn't fixate on you cumming that's your business he should simply be privileged to have your body there next comes your mind and soul.

The man needs to make you relaxed and feel at ease with your body and his and thus with just enjoying foreplay and anything. You are trying too hard and rushing to make him feel great when your focus should simply be to enjoy his cock and his body.

As a man my goal isn't to make you come that's your prerogative and your business. My goal is to listen to your needs and your body and to allow you to open up to my masculinity.

Your blockages will open up when you find a partner who makes you worry less about cumming for his pleasure but know that being with him is his pleasure full stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?"

Just stick to women. That is what I do!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ladies looking for advice please. I've never been able to cum with a guy through fingers, oral or penetration. I've only been able to cum when playing myself.

Has anyone gone through similar and have any tips?

Just stick to women. That is what I do!

Haha sometimes I don’t blame you!

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