FabSwingers.com forum: The "joys" of fluctuation.

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Most of the month I'm relatively sane. Quite calm. Not the jealous sort. Bit too talkative but you know... normal.

But once a month, for several days, I'm a hormonal mess. I could happily fuck a man senseless but then spend the next few hours sobbing that I'm not that attractive and how could anyone actually be interested in me? Or snap at him if he doesn't worship the ground I'm walking on. And these mood swings are tiring; in an ideal world I'd not communicate with anyone but I'm waaaay too needy to do that. And it's not fair to those I care about, I think they must eyeroll hard/be tired of it.

What I'm asking basically - are any other women like this? How do you deal with this time?

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I am so like this, and it's got markedly worse over the last 6 months or so. I've found the best thing for me is to remove myself from all social media and think about everything I say before I say it because I can be vile when I'm like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow op I wasn’t aware it was you I’m married too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! My periods are incredibly irregular though so very hard to track on my app and I never really know when it's coming. Sometimes I'll randomly feel the weight of the world and cry myself to sleep. Other times it's snapping at my friends and family over nothing. Then I'll get my period one or two days later and be like "ohhhh so that explains it..."

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I tend to condense all of this hormonal behaviour into one day a year where I turn into Mad Mac an absolute schizo terror bitch. I unleash carnage and then I'm alright for another year. Useless response though as I don't know it's coming so I don't know how to manage it. Everyone else senses the red mist and generally leaves me to it thankfully.

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Absolutely...... the week before my period I’m a complete emotional bag of shit!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes! My periods are incredibly irregular though so very hard to track on my app and I never really know when it's coming. Sometimes I'll randomly feel the weight of the world and cry myself to sleep. Other times it's snapping at my friends and family over nothing. Then I'll get my period one or two days later and be like "ohhhh so that explains it..." "

Cry yourself to sleep? Oh that's not good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow op I wasn’t aware it was you I’m married too

that'll go down well.

The more I'm on the planet, the more apparent it seems to me, that females really do struggle with insecurities, bourne from combination of outside influence and hormones (yes I know staying the obvious!).

But honestly, stop assu6mens definition of attractive and sexy. Be kind and smile and that's hooked me straight away. It must be tough on such a rollercoaster but I'm confident you're in the majority?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think I must be lucky I don't suffer from mood swings or pain or anything. A lot of people I know do tho

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I can remember the days Meli. I don’t have it now because I may be menopausal/post menopausal. I do still know when I would have been having a period though. Those feelings that you mention can be overwhelming and all consuming some times. Ride the wave and hopefully those around you will be tolerant. I have found people very tolerant of my cloudy headspace and forgetfulness

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I started taking Evening Primrose and Star Flower oil capsules in January and they seem to be balancing out my mood.

Don't know whether that's the placebo effect or not but hell, it's working for me.

Might be worth a try?

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I'm like this, but just weepy rather than bitchy (I'm bitchy anyway so that goes unnoticed!).

I'll find myself crying at an advert on telly, then a couple of days later I come on and think "I bloody KNEW I wasn't really a whiny cow".

Sorry OP, no advice here just plenty of empathy and sympathy.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I am so like this, and it's got markedly worse over the last 6 months or so. I've found the best thing for me is to remove myself from all social media and think about everything I say before I say it because I can be vile when I'm like that. "

All social media? That could be a shout. Do you go cold turkey on WhatsApp as well or still keep some channels of communications open? Sending hugs Lily, I get how awful it is.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

My pcos means that they are fairly irregular at times, much like yours. I've had the crying myself to sleep thing recently. It's so daft isn't it? The next morning it doesn't seem anywhere as bad but at the time it's just... bleurgh.

My dear friend has learned how to track mine based on my message tone. That's not good (but very sweet).

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

This is probably one part of my period that isn't a horrendous mess (pun not... entirely intended. Sorry). It sucks, doesn't it?

I have it a little bit some periods, and I can't predict when it's coming.

I have my safe people to talk to about my feelings. But I also try to observe my feelings and not get caught up in them. That's hard work and probably is a skill that needs to be developed (I do it in conjunction with my other mental health coping strategies). Also making sure other physical and mental health issues are ok.

I do know medical treatment for menstrual psychological issues is possible, and it's not worth dismissing depending on how much you suffer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dear friend has learned how to track mine based on my message tone. That's not good (but very sweet).

Yes, although sometimes there really is nothing better than a good cry. Especially lately...

I don't really have any advice on how to deal with it though, I'm sorry. I would say meditation or apps like headspace but if you're anything like me those kinds of things piss me off even more when I'm already irritable. Emotions really aren't meant to be bottled up though, I say just let yourself feel it (as long as you're not hurting anyone, that is).

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By *kiolo1Couple
over a year ago

Whitland

"I can remember the days Meli. I don’t have it now because I may be menopausal/post menopausal. I do still know when I would have been having a period though. Those feelings that you mention can be overwhelming and all consuming some times. Ride the wave and hopefully those around you will be tolerant. I have found people very tolerant of my cloudy headspace and forgetfulness

That's interesting because menopause for me has been much more riddled with mood swings than when I was younger. But we're each different.

Meditation has helped with bringing moods into balance, I think.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I used to say to D 'My wave is low' meaning what you describe. Then I had a hysterectomy and I thought it changed me. But It didn't. I'm still the same now minus the periods.

I'm super blessed D has stood by me all these years.

You're a good person Meli

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Sorry I can't actually help.

Jo.Xx

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

" How do you deal with this time? "

Chocolate and wine x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Menopause: I don't know anything about it (discovered this lady talking about Covid-19), but there's an American doctor called Michelle Gordon who has material in the "menopause movement". Apparently to make it a good time in your life. Maybe worth a search?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending love to you lovely, all you can do is be kind

I have a couple days where I go from being a crying mess, not good enough for anyone or anything to wanting to rip apart anyone who looks at me the wrong way.

I just retreat and tell myself that it will pass

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The biggest symptom I usually get these days is pain rather than psychological fluctuations. The Mirena has been a godsend for me

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Meli, I think that there are quite a few ladies who really struggle with mood swings associated with hormonal changes.

I'm very lucky and have rarely had any problems.

Worth having a chat to your GP, as it's clearly something that you are finding difficult.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I tend to condense all of this hormonal behaviour into one day a year where I turn into Mad Mac an absolute schizo terror bitch. I unleash carnage and then I'm alright for another year. Useless response though as I don't know it's coming so I don't know how to manage it. Everyone else senses the red mist and generally leaves me to it thankfully. "

One day a year sounds a bit Purgeish.

It's not a useless response at all, it's nice to know I'm not so alone in this. I have tried reframing it as my emo time but that didn't help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fine now I’m a good HRT. Get moody infrequently now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read this a flactuation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m fine now I’m a good HRT. Get moody infrequently now

On a good HRT, not I am a good HRT

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Wow op I wasn’t aware it was you I’m married too

that'll go down well.

I don't mind a dad joke at all.

It's not an assumption of beauty ideals as such. I think it's just closer to wallowing. I know I'm kinda cute most of the time.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Absolutely...... the week before my period I’m a complete emotional bag of shit!!

I hope it gets better for you soon Lexi, x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I’m quite moody/temperamental anyway (or passionate natured as I like to describe it).

But the week before my period I could actually murder someone. There is just no reasoning with me and I need to be left alone. This has gotten worse since I turned peri menopausal.

It’s probably a good job I’m single. Although angry sex is quite wild.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

Aww Babs, that's because you're adorable even with cloudy headspace. I've got some wonderful tolerant folk around me but I do think that instead of being all

to them, sometimes I should just go for a walk or eat a cake. Not a slice. The whole thing.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

All social media? That could be a shout. Do you go cold turkey on WhatsApp as well or still keep some channels of communications open? Sending hugs Lily, I get how awful it is."

I temporarily block all group chats (I'm not a fan of them anyway, and at that time of the month I just get irritated by inane messages), but I keep chat open to friends (although I generally don't send any first messages but will reply). I just find that being anti-social means I don't needlessly upset anyone or make myself feel worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all know I'm also like this. I cry.... A LOT.

I don't really have a coping mechanism as such, but all I want to do is watch films that make me cry even more. Normally something romantic and then I cry even more more that nobody has ever loved me enough to do those things for me (yes.... made up things in films) and probably never will, and how I'm doomed to live an eternity of self loathing.

Then I get a cry headache and I cry coz it hurts and coz I can't breathe through my nose. Then I get angry at myself for crying and wasting loo roll on nose blowing, and I cry about it.

Eventually I'll go to fucking sleep and tomorrow is a new day. Rage normally follows the cry day. I'm angry at not everything, but stuff I am passionate about and other people aren't. I get mad that people don't stand up for themselves or get bullied and I want to inject people with truth serum and a big ole set of cahoonas.

Day 3 I'm coming back round to normality and wonder who the fucking wimpo was that took over my emotions on day 1.

Day 4 I have a "thank fuck that's over" wash on me and laugh at what a twat I've been

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of the month I'm relatively sane. Quite calm. Not the jealous sort. Bit too talkative but you know... normal.

What I'm asking basically - are any other women like this? How do you deal with this time? "

I could have written this myself

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I think we all go through this. I find it’s getting longer each month and it’s not when I’d expect it to be.

My mood can drop like a stone, feel empty but can’t put my finger on why and then the smallest thing that wouldn’t normally bother me, tips me over the edge and get tearful.

The only way to deal with it right now is to seal myself of from everyone, until I’ve got my head straight and it locked away in its box. If I could get out, I would head to the pub and just talk nonsense with my ‘brothers’ who always manage to change my mood

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

There ought to be a profile emoji you can add and delete as appropriate for this

Thankfully Mirena is my best friend

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

[Removed by poster at 24/04/20 19:54:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww Meli, you’re adorable throughout the month. Those who know you are more than happy to deal with your mood swings as we have them too. It doesn’t matter if they’re hormonal or emotional, we all go through them and helping each other out is the best way to go...

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Awww Meli, you’re adorable throughout the month. Those who know you are more than happy to deal with your mood swings as we have them too. It doesn’t matter if they’re hormonal or emotional, we all go through them and helping each other out is the best way to go...

Perfectly said Incandescent.

Jo.Xx

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I started taking Evening Primrose and Star Flower oil capsules in January and they seem to be balancing out my mood.

Don't know whether that's the placebo effect or not but hell, it's working for me.

Might be worth a try?"

Yes, I'm going to have a look and try and order some tonight! Thank you for the suggestion, it's appreciated x

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Sorry OP, no advice here just plenty of empathy and sympathy."

Empathy and sympathy is appreciated! Sending it back to you with a hug.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"This is probably one part of my period that isn't a horrendous mess (pun not... entirely intended. Sorry). It sucks, doesn't it?

I have it a little bit some periods, and I can't predict when it's coming.

I do know medical treatment for menstrual psychological issues is possible, and it's not worth dismissing depending on how much you suffer."

I don't think it's something I'm quite severe enough for - loved ones work in that particular field and I'm apparently "not that bad".

Not getting caught up in my feelings is a good shout, thank you Swing. x

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