FabSwingers.com forum: Broken heart

By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Do you ever get over it it or do you just learn to live with it and it gets let's painful?

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

The latter I'd say

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

[Removed by poster at 24/04/20 14:53:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The latter. You move on and it starts to hurt less

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Twice, at the time it was the end of my World no reason to get up and carry on.

Now, just another experience I’ve had and hopefully learned something from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you become a bit of broken pottery put back together. Not brand new.. cracked slightly but still fine to use

and adds to its character

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh you get over it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can but it would probably take a lot of difficult steps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will only make you stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah you get over it..but if you're anything like me..you get bitter and never let anyone near to do it again!

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By *willfindyouWoman
over a year ago

Not looking to meet new peeps.

Time x

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By *oulja_01000Man
over a year ago

North East

Time heals all wounds!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever get over it it or do you just learn to live with it and it gets let's painful?"

Definitely less painful, any loss of the heart is terrible but the head learns to cope. Hope you are Ok OP. X

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By *adDad13Man
over a year ago

Stockport

I think it stays with you forever but you learn from it, grow and carry it with you. You become stronger and wiser because of it. Don't let it define or consume you though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had my heart broken a few times over the years and you do bounce back like...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just learn to live with it and it fades a bit over time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you become a bit of broken pottery put back together. Not brand new.. cracked slightly but still fine to use

and adds to its character "

This ^^... I like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it stays with you forever but you learn from it, grow and carry it with you. You become stronger and wiser because of it. Don't let it define or consume you though. "

Ooh like this too

Definitely this ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone that says it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all has clearly never loved and lost.

A broken heart will heal but it will leave a scar it's how you chose to move on and cope that will define you and the rest of your life. Do you sit and mope about it or donyou get up dust yourself down and say right its time to live and be happy and positive and take every opportunity. That's what I did but my scare will never heal it will only fade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it stays with you forever but you learn from it, grow and carry it with you. You become stronger and wiser because of it. Don't let it define or consume you though. "

This.

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By *ebbie34FWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Yes you do!

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By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

You do get over it but like any experience it does change you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It eases, then it fades and then it every now and again something might make you think about and you realise it's gone. Time heals.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the idea that when something is broken it can still be repaired and still be amazing- like the heart, being broken doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed, just takes time, patience and appreciation that while being repaired it may be a little fragile.

Like the principle of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create something even stronger, more beautiful. This is the essence of resilience. Each of us should look for a way to cope with traumatic events in a positive way, learn from negative experiences, take the best from them and convince ourselves that exactly these experiences make each person unique, precious x Viv x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you all think that you become a bit more guarded afterwards?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you all think that you become a bit more guarded afterwards?..."
oh got sure

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

I am definitely more guarded, 3 years on he still comes into my mind, I even dreamt about him 2 nights ago... But it hurts less now, and I can smile and laugh and have fun...

I would love to have that love again, but I'm not sure I'm brave enough to let someone that close...it does get better OP it just takes time xx

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Depends. If you are talking about relationships then yes i just move on but i am still broken hearted at losing my dad and best friend when they were both far too young to die.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends. If you are talking about relationships then yes i just move on but i am still broken hearted at losing my dad and best friend when they were both far too young to die."

Yeh that is different. I was heart broken about losing my grandparents for twenty years x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah you get over it..but if you're anything like me..you get bitter and never let anyone near to do it again! "

Same as. I've had 5 broken hearts over the years, and now I keep everybody at arms length. Each heartbreak's pain always went away, but each added to the scar of the last, and here I am today, perpetually single.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

It takes time .... and time as a habit of changing things nothing stays the same ... u will get over it and move on

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Yeah you get over it..but if you're anything like me..you get bitter and never let anyone near to do it again!

But dont let the past map out your future

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Happened to me once. Looking back i'm surprised on how hard it hit me and how long it took to stop hurting just thinking about it.

Certainly strengthened me in the long run and allowed me to grow as a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That feeling of loss and grief is there, but once you let go and and explore new possibilities and commit to something new the intensity reduces. I still get pangs for a lost teenage love.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"Do you ever get over it it or do you just learn to live with it and it gets let's painful?

Definitely less painful, any loss of the heart is terrible but the head learns to cope. Hope you are Ok OP. X"

Thank you.

Been 4 months ..someday s I think I'm getting there..somedays I'd rip off my arm to be with her again

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Like most said times heals and you get over it. It also teaches you lessons and makes you stronger tho.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"Anyone that says it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all has clearly never loved and lost.

This..I think.

Thank you for all the replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone else comes along and replaces them. You soon forget all about them

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me."

I agree with everything you've just said, however bereavement cuts deeper hurts harder and stays with you forever. Stay strong x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get over it and end up thinking “What the fuck did I ever see in them?”

Or maybe that’s just me

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I lost my partner 4 years ago and I will never get over it ... the sound scabs over but at times can break wide open again .... the most excruciating pain I have ever endured .... sometimes I think it was all a dream it seems so unreal

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me.

I agree with everything you've just said, however bereavement cuts deeper hurts harder and stays with you forever. Stay strong x"

I think it's all on the same spectrum. I can live with my grief, the feelings have become more manageable over time. I think loss of a relationship has grief tied up within it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my own case you learn to live with it, just gets easier as the time passes

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Wound scabs over !!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I lost my partner 4 years ago and I will never get over it ... the sound scabs over but at times can break wide open again .... the most excruciating pain I have ever endured .... sometimes I think it was all a dream it seems so unreal

Big hugs x

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Big hugs x"

Thank you xx

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Hurts like fuck, eventually the pain gets less. Takes time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, you get over it. It's the routines you miss, the 'we used to...'

Focus on yourself and what you want/need.

You feel like it's never getting better but it does and one day you wake up and ask yourself why you thought they were good enough for you in the first place.

Best is when you get to the point where you look at them and shudder thinking ...what did I see in them.

It's an addiction, chemical reaction, once you're past crisis point it's all gravy from there on in. Just dont let it happen again

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me.

I agree with everything you've just said, however bereavement cuts deeper hurts harder and stays with you forever. Stay strong x"

I think a rship breakdown is similiar to a bereavement.

Not as serious obviously but the grief etc is still there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you.

Been 4 months ..someday s I think I'm getting there..somedays I'd rip off my arm to be with her again "

4 months is not long at all really.

I am 15 months on and it’s only really been the last 3/4 months that I’ve truly made peace with what happened. Before that I was very much up and down but I realised that what I actually missed wasn’t true anyway. It’s easy to focus on only the good times when we are trying to get over the breakdown of a relationship, but there is usually a very good reason it has broken down in the first place.

I’m not sure I’ll ever trust someone with my heart again, but that’s fine..I’m quite happy being single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me.

I agree with everything you've just said, however bereavement cuts deeper hurts harder and stays with you forever. Stay strong x

I think a rship breakdown is similiar to a bereavement.

Not as serious obviously but the grief etc is still there"

Any loss is difficult, I just think a relationship breakdown doesn't cut as deep because usually unanswered questions eventually get answered, whereas bereavement theres always going to be more questions, plus if you split with someone then one or both of you have made a choice which is always easier to accept than having someone taken from you (even if you knew it was inevitable)

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

It’s been just over a year and I am starting to think less about her as when I made contact via another medium about 6 months ago it was made clear to me that I don’t want to speak to you on any medium.Now it has bee made crystal clear to me I shan’t contact her again but I hope one day she contacts me again.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Thank you.

Been 4 months ..someday s I think I'm getting there..somedays I'd rip off my arm to be with her again

4 months is not long at all really.

I’m not sure I’ll ever trust someone with my heart again, but that’s fine..I’m quite happy being single

Thats sad you feel that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No doubt it's the latter.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"I think any strong emotion has the possibility of changing you, and there's something particularly potent about matters of the heart and grief.

It's a question of recognising what's happening and appropriately managing it. Or figuring it out.

That's how you grow and your scars become strengths, rather than just eating at you. Although in many instances the pain never goes entirely.

It'll be ten years this year since my girlfriend died, and I carry her with me.

I agree with everything you've just said, however bereavement cuts deeper hurts harder and stays with you forever. Stay strong x

I think a rship breakdown is similiar to a bereavement.

Not as serious obviously but the grief etc is still there

Its seems crass to compare them but I think the stages you go through are very similar.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

No such thing as a broken heart .. it's exactly as it should be when you experience a loss. Tender, vulnerable .. feeling allsorts.

None of it is wrong or broken..just perfectly human.

You will move on and grow. You will gain perspective and learn lots when you choose to let go.

Ouch though xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see a broken heart more like a heart that grows scar tissue after it's been hurt, it stops your heart being able to be flexible in how and who you love again in the future. The more times it's broken the more the scar tissue covers it making it harder and harder to love in the future.

You never really get over it but you learn to cope with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you.

Been 4 months ..someday s I think I'm getting there..somedays I'd rip off my arm to be with her again

4 months is not long at all really.

I’m not sure I’ll ever trust someone with my heart again, but that’s fine..I’m quite happy being single

Thats sad you feel that way

It’s only sad to other people, I’m mostly happier than I ever have been.

Maybe someone someday will change my outlook but I’m certainly not actively looking for that.

I also don’t think grief and heartbreak at the breakdown of a relationship can be compared.

Though the stages are similar, the pain isn’t imo.

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

It’s gonna take a while to get in touch with them all and ask but I’m not busy, I suppose.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think you get over it in time, I certainly have.

I can't deny that it has changed me, but I think I've been successful in not letting it make me stone hearted and unable to love again.

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Time.... you get over it but hopefully learn from it.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

"It’s been just over a year and I am starting to think less about her as when I made contact via another medium about 6 months ago it was made clear to me that I don’t want to speak to you on any medium.Now it has bee made crystal clear to me I shan’t contact her again but I hope one day she contacts me again."

Its the hope that kills you.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Its the hope that kills you."
. Deep down inside I know she won’t call but it’s her choice and I respect her decision

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This place is full of those unfortunate enough to experience just that, myself included.

For me,in the end it's just a choice to carry on and make a conscious choice to live and be happy. You dont realise how many years you can waste in this very short life if you dont do just that.

Everyone can find some form of happiness if they choose to.

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By *ionelhutz OP Man
over a year ago

liverpool

They say you only really get over someone when you meet someone who makes you stop thinking about them.

But sometimes you meet someone who makes you miss them more

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