FabSwingers.com forum: Did you hear about the dyslexic

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

bank robber?

He went into a bank and shouted "put the air in your hands you mother stickers, this is a fuck up"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Jaaaaaaack!!!!

didnt you know you are not allowed to make jokes t the expense of others on here???

did titter a bit though

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

what's a rank bobber ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"what's a rank bobber ?"

lol, that's fanny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a joke for you you might like Jack.

Bloke "I'm never going to work for that man again"

Mate "Why, what did he say to you?"

Bloke "You're fired"

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Dyslexia cost me my job in IT.

Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and the there were the Dyslexic devil worshipers who sold there soles to Santa

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

DNA

national dyslexic association

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what's a rank bobber ?"
lol sure is gran xx

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

I've had it with those dyslexic dwarves - they're not big and they're not clever...

(where's the 'groan' smiley when you need it?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

first realised that was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat

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By *ady n the trampCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

and the dyslexic biker gang called santas slaves

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I'm sick of these people who keep posting jokes about dyslexia.

It's not big and it's not fanny

I can't remember whether I've got dyslexia or dyscalculia, it's definitely won of the three

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sick of these people who keep posting jokes about dyslexia.

It's not big and it's not fanny

I can't remember whether I've got dyslexia or dyscalculia, it's definitely won of the three

lmao

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Scientists in Chernobyl have been testing the theory that radioactivity can cause dyslexia. One scientist today stated that "At this stage the results are still nuclear."

Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia.......Hoowever, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse

Anyone else having difficulty logging onto dyslexia.moc??????

I've just bought a new book called "Dyslexia for Begonias"

Sickipedia is my friend

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I'm not going to post jokes about people who suffer with Dyslexia any more.......You should see the messages I get!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not going to post jokes about people who suffer with Dyslexia any more.......You should see the messages I get!

That made me chuckup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not going to post jokes about people who suffer with Dyslexia any more.......You should see the messages I get!

That made me chuckup.

very funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not going to post jokes about people who suffer with Dyslexia any more.......You should see the messages I get!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"bank robber?

He went into a bank and shouted "put the air in your hands you mother stickers, this is a fuck up"

I have dislexia but I just choked on my drink laughing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A library walks into a man and dyslexia for a book on asks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust you heard of the dyslexic bulimic, who had to have a Vimto after every meal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eye have a spelling chequer,

It came with my Pea Sea.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am write oar wrong

It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your shore real glad two no.

Its vary polished in its weigh.

My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless thing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right all stiles of righting,

And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The chequer pours o'er every word

Two cheque sum spelling rule.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I'm never going to a World Record Winking Attempt run by the Dyslexia Association again

It's a shame i have dyslexia.. to cheer myself up i'm going to watch a film.

... just kick back and relax with a bucket of cockporn

The Dyslexia Association are on the march to Downing Street. I've just read their placards and I'm right behind them. Yes indeed. Down with those budgie cunts! Down with them I say! I've never liked the little blue fuckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The insomniac dyslexic agnostic who lay awake wondering if Dog existed...

*Gets coat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to a World Record Winking Attempt run by the Dyslexia Association again

It's a shame i have dyslexia.. to cheer myself up i'm going to watch a film.

... just kick back and relax with a bucket of cockporn

That made me giggle

Reminds me of a typing error I made when using a dodgy keyboard filling out an official document ref someone's account. It should have read "this members account...." we'll, the 'a' one of the 'c's and the 'o' was missing

I hit send before checking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old McDonald was dyslexic, OIEOI

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never going to a World Record Winking Attempt run by the Dyslexia Association again

It's a shame i have dyslexia.. to cheer myself up i'm going to watch a film.

... just kick back and relax with a bucket of cockporn

That made me giggle

I hit send before checking

If ya lookin fa dodgy keyboards... Wishy has a Bigger one...

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Tried to buy a diary on E-Bay. Damn my dyslexia! Now what am i supposed to do with all these fucking cows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Dyslexia Association are on the march to Downing Street. I've just read their placards and I'm right behind them. Yes indeed. Down with those budgie cunts! Down with them I say! I've never liked the little blue fuckers"

Which reminds me of the Tourette's Association who marched on Downing Street chanting the mantra:

What do we want? Equality!

When do we want it? Fuck off!

"If ya lookin fa dodgy keyboards... Wishy has a Bigger one...

Oh don't start that again, I'm still flushing from the other day!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Which reminds me of the Tourette's Association who marched on Downing Street chanting the mantra:

What do we want? Equality!

When do we want it? Fuck off!

If ya lookin fa dodgy keyboards... Wishy has a Bigger one...

Oh don't start that again, I'm still flushing from the other day!

Oh Wishy, we could be for the high jump now, Tourettes and Dyslexia

Let's get the parking slot gang involved too

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/05/12 17:30:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which reminds me of the Tourette's Association who marched on Downing Street chanting the mantra:

What do we want? Equality!

When do we want it? Fuck off!

If ya lookin fa dodgy keyboards... Wishy has a Bigger one...

Oh don't start that again, I'm still flushing from the other day!

Oh Wishy, we could be for the high jump now, Tourettes and Dyslexia

Let's get the parking slot gang involved too

I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"

Another one for the bistory hooks

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

"Eye have a spelling chequer,

It came with my Pea Sea.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss Steaks I can knot sea.

Eye strike the quays and type a whirred

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am write oar wrong

It tells me straight a weigh.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your shore real glad two no.

Its vary polished in its weigh.

My chequer tolled me sew.

A chequer is a bless thing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right all stiles of righting,

And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The chequer pours o'er every word

Two cheque sum spelling rule."

As a trained Proofreader, a variation of this verse without the deliberate spelling errors, is a selling tool of mine.

People are amazed that when entered into a Spell Checker, it accepts all but two lines!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now fuck off you cunt!"

Now that's one I'm going to remember and use. The one slight drawback I see with it is if I use it in London where most of the wardens are Nigerian and won't have a fookin scooby what I'm talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dyslexic man & wife, couldn't do sex, they were trying to do a 'ninety six'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dyslexic man & wife, couldn't do sex, they were trying to do a 'ninety six'.

Chinese man comes home late one night and asks his wife for a 69. She replied, "Yoo fook off misser, me no cook this late!"

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

these are all very clever and have made me giggle but i am bored and got to thinking

why has no one jumped on this thread lik they did on the one that made fun of tourettes? infact wishy has even posted the same joke and no one said a thing!!!

double standards are rife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dyslexic man & wife, couldn't do sex, they were trying to do a 'ninety six'.

Chinese man comes home late one night and asks his wife for a 69. She replied, "Yoo fook off misser, me no cook this late!""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"these are all very clever and have made me giggle but i am bored and got to thinking

why has no one jumped on this thread lik they did on the one that made fun of tourettes? infact wishy has even posted the same joke and no one said a thing!!!

double standards are rife

Here's another one...

If you are dyslexic and can't laugh at yourself ...you should get a file

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stop, not nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"these are all very clever and have made me giggle but i am bored and got to thinking

why has no one jumped on this thread lik they did on the one that made fun of tourettes? infact wishy has even posted the same joke and no one said a thing!!!

double standards are rife

You can't take the piss out of people with incontinence either, but you can take the piss out of people with colostomy bags.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"these are all very clever and have made me giggle but i am bored and got to thinking

why has no one jumped on this thread lik they did on the one that made fun of tourettes? infact wishy has even posted the same joke and no one said a thing!!!

double standards are rife

You can't take the piss out of people with incontinence either, but you can take the piss out of people with colostomy bags."

that one was just bad!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no accounting for bad taste.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"bank robber?

He went into a bank and shouted "put the air in your hands you mother stickers, this is a fuck up"

punch line is funny but could just as easily and much less offensively been couched as a "d*unken/confuddled robber," etc etc

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"bank robber?

He went into a bank and shouted "put the air in your hands you mother stickers, this is a fuck up"

punch line is funny but could just as easily and much less offensively been couched as a "d*unken/confuddled robber," etc etc"

And next, all jokes passed by the PC brigade.....

There's a man, a man and a man all talking about their teenage daughters. The man says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smoked."

The man says, "that's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank."

With that the man says, "both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We seem to be divided into two camps, those that think any joke about anyone is, can, or might be offensive to someone, and those who like lager.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

and those that are bored so threw the 'offended' card in hehehe

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.

The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.

The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.

Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

our farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl. The first man said, "I think it's WOOMB."

The second replied, "No, it must be WOOOOMBH."

The third said, "You both have it wrong -- it's WOOM."

The fourth stated, "No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB."

At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, "Look. It's WOMB. That's it, that's all there is to it." Then she left.

Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, "Well. I don't know. A young girl like that. I don't see how she could know. I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw Granny, you've PC'd the joke! The version I heard was four African farmers.

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