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Wipe yer bum!

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

I wonder if men like that masturbate... Or is that gay too

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

That poor woman cleaning skid marks from her bedsheets and the guy thought it was gay.

I read a rimming horror story too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

"

PLEASE tell me you're joking...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wipe till clean surely

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

PLEASE tell me you're joking..."

I'm afraid not

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

Whattttttttt. I’m going to sit in the shoe cupboard....

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

I use the toilet brush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "

3 seashells

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Three Seashells for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

Horrifying..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

Whattttttttt. I’m going to sit in the shoe cupboard.... "

There's a Simpsons quote for everything.

"There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality"

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

Whattttttttt. I’m going to sit in the shoe cupboard....

There's a Simpsons quote for everything.

"There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality""

Love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stand on the toilet sit lid.

shit. roll it up in paper and leave it for someone else to flush.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh, as to the OP, I'm going to pretend I'm a lady. If a lady never farts, then a lady certainly never defecates, therefore the question has no answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don’t know how it’s done.

I’ll ask my butler when he returns from the lager celler with my drinks.

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating "

I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Moist wipes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the correct way is to spread the cheeks and wipe from Gooch up (front to back).

In the shower you just karate chop the crack to avoid getting shit under your fingernails, everybody knows that

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Allow to harden naturally then pick it off

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

This was surveyed on 100 humans. The bit that made me go was just how much loo roll they all used.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

I read that and I was horrified at how many there were!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating "

And what did you do with it? Leave it for someone’s dog to find?

I’ve been that dog owner, it’s unmistakeable and frankly absolutely rank.

I go for hikes regularly, I’ve never needed to shit so badly that it couldn’t wait for a toilet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always sit down even if going for a pee. Wipe front to back.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "

Cant beat a good pressure washer.

A

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling"

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use a karcher.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?! "

Find secluded spot in woods

Dig and bury

If it was dug up it smells of Roses anyway

I was walking near becon hill other day

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Can’t believe this thread!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I read that and I was horrified at how many there were!"

I stumbled across details and it was one of those "that's quite enough internet for awhile" days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story ."

WHAT?!!!!!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .

WHAT?!!!!! "

Do you want me to PM you a link? (I don't think it's allowed to be posted in the forum).

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"This was surveyed on 100 humans. The bit that made me go was just how much loo roll they all used. "

One to wipe and one to polish. What's the problem?

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

You know it's a good day when you look down and the dreadnought has disappeared of it's own accord, you then wipe and immediately draw an ace.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story ."

I think we have the same source

That one was more less at least

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?!

Find secluded spot in woods

Dig and bury

If it was dug up it smells of Roses anyway

I was walking near becon hill other day

"

A deep hole, I hope!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't use toilet paper anymore

I shower with my fanwah and arse over the bath.

Much cleaner.

Toilet rolls aren't a problem any more.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

P.S. I didn't read the thread in case I barfed ?

Were some people rude n revealing ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating "

You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely the correct way is to spread the cheeks and wipe from Gooch up (front to back).

In the shower you just karate chop the crack to avoid getting shit under your fingernails, everybody knows that "

Gooch?

But yes, away from the vagina. You don't want intestinal good bacteria to get into fanny, as there they'll be bad, very very bad.

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By *ovestrapMan
over a year ago

London


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I wonder if men like that masturbate... Or is that gay too "

Now that's a burn.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated. "

( I have been for over 20 years xxxx )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

You can still sit, but raise your feet on a small stool so that your knees are less than 90 degrees - it helps those who are constipated.

( I have been for over 20 years xxxx )"

20 year old constipation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know someone who stands on top of the toilet seat.

He did it once in a public toilets and smashed it in pieces, but it hasn't stopped him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

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By *ip2Man
over a year ago

Near Maidenhead

When all the shops had no toilet paper, I tried the Indian-style left hand with a jug squatting in the bath.

Now using far less toilet paper.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I guess if it came to it and we had no toilet paper I'd resort to a nappy pan arrangement with a hot hot wash. But it doesn't particularly bear thinking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a hose attached to the toilet, wash and dry. Wiping isn't cleaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .

WHAT?!!!!!

Do you want me to PM you a link? (I don't think it's allowed to be posted in the forum)."

*I am scared though*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3x3 sheets of toilet roll folded 3 times plus 2x2 sheets of toilet roll folded twice which are flushed, plus 2 baby wipes used individually and tied in a nappy sack. My bum may have the odd spot but is actually spotless.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow


"Wipe till clean surely "

For at least twenty seconds ?

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By *rHornyGentMan
over a year ago

South East London


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "

Personally I’m a bidet kinda guy. Makes absolutely certain you don’t leave anything on those hard to reach hairs

On the odd occasion of low water pressure or no bidet, I’m always grateful for the backup shower hose with quick release heads. I have 3, one for each head and the third for bum cleaning duties or diy bidet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I stand on the toilet sit lid.

shit. roll it up in paper and leave it for someone else to flush."

There one of you in every office block!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why am I reading this thread? It's making me feel sick ??

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Umm it’s called toilet paper

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

How did this go from sitting/standing to some people going on like others don’t use toilet paper??!!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"How did this go from sitting/standing to some people going on like others don’t use toilet paper??!! "

You expect a thread to go normally on Fab? Are you new? Bless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it

I'm struggling to find words to express how I feel about this information

Really struggling

Honestly it was such a traumatizing read. There was a guy who didn't think men used toilet seats. While strange that was probably the least gross story .

WHAT?!!!!! "

Never have I wanted to laugh, cry, cringe and be sick at a thread more

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I couldn’t read the whole thread, the images being created in my head

To answer the OP question, natural to sit and swipe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Allow to harden naturally then pick it off "

Klingons??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Wipe till clean surely

For at least twenty seconds ? "

Skinless Ring ?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation....

Seriously this has saved me the thread starting effort

So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating

I live near you! So...did you bag it and take it home...or is it still there for some lucky person’s dog to roll in?! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to Japan last year, best toilets ever. Heated seats, cleaning with variable water pressure and some play sounds or music. My bottom positively sparkled.

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By *ike1469Man
over a year ago

torquay

I wash mine in the shower every time I shit...dont use bog paper at all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am I the only one that uses a Karcher pressure washer ( other brands of pressure washer are acceptable)

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Wipe before standing up then wipe again to be 100% sure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finger for the lumpy bits, tongue for the detail work, sasha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember reading a horror story years ago in one of my mums gossip magazines. This poor woman was writing in because her husband refused to wipe his arse, there would be "poo crumbs" (her words) in the bed and when she complained he said no man wipes their arse that's why they wear undies and said it was her job to change the bedding and clean his shitty undies I was about 13 when I read that and the grossness has always stuck with me haha

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I remember reading a horror story years ago in one of my mums gossip magazines. This poor woman was writing in because her husband refused to wipe his arse, there would be "poo crumbs" (her words) in the bed and when she complained he said no man wipes their arse that's why they wear undies and said it was her job to change the bedding and clean his shitty undies I was about 13 when I read that and the grossness has always stuck with me haha"

I hope HE doesn’t turn up at quest

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching "

Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

this thread is WILD.

I'm not sure if some of you are joking or what.

But I'm laughing all the same.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York


"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching

Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers. "

There is a certain satisfaction in those, but also a worry that your undercrackers now resemble the Turin shroud

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Couple of up and downs with paper to get the thick of it off, then a good ol' dig around with those Andrex wet wipes to polish and make the tea towel holder spic and span. Nothing worse than going out for some exercise after a poo and your ricker starts itching

Yes put what about when you do one of them farts that scratches your bum hole for you. Lifesavers.

There is a certain satisfaction in those, but also a worry that your undercrackers now resemble the Turin shroud "

Like when a kid makes a butterfly at nursery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I hope HE doesn’t turn up at quest "

You'll have to do an undie check

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

PLEASE tell me you're joking...

I'm afraid not "

Crikey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soap and, water

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.

I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember girls front to back

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.

I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention "

was everyone paying attention though PK?

D.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t be the only one who uses a wet wipes after to ensure everything is squeaky clean down there?!

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.

I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention "

So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too?

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.

I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention

So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too? "

D.

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By *oss and SuzieCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

Believe it or not, when I was at school you had to go to the office and request toilet paper, because they'd had rolls thrown in the toilet. (The old 'Izal', so hard it could set your bum on fire if you wiped too briskly).

I remember that the schoolboy joke was that you got 4 sheets... 'One up, one down, one up and down, and a final polish'.

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Believe it or not, when I was at school you had to go to the office and request toilet paper, because they'd had rolls thrown in the toilet. (The old 'Izal', so hard it could set your bum on fire if you wiped too briskly).

I remember that the schoolboy joke was that you got 4 sheets... 'One up, one down, one up and down, and a final polish'."

Cut your little bum did that stuff didn’t it. How on earth was that cheaper than paper?

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth


"I flew Air India (once) and after take off, they actually ran a tutorial over the TV screens on how to use the toilet. I specifically remember the image of someone squatting on top of the lid, then showing a close up of the cartoon turd and a red cross appearing through it.

I was checking around the plane to make sure everyone was paying attention

So you weren’t allowed a poo on a 12 he flight. Please tell me it wasn’t curry for the in-flight meal too?

D."

Of course they served curry - every meal, even breakfast. The whole plane was thick with the smell of spices. I was dreading needing to pay a visit. I didn't want to be the one to follow the person who hadn't paid attention and actually left me a present atop the lid. I recall eyeballing the person in front of me in the queue, desperate for some acknowledgement of civilised signs of life.

Some holiday experiences never leave you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've read enough horror stories of men that refuse to wipe because "it's gay to touch yourself there".

So as long as you're doing it "

As if

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner


"So I'm an outdoorsy kind of guy , and just been out for my daily hike

And I have to say lush grass folded is soo much better than paper

Also the squat not sit puts the colon in the correct alignment for a very satisfying clean and effective experience

Most liberating "

Please tell me you don’t surface lay!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wiping your bum?

Not the thing to read when you’re eating Nutella!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I like to drop into my local car wash in a soft top, then drop my keks and point my starfish at the skies just as the big overhead roller gets up a good head of steam

Brings a tear to the eye but it adds a gleam that just can't be matched no matter how much Andrex you use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats why i dont use facebook. Surely there must be better things to chat about.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

l don’t have a dirty bum I’m afraid so I wouldn’t be in a position to say but I do like to shove a hose pipe up it if the weathers right

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By *oss and SuzieCouple
over a year ago

Porthmadog

Suzie had a piss in the garden yesterday then stood over pur oscillating sprinkler to get a good wash. Worked well, sort of outdoor bidet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Literally just read a Facebook thread where people were discussing the pros and cons of ways to wipe.

Some are sitters. Some are standers. There was some foreign contenders that used a hand and a jug and then there’s the upper class elite that use a bidet.

Come clean (no pun intended). What’s your mode of operation.... "

jetwash only way

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