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Flawed sayings.....

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By *bi Haive OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If every cloud has a silver lining....why aren't we mining them and given how much it rains in the UK why is silver valuable at all?

If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.....what if the two in the bush are multilingual talking parrots and the one in your hand is a pidgeon?

If he who laughs last, laughs longest.....why the fuck did it take him so long to get the joke?

A

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Believe you me!!! What does that even mean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent points!

How about "Love at first sight"

Why only one type of love in the arena of sight? Is it because it cannot compete with lust which has many forms of self expression?

Even to the point of blindness?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I don’t see you through the week I’ll see you through the window.

Why? Are you going to be stalking me and staring at me whilst I’m in my house?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Excellent points!

How about "Love at first sight"

Why only one type of love in the arena of sight? Is it because it cannot compete with lust which has many forms of self expression?

Even to the point of blindness?

"
....Please don't tell me that, "Love is blind"!

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

To a bratty child: If you dont stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What kind of bollocks is this? I had a car crash a few years ago, one knee still sore and I can no longer play sport properly. Stronger, my arse!

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By *bi Haive OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"if I don’t see you through the week I’ll see you through the window.

Why? Are you going to be stalking me and staring at me whilst I’m in my house?"

Ooh - good one.

It's also contradictory.

How about 'if at first you don't succeed ..try again'.

Not much use if you're attempting to jump a wide gorge on a unicycle.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good things come to those who wait"!

Well I learnt THAT was a sack of sh*t!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if I don’t see you through the week I’ll see you through the window.

Why? Are you going to be stalking me and staring at me whilst I’m in my house?

Ooh - good one.

It's also contradictory.

How about 'if at first you don't succeed ..try again'.

Not much use if you're attempting to jump a wide gorge on a unicycle.

A"

Another one my grandmother used to say all the time, “a nod is as good as a wink to a blind bat”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The grass is always greener on the other side.

On the other side of what???

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks


"Excellent points!

How about "Love at first sight"

Why only one type of love in the arena of sight? Is it because it cannot compete with lust which has many forms of self expression?

Even to the point of blindness?

....Please don't tell me that, "Love is blind"!"

Yeah but his bird said its amazing though,

so all thats left,

is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf ~ Arctic Monkeys Fake Tales of San Francisco

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

“Well, that went down like a lead ballon”

What..?? A lead balloon would go down really really well....

I’ve never got that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The grass is always greener on the other side.

On the other side of what???

"
On the other side of that thick prickly hedge no doubt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/04/20 11:51:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The grass is always greener on the other side.

On the other side of what???

"

That's because its fertilised with bullshit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ignorance is bliss- why aren't more people happy?

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By *ikeC2012Man
over a year ago

Peterborough

Remember when the doctor would say "it's just a virus, you'll soon be over it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will stay like that!!

NO IT FUCKING WONT THE WIND ISNT THAT FECKING STRONG!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Glaswegian one from my mother when I misbehaved as a kid;

“I’ll take my hand off of your face”

It was the putting the hand on at high speed I didn’t fancy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything went tits up.

I always thought ladies like their tits to stay up, so why is this considered a bad thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I slept like a baby"

I'm not sure how screaming, crying and pooping is meant to constitute a sound sleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Sounds like a goose farting in the fog”

1. I’ve never heard a goose fart, so don’t know what that sounds like

2. How does fog change the sound of something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dead men don't tell tales"

Charles Dickens does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Dead men don't tell tales"

Charles Dickens does!"
Try this next time your tied to a chair by gangsters and about to lose your life.

But if one says,

"You ain't Charles Dickens".

Then your Fuc*ed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Dead men don't tell tales"

Charles Dickens does!Try this next time your tied to a chair by gangsters and about to lose your life.

But if one says,

"You ain't Charles Dickens".

Then your Fuc*ed!"

One plus to this is that Charles Dickens would probably prove to be better company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very commonly used one here in Ireland has always been:-

'Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireann na daoine' ( 'People live in eachother's shadow')....strangly I haven't heard anybody say this in weeks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That face rings a bell, whose face has ever rung a bell?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That face rings a bell, whose face has ever rung a bell? "

Quasimodo’s?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What kind of bollocks is this? I had a car crash a few years ago, one knee still sore and I can no longer play sport properly. Stronger, my arse! "

Ok, if someone catches Corona virus and survives they have developed immunity to it. So in that context it works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I slept like a baby"

I'm not sure how screaming, crying and pooping is meant to constitute a sound sleep "

Smooth as a babies bum.

Have these people never seen inside a nappy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That face rings a bell, whose face has ever rung a bell?

Quasimodo’s?"

I'm sure he had the hump if he did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What kind of bollocks is this? I had a car crash a few years ago, one knee still sore and I can no longer play sport properly. Stronger, my arse!

Ok, if someone catches Corona virus and survives they have developed immunity to it. So in that context it works. "

Yeh, but we ain't had no one have the balls to say their immune yet!

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By *esireXposedMan
over a year ago

East sussex

In my honest opinion!

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Don't put all your eggs in one basket...well there are no eggs and I have no basket...so fcuk off with your daft sayings ,nan

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

It’s black over Bill’s Mother’s.

Bill is an uncommon name now so there may not be a Bill in that direction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If every cloud has a silver lining....why aren't we mining them and given how much it rains in the UK why is silver valuable at all?

If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.....what if the two in the bush are multilingual talking parrots and the one in your hand is a pidgeon?

If he who laughs last, laughs longest.....why the fuck did it take him so long to get the joke?

A"
It's an idiom.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

[Removed by poster at 20/04/20 14:40:17]

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"It’s black over Bill’s Mother’s.

Bill is an uncommon name now so there may not be a Bill in that direction. "

And his mother may have sadly passed away or run off with the Amazon delivery driver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s black over Bill’s Mother’s.

Bill is an uncommon name now so there may not be a Bill in that direction. "

I've been told this is a Brummie saying. Bill is William Shakespeare and Stratford-on-Avon is to the South East, from where bad rainstorms come. It's a weather warning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should have gone before we left/at break time.

Remember being a kid and being told when to pee! Like our bladders have fackin watches!!!!

S

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By *ittlemissroseWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Age is just a number..... is it?

So does that mean dress size is just a number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Age is just a number' is a justification.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what are the chances of that" after something just happens..... pretty fucking good I'm guessing

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

When cows lie down there's a thunderstorm coming. Feck off, I've seen some of them stood under trees with sheep as well

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


""what are the chances of that" after something just happens..... pretty fucking good I'm guessing "

Are you quoting that comical genius Harry Hill

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By *bi Haive OP   Man
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Bad things come in threes.

What if you get trampled to death by six elephants?

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's never too late

load a shite

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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

The grass is always greener.

Thats because I let the cat shit on your lawn

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