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Feelings/Emotions

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you do when you've been seeing someone for a length of time, the conversation and banter is great and the sex is amazing, then the feelings get involved???

You can't be with that person (for whatever reason) but you cant be without them either...

What do you do to cope, get through it???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try to focus your attention somewhere else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you do when you've been seeing someone for a length of time, the conversation and banter is great and the sex is amazing, then the feelings get involved???

You can't be with that person (for whatever reason) but you cant be without them either...

What do you do to cope, get through it???"

What's stopping you just continuing seeing the person and enjoying the feelings you're experiencing?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Talk to them about it. Find a way to manage. That may mean ending it, but it may also mean the relationship evolves.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's just a hypothetical question I guess so nothing can stop it if they don't want it to stop.

I was thinking more in a swinging sense, so you maybe married/distance or in a situation that may hinder it continuing, but that doesn't necessarily stop the emotions

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"It's just a hypothetical question I guess so nothing can stop it if they don't want it to stop.

I was thinking more in a swinging sense, so you maybe married/distance or in a situation that may hinder it continuing, but that doesn't necessarily stop the emotions"

Putting it as a 'hypothetical' question doesn't help.

There's nothing stopping two people who swing progressing further. It's happened to many. Plenty get married.

Distance is a hurdle that hasn't prevented many couples progressing relationship either.

Even marriages haven't stopped new relationships.

I can't (hypothetically speaking of course!) think of any circumstances that would prevent two people getting together.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still hung up on someone 8 months later so advice would be greatly received

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m using fab to occupy my mind when I’ve nothing else to do and trying to move on.

You’re not alone in the feelings you’re experiencing and time is a great healer.

It’s hard work.

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

Distancing yourself helps...

I’m seeing this lockdown as a detox, hehe we can’t be together... and I think it was me who was getting way too involved really. So this came at a good time. Doesn’t stop me from thinking of him every minute of every day though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm still hung up on someone 8 months later so advice would be greatly received "

This happens, and I've experienced that too. Which is why I've posed the question.

Time is one answer and just meeting new people to fill that void.

I don't know, not got a clue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to therapy to understand how to be happy by yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's just a hypothetical question I guess so nothing can stop it if they don't want it to stop.

I was thinking more in a swinging sense, so you maybe married/distance or in a situation that may hinder it continuing, but that doesn't necessarily stop the emotions

Putting it as a 'hypothetical' question doesn't help.

There's nothing stopping two people who swing progressing further. It's happened to many. Plenty get married.

Distance is a hurdle that hasn't prevented many couples progressing relationship either.

Even marriages haven't stopped new relationships.

I can't (hypothetically speaking of course!) think of any circumstances that would prevent two people getting together.

A"

I completely understand that and agree.

However there are things that prevent people from being together regardless of if they swing, like family/work commitments, distance, religion, race, covid 19 (lol) even politics... but that doesn't mean you stop liking the person... and I was just seeing how people in those situations cope???

Fair point though, cause in an ideal world there is nothing at all...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"It's just a hypothetical question I guess so nothing can stop it if they don't want it to stop.

I was thinking more in a swinging sense, so you maybe married/distance or in a situation that may hinder it continuing, but that doesn't necessarily stop the emotions

Putting it as a 'hypothetical' question doesn't help.

There's nothing stopping two people who swing progressing further. It's happened to many. Plenty get married.

Distance is a hurdle that hasn't prevented many couples progressing relationship either.

Even marriages haven't stopped new relationships.

I can't (hypothetically speaking of course!) think of any circumstances that would prevent two people getting together.

A

I completely understand that and agree.

However there are things that prevent people from being together regardless of if they swing, like family/work commitments, distance, religion, race, covid 19 (lol) even politics... but that doesn't mean you stop liking the person... and I was just seeing how people in those situations cope???

Fair point though, cause in an ideal world there is nothing at all..."

Many of those are temporary though. Or hurdles that can be overcome if you really want to.

If the issue is that only one party wants to progress things or has feelings? Then that's a completely different bucket of frogs......

A

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's just a hypothetical question I guess so nothing can stop it if they don't want it to stop.

I was thinking more in a swinging sense, so you maybe married/distance or in a situation that may hinder it continuing, but that doesn't necessarily stop the emotions

Putting it as a 'hypothetical' question doesn't help.

There's nothing stopping two people who swing progressing further. It's happened to many. Plenty get married.

Distance is a hurdle that hasn't prevented many couples progressing relationship either.

Even marriages haven't stopped new relationships.

I can't (hypothetically speaking of course!) think of any circumstances that would prevent two people getting together.

A

I completely understand that and agree.

However there are things that prevent people from being together regardless of if they swing, like family/work commitments, distance, religion, race, covid 19 (lol) even politics... but that doesn't mean you stop liking the person... and I was just seeing how people in those situations cope???

Fair point though, cause in an ideal world there is nothing at all...

Many of those are temporary though. Or hurdles that can be overcome if you really want to.

If the issue is that only one party wants to progress things or has feelings? Then that's a completely different bucket of frogs......

A"

Again I complete agree with that in an ideal world... However that's an interesting "bucket of frogs"... let's jump in.

That's a tricky one depending on which party you are. I've liked someone more than they liked me, and when I finally realised the fact, I fell back I and tried to just become a good friend instead... was a very hard though cause we had seen each other a few times beforehand but she just wasn't into me like that.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

If i liked someone and there was no way it would work then i’d have to walk away.

I don’t have the type of personality that can just bumble along and “see how things go” because i’m very emotion based, and once i start questioning everything it would lead to misery for me, so i’d walk away.

Self preservation. I don’t like complicated entanglements. It’s all or nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the reason.

If it's distance, you make it work as best you can.

If it's something else for example married and not prepared to leave or they have someone in their life preventing you from being together then you either carry on as and when you can, but be prepared to resent them for not being willing to commit to you or guilt because you know you're possibly gonna be half responsible for turning someones life upside down if the truth came out.

For me, would be to take some solace from knowing I'd done my best, been fair, but done the grown up thing and walked when it became obvious nothing was gonna change because no matter how much they may moan about their life, say they want things to be different but it's difficult, they're stuck, and that they love you, if they ain't ballsy enough to make the move and take responsibility, well, you're worth more than that.

P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If i liked someone and there was no way it would work then i’d have to walk away.

I don’t have the type of personality that can just bumble along and “see how things go” because i’m very emotion based, and once i start questioning everything it would lead to misery for me, so i’d walk away.

Self preservation. I don’t like complicated entanglements. It’s all or nothing.

"

I hear ya

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If i liked someone and there was no way it would work then i’d have to walk away.

I don’t have the type of personality that can just bumble along and “see how things go” because i’m very emotion based, and once i start questioning everything it would lead to misery for me, so i’d walk away.

Self preservation. I don’t like complicated entanglements. It’s all or nothing.

"

I agree with this and think that would be my way of handling things when all is said and done...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Depends on the reason.

If it's distance, you make it work as best you can.

If it's something else for example married and not prepared to leave or they have someone in their life preventing you from being together then you either carry on as and when you can, but be prepared to resent them for not being willing to commit to you or guilt because you know you're possibly gonna be half responsible for turning someones life upside down if the truth came out.

For me, would be to take some solace from knowing I'd done my best, been fair, but done the grown up thing and walked when it became obvious nothing was gonna change because no matter how much they may moan about their life, say they want things to be different but it's difficult, they're stuck, and that they love you, if they ain't ballsy enough to make the move and take responsibility, well, you're worth more than that.

P"

Completely agree with this too, and sometimes these things do happen but like you said if you e tried your best and the situation wont change then doing the grown up thing is the right thing to do

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I think once you both know where the lines are from the start then it's okay. And liking and having feelings for someone as long as they don't cross those lines is fine. If however you feel things are going to get messy then you have to walk away for your own sake and theirs as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta be careful, once you start feeling emotions the whole dynamic changes. I've found it harder losing someone I thought was a friend but that's my own fault, she obv didn't see it the same way so just have to deal with it.

Should be remembered that this last 3 months is def causing emotional highs and lows so try to stay aware of that! This too shall pass.

Friends are important.

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