FabSwingers.com forum: What type of fabber are you

By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Use to be proactive but now can’t be arsed

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By *exy mature ladyWoman
over a year ago

Newport

I wait to be approached..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait to be approached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of both. My last sex meet I approached him. The one before that I was messaged first. Just depends.

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Use to be proactive but now can’t be arsed

"
We know how you feel

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By *ensualflingMan
over a year ago

A laid back fabber..... usually I am breaking the ice! Won’t ever message more than once though if I don’t get a response...... and feel flattered when I am approached! X

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By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I wait to be approached. Never send the first message unless it's when chatting to people in the forum's.

I know I should be more proactive but fear rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep messaging till I get lucky maybe approach

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By *9stanMan
over a year ago

Cheshire West

As a single bloke on here. You need to be proactive, its a sign of appreciation to the lady and kudos to the partner. But very rarely does anything come from it.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If I waited to be approached then fab could be quite a lonely place. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't really matter to be honest ...same result either way..I'd always send a message..very few if any reply...and l've never had a message received first...but like my profile says,not every shoe fits and none of us will lose sleep over it..but it's still a nice joint to hang out in ,the forums are a cool place .

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I’ve been both at times but found the best way that works for me

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple
over a year ago

Lust

Used to be quite proactive, but the time spent on chatting that lead nowhere, a string of cancelled/postponed meetings, plus a couple of no shows. All left us a little jaded, now we’re just hoping our mojo returns as it all seems too much effort at the mo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lazy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends. Mixture of both for me.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I prefer to be approached but have made the effort occasionally

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By *h86Man
over a year ago

Glos

More approached than approaching. Anxiety can be a pain in the ass! Writing a perfectly good coherent message then convincing yourself you sound like a twat and deleting it!

Although in some ways I'd rather do that then hope that 1 out of a thousand spam messages gets a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Proactive on the fora and trying to send more first messages now a good friend has shared her recipe for success

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I tend to wait for an approach. I have messaged one or two myself or sent a cheeky wink.

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By *lues eyesMan
over a year ago

tiverton

At my age I only get males approaching me although some couples do but not often,always wait to be approached as I would feel I was an old perv if I did.

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By *obbychickWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Proactive on the fora and trying to send more first messages now a good friend has shared her recipe for success

Please share to us all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to send messages first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This time round I have lurked in the forums until a profile has jumped out and me. Then I have been proactive with that person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well

I’m the kinda guy that likes to roam around

Where pretty girls are, you know that I’ll be found

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abit of both really, sometimes i get lucky and get a reply

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I'm a have no expectations, enjoy the forums, be happy, love life and if I get lucky i get lucky kind of fabber

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

Neither at the mo.

Just here for the shots and giggles of the forums.

But when we were meeting? Proactive. You'll rarely get what you're looking for waiting for it to come and find you. That's where many go wrong. That and being 'too'proactive and using a copy and paste, scatter gun approach in the hope that sending as many messages as possible will get a single reply.

It's all about balance. And not sitting around twiddling your thumbs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I happily send a first message. May be following a fab or a wink.

Will also message on the back of the forums.

I try to respond to most messages sent to me. Even if only a polite no thanks

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I wink time to time but I do prefer to be approached. Just because I’m looking for couples and there is two people instead of one so it’s better when they show interest, means that I got a green light from both parts

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By *avhonaWoman
over a year ago

Away with the faeries

I'm rarely confident enough to send the first message. I'll send a wink sometimes, but the fear of rejection is usually sitting there in the back of my mind like a stubborn little git.

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By *annyboy379Man
over a year ago

blackheath

Both ive messaged first and had mainly couples approach me first

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

I'm a flirt on the forums but more passive one on one as I never know if the other person is interested or just being friendly.

It's hard to gauge if they might be interested or not if their profile doesn't have tv/ts on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

I'm somewhere in between. I don't send many messages because I'm selective/picky, probably more so than my boat race allows tbh. It doesn't bother me sending the first message it's the follow up that gets me doubting myself because different people like different types of message, general chat or something a bit fruity. I invariably get that wrong. But I'm not mystic meg so not a lot I can do about it really.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've made more friends from using the forums than sending messages.

People seem to be more approachable once you've chatted in the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A little of both. Sometimes I'll just chat in the forums and very occasionally I'll send messages

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Both really.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I'm rarely confident enough to send the first message. I'll send a wink sometimes, but the fear of rejection is usually sitting there in the back of my mind like a stubborn little git. "

Please give it a go, it would make some lucky guys day and the chances of rejection is pretty low if you read your victims (sorry I meant the persons) criteria.

Wish more would message first but fully understand why a lot choose not to or don't need to

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

It seems single men are more proactive than single ladies (which is not a big surprise).Is it because men are so use to rejection in the non fab world that they can simple shrug it off but with the ladies they can not. But what about couples what are their reasons for been inactive?

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By *stoppMan
over a year ago

Durham

I think when you first start out your a lot more proactive as a single male ( like a kid in a sweet shop) but the novelty wears off after a few month of going no where messages, currently I let members approach me these days partly because of the age thing being grandad age etc.. but I still get a few couples a year approach me, so not all bad.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

We rarely wink or message first in case we're not peoples cup of tea.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I set my status and profile to what I am looking for at the time, they will be especially specific when I need certain attributes for a fantasy I want to indulge in, then I wait to see who messages me with the answers I am seeking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't message first anymore as we struggle to find a match. Those that message us generally don't read our profile. Slim pickings!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) quite shy until i get to know someone..I wish i was more up front as I never send the first message or go up to someone in a club that i fancy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inactive. Don't think I've messaged anyone in over 6 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use to be proactive but now can’t be arsed

We know how you feel

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By *ong_John2333Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm trying to be a bit more active, answering forums and sending a fab or two. Checking if Ive had any fabs that might need a follow up message

that is rare though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't message first anymore as we struggle to find a match. Those that message us generally don't read our profile. Slim pickings! "
I did, but your not into single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a dip in and out type and see if a conversation starts via forums. Although sometimes I do send the odd random message, if a profile really catches my eye.

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

I tend to wait to be approached...... unless someone really grabs my interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit of both if I really like someone I will message an hear nowt back but do love one in me in box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

Honestly, think I have only been messaged first once.

Apart from the odd message at 3am asking if I want a blowjob from a random guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don't message first anymore as we struggle to find a match. Those that message us generally don't read our profile. Slim pickings! I did, but your not into single men."

Correct. Believe it or not single men often didn't read our profile either. It's not just couples, but if we stopped them getting through too then being on here would be a bit pointless. Although maybe it already is... Time will tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pro.

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I'm a bit of both, I get quite a few messages especially after around 10.30pm. Occasionally I take to a profile and will make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait.......

Then run

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Inactive.

Because i can’t be arsed with the monumental effort it takes to actually arrange a meet. If it happens it happens, if not then c’est la vie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're definitely lazy Fabbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just floating about

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I'm deffo not active I know I will wait for a long time before any one approachs me but hey ho

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Proactive all the way

Results are rarely forthcoming with a passive approach here, especially for us men!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Occasionally proactive.

I'm currently considering blocking all messages and becoming completely proactive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are very inactive as we never approach anyone but always reply if we are approach which is strange but boils down to being a bit shy I suppose.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I've been getting a lot more traffic since I started using the cam chat rooms, clearly the sight of me sitting at my desk is more compelling than my profile lol

When this lockdown is over I need someone to take some more flattering photos, clearly.

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Thank you everyone for your input and views very insightful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I must be radioactive..

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Proactive all the way

Results are rarely forthcoming with a passive approach here, especially for us men!

"
"He who dares wins Rodney" kind of approach.

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Bit of both if I really like someone I will message an hear nowt back but do love one in me in box "
Think we all do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Inactive.

Because i can’t be arsed with the monumental effort it takes to actually arrange a meet. If it happens it happens, if not then c’est la vie."

I think this sort of sums up my feelings on the issue.

Well done

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By *X Mr Kipling XxMan
over a year ago

Norwich

I'm a nice and polite fabber

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

What surprises me is the lack of confidence or general apathy of a lot of ladies in here. It surprises me.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We spend most of our time chatting to friends or in the forums.

We tend to wait to be messaged rather than us taking the lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too busy deleting majority of messages.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

I sometimes go out on a limb but it’s a risky business and be prepared to get ignored

(A LOT)

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Proactive all the way

Results are rarely forthcoming with a passive approach here, especially for us men!

"He who dares wins Rodney" kind of approach.

Not sure I've heard that one before

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

At the moment I'm inactive - joined the 'just here for the forums' brigade temporarily.

Usually though I'm proactive, if I like you I will tell you and do my best to charm you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a newbie I am proactive but after a little effort its nice that people are messaging me now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really that proactive at the moment. Just using fab here and there when I’ve got a bit of time.

One or two do have my fancy but I’m not someone who usually messages first - age restrictions are a bummer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both =)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wait to be approached..

And not answer lol....

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Inactive

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Neither at the minute

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

We are old fashioned .like to be approached .not with a cock pic and filth talk but chat showing they have read profile and know its Mrs they are chatting to

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I like to contribute to the forums and have made some amazing friends that way.

I tend to keep my circle small and it makes for a more relaxed approach.

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By *hill1965Man
over a year ago

Camberley

Typically read a bio first - but normally wait to be approached

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By *elshkinkyMan
over a year ago

south wales

Both for me ... but normally pro active x

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By *uddly GoblinMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Definitely a mixture of both

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

I’m proactive. I think I could count any unsolicited approaches I’ve had on the fingers of one hand.

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

I’m fairly new, but I’m finding the proactive approach leads nowhere 99% of the time (single blokes are ten a penny, and women get inundated with messages)

Then again, a lot of the time I read the profiles, and decide to send a message, only to find they’ve banned single men/everyone of your sex/non site supporters.

So I sit and wait for a wink, a message, or a Fab..... and end up on the forums instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stick my ore in ont' forums from time to time that's about it other than the odd people that have messaged me, I might be a little too relaxed about about it all, although I've had some lovely chats with people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a polite one msg proactive type of fabber not had a lot of success but being single and not being able to go out only to work I find it passes the time and any interaction is good at the moment to keep you mentally stable it frustrates me when you get blocked so can’t even explain yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very rare we move first. We tend to have a nosey on the forum, well i do (miss) i like the chit chat to it all. We arent in a major rush for anything but if someone puts effort in with us we give 100% bk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh it's difficult you want to make a good first impression and put a lot of effort into an introduction only for it to be ignored or deleted...so you become lazy and just try a simple.hello and then your are not making an effort..

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Ooh it's difficult you want to make a good first impression and put a lot of effort into an introduction only for it to be ignored or deleted...so you become lazy and just try a simple.hello and then your are not making an effort..

"
We understand and feel your pain.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Its always wonderfully exciting to see the envelope saying a message has arrived.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm neither OP - ever since I first joined I had relatively few expectations of meeting people - I just join in the forums, get to know people and whatever develops develops

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I put a lot of effort in at first, but I’m mostly just trawling for the forums now.

I find it’s much, much easier to meet people via dating apps, and being open and honest about intentions and kinks has yielded great results for me. So I’m just sticking with that.

Occasionally sending a message. Mostly just fab people’s pics and add them to my hot list if I want to check them out again.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

I'm a blond one

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By *eachesAndCream99Couple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

We are a bit of both- I’m quite shy initially, it’s the Mr that tends to be more proactive in making the first move. Although, it’s me that then does most of the chit chat

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

We’re very proactive normally , but don’t like chatting online so are being lame and hardly replying or messaging

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By *kiolo1Couple
over a year ago

Whitland

"I set my status and profile to what I am looking for at the time, they will be especially specific when I need certain attributes for a fantasy I want to indulge in, then I wait to see who messages me with the answers I am seeking"

Sounds like a good strategy. I like to use the status to pose questions which brings in messages with people's stories, entertaining and good convo starters. But currently do both, but most people I have continued chats with have approached us first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll approach generally as im still a relative newbie i don’t get many approaching me unless! I hope I shouldnt need read more into why I’m not getting many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly just send winks tbh. I do respond to everyone who messages me, which is usually far and inbetween. I guess I could message me, see where it goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an awesome forum thread legend fabber.

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Definitely proactive.

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach.

I'm a blond one"
Been blonde is ok

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I don’t need to approach at all, so I don’t....

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"I don’t need to approach at all, so I don’t...."
Try it you might like it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never make the first move, everyone is too good for me

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By *uciferLingerieMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"I don’t need to approach at all, so I don’t...."

Guys to fem ratio is a massive difference, though it's not surprising you don't need to approach anyone!

For a guy with a link for lingerie I do have to be more proactive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An hopeful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait to be approached and also very critical and cynical

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Very lazy fabbers here, we don’t browse anymore, haven’t in the last couple of years, so generally just reply to those that message us and take it from there if there’s attraction all round and we click with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just reply to messages if the pique my interest..majority don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely send a first private message unless something on the forum has triggered it. I tend to interact on the forum and things happen from there.I have quite a few friends but I rarely meet, often because, due to logistics, distance and personal circumstances, it is impractical.

Most see me as a friend or acquaintance rather than as a sexual partner and that’s just fine.

A lot of people have me blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tits seem to attract the men

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

I sat back until I was comfy & figured things out. Then I decided nothing would come my way if I wasn't brave enough to talk to some local females & see if any of them fancied something "different". While most were a polite no thanks or ignored me totally, I found a couple of gems who I've met & am still in touch with now away from Fab. I'm never gonna get that lucky being based where I am & chasing the almost impossible dream!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to wait to be approached. I don’t like rejection

Saying that, if someone makes the effort to message and converse, I will always try to engage, I’m not one to give one word answers and I don’t expect a man to be the only one to put in any effort.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I try to be proactive, but alas men don't seem to think their profile or photo's are an important factor, so in the main I can't make first contact!

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"I try to be proactive, but alas men don't seem to think their profile or photo's are an important factor, so in the main I can't make first contact! "
Fellas look and learn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inactive. I don't need to do anything when I get randoms bombarding me ad nauseum

But I am proactive in making the other party prove their worth and keeping them on their toes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wait to be approached, im not confident to ask anyone. Id rather they never know then recieve a rejection x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never get approached am starting to worry its me!

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

Usually we get on with life and wait to be approach. However, on occasion we will make the first move, though it never seems to work.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'm a bit of both.

Even if a guy wasn't interested, who doesn't like a well placed message.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

All men have to think about is does your profile reflect you to the fullest degree? Do you have clear and concise pictures that are not of your cock?

If you can answer no to any of those 2 questions, then you are doomed from the start!

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By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester

"I wait to be approached. Never send the first message unless it's when chatting to people in the forum's.

I know I should be more proactive but fear rejection

Having just checked you out I can't believe that anyone would reject you!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I'm a bit of both.

Even if a guy wasn't interested, who doesn't like a well placed message.

And if a guy is interested all the better

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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago

near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in

The state of me I have to be very active

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By *uciferLingerieMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"I prefer to wait to be approached. I don’t like rejection

Yeah one word answers and messages with no effort is hard work and only deserves the same kind of response!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither or really. Sometimes get bored, check in here and there at messages, then other times seek what I fancy at the time.

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Very passive generally, because those interested in what I have to offer are so few and far between that it's a thankless task being pro active.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach. "

Oh wow this is a great thread. Thanks OP! Changed over the years...

At the beginning very much proactive from updates on my profile, forums to chat rooms and much more. As time went on things just evolved. Learn and adapt. Plus friends distracting and leading astray... ahem!

Became less pro and more inactive in terms of online presence because went more into the social/club scene. It got to the point before lockdown I didn't need to login as much because connected with good friends outside of Fab so always know where to meet and which places to go to etc

Having said that being a Fabber is not just an online presence for me. It's still one of the 1st questions when bump into newbies out and about in the networks... are you on Fab? Yes, great. If not, get on it!

Technically I guess I am still proactive

Being a Fabber will always be special. Even if not logged in for a while. Happy memories

P.s. XXX Adventures on hold till after lockdown. Stay safe fellow Fabbers x

#Paused

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By *osweet69 OP Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

"Are you proactive on fab or inactive and wait to be approach.

Oh wow this is a great thread. Thanks OP! Changed over the years...

Technically I guess I am still proactive

Being a Fabber will always be special. Even if not logged in for a while. Happy memories

P.s. XXX Adventures on hold till after lockdown. Stay safe fellow Fabbers x

#Paused"

Sounds like you have found your own little niche. Long may it continue.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m not a fabber I’m a man.

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