FabSwingers.com forum: Ranking "cheating" on a moral scale

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where would you lot ranking cheating on a "worse than/better than" scale?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Where would you rate it?

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By *ervertsCouple
over a year ago

halesowen

Lowest of the low, I’ve never understood how vanilla people look down on swingers like we’re dirty but then look at cheating men like they’re Jack the lad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst thing someone can do to another person. Lowest of low.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think you need a scale for this. Some things are bad and shouldn’t be done. saying it is less bad than something else is a bit pointless tbh and is shitty for people that have gone through it to see. Sorry to be a bore but... ?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where would you lot ranking cheating on a "worse than/better than" scale?"

Vermin.

Pondlife.

Crawl back into the gutter,

Does that tell you our rating??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Where would you rate it? "

Not as badly as some on here. And that's coming from someone who's been cheated on.

I've been cheated on and I've been dumped and being dumped felt a thousand times worse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t think you need a scale for this. Some things are bad and shouldn’t be done. saying it is less bad than something else is a bit pointless tbh and is shitty for people that have gone through it to see. Sorry to be a bore but... ?????"

No, maybe not. Honestly just interested why people get SO upset by cheating on here.

And I don't think it's pointless like I don't think telling a white lie is the same as robbing someone at knifepoint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheats don’t realise or don’t care how painful it can be for the person being cheated on. If the relationships is that bad you feel the need to cheat it’s done and over anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheats don’t realise or don’t care how painful it can be for the person being cheated on. If the relationships is that bad you feel the need to cheat it’s done and over anyway. "

I know people who have come back from a cheating episode.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Lowest of the low, I’ve never understood how vanilla people look down on swingers like we’re dirty but then look at cheating men like they’re Jack the lad

Swingers cheat as well.

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

What about the 3rd party in the affair. IE you know you're the 'other....' Are they as culpable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’ve been cheated on you can never feel 100% sure about that person again always be doubt deep down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, maybe not. Honestly just interested why people get SO upset by cheating on here.

And I don't think it's pointless like I don't think telling a white lie is the same as robbing someone at knifepoint."

Cheating is bad enough that you don’t need to say what it’s better than. It’s not the same as a white lie, say. If that makes sense

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

No, maybe not. Honestly just interested why people get SO upset by cheating on here.

And I don't think it's pointless like I don't think telling a white lie is the same as robbing someone at knifepoint."

Shitty things aren't absolved just because there are shittier things happening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst thing someone can do to another person. Lowest of low."
agreed..if you're not happy and loved them once..have the common decency to end it before you do anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about the 3rd party in the affair. IE you know you're the 'other....' Are they as culpable?"

They arent the cheat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating is not comparable to a white lie it’s low and it hurts people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No, maybe not. Honestly just interested why people get SO upset by cheating on here.

And I don't think it's pointless like I don't think telling a white lie is the same as robbing someone at knifepoint.

Shitty things aren't absolved just because there are shittier things happening.

That's not what I was implying or asking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, maybe not. Honestly just interested why people get SO upset by cheating on here.

And I don't think it's pointless like I don't think telling a white lie is the same as robbing someone at knifepoint.

Cheating is bad enough that you don’t need to say what it’s better than. It’s not the same as a white lie, say. If that makes sense"

I don't rate it, lying and cheating, low blow do that to somebody.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheating is not comparable to a white lie it’s low and it hurts people "

That's not what I said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can only judge something when it is done to you.

Only then do you know how it feels.

Every story is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both my two ex husband's cheated on me.one with women and one with men.i have been very unlucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheating is not comparable to a white lie it’s low and it hurts people

That's not what I said."

But using it as an example was a false equivalence. Take the other thing you mentioned, robbing someone, as an example- there’s no need to have a discussion about what things are worse than that. It’s very bad and shouldn’t be done, is that not enough?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to play devils advocate...I think it depends on the context. I near enough cheated on my mentally abusive ex (messaging someone, nothing physical) because I needed an escape and found comfort in another person. Not great sure, but completely evil...idk?

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"What about the 3rd party in the affair. IE you know you're the 'other....' Are they as culpable?

They arent the cheat!"

So they shouldn't be condemned for their part?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to play devils advocate...I think it depends on the context. I near enough cheated on my mentally abusive ex (messaging someone, nothing physical) because I needed an escape and found comfort in another person. Not great sure, but completely evil...idk?"

Firstly, sorry you went through that and I hope you’re okay now.

I personally don’t think cheating is the worst thing you can do to a person and I think I’ve had worse things happen to me. Which is why I don’t see the need to rate how bad it is, because it just undermines someone else’s feelings or experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about the 3rd party in the affair. IE you know you're the 'other....' Are they as culpable?

They arent the cheat!

So they shouldn't be condemned for their part?"

Why condemn someone who means nothing to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's pretty down there, untruths never lead to anything positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s hard to compare it to anything else. There are different ‘levels’ of cheating.

Someone who cheats on a partner by having a ONS is potentially on a different scale to the person who lies and deceives for months or years and has an affair.

Both are unforgivable in my opinion. One is hurtful, the other devastating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lowest of the low and someone always gets hurt. I would never knowingly want to hurt someone that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both my two ex husband's cheated on me.one with women and one with men.i have been very unlucky."
Or lucky you didn't spend your life with a lying scumbag, glass is half full so your lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can only judge something when it is done to you.

Only then do you know how it feels.

Every story is different."

Well said

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By *irewolffMan
over a year ago

Dublin

Eh fucking bloody low.

Like cheating when I was going through breast cancer and losing my mam to cancer soon after my own surgery.

Cheating is disgusting. The lies that go with it too.....ugh....dont get me started.

MsD

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d find emotionally cheating harder to forgive than physical cheating.

Sex means fuck all, it’s just a physical act.

Getting close to someone else emotionally means a lot more so I’d have a hard time forgiving that.

I’ve never understood how couples are happy with their partners having a best friend of the opposite sex.

To me, you should be your partner’s best friend. Anyone else is a form of cheating if they’re telling that person things they won’t tell you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

hmm. I tend to look at a situation rather than one isolated consequence of it. Morality is a very personal thing and some people tend to apply their morals more leniently to themselves than to other people

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Cheating the worse when either the person accuses you of cheating to cover up or blames you for the sole reason for cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s worse than not washing and ironing my favourite shorts but it’s better than doing the big food shop and not buying me any Lager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’ve been cheated on you can never feel 100% sure about that person again always be doubt deep down. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure how you can compare it, plus it’s a very difficult subject on a swingers site where many people are in relationships yet chose to swing without there partners involvement or knowledge. But people’s circumstances differ.

Having an affair is bad, devastating in fact but cheating could mean different to different people.

I think murder and sexual abuse is lowest of the low and worse than cheating. So depends what you are comparing to OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where would you lot ranking cheating on a "worse than/better than" scale?

Vermin.

Pondlife.

Crawl back into the gutter,

Does that tell you our rating??"

This is spot on

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By *untsman 999Man
over a year ago

IRVINE

The question being "rate the act of cheating on a moral scale",Id suggest you cant,As cheating in any way shape or form on a partner once you have established a relationship is an immoral act,Involving deception and manipulation,even a 1 night stand.Regarding,living a life with some one yet having a long term secret relationship,all conniving plotting and planning.Could be classed as a mental illness known men to take their own life as a result

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morality is part of a decision making process. It usually vanishes once a decision is reached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no such thing as a morality scale and absolutes of what is better or worse behaviour.

We all are responsible for our own actions, not the actions of others....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There is no such thing as a morality scale and absolutes of what is better or worse behaviour.

We all are responsible for our own actions, not the actions of others....

I agree with you to an extent but as a parent I held myself responsible for the actions of my children, good and bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It had to be one of the lowest things you can do to someone you claim to love in my opinion.

To be on the receiving end of it is awful and it can potentially damage future relationships and generally trust in others.

To some it’s just a physical act, but it can affect those it’s happened to mentally.

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By *ovestrapMan
over a year ago

London

I find it funny.

In the outside would if a person cheats its a terrible thing.

But here. I see men posting threads about them cheating and they get torn apart

Yet women post threads and people cheer them on. And no one has anything bad to say..

Funny right?

Just a thought.

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By *ovestrapMan
over a year ago

London

Anyone else think it's funny.

If a guy cheats they say he is a terrible person.

But if a women cheats its because the guy did something wrong or he drive her to do it?

I have seen this mnay times.

Why do we always assume the women is always right? It's not like women don't cheat? But when she does it's because of her partners fault...

Think it's a terrible thing to do.. If you have to cheat maybe theirs something not right in your relationship...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d find emotionally cheating harder to forgive than physical cheating.

Sex means fuck all, it’s just a physical act.

Getting close to someone else emotionally means a lot more so I’d have a hard time forgiving that.

I’ve never understood how couples are happy with their partners having a best friend of the opposite sex.

To me, you should be your partner’s best friend. Anyone else is a form of cheating if they’re telling that person things they won’t tell you."

Well said... physical vs emotional is different

Plus you can never judge the situation from the outside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’d find emotionally cheating harder to forgive than physical cheating.

Sex means fuck all, it’s just a physical act.

Getting close to someone else emotionally means a lot more so I’d have a hard time forgiving that.

I’ve never understood how couples are happy with their partners having a best friend of the opposite sex.

To me, you should be your partner’s best friend. Anyone else is a form of cheating if they’re telling that person things they won’t tell you.

Well said... physical vs emotional is different

Plus you can never judge the situation from the outside

Physical or emotional it is still cheating and dishonest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worst thing someone can do to another person. Lowest of low."

Um... murder? Torture? R*pe? Slavery?

Saying that someone who cheats is the lowest of the low is both glib and, well, wrong.

I'm not defending it, but there's a shit ton of stuff that's worse.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I don't think you can say any one thing or action is worse than another, without knowing the circumstances behind the situation.

But then again I'm no fan of judgey, holier than thou, my dogs blacker than your dog, kind of people any way.

"Let he who is without sin", "walk a thousand miles in their shoes" blah blah blah.

And yes, I do know what it feels like.

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