FabSwingers.com forum: stepdads

By *ovedupstill OP Couple
over a year ago

mullinwire

following on from the stepmums thread.

i dont have kids, and have never had, or shown, any interest in aving any.

however, Em does, and the oldests g/f is a couple of months pregnant.

i have now been informed im going to be a grandad.

now i have never given this any thought, seeings as i dont have kids, and its a little wierd.

how do you cope with your NON kids and NON grandkids, if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont have any and theres not much chance i ever will

Sorry if it sounds selfish but i have no interest at all in looking after other peoples children so i never got into a relationship with people who had kids, i have my own to look after if i wanted more id have had more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i cant speak on behalf of a step parent, but was certainly odd when my mum called her partner of 6 years 'granddad' when my daughter was around.

I wasn't totally comfortable as he was never an influence in my life. I tried to explain my mum how i felt and we compromised on 'granddad chris' I didnt want my little one getting confused that her nan's partner wasn't my dad.

Oh damm step families its all a mess lol

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By *acciWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I have 2 boys that i didnt give birth to,but dnt class them as my step sons as far as im concern their my sons. Ive brought them up and raised them for 31yrs and when their dad n i divorced i was granted custody of them.

If you have a partner with children they come as a package,i did re marry n my grandchildren call him grandad Joe (we split now),it all works well n the children (now adults) and grandchildren are all happy.

Family is what you make and put into it and you dnt have to be a natural parent to be mum or dad

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

And tbh doesn't improve as you get older

My father remarried, so at Christmas would send him a card To Dad and one to his wife To Someone Special.

She didn't like this so he asled if I could send one To Mom and Dad, I said OK as long as I do the same with the one to Mum and her Hubby. He went balistic

A compromise was To Both of You

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got with Ali 10 years ago today,and she had Brandon who was only 8 month,technically im his stepfather but in my eyes he will always be my Son,we have a daughter together and treat my daughter exactly the same way as i treat brandon , there the best thing thats ever happened to me Apart from that lads holiday in Phuket a few years back oops did i say that out loud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think it takes a special person to be a step parent and be good at it, i haven't had the best experience of it as my step father is a wanker although less so nowadays he has mellowed slightly but yet i have seen it with friends where they have taken on someones kids and treated them like their own, my cousin so much so that i actually completely forgot their oldest lad isn't his as there has never been a moment where he has treated either son differently

i have a lot of respect for those that manage to give as much love and attention to someone elses kid as if their own its a very selfless act, much kudos to those that do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i first met kev my daughter had just turned 4, her father was still around up until about 8 months ago (my daughter is now nearly 13)

She call's kev, kev, unless she is sucking up to him and she puts on the puppy eyes and call's him daddy lol (which always works btw lol) but if she is talking about him to other people she refers to him as dad. This was a natural progression and was never forced on her.

Having talked to her about it her simple answer was "Kev had been more of a dad to me that my real one, so as far as im concerned he is my dad"

Kev see's my daughter as his daughter and they are very close.

As has been said already it takes a special person to be a step parent and the relationship kev as got with my daughter makes me love him all the more.

Kat x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a relationship once where my partner had a 6 year old and i was father to a seperate 7 year old, she kinda dropped hints and pushed for me to be her kids 'dad' although this always sat uncomfortable with me as i knew my own kid would be hurt to hear another kid call me 'dad'. when the issue was eventually raised by her kid askin if he could call me dad i explained to him in a loving manner that im my kids dad but am kinda like your dad but just call me by my name. My partner of the time got upset at this and it was one of the main reasons we split, I still wonder if i did anything wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in a relationship once where my partner had a 6 year old and i was father to a seperate 7 year old, she kinda dropped hints and pushed for me to be her kids 'dad' although this always sat uncomfortable with me as i knew my own kid would be hurt to hear another kid call me 'dad'. when the issue was eventually raised by her kid askin if he could call me dad i explained to him in a loving manner that im my kids dad but am kinda like your dad but just call me by my name. My partner of the time got upset at this and it was one of the main reasons we split, I still wonder if i did anything wrong? "

you have to do whats right for you, and you made that call at the time

without knowing all the details i think you made the right choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Family is what you make and put into it and you dnt have to be a natural parent to be mum or dad"

Absolutely...

Its no secret that Im adopted and I couldnt have had better parents if I had asked...

I was a stepdad too and the kids were mine...

They called me by my name and their father lived close by... But they were my family...

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By *RS79Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I have no children but i do have a father, a mother, a step father, 2 ex step mothers and a soon to be step mother III!

However, as far as my neice & nephew are concerened they have, on our side, four grand parents.

The step parents have always treated the kids as thier own grand childen so the children know no different.

They are still a bit young to understand the issues however the older one has asked me recently why does granny and granddad not live together if they are your mummy and daddy! (i said ask your Dad!)

The step parents are grandpapa (he chose it!) and gandma Claire.

to them it is normal to have 6 sets of grandparents!

They havent YET hit on the fact they can play each set off against the other for better presents

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

i am dad to two boys who are not biologicaly mine. But they are my sons just as much as any of my biological children are. I was there at the birth, just not the conception (why i'm seperated) but as far as i am concerned there is no distinction between any of them. You clean their puke up, change their nappies, burst with pride when they do well and freeze yer nuts off watching them play football then you are their parent not a substitute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Dad is technically my Stepdad, but he is the only father I have ever known...my 'real' Dad went back to his wife when my sister was born and we never saw him again (he died several years later). My friends growing up often didn't know until I told them, and it only really came up when I spoke about my stepsisters, who lived with their Mum when we were kids. He is my Dad, my Sister and I are his Daughters and my Niece is his Granddaughter. If I ever have kids (which is unlikely) he will be their Grandad.

Blood isn't always thicker than water...family are the people that are there for you when it matters, not just when times are good x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blood isn't always thicker than water...family are the people that are there for you when it matters, not just when times are good

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a step dad, we were forced/encouraged to call him dad even though he wasn't, to me he is my mum's husband, whether he brought us up from when I was about 11 yrs old, its not the point as my father was still around until he died 4 yrs ago. I just think my mother has the idea that as he paid for everything, he is allowed to have the title of dad and that is so not true but then she is incredibly materialistic and selfish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blood isn't always thicker than water...family are the people that are there for you when it matters, not just when times are good x"

I was always told this by my parents growing up,they didn't stand by it.Apparently having sex and getting pregnant when you're 19 is good enough reason to disown.My daughter was adopted by my sister,and the 'rents fell out with her too.They're now missing out on 2 daughters and 3 grandchildren,through their own selfishness.

She knows she has a different mum to her sisters,but it makes no difference to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a step dad, we were forced/encouraged to call him dad even though he wasn't, to me he is my mum's husband, whether he brought us up from when I was about 11 yrs old, its not the point as my father was still around until he died 4 yrs ago. I just think my mother has the idea that as he paid for everything, he is allowed to have the title of dad and that is so not true but then she is incredibly materialistic and selfish

Must admit, we were never forced...and we were asked if we wanted the same surname when my Mum & Dad got married. We both did, but I know if we didn't it would never have been an issue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blood isn't always thicker than water...family are the people that are there for you when it matters, not just when times are good

Well said

I have friends that I would consider family before a lot (if not most!) of my blood relatives. A lot of people may not agree with that, but you get tired of being there for people who can't even be arsed to remember to send a birthday card, or remember which of two sisters you are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you`ll be on jeremy kyle soon enough

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