FabSwingers.com forum: stepmums

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

seams to be a fair bit of press coverage in the news regarding Liz Hurley almost bragging in an interview that her step child calls her 'mummy number 2'.

What role should a step mum play? As a parent myself to a young child id be devastated if she were to ever call another woman 'mummy'

Think its easier on parents if the children are easier and understand more about the situation

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

there should be a minimum term served before they are introduced into the childrens lives.

hate to see kids that have loads of 'uncles' because their mother cant control themselves enough to get a babysitter and meet her partner out of the way of impresionably kids.

we wanted it to be 6 months before i met the kdis, however, one weekend after a couple of months their dad had to drop them home a day early, so i met them.

they call me by my name, although the middle one tells his dad im his real dad, but he is a smart little shit anyway lol, and the eldest (26) calls me daddy, which helps me feel old, thnank you muchly lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hate to see kids that have loads of 'uncles' because their mother cant control themselves enough to get a babysitter and meet her partner out of the way of impresionably kids.

couldnt agree more and this is the very reason i will never get into another relationship, as i dont want to be bringing other men into my childs life as i dont see that it is fair on her

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

hate to see kids that have loads of 'uncles' because their mother cant control themselves enough to get a babysitter and meet her partner out of the way of impresionably kids.

couldnt agree more and this is the very reason i will never get into another relationship, as i dont want to be bringing other men into my childs life as i dont see that it is fair on her"

i can see where you are coming from NN, but i was thinking about youg kids. the ones that dont understand why mommy and daddy dont live together, or why another man is in daddies bed when they come in early in the morning for a cuddle from mommy.

after around 13/14/15 kids understand the dating game, and appreciate you dont want to be alone for the rest of your life, so its acceptable to meet other people, but i still dont think its appropriate to bring them home when the kids are there, no matter the age.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i did have a relationship with a 42yr old man back when i was 22. He had 2 children (aged 12 & 10) and i was more friends with them, i helped them out with homework something my then ex and his ex wife (the childrens mum) was actually glad of, because i could help when they were clueless.

I got scared when they kids got excited and called my daughter their new little sister

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hate to see kids that have loads of 'uncles' because their mother cant control themselves enough to get a babysitter and meet her partner out of the way of impresionably kids.

couldnt agree more and this is the very reason i will never get into another relationship, as i dont want to be bringing other men into my childs life as i dont see that it is fair on her

lol dont bank on it i have a 20 year old who told me the other day i was to old to 'date' anyway lol

shes probably right but my comments was aimed more towards my yongest child not my two older ones, tho shes 11 and understands that me and her dad are no longer together, as we havnt been for many years now and he has a partner who she goes and stays with i still wouldnt feel comfy bringing a guy into her life, ive always been a ,little funny like that its why i have never been with anyone since i split with her dad, i just want to be seen as mum and i dont want her feeling like im brionging someone else into our lifes

i guess we are all different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

NN i feel over protective over my little one too. Its me and her. An ideal relationship for me would be 7pm til 7am.. so he's gone by the time my daughter would wake up.

Im no way after a 'daddy' type role.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NN i feel over protective over my little one too. Its me and her. An ideal relationship for me would be 7pm til 7am.. so he's gone by the time my daughter would wake up.

Im no way after a 'daddy' type role. "

mine wouldnt allow the daddy type role anyway, they are all very strong minded young women and if any guy came into my house and started trying to set rules they'd all tell him where to get off

Infact i doubt any guy would want to take my mob on if i was looking lol

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"shes probably right but my comments was aimed more towards my yongest child not my two older ones, tho shes 11 and understands that me and her dad are no longer together, as we havnt been for many years now and he has a partner who she goes and stays with i still wouldnt feel comfy bringing a guy into her life, ive always been a ,little funny like that its why i have never been with anyone since i split with her dad, i just want to be seen as mum and i dont want her feeling like im brionging someone else into our lifes

i guess we are all different "

see, tat was my BIG problem. maybe i was being overly worried, but i didnt want the kids thinking i was taking any of their mums love away from them, or i was replacing their dad, cuz im not, and dont want to, because i dont think i could be that big an arsehole for a start lol.

but seriously, i wouldnt feel comfortable with them calling my dad. ade is fine.

and i definitely dont want to be called grandad, not at my age. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seams to be a fair bit of press coverage in the news regarding Liz Hurley almost bragging in an interview that her step child calls her 'mummy number 2'.

What role should a step mum play? As a parent myself to a young child id be devastated if she were to ever call another woman 'mummy'

Think its easier on parents if the children are easier and understand more about the situation"

on the otherside here i bought my children up, they dont call karen mum cos she will never be! all im trying to say is it happens to blokes aswell as mothers

allen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My middle daughter lives with her Stepmum, sadly her dad passed away earlier this year..

Now she is like her 2nd mum.. but My daughter has never called her mum. I do have a few times where she will try to overule me but we are now in a situation where She knows what I would say in any situation and I know what she would say.

However as my daughter chooses to stay there, I have to look that its her rules there.

However, important things have to be run past me.. as now without my ex husband being alive I have full parental responsibility. However I try not to pull the power trip on her.

I hated my step mum, she used to try and be mum to me and I was 13 when my dad met her.. she is never going to be my mum, not even now my Mum is no longer here.

I think though that after a while they should accept the authority..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen my mates sons with his ex's new fella and he was throwing em around like his own, I felt I should say summat but then I thought this guy probably looks after them etc etc and it's fuck all to do with me, I've actually forgot where I was going with this now!!! Hamburger anyone????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can u women tell me WHY they abandon kids to there fathers, my kids will never call karen mummy,,oh i wouldnt let them,,but i think its disgusting when mothers abandon their children even if they know they got good dad,,i find it quite sad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can u women tell me WHY they abandon kids to there fathers, my kids will never call karen mummy,,oh i wouldnt let them,,but i think its disgusting when mothers abandon their children even if they know they got good dad,,i find it quite sad"

millions of dads do it every year do you find that disgustiong too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been away from the ex for a year now, i get access to my boys overnight on a tuesday and overnight on a friday until tea time saturday!

I have never introduced them to any of my gfs as i feel that the time i have with my boys is our quality time!

They do keep asking if dad has a gf tho, i just tell them even if i did, im still their dad and their mum is still there mum!

My youngest has said b4 that when he gets a gf i can have her mum! Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's rarely abandonment its mostly the right situation at that time or the child's choice, Although I do know someone that did abandon her children and even ignores them when they have all been in the same room together and this I cannot fathom at all I'm friends with her identical twin sister who is fiercely protective of her children so not so identical really after all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wouldn't know the answer as i've not abandoned my child. Think parents split up for countless reasons and in each case its a very individual circumstance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

millions of dads do it every year do you find that disgustiong too?"

naugty of course not and yes i was in a minority of single parents bringing kids up as a single bloke till i met kaz,,i just really cant cant get it in me head why women dont want their offspring,,,will talk to ya next time in chams hey chick x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughters stayed with their father as when we split I was the one out at work and he had been the one providing the primary care...

Its really not abandonment but what is best for the child. As why just because myself and their father were not getting along should I have ripped them away from their home and all they knew.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My youngest has said b4 that when he gets a gf i can have her mum! Lol.

haha bless him,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why is it so Disgusting,just because a woman leaves her home and the kids to the Father to look after, it does make her a bad person. there could be 100s of reason for it to happen, and its no Difference when a guy does it or is it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why is it so Disgusting,just because a woman leaves her home and the kids to the Father to look after, it does not make her a bad person. there could be 100s of reason for it to happen, and its no Difference when a guy does it or is it"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

kaz_allen i don't understand why a man would walk away from his child either, but sadly it happens. As single parents we just have to make the best of the situation for our children.

Ive always said i love my daughter double the amount and i'm a mum and dad rolled into one. I hate sharing and sometimes im glad i don't have too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I really don't think it matters what the child calls the stepmother, its far better for the child to have a good relationship with their step parent and call them mum or dad than an unhappy one when a first name is used.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughters stayed with their father as when we split I was the one out at work and he had been the one providing the primary care...

Its really not abandonment but what is best for the child. As why just because myself and their father were not getting along should I have ripped them away from their home and all they knew.

Cali "

cali my kids have never even had a birthday card for 10 years of their birth mother, im sure in some way u women see ur kids at weekends etc or whenever u can, i gave my kids stability in life n there doing well in school (well i hope) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My youngest has said b4 that when he gets a gf i can have her mum! Lol.

if you son changes gf's as often as mine seems to, you'll have a great social life!

I dont know what it is about my boy and his mates, but they seem to swap partners every few days...

(jealous? me? of course I am!!! lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"kaz_allen i don't understand why a man would walk away from his child either, but sadly it happens. As single parents we just have to make the best of the situation for our children.

Ive always said i love my daughter double the amount and i'm a mum and dad rolled into one. I hate sharing and sometimes im glad i don't have too "

cute love ur quote but dont u think i was dad n mam until i met kaz,,,,but no karens never gonna be me kids mother xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My youngest has said b4 that when he gets a gf i can have her mum! Lol.

if you son changes gf's as often as mine seems to, you'll have a great social life!

I dont know what it is about my boy and his mates, but they seem to swap partners every few days...

(jealous? me? of course I am!!! lol)

looks like you got you might have got into swinging cos of your lads healthy appetite for the ladies lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our situation is different, Pete was divorced when i met him and after a few months i met his kids.They are now 9 & 7 and live with us full time as their mum sadly died 16 months ago. They call me by my name and i think it would feel weird if they called me mum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"kaz_allen i don't understand why a man would walk away from his child either, but sadly it happens. As single parents we just have to make the best of the situation for our children.

Ive always said i love my daughter double the amount and i'm a mum and dad rolled into one. I hate sharing and sometimes im glad i don't have too

cute love ur quote but dont u think i was dad n mam until i met kaz,,,,but no karens never gonna be me kids mother xx

But she can be an influence and a friend when they need someone to talk to and they might not want to ask/talk to you about things.

Now my little one is attending nursery i'm sure she will hear her friends talk about 'mummy and daddy' and its going to break my heart when she asks me about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

millions of dads do it every year do you find that disgustiong too?

women have all kinds of reasons same as men, when my sister and her fella split he kept the kids, basically because she couldnt cope with them and she thought it best to leave them than take them, everyone called her all the names under the sun for it yet men do it week in week out, leave a relationship and the kids stay with mum and thats totally acceptable....how so?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looks like you got you might have got into swinging cos of your lads healthy appetite for the ladies lol

bless him, i dont think i can compete.

we had a discussion about sex etc a few months back and i told him that I didn't lose my virginity till i was 19... and that was to the girl who eventually became his mum....his reply (with a big grin on his face mind):

"dad, you're such a loser!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Our situation is different, Pete was divorced when i met him and after a few months i met his kids.They are now 9 & 7 and live with us full time as their mum sadly died 16 months ago. They call me by my name and i think it would feel weird if they called me mum. "

This sadly reminds me of a couple who live a few doors up from my grandparents. a mans wife passed away with cancer leaving behind a beautiful 3year old boy. The street was stunned when the husband moved in his new partner in just 4 weeks after his wife died. She already had a boy who was 4. It broke my heart when i heard her shout at the 3year old 'you call me mummy now'

Its been 2 years and he calls her mum. Im still unsure if it was the right call, but thats up to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"kaz_allen i don't understand why a man would walk away from his child either, but sadly it happens. As single parents we just have to make the best of the situation for our children.

Ive always said i love my daughter double the amount and i'm a mum and dad rolled into one. I hate sharing and sometimes im glad i don't have too

cute love ur quote but dont u think i was dad n mam until i met kaz,,,,but no karens never gonna be me kids mother xx

you know something, any fool can have a shag and produce a child

A mother and a father is the one thats there for a child, the one that works to provide for them, the one that sit up when they're ill, the one who stands outside in the rain waiting for them to come out of school, the one that goes without to buy them that special something they want for their birthday....a mother/father isnt always someone who gave borth its the one who cares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

birth*

my fingers gt carried away their in my sentiment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"kaz_allen i don't understand why a man would walk away from his child either, but sadly it happens. As single parents we just have to make the best of the situation for our children.

Ive always said i love my daughter double the amount and i'm a mum and dad rolled into one. I hate sharing and sometimes im glad i don't have too

cute love ur quote but dont u think i was dad n mam until i met kaz,,,,but no karens never gonna be me kids mother xx

you know something, any fool can have a shag and produce a child

could not have put it better myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/12 13:55:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its been 2 years and he calls her mum. Im still unsure if it was the right call, but thats up to them. "

thats very sad. but the Father is the 1 that will prob face problems in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never expect them to call me mum, im already mum to my own 2 children and i dont think they would like it if the younger ones called me mum either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iloved it when i worked for gingerbread for the single fathers....well actually i didnt drug taking tossers half of em with kids ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never expect them to call me mum, im already mum to my own 2 children and i dont think they would like it if the younger ones called me mum either"

If i was to be in your situation as a parent id find it odd to be called 'mum' by someone else's children as i know id not like it if my own child were to call someone else 'mum'

Think its a respect thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just wishme kids would respect karen,,,,but no all thet ask her is for money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well the way i see it is they didnt call me mum before she died so why should that change now they live with us, im perfectly happy to be called by my name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I never expect them to call me mum, im already mum to my own 2 children and i dont think they would like it if the younger ones called me mum either

If i was to be in your situation as a parent id find it odd to be called 'mum' by someone else's children as i know id not like it if my own child were to call someone else 'mum'

Think its a respect thing. "

oh agree

i would go mad if my yougest called my ex's mrs mum, even tho they have been together for years, however i do respect that shes a mother figure in my childs life and when my daughter is at her house she respects her and abides by her rules, they actually get on very good to be honest and my daughter loves her and loves staying with her when the ex has her, which makes life easier

But you dont have to be called mum to play a mothers role

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seams to be a fair bit of press coverage in the news regarding Liz Hurley almost bragging in an interview that her step child calls her 'mummy number 2'.

What role should a step mum play? As a parent myself to a young child id be devastated if she were to ever call another woman 'mummy'

Think its easier on parents if the children are easier and understand more about the situation"

dont u think its the same as a some child would call dad to he/she .works both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think i,ll join fathers 4 justce oops lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seams to be a fair bit of press coverage in the news regarding Liz Hurley almost bragging in an interview that her step child calls her 'mummy number 2'.

What role should a step mum play? As a parent myself to a young child id be devastated if she were to ever call another woman 'mummy'

Think its easier on parents if the children are easier and understand more about the situation

dont u think its the same as a some child would call dad to he/she .works both ways

theres lots of familys where kids call a new partner mum or dad, something like that is a personal choice, theres nothing right or wrong about it its what works best for your family unit

I used to call my Gan mum, as she was the one who bough me up for many years, as far as i was concerned she was my mum and i treated her as such

Its a personal thing

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