FabSwingers.com forum: Letting people down gently

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Those that know me, will know I may be giant but I am very gentle. I tend to let people down gently over messages if I’m not attracted. But this is not always the case. What’s the worst way you have been turned down?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me, but my female friend asked out my male friend when we were all 12

He said ‘sorry no, I’m not gay’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those that know me, will know I may be giant but I am very gentle. I tend to let people down gently over messages if I’m not attracted. But this is not always the case. What’s the worst way you have been turned down? "

Once a guy text me after a date saying that I was worth a shag but not worth making the sandwiches. He meant to text his mate but text me by accident

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When l took time off work for a morning meet , ( as it was the best time for the lady to meet ) drove for over an hour for a no show .

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

It's ok you could have just sad no

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"Not me, but my female friend asked out my male friend when we were all 12

He said ‘sorry no, I’m not gay’"

My first 'girlfriend' let me down gently by saying she was gay.

We were 11.

She is still gay to this day.

Not THAT is commitment.

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

"It's ok you could have just said no

Fixed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gently...

You told me my eyes were too close together, my nose was too big and you didn’t like my ear hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At last, a thread for my expertise!

Which of the innumerable ways you've been turned down was the most embarrassing!

I'm someone who takes rejection hard but I think just not replying is fine, It would be nice to know if It's my photos or my message which sucked the hardest but whenever I've been in the reverse situation, it's just not something you want to get into.

In person, I have had a girl just laugh at me. If you can avoid that, that'd be great.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just being blocked, no explanation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

such bad timing!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"fuck off fatty" is about the worst I've had. Yeah. I think that's it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

Pmsl.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex wife ended it via text.

That was just class.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it was showing my face on here to a man in a PM and him blocking me. Its a tiny bit easier now but 6 years ago it was horrible and knocked me back alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a thread that makes me appreciate being ignored.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

such bad timing! "

I was like "oh dear, there must be some glitch, all those messages just disappeared"

No, he fled.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A girl I once liked at Uni decided to move to Australia the day after I asked her out on a date.

I thought that was a tad extreme.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Had a mutual definitely NO experience, walking up to see each other and us realising I am actually 6 inches taller than him, we stopped about 8 ft apart smiled, shook our heads and went our separate ways

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

such bad timing!

I was like "oh dear, there must be some glitch, all those messages just disappeared"

No, he fled. "

I would be fapping

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

All I've had so far is kind no's not my type of removing friends etc

I'm a virgin here for a hard no

Few are dying to I'm sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First job working in a Pub, really liked the waitress/Barmaid that worked there aswell. We got on really well it seemed. Got d*unk on the other side of the bar one night. Conversation somehow got on to who we fancied. She said a guy at her friends Uni, I stupidly said her lol. She just went quiet and didn't speak to me again over than when she was serving me lol. She left a month or two after that lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had, (not on here) more than one occasion where I have been told I would be really attractive if I lost some weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

It was only a social and I'd expected nothing else but her company with no pressure. After an hour she made an excuse and returned back to her hotel. I was gobsmacked as I dont look any different to my photos, nothing awkward happened...

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

This bothered me greatly as we were only meeting as friends and after all the drama I went through the previous night (which she knew about) most would've cancelled the meet let alone drive from South Birmingham to Manchester.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Gently...

You told me my eyes were too close together, my nose was too big and you didn’t like my ear hair.

Lies!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Below are the worst I've had

Fuck off you fat ugly bastard

Your cock is too small

What the hell made you think I'd want to fuck you

Some lovely people on FAB

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It still shocks me how people can be so cruel. I’m guessing upbringing or people that have been treated badly in the past doing the same. Bullied become bullies maybe.

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

"It still shocks me how people can be so cruel. I’m guessing upbringing or people that have been treated badly in the past doing the same. Bullied become bullies maybe.

Or just doing only what they know or seen from relationships in their lives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s for the best that we don’t meet again, after 2 months of meeting 2 to 3 times a week. Military guy and Xmas leave had ended.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Is this through fab or just in general?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this through fab or just in general?"

Either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had, (not on here) more than one occasion where I have been told I would be really attractive if I lost some weight."

Makes sense. I don't think losing weight would stop you being attractive.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I was turned down many years ago because I wasn't attractive enough and lacked grrr.

I've been turned down on fab on a number of occasions and was simply told not interested. The one that stood out was that I wasn't hairy enough

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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago

Near Wellingborough

Nah I'm going to ask out your mate, she's well fit.....they're now engaged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not saying but it was unpleasant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Personally most hurtful for me was about my height. Too tall.

I’ve had about my weight also and one said I had the best personality ever but would not look good on his arm.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

Complete ghosting after an initial social

I didn't think it went that badly

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Gently...

You told me my eyes were too close together, my nose was too big and you didn’t like my ear hair.

That sounds like something Babybird would have said (Because you're gorgeous) whilst writing that song, all those years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman."

Fuck..that's a fair fucking bad thing to do to any guy .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow some of these comments, people can be so cruel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman.

Fuck..that's a fair fucking bad thing to do to any guy ."

We had been awesome friends for months on fab and WhatsApp prior. I think she got off on just being a cow. Makes me laugh when I see her on here and guys sucking up to her lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been turned more than my fair share.

The one that got me most wasnt long ago. I'd spent ages trying to find someone local when out the blue, one sent me a message

(Simplified)

Her: hey, want to swap face photos.

Me: sure here you go

Her: sorry not my type

Blocked

That's when I had enough and hid my profile, never to meet anyone on fab again

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

The one where met in the hotel car park....

We had talked for weeks shared pics and she asked to meet me.

She drove up parked next to my car, opened the car door looked out and said.....

Oh God No!

Shut the car door and drove away

Maybe she didnt like land rovers.....

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I chatted to a guy quite a bit. Sent him a face photo, got positve feedback.

His face photo was ages old so after some lengthy chats I asked him to send one holding an apple. He did and he looked loads older and different, he wasn't really my type but I wasn't going to be rude. He asked me to do the same. Told him I'd been to the gym and was sweaty. Said it didn't matter. Sent it.

He never replied and just disappeared

How bloody rude.

Mind, saved me a job.

Idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I'd rather be dead,

Than risk fucking you.

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By *ddictedToLoveMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

I bet he was so shocked by your beauty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman....

I think she got off on just being a cow. "

These things don't quite go together

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Once got asked, did ur mother have any kids that lived

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"I have had, (not on here) more than one occasion where I have been told I would be really attractive if I lost some weight."

Harsh and not nice

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
over a year ago

Rochester, Kent

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

Maybe he realised you know him? Sounds as if he had something to hide!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

I think getting the “we both know this isn’t going to go anywhere” speech on a date and then him sat waiting....and waiting...for me to get up and leave was the worst, but only because it was so awkward (for me!).

Makes me cringe just thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had, (not on here) more than one occasion where I have been told I would be really attractive if I lost some weight."

You look fantastic as you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not one yet but then I haven't messaged anyone

I've had them dissappear from POF when I've sent a message

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"I had a guy instantly delete his profile when I sent him a face pic

I bet he was so shocked by your beauty

Yea that's what I tell myself

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Many years ago got dumped by my first girlfriend on a nightclub dancefloor at 5 mins to midnight on NYE. Told me I was "Too nice" and she celebrated the New year by snogging the face off another guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told I'm too strong & opinionated for my own good

but I'll find someone for me one day.

Dickhead.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman."

That is so callous and inconsiderate

Sometimes, even if it stings, it's better the person reveal themselves early on rather than later when you've made an ever greater investment in time and effort. Chin up matey

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By *nvisible_beardMan
over a year ago

near newbridge, wales

"I was told I'm too strong & opinionated for my own good

but I'll find someone for me one day.

Dickhead."

Those are good characteristics not bad

Obviously wanted a push over to boss about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told I'm too strong & opinionated for my own good

but I'll find someone for me one day.

Dickhead.

Those are good characteristics not bad

Obviously wanted a push over to boss about"

Thank you x I think you're right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had, (not on here) more than one occasion where I have been told I would be really attractive if I lost some weight.

Makes sense. I don't think losing weight would stop you being attractive."

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By *ightowlingWoman
over a year ago

Near Taunton

"At last, a thread for my expertise!

ty for the smiles I need that today x

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By *ightowlingWoman
over a year ago

Near Taunton

So I just had my worst/obvious one recently lol... It was: I didn't feel the physical connection I'm looking for.

The embarrassing bit is it took a while for the penny to drop that this means 'I didn't like shagging you enough to want to do it again'

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

just mention

The rash and if that does not work the oozing pustuals

If non of that works I mention I've been out of the house twice for non essential items

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I say screw them ALL!!!!

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I just tend to be ignored haha

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By *DW1983Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen, Leeds, Sheffield

As much as I find it fruatrating either being ignored or people just disappearing mid-conversation, it kinda makes me glad for that when I read threads like this! Could be so much worse. That said, I've had people not turn up too, a few times, though not from this site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told to fuck off I'm way to hairy and even the best beauty therapist in the world wouldnt have enough wax to sort my problem out.

And that was just after me sending a message saying good morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll let you know if it happens

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I say screw them ALL!!!!

Form an orderly queue lads.

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

Once a guy text me after a date saying that I was worth a shag but not worth making the sandwiches. He meant to text his mate but text me by accident

What kind of sandwiches? Tuna?

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I used to get deleted and blocked with my opening message, now I just get ignored. I guess that's progress!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily my only worst experience involved someone postponing a date. I got the message after 3rd time.

People shouldn't waste others time. Good manners and courtesy doesn't cost anything. Well, I suppose it's a matter of values.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say what you mean being gentle doesn’t work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman."

Perception is a crazy thing indeed. Knowing the lady involved, I can only say she rem_mbers it being very different to how you’ve portrayed it. And as I know her better than you OP, I find it difficult to believe she would ever behave in such a way, in fact I know she wouldn’t.

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By *killsMan
over a year ago

Never Never Land

Let me count the ways lol

I think the worst is to be chatting and FR each other, start talking about after the lockdown then boom. No longer friends, messages get read and then deleted and then blocked a short while later.

Manners cost nothing and I would much rather a polite no thanks than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After exchanging quite a few messages for no reason I was told I was too bald and old...? Lol

I'd messaged a girl for months, shes not from the UK but a very popular forumite none the less.

We had gotten on really well and as she was over here in the country late last year we'd arranged a social. To make this happen I had to drive an almost 5 1/2hr round trip.

I text her to thank her for her company and she replied in a very cold manner then blocked me.

I've since found out shes done this to guys before.

I know what most will think, well perhaps she didnt like you?

I'd be totally cool with it but there was no need to treat me like that.

Some on here know me well enough to know I couldn't ever be anything less than a gentleman."

Firstly I would like to point out that the too bald and ugly comment was made by a different woman in a totally unrelated incident, sorry if it looked as if the 2 stories were connected.

As for the account underneath I maintain that is what happened though I'm sure it could've only been the lack of communication due to being blocked that compounded the issue.

The only reason why I text later a couple of times was to find out where the misunderstanding lay so as to put it right.

I was concerned I'd inadvertently upset her and now that would appear not to have been the case.

The "cow" remark though was totally uncalled for and I would like to say I am very sorry for that.

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By *elly72Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

One bf got his friend to ask his gf to tell me it was over. And another dumped me went on holiday then phoned me and asked to go back out yeah no thanks

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Many years ago got dumped by my first girlfriend on a nightclub dancefloor at 5 mins to midnight on NYE. Told me I was "Too nice" and she celebrated the New year by snogging the face off another guy. "

You are, run to the hills. She is toxic...I'm talking from experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doesn't wworry me now.

people are just images on a screen.

no one exists until you actually meet them.

for all you know you could be exchanging messages with a bot

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"doesn't wworry me now.

people are just images on a screen.

no one exists until you actually meet them.

for all you know you could be exchanging messages with a bot"

The question was in general not just Fab life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"doesn't wworry me now.

people are just images on a screen.

no one exists until you actually meet them.

for all you know you could be exchanging messages with a bot

The question was in general not just Fab life.

in general. I don't know any generals

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By *urse4visitsWoman
over a year ago

hull

All of a sudden being ghosted when you've been getting on really well and making plans to meet

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I've had someone leave the site on the day of our planned meet.

Not sure if it was because of me, but I know these things happen.

I think some people change their minds and don't know how to deal with it.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Me.. Hi, do you fancy going out for a drink one night ?

Woman..I’d love to go out with you for a drink Sam but unfortunately I'm going to have a migraine that night

Me.. Ok no problem

Me five minutes later.. Mmm hang on I didn't mention a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry I thought it was your twin sister not you bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a mutual definitely NO experience, walking up to see each other and us realising I am actually 6 inches taller than him, we stopped about 8 ft apart smiled, shook our heads and went our separate ways

Strormtropper undies. Wow.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

"Me.. Hi, do you fancy going out for a drink one night ?

Woman..I’d love to go out with you for a drink Sam but unfortunately I'm going to have a migraine that night

Me.. Ok no problem

Me five minutes later.. Mmm hang on I didn't mention a day

Lol sorry but that did make me laugh

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