FabSwingers.com forum: The Universal Moan

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was reading the 'Qualifications' thread (something I must be an expert at cos I've been reading for 43 years now and have done it millions of times and got all sorts of ology's in it) and it struck me that there does exist in this world a Universal Moan.

It came like a bolt out of the blue - y'know, one of them Eureka moments!

What is the Universal Moan, I here you ask? It's this:

When people are unhappy about ANYTHING and can't put their finger on it, or find the words to explain it, it's the government's fault.

Somehow these shadowy people who sit in shadowy buildings making shadowy decisions are to blame for, well, everything.

Ny applying the Universal Moan Theory it demonstrates that:

~ They're all idiots

~ They all are in it for themselves

~ None of them live in the real world

~ None of them can relate to the common man

~ None them know the price of a pint of milk, apparently???

~ or petrol

~ They don't use public transport

~ The don't holiday in Spain with the rest of the 'plebs', preferring instead to go to Brussels for some weird reason taking all their family with them

~ They all have rich friends, are rich themselves, and went to a place called 'Ee-tone' (it's near 'okaay-yahsville right next to 'daddysendshugs' if you wanna google it)

~ They're not all friends with each other (which is odd cos they stand next to each other telling jokes when their foreign counterparts visit for big weddings and the like)

Yes, I think it's fair to say that the Universal Moan allows everyone to let of a little bit of steam so they can continue with their lives and not feel so bad about everything, anything, nothing.

So three cheers for The Universal Moan, long may it live and long may it continue to make no fookin sense at all.

p.s. feel free to drop yours off here for a few hours before picking it up in time for tea later. I'll look after it. Ta.