FabSwingers.com forum: How do men know you’re over them?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I asked this in the men thread but it was overlooked by people asking why men don’t put the toilet seat down. Don’t fucking talk about toilet seats now, but how do men have a sixth sense to know you’re over them but then contact you to try and get in your god graces again!? Having this recently with an ex but nothing knew I’ve had it with every guy I’ve dated.

With me I’m intense and creepy and fall hard fast but once the psychopath phase is done I can’t go back. They have to catch me when I’m in that phase cos once they’re out the system they’re out for good but it’s like they know or can sense when I’m at that stage and then they try luring me back. Why!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s an ego thing.

Just to prove to themselves that they can.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think some people just have a sixth sense about this stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they just get the vibe from you that you are losing interest so they try to step their game up for fear of losing you?

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Some men like to control. It’s kinda sad really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly sensing some temporary vulnerability and hoping this is the right "catch her off guard" moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they can... when they think they don’t matter to you they test the waters to prove that they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because they can... when they think they don’t matter to you they test the waters to prove that they do. "

*try to prove

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I re read your post. Not sure if I replied correctly..

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"It’s an ego thing.

Just to prove to themselves that they can.

They may not want you, but in a sad way like the attention.

When the attention wanes they just want to reel you back in to see if they can.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think it's because they love themselves so much they fail to believe any one could get over them and have to prove it to themselves one last time before they fuck off and break your heart.

Never go back.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

From my experience it's when she has a new hairdo, buys a new outfit and stops returning ma calls

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

"It’s an ego thing.

Just to prove to themselves that they can.

They may not want you, but in a sad way like the attention.

When the attention wanes they just want to reel you back in to see if they can."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's just a usual...case of appreciating something once we lose it. So loss of interest equals wrecking the gas pedal and going fast to imaginary finish line.

before they get disqualified

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s an ego thing.

Just to prove to themselves that they can.

"
This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her. "

It’s like your reading my mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me if I call it quits it is that.

If it's a joint agreement then I respect that also iv never had any unexpected booting but I know how stubborn I am and 100% I would not make contact.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Some men like to control. It’s kinda sad really. "

This too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The lockdown might have something to do with it as well, isolating, no rugby, no bars, can’t go out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her. "

Spot on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't know you was over me

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her. "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be some magic formula between boredom, horniness, crossness of last message and time elapsed for when they will contact you again.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"It’s an ego thing.

Just to prove to themselves that they can.

Nailed it. Once I realised this my life became instantly easier.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"I asked this in the men thread but it was overlooked by people asking why men don’t put the toilet seat down. Don’t fucking talk about toilet seats now, but how do men have a sixth sense to know you’re over them but then contact you to try and get in your god graces again!? Having this recently with an ex but nothing knew I’ve had it with every guy I’ve dated.

All men are equal opportunist or he or they didn't realize but know you do.

As for the why...it so you will fuck them.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's annoying isn't it? Especially the ones who won't leave you alone once you're not interested anymore but when you were actually dating they were distant or would keep going quiet on you. If anything it just proves to me more that I made the right decision as clearly all the excuses were bullshit if they've suddenly got the time to chase after you once they've realised you're over it.

As for how they know I just think it's easy to pick up on someone's disinterest. Especially when they previously were interested and you notice the drop off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her. "

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it comes to matters sexual, men are irrationally optimistic..

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

It’s simple, don’t look back and block everywhere and then they can’t do it

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

"When it comes to matters sexual, men are irrationally optimistic.."

Very true

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I'd guess it's because you are easy to read and manipulate also you obviously choose the guys who can read you well and enjoy manipulation as not all men have that skill or desire x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'd guess it's because you are easy to read and manipulate also you obviously choose the guys who can read you well and enjoy manipulation as not all men have that skill or desire x"

Yeah obviously it’s my fault even though I’ve not had any contact with him or seen him for months

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I'd guess it's because you are easy to read and manipulate also you obviously choose the guys who can read you well and enjoy manipulation as not all men have that skill or desire x

Yeah obviously it’s my fault even though I’ve not had any contact with him or seen him for months

How can your preference be your fault you like the men you like

You asked have they got a sixth sense

The answer is no just a really shitty personality type

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I'd guess it's because you are easy to read and manipulate also you obviously choose the guys who can read you well and enjoy manipulation as not all men have that skill or desire x

Yeah obviously it’s my fault even though I’ve not had any contact with him or seen him for months

I will apologise I was absolutely not trying to lay blame only reason

Not every woman suffers your plight

Not every man has the ability

You are the common factor

However

Just as some women subconsciously need a tall man or a long haired blond

others like a geek who talks film

You are drawn without understanding to utter bastards you're not alone and you wont be able to change the personality type you like

I'm drawn occasionally to dangerous women I have a soft heart I also need to be careful x

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

Do you think they send texts to all their ex’s and just wait to see if any reply? Because it’s lockdown and they may as well chance their arm.

I had someone go years without a text then recently one suddenly arrived. It was a very strange text exchange. I blocked him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you think they send texts to all their ex’s and just wait to see if any reply? Because it’s lockdown and they may as well chance their arm.

I had someone go years without a text then recently one suddenly arrived. It was a very strange text exchange. I blocked him. "

This one wasn’t a random text it was answering something I’d asked for on a Facebook status, he messaged me saying he had the stuff I wanted and brought them, but then been messaging since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think it’s a sixth sense I think it’s more of a case of women tend to mope, cry and feel heartbroken for the first few months and then after that they get over it and flourish, whereas guys tend to do the opposite, the heartbreak comes later.

And by the time the heartbreak comes for a man and he contacts you, you’re already in the “over it” stage. It’s happened several times to me!

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Do you think they send texts to all their ex’s and just wait to see if any reply? Because it’s lockdown and they may as well chance their arm.

I had someone go years without a text then recently one suddenly arrived. It was a very strange text exchange. I blocked him.

This one wasn’t a random text it was answering something I’d asked for on a Facebook status, he messaged me saying he had the stuff I wanted and brought them, but then been messaging since. "

So he did you a good deed and bought you something you had asked for.... not exactly out of the blue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men know when you leave the toilet seat up

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

They can read minds.

When your head is full of them they’re thinking “weirdo!” And then as your mind clears of them and you move on they get a spidey sense and think “hang on!” And pow! They’re back in the room.

It usually happens to me when i get a new fella. Kapow! Old boyfriends rock up declaring undying love.

Yet when i’m single, i get nothing.

Men. So bloody complicated!

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It's easily sorted.

Block all contact.

Take control of the situation and don't let them have any hold over you.

Looks forwards in life.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's easily sorted.

Block all contact.

Take control of the situation and don't let them have any hold over you.

Looks forwards in life."

It's bloody freeing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This one isn’t a bad guy, I was in a dark place last year, I’d just finished a 3 year nasty court battle with my ex and his family and the months that followed that made me have some kind of breakdown from having to be strong for all those years. I was nasty to the dude, maybe he thinks I’m safe to approach again!

I’m guessing it’s a lock down thing. No rugby, no pubs, no socialising!

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"The stages men go through when they meet a hot woman

1. "fucking hell she's really hot and is up for anything sexually, can't get enough of her"

2. "actually as I've got to know her, she's a bit annoying, but the sex is great, so I'll hang on in there"

3. "bloody hell, I can't bare to be with her, the sex just isn't worth it"

4. Break up

5. Time passes

6. "god I'm horny, that woman I was seeing a bit back was really hot, wonder if she'll be up for a no strings fuck"

7. Texts her. "

I'm the furthest thing from hot, but this has been very much my experience.

A guy gets all the sex he could want, but outside the bedroom things aren't right and we split. Time passes and he forgets the shit that wasn't right, just remembers the great sex, messages out of the blue assuming I'm still a pining wreck and will jump at the chance.

I always block and delete, but I've had a guy set up a new Facebook profile 5 or 6 years down the line so he can message. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one of his exes he has done this to.

Doesn't really bother me, I've moved on so there's no temptation to engage. It took me a long time to get to this point but it was incredibly empowering when I realised a lack of response is entirely within my control.

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Maybe you’re easy to read , like having a shit poker face kind of thing ...

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I'd guess it's because you are easy to read and manipulate also you obviously choose the guys who can read you well and enjoy manipulation as not all men have that skill or desire x

Yeah obviously it’s my fault even though I’ve not had any contact with him or seen him for months

I will apologise again

Very sorry I did indeed mis read your OP to mean why do they message just before you are over them dumb me

Erm so yeah just chancing it

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Because they can... when they think they don’t matter to you they test the waters to prove that they do. "

I’m loving this. All correct so far I’d say. Very much an ego thing.

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